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(Holy Taco)   Ten items that you think make you look cool but really don't. Bluetooth headsets suspiciously ab- oh wait, there it is at #8   (holytaco.com) divider line 464
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58936 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2008 at 7:40 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Xai
2008-05-15 09:24:08 PM
i love how everyone who dosen't play guitar hero assumes people play it to look cool, or because they think it is like playing a real guitar or something.

It's a freaking game! It's fun! that's it! seriously!
 
2008-05-15 09:24:33 PM
Barakku: skatedrifter: Longboards are only cool if it's a girl skater.


This guy, not so cool.

You don't need a longboard to bomb a hill.

My ride


/Lives in Athens, GA. Lots of hills!

Longboards make people cool? Any people? Since when? That's the lamest thing I've ever seen. It's like taking something that's kinda cool, and sticking a giant purple cock ejaculating a rainbow on it to look cool.


And if a girl is riding it, it IS cool. Trust me.
 
2008-05-15 09:24:45 PM
Sgt Otter: Lasik: Sgt Otter: /I also suck at most FPS games, but I'm a pretty good machine-gunner in real life.

Oh ya! Well I'm a ninja.



Cool! Can you show me that "vanish in a puff of smoke trick?"


HA HA FARKING PWNED!
 
2008-05-15 09:25:01 PM
Nakmirax: Great Janitor:
As for the funny ring tones, at least make them interesting. My ringtone is the music that plays in the Final Fantasy games when you win a battle. Geeky, yeah, but fun none the less. Last week I was at target and got into an argument at the store with a customer. I really wish I knew what it was about. My girlfriend was in another section of the store and when she was done, she called me, so right when my last rant/rebuttal finished, my phone rang. The girl I was arguing with got this funny look on her face and her boyfriend started to laugh and said, "I think he won."

Playing that scenario out in my head just made my day. Hilarious

/FF Nerd


I want the airship music from FF4.
 
2008-05-15 09:25:12 PM
Luthiel: Have you never had the misfortune to see one of these?

Aztek? Oh yeah. Some guy parks one near my office - a bright yellow one. Ugly doesn't even begin to describe that thing.

WayToBlue: Huge sunglasses, especially huge white sunglasses.

On the topic of glasses, how about those squarish "1950's nerd and/or military issue" ugly black plastic narrow ones? Often worn by people drinking PBR and wearing someone else's bowling shirt, naturally.
 
2008-05-15 09:25:44 PM
menolikepoopybad: I manage to have a cell phone, not use a bluetooth headset and at the same time I dont break the law. Impossible you say? Not so! The secret is simple..

DON'T ANSWER THE farkING PHONE WHILE YOU ARE DRIVING.

Unless you are a Doctor with a patient dying on the table, or some other equally important profession, you really don't need to answer that call.

Before you say you do..stop. No you don't.

The only exceptions to this rule are having a sick kid or dying relative.

Merging into my lane a foot from my bumper because you were taking a call from your wife, who was reminding you to pick up sour cream on the way home, should be punishible by death.

Using a bluetooth headset does not make you a safer driver, it makes you more likely to cut me off me while having both hands on the wheel.

/rant over


THIS

/ got hit by an asshat yapping on his phone while driving
// has phone, NEVER answers in the car for that reason.
 
2008-05-15 09:27:43 PM
#50 - People who use the word "Hella".
 
2008-05-15 09:28:27 PM
itazurakko: See also: Old Style.

As a poor college student Cubs fan, I'm getting a kick out of that.
 
2008-05-15 09:28:39 PM
I'm proud to say I have/do none of those things.

God have mercy, though, if that makes me any cooler.
 
2008-05-15 09:30:30 PM
itazurakko: On the topic of glasses, how about those squarish "1950's nerd and/or military issue" ugly black plastic narrow ones?

$18 frames at wal-mart. That's why.
 
2008-05-15 09:31:32 PM
SichuanPepper: Guessing you are not a runner that has kids then. Or you're a runner with kids, but you have $10/hr. to pay the babysitter next door to watch said kids every time you run. Or you just leave'm at home alone while you run.
 
2008-05-15 09:34:39 PM
itazurakko:
On the topic of glasses, how about those squarish "1950's nerd and/or military issue" ugly black plastic narrow ones? Often worn by people drinking PBR and wearing someone else's bowling shirt, naturally.

Frak you! Those just happen to look better on some people than regular glasses. Especially since my prescription is so thick that regular frames look ridiculous.

/Not really telling you to frak off, but I took personal offense to that statement.
//Okay I wasn't really offended
 
2008-05-15 09:34:46 PM
Gunny Highway:

I want the airship music from FF4.


Link
Found some MIDI's for that on here along with tons of other FFIV musics.
 
2008-05-15 09:35:50 PM
Luthiel: phillydrifter: THANK YOU NUMBER 6!

ugliest fuggin' car i ever seen
stupid fuggin' soccer moms

That's the ugliest car you've ever seen?? Have you never had the misfortune to see one of these?


The Aztek is indeed an ugly-ass car. But not quite as ugly as a Scion, I think.
 
2008-05-15 09:36:50 PM
Rainbowtyedye: ichiban: Bluetooth headsets: Wear them in your car. Handsfree when using a cell phone. It's the law. But take it the hell off when you leave the vehicle.

/ has one
// the only time it leaves the car is when it needs a recharge

My Crackberry car charger works on my bluetooth headset so I NEVER take my bluetooth outta the car.


Just got one myself last month. Works great, but I just keep it in the car, no need to look like a douche walking around with it.
 
2008-05-15 09:37:43 PM
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: If you've ever wondered what a gay transformer would turn in to, wonder no more. Not only do they call a retarded amount of attention to themselves on the road, when you drive them you look like a soccer mom whose transporting alcohol during the prohibition era.

Oh man I cannot stand the PT Cruiser. How come everyone who drives one thinks it's a corvette with a minivan body.

PT Cruiser = Clown Car.


This.
 
2008-05-15 09:37:49 PM
Nakmirax: Gunny Highway:

I want the airship music from FF4.

Link
Found some MIDI's for that on here along with tons of other FFIV musics.


Awesome thanks man.
 
2008-05-15 09:38:17 PM
JonnyBGoode: Luthiel: phillydrifter: THANK YOU NUMBER 6!

ugliest fuggin' car i ever seen
stupid fuggin' soccer moms

That's the ugliest car you've ever seen?? Have you never had the misfortune to see one of these?

The Aztek is indeed an ugly-ass car. But not quite as ugly as a Scion, I think.


I dunno. The Scion certainly isn't attractive - I'm waiting to see one painted brick-red to match it's shape - but the Aztek is just outright ugly.
 
2008-05-15 09:38:52 PM
I work for chrysler and i'm getting a kick out of these PT LOOSER comments.

/agrees
//The HHR is as bad, if not worse.
 
2008-05-15 09:40:24 PM
#13 Anybody who would show up on the Internet with a img.fark.net icon next to his name, and think that somehow he's Chuck Norris all of a sudden.
 
2008-05-15 09:41:23 PM
studebaker hoch: #13 Anybody who would show up on the Internet with a icon next to his name, and think that somehow he's Chuck Norris all of a sudden.

haha, THIS!
 
2008-05-15 09:44:03 PM
blazeon: studebaker hoch: #13 Anybody who would show up on the Internet with a icon next to his name, and think that somehow he's Chuck Norris all of a sudden.

haha, THIS!


ditto


Although it would make entering caturday , Farktography contests and such a little earlier:)
 
2008-05-15 09:44:04 PM
blogs.laweekly.com

Any year after 2003.
 
2008-05-15 09:44:12 PM
See My Az Go: /Not really telling you to frak off, but I took personal offense to that statement.
//Okay I wasn't really offended


I was just wondering... myself, I have big huge round nerd wire frames, so it's not really like I can be casting too many aspersions.
 
2008-05-15 09:44:15 PM
is quoting The Big Lebowski not cool then???

/Then only the uncool will quote the Big Lebowski
 
2008-05-15 09:44:26 PM
I know a few people who fit that list, so I happened to enjoy the article.

I don't see the problem with Bluetooth wearers, except those that walk around with it in public when they're not carrying anything. Just pick up the farking phone. And please shut it off when you're in line ordering, like the link said. Those are the only times when they piss me off. Other than that, carry on.
 
2008-05-15 09:44:55 PM
studebaker hoch: #13 Anybody who would show up on the Internet with a icon next to his name, and think that somehow he's Chuck Norris all of a sudden.

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris a TFer has five dollars, Chuck Norris the TFer has more money than you.

/wait, what?
 
2008-05-15 09:45:28 PM
It's weird because this guy criticizes longboards for being too slow and then claims that regular skateboards are superior.

In actuality, longboards are significantly faster than skateboards.

/ obviously guilty of #2
// regular skateboards do require significantly more skill than longboards
/// if you're gonna criticize at least be consistent
 
2008-05-15 09:45:57 PM
Saying "THIS" in response to an internet post to which you could never hope to articulate a reply in a short enough time to be relevant.

suck it, YOU.
 
2008-05-15 09:46:30 PM
Longboards are definitely not cool. Get a real skate and learn to ollie over a curb.

But fruit booters are by far worse.
 
2008-05-15 09:46:46 PM
Bluetooth!!!!!!
I see fat, middle-aged men in shorts, wearing them in the store. Like they are so friggin' important that they need to be on call to make life-or-death decisions at a moment's notice.
 
2008-05-15 09:47:09 PM
Somacandra: Not to criticize, but who in the world is calling her at 5:30 in the morning? That's like, ass o'clock or something.

I see these people all the time. riving into work at 6AM. THe few miles before the highway...woman talking on her phone.
20 minutes later, far down the highway...same car, same woman...still yapping on the phone.

Lady! Who the hell are you talking to at 6AM!?! For 1/2 an hour???
WTF!

/oh FSM, I wish cellphone jammers weren't illegal in this country
//I might obtain one anyway
///Hang up and drive
 
2008-05-15 09:47:16 PM
#whatever; M o n o p o l y Homes.

/List is o/w spot on.
 
2008-05-15 09:47:17 PM
#11: 22" rims/spinners

Why you think you're cool: Yo Boyeeeeee! This shiate is dope fresh! you be blingin' and all da pimps will be hatin' when you come down the street in this sweet ride!!!

Why you're not cool: You've put them on a 2001 Ford Taurus. So you've got rims on that lower the car's performance, Don't handle worth shiate, and cost more than you pay rent an any three months. Welcome to Douchebagville, Mayor: YOU! Good thing you got those spinners, Every Mayor needs a Helicopter!
 
2008-05-15 09:48:17 PM
burly guy at the gym wearing leather boots, torn jeans and a cowboy shirt.
ironic part: he doesn't drive a truck. he works in a cube and actually changes into this hipster get-up to make him look strong and aPATHETIC at the same time.
definitely nails the pathetic part.
 
2008-05-15 09:48:46 PM
Can't believe I forgot these two:


img254.imageshack.us
 
2008-05-15 09:49:06 PM
rindeee: SichuanPepper: Guessing you are not a runner that has kids then. Or you're a runner with kids, but you have $10/hr. to pay the babysitter next door to watch said kids every time you run. Or you just leave'm at home alone while you run.

These are used for running? I've only seen these in front of MILF's with a SB latte in the cup holder.
 
2008-05-15 09:49:27 PM
studebaker hoch: Saying "THIS" in response to an internet post to which you could never hope to articulate a reply in a short enough time to be relevant.

suck it, YOU.


Are you one of those internet bullies i hear so much about?
 
2008-05-15 09:49:30 PM
menolikepoopybad: Merging into my lane a foot from my bumper because you were taking a call from your wife, who was reminding you to pick up sour cream on the way home, should be punishible by death.

It will be, sooner or later. The problem is, who they take with them.
 
2008-05-15 09:49:44 PM
The whole thing seemed more like one individual mouthing off about what he personally doesn't like than a real analysis
 
2008-05-15 09:50:33 PM
Gunny Highway: Nakmirax: Gunny Highway:

I want the airship music from FF4.

Link
Found some MIDI's for that on here along with tons of other FFIV musics.

Awesome thanks man.


Not a problem, glad to see I'm not the only FF Fanboy around here.
 
2008-05-15 09:51:03 PM
Shastar: #11: 22" rims/spinners

Why you think you're cool: Yo Boyeeeeee! This shiate is dope fresh! you be blingin' and all da pimps will be hatin' when you come down the street in this sweet ride!!!

Why you're not cool: You've put them on a 2001 Ford Taurus. So you've got rims on that lower the car's performance, Don't handle worth shiate, and cost more than you pay rent an any three months. Welcome to Douchebagville, Mayor: YOU! Good thing you got those spinners, Every Mayor needs a Helicopter!


Funniest shiat I've ever seen was driving through Hartford a year a two ago, I passed a shiatbox Dodge Caravan, eggplant-purple with patches of primer... with spinner rims.

I laughed so hard I nearly took out a parking meter.
 
2008-05-15 09:51:04 PM
Surprised to see I am only guilty of the Guitar Hero offense!


/Oh and I would love to school you at your song of choice on expert.
// Except Through the Fire and the Flames
/// I actually play guitar, too! Double the douche-bag fun
 
2008-05-15 09:51:34 PM
Great Metal Jesus: I play and enjoy Rock Band/Guitar Hero and have never once confused my enjoying a video game with any sort of musical talent whatsoever.

Rock Band and Guitar Hero = Dance Dance Revolution without the exercise. Sad.
 
2008-05-15 09:52:22 PM
Borrowed Your Mom's Bong 2008-05-15 09:37:43 PM
WHY YOU'RE NOT COOL: If you've ever wondered what a gay transformer would turn in to, wonder no more. "

/FTW!
//I LOL to tears.


This is already my favorite thread of the year.
 
2008-05-15 09:52:57 PM
img.photobucket.com
 
2008-05-15 09:53:50 PM
YouPeopleAreCrazy:
Lady! Who the hell are you talking to at 6AM!?! For 1/2 an hour???
WTF!


Some people are morning people. I'm far more likely to be up at 3 AM than 8 AM, but there are those who are the other way around.

Aside from that, if you work for a company with offices with large time zone distances, and you're a point of contact for one or more teams at other sites, you may not have much of a choice. It's going to be a bad time for -somebody- if you have a phone meeting with people from Bangalore, San Francisco, and New York and London, for instance.
 
2008-05-15 09:54:47 PM
southaustin: Great Metal Jesus: I play and enjoy Rock Band/Guitar Hero and have never once confused my enjoying a video game with any sort of musical talent whatsoever.

Rock Band and Guitar Hero = Dance Dance Revolution without the exercise. Sad.


So what kind of exercise if fark?
 
kab
2008-05-15 09:55:41 PM
I'm innocent of all the list infractions.. so here's a few more to add:

11. Angled baseball hats

12. Generation labels.

13. Any phrase revolving around "blog", "____ster" or "___cast".

14. Music labelling, and deciding what a person is like based on what they listen to.
 
2008-05-15 09:58:19 PM
FTFA: 7. Quoting Austin Powers/Borat/Old School


That's why I only quote Izzard.
 
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