Whew, I was afraid of pulling a muscle.

Dude WTF?

/lame

The UK has 4.2 million CCTV cameras!

Based on an extrapolation of a single survey of a single street in Putney.

You can wash down 8 spiders with 8 glasses of water a day.

subby wins.

Unavailable for comment and could give a fark less.

7. Global Warming is caused by people who drive SUVs and have air-conditioned homes, and eat meat.

You don't need to neat the crap out of your wife to get your point across, but some mild physical pressure will work wonders when you need to set her straight -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3FgMLROTqJ0

Not only am I surprised that a link to Cracked got green, but that there's a graphic for links to Cracked.

60% of the time, this is always true.

puffy999: I thought that said something that rhymes with, but is not, the word "beating."

Is that like, the inverse of a Cleveland steamer?

/Ew

anthonix: Global Warming is caused by people who drive SUVs and have air-conditioned homes, and eat meat.

Oh fark off with your martyrdom shiat.

SquirrelHill: Not only am I surprised that a link to Cracked got green, but that there's a graphic for links to Cracked.

Constable Tom: Unavailable for comment and could give a fark less.

I always thought Cracked was like, a MADD spoof. Surprised they're real.

/My dad has a ton of the old timey paper-back ones. Y'know,the funny ones.

So the part of your brain you're using to read this article is not the same part you'll be using tonight when you get drunk and fight a hobo.

Perhaps they could team up and read the hobo a book? Or hit him with one?

FTA: So the part of your brain you're using to read this article is not the same part you'll be using tonight when you get drunk and fight a hobo.

Now that was funny right there, I don't care who you are.

/The original said "fark a midget"
//Goddamn editors

Don't you know that 40% of statistics are made up on the spot?

Hey, Cracked got it's own graphic thing. Cool.

Haoie: Don't you know that 40% of statistics are made up on the spot?

4 times out of ten it's right every time.

I thought I was the only one who felt that Die Hard was a Christmas movie. I totally watch that every year on Christmas Eve.

While suicides probably do go down at Christmas, the only person I ever knew who committed suicide committed it at Christmas.

And worse, it was my farking Rabbi!

(Kidding about the rabbi, not kidding about my neighbor, whose fiance had died about three months earlier. RIP both of them.)

Barakku: SquirrelHill: Not only am I surprised that a link to Cracked got green, but that there's a graphic for links to Cracked.

Constable Tom: Unavailable for comment and could give a fark less.

I always thought Cracked was like, a MADD spoof. Surprised they're real.

/My dad has a ton of the old timey paper-back ones. Y'know,the funny ones.

I think you mean MAD (MADD are a bunch of insane neo-prohibitionists) and it used to be a cheap imitation of MAD (back when MAD was funny - like when I was 7, long before it was ever an unfunny TV show).

And so now people are supposed to believe what they read in Cracked? Why? Because it's online now?

I wouldn't be surprised if I ate 8 spiders a year either, although I doubt they're crawling down my throat while I sleep. It's not like some of them aren't very small and might be mixed up in some chili or something like that.

I'm gonna disagree.

Swimming (different from standing in the shallow end) after eating is not a good idea unless you are used to doing so. Its like eating and then going for a run. Unless you are used to this sort of thing, you are likely to have a very tough time running. In the water, obviously, the consequences can be more severe. But on the other hand, long distance athletes, be they runners or swimmers, routinely eat right before practice. Once your body gets conditioned to a stomach full of food it becomes less of an issue, and they use it for quick fuel during the workout.

/Article was splitting hairs.
//the saying as I learned it was don't swim, not don't get in the water

ahh another list from cracked... whats the statistic saying statistics are crap?

Once I read a poll that said something like:

45 out of a 100 Americans believe in the existence of angels.
60% of Americans believe in aliens or have been abducted.
70% Americans are religious and believe in god.


America. WTF?

/1 guy in 10 is gay, apparently
//penis

In 2006 The UK's Daily Mirror warned that "the average person will swallow anything from eight to 20 spiders before they die."

Wow I feel so much better about the Brown Recluse bite I got back in high school that made my farking skin peel and ooze before the internet existed. I had no idea they were so tasty. Who knew they tasted like banannas when it tried to turn my back into one?

/gonna start carrying a mini spider frying pan with me from now on.

GungFu: /1 guy in 10 is gay, apparently
//penis

Another mis-used statistic. It's more around 3-5%.

/Pen

This list is actually the 7th to 12th place for fake statistics. Here's the real, complete list from ABC News: "Oft-Quoted but False Statistics That You Never Thought to Check" (new window)

GungFu: Once I read a poll that said something like:

45 out of a 100 Americans believe in the existence of angels.
60% of Americans believe in aliens or have been abducted.
70% Americans are religious and believe in god.


America. WTF?

/1 guy in 10 is gay, apparently
//penis

And one in 100 Hong Kong residents have pedo-bear tendencies because your women look like 16 year olds.

Easy to shoot shots at us from 12000 miles away isn't it?

Hong Kong. WTF?

One stat that cannot be denied. The GOP is the biggest threat to freedom and liberty the U.S. has ever had to face.

alaskan gold digger: I'm gonna disagree.

Swimming (different from standing in the shallow end) after eating is not a good idea unless you are used to doing so. Its like eating and then going for a run. Unless you are used to this sort of thing, you are likely to have a very tough time running. In the water, obviously, the consequences can be more severe. But on the other hand, long distance athletes, be they runners or swimmers, routinely eat right before practice. Once your body gets conditioned to a stomach full of food it becomes less of an issue, and they use it for quick fuel during the workout.

/Article was splitting hairs.
//the saying as I learned it was don't swim, not don't get in the water

Not that I actually had anyone tell me, but I thought it was because exercise (like swimming) on a full stomach can cause you to hurl.

/at least that's about how my experiences with exercise immediately after eating has been

I swear, Cracked is the new Super Deluxe. Every article ends up on the front page of Digg, then here. These are not even decent stats.

GungFu:
/1 guy in 10 is gay, apparently


So of the 35 guys who've posted to this thread, 3 are gay and 1 is bi?

/you know who you are

GungFu: 60% of Americans believe in aliens or have been abducted.

Really, the ones who have been abducted have good reason to believe in aliens.

Gr8fulDude: GungFu:
/1 guy in 10 is gay, apparently


So of the 35 guys who've posted to this thread, 3 are gay and 1 is bi?

/you know who you are

I've posted four times in this thread, so...oh dear...

filter: I swear, Cracked is the new Super Deluxe. Every article ends up on the front page of Digg, then here. These are not even decent stats.

Except cracked isn't going bankrupt and doesn't have FARKTV.

fanbladesaresharp:

And one in 100 Hong Kong residents have pedo-bear tendencies because your women look like 16 year olds.



That'll be the whitey expats, probably from the US (30%), UK(60%), Aus(5%) and Germany(5%).

In other South Asian countries, like Thailand, the German numbers go higher in the White boy pedo-scale.

/this is most likely due to the fact 70% of Americans do not own a passport or know what it is
//I know at least one Farker gets all uppity about the numbers and should really STFU before looking at people's profiles

According to this statistic, unlike air, water-to-skin contact has magical properties that cause the food in your belly to explode unless it is past a certain point in your digestive track.

According to this sentance it's wrong to build straw men, because straw men can suddenly come to life and lay waste to whole towns and cities.

A few years ago, my unlce swallowed 8 spiders while swimming at the lake and got a really bad cramp and drowned. My dad was right there, but he was checking out this girl in a bikini and he must have been using all 10% of his brain thinking about sex because he never saw my uncle drowning. Anyway, this happened on Christmas and the police ruled it was a suicide. Strangely, the only person who wasn't upset was my Aunt. She came to our super bowl party a few weeks later and for the first time ever, she wasn't wearing long sleeves or sunglasses.

Barakku: I've posted four times in this thread, so...oh dear...

So you're fourgay.

Gr8fulDude: So of the 35 guys who've posted to this thread, 3 are gay and 1 is bi?

As # of posts in a Cracked thread goes up, probability that you are gay approaches 1.

/crap, I should have consolidated

Gairloch: Not that I actually had anyone tell me, but I thought it was because exercise (like swimming) on a full stomach can cause you to hurl.

That's true, of course, but there's a very commonly held myth that you will "cramp up" in the water (and likely sink and drown) if you swim right after eating. Like the article says, it's pretty obvious BS, but I've actually known otherwise smart people who believed it.

SquirrelHill: Not only am I surprised that a link to Cracked got gre

Cracked has had lots of good funny stuff lately. Not just slapstick, but good satire and such. Been several Cracked articles submitted that have been greenlit over the last few months.

GungFu: fanbladesaresharp:

And one in 100 Hong Kong residents have pedo-bear tendencies because your women look like 16 year olds.



That'll be the whitey expats, probably from the US (30%), UK(60%), Aus(5%) and Germany(5%).

In other South Asian countries, like Thailand, the German numbers go higher in the White boy pedo-scale.

/this is most likely due to the fact 70% of Americans do not own a passport or know what it is
//I know at least one Farker gets all uppity about the numbers and should really STFU before looking at people's profiles

Goddammit. Now I've had to post twice. That's upped my gay-dar numbers by 100%. How many people in Hong Kong (remember, you're a british expat of sorts too) have never left the islands?