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(Movie Juice)   Harry Potter grasps his mandrake root   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

98 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Nov 2002 at 4:05 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

60 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-11-19 04:09:11 PM  
i still dunno about this hairy pooter character...
2002-11-19 04:10:50 PM  
2002-11-19 04:12:41 PM  
um er wha huh? actually, i dont want to know
2002-11-19 04:12:58 PM  
Well, if we can't have good links, at least they threw us a bone with the headline.
2002-11-19 04:13:03 PM  
Fark this Potter bullshiate. All I want to see now are; The Two Towers (LoTR); and next year both sequels to The Matrix. Anything else is a minor diversion.
2002-11-19 04:13:48 PM  
Movie Juice? Is that what is on the floor of the theaters that your shoes stick to? Nasty.
2002-11-19 04:14:07 PM  
I'm sure he's talking about that one beater on the Slytherin quiddich team.. dude looks like he's walking around with a mouthfull of candy corn..
2002-11-19 04:16:39 PM  
I'd hit it.
2002-11-19 04:16:40 PM  
"That's what I call a Magic Johnson."

2002-11-19 04:17:11 PM  
i can't tell if he is making fun of the movie or actually enjoyed it, he's kinda all over the place

if you are going to ridicule a movie you might as well do it full out instead of this drivil
2002-11-19 04:18:13 PM  
Maadrake root?

/me opens xterm, types su, and enters password

Ahhh, Mandrake root
2002-11-19 04:19:14 PM  
Cymtex: too true, that guy is scary looking.

I've gotta say though, Potter's special effects put LotR's to shame so far. Majority of Potter has been seamless, a lot of LotR looks a lil' better than xbox graphics :/
2002-11-19 04:22:41 PM  
Maybe it's becuase I know practically nothing about this Potter kid, but that shti made no sense at all.
2002-11-19 04:23:47 PM  
The fact that I can't type may also be a factor
2002-11-19 04:24:41 PM  
was this supossed to be positive or negative

oh least this potter movie was better then the last...even if it also had glaring differences from the books (though supossedly the author worked with the script writer to get it as close to the book as possible)

and yes I am a harry potter fan...I have no choice
2002-11-19 04:24:43 PM  
fark must be getting some good cash to be posting the movie juice shiat. it farking sucks.
2002-11-19 04:30:19 PM  
MovieJuice bllllloooooooooowwwwwwwws.
2002-11-19 04:30:34 PM  
this is the lamest thing i'll ever admit to, but not only did my friend and i sneak into the first Harry Potter movie, but also the second. we wanted to see it, but the tickets were all sold out, what else could we do?! lame, i know, but it was a good movie. i especially like the mandrake grabbing scene...
2002-11-19 04:30:40 PM  
"Majority of Potter has been seamless, a lot of LotR looks a lil' better than xbox graphics :/"

Wow, that flamebait is just amazing stuff. I got to see part of the first Potter movie today. It was pretty much the greatest thing ever. Hold on a sec, I think it could be topped if someone were to take a dirty razor, cut off my ballsack (leaving balls attached), then my balls could hang free and a cat would be allowed to play ping pong with them. That would be better than the piece of heap I forced myself to watch.
2002-11-19 04:40:05 PM  
<<<<lends Donkster a rusty old razor

this was a great-I repeat- great movie
2002-11-19 04:40:48 PM  
Both the Potter movies were pretty, and did well sticking to the stories (as much as you can expect for a film adaption), but they are BORING. There's no soul. I loved the books, and even so, halfway through the movie I basically felt, "Who cares?". Plus, much of the "acting" was atrocious. How am I supposed to believe that these characters are real when the actors don't believe these characters are real? Still, I'm sure I'll pay to see the next one.

Can't wait for The Two Towers. What the first Harry Potter lacked in soul and depth, the first LOTR had in excess.
2002-11-19 04:42:06 PM  
speaking as a dad -- Harry Potter rocks!
2002-11-19 04:43:46 PM  
I classify people who say "methinks" in with the same group of douchebags who make quotation marks with their fingers, but that's just me.
2002-11-19 04:45:39 PM  
Must... prevent... self... from... locating... Mark Ramsey to... take... revenge... for overusing... cliches...
2002-11-19 04:49:31 PM  
Jesus christ, how much did MovieJuice pay Drew for this advertising, because damn sure no one read that thing and thought it was funny enough to submit.
2002-11-19 04:51:04 PM  
OK, the guy who posted how great the effects were is obviously trolling. Everyone talked about how HORRIBLE the effects were in the first movie. I thought the effects in the second were better (hey, my kids' a big potter fan, I was there opening night), but still nowhere near as good as LOTR or half a dozen movies I could name off the top of my head. I thought the story on the second one was a little more interesting, though.
2002-11-19 04:51:12 PM  
I really enjoy the people that want to argue about whether Lord of the Rings is a better movie than Harry Potter. I think the original Lost Horizon out classed both of them.
2002-11-19 04:54:14 PM  
First of all, pull over you're under arrest for abuse of the "Amusing" tag.

Second of all, I kind of like the second Potter movie, until the end, which was EXACTLY the SAME ending as the FIRST movie.

And why did the flying car come out of nowhere and rescue Harry and Ron from the spiders? Nobody explained that one.
2002-11-19 04:54:42 PM  
I didn't think the second Potter movie was very good. Less characterization, more reliance on effects. Feh.

Then again, I'm not the target audience.
2002-11-19 04:55:41 PM  
Nah, not trying to troll. I think the stories are cheese and weakly done, but the effects are well done. I wish the scenes in Moria could have been done as well as the spider scene in Potter.
2002-11-19 04:56:19 PM  
Moviejuice is almost as unfunny as Farkman. But as long as they both keep giving beer and server money to Drew, I shouldn't complain.
2002-11-19 04:56:37 PM  
methinks Jiqueman has some "issues"
2002-11-19 04:56:54 PM  
The re-appearance of the car was Deux Ex Machina in the most literal sense. And yes, it was weak.

The last thirty minutes of the movie were also pretty limp. I quite enjoyed the flick up to that point, amazing re-appearing car excluded. The end was a let down.
2002-11-19 05:00:34 PM  
Was it a Ford Prefect?
2002-11-19 05:02:09 PM  
Was this supposed to be funny? It just jumps around to so many weird Dennise Miller-like places that it's tough to tell if it's making fun of the movie or making fun of the movie reviews or failing miserably while trying to make fun of both things.

Sadly, when this stuff gets posted it's just another nail in the coffin of Fark. I find myself coming to the site less and less lately, mostly because of the decreasing link quality.
2002-11-19 05:03:17 PM  
Actually I think the re-appearance of the car qualifies as Machina Ex Machina...
2002-11-19 05:06:41 PM  
I don't think is was Machina Ex Machina because wasn't the car somewhat sentient and capable of godlike feats? :)
2002-11-19 05:08:09 PM  
Either way, I think we both agree that it falls under the "Crappy Plot Device Ex Machina" heading.
2002-11-19 05:08:57 PM  
Ass. Pure, unfiltered, unabridged, unrequited ass. J.K. Rowling should be forced to eat a bag of hell for hijacking a tiny bit of this Classic, a small section of that Classic, maybe a chapter or so of this one, and cramming them into books that she passes off as her own. Great author indeed. She is suckling the Literary whore until she can suckle no more. When her farking shiat books fail to make her money, she will no doubt claim to have invented the Internet and demand royalties off of that. She can jam it.

Whoever it was that mentioned "The Two Towers" and the "Matrix" sequels is dead-on balls accurate, but you failed to mention "Hulk" which also comes out next year. Most favorite Marvel heroes for me were always Spider-Man, the Hulk, and the X-Men. With decent movie adaptations coming out left and right, I couldn't be much happier. But the question remains: Will the next Fairy Potter book feature a silly little man in a red and blue suit who can walk on walls? Or maybe a regular guy who turns green when he gets pissed off, and needs vegetation to sustain him? If so, you can rest assured they wouldn't be called Peter Parker and Bruce Banner, but rather Domphus Stompwallow or some shiat.
2002-11-19 05:09:12 PM  
Good article, funny, very funny
2002-11-19 05:09:17 PM  
The cure for this affliction is the mandrake root, and Professor Sprout knows just how to massage this root. "Grasp your mandrake and pull it up," she advises her students. Shock ensues when Ron Weasley grasped and pulled up the wrong root after Hermoine's spell, "Erectus Levioso!" went horribly awry. That's what I call a Magic Johnson.
It sounds like the gay movie guy from The Daily Show wrote this.

Chamber of Secrets marks another victory for antiquated old lady names when our heroes encounter "Moaning Myrtle" in the bathroom. Myrtle and fellow students Enid, Hazel, Vera, Cora, and Fern were schooling at Hogwarts fifty years earlier. But she was mysteriously killed and is now doomed to float gloomily around the bathroom performing a Sally Field one-woman show.
Oh yeah, I forgot about Myrtle, the ghost who lives in the girls' bathroom. So what happens when one of the girls flushes down a bloody tampon, since Myrtle lives in the toilet? That must suck a lot.
2002-11-19 05:16:58 PM  
Ok, I'll admit to this. I loved the last episode of South Park when Cartman walked past those kids in his Gandalf hat and called them "Faegs" when he found out they were playing Harry Potter. Genius. That show can still make me laugh.
2002-11-19 05:20:33 PM  
As far as I'm concerned, the quality of the movie doesn't matter in the least, because Alan Rickman is in it. Only reason I saw the first one, only reason I'm gonna see this one. *drooooool*
2002-11-19 05:26:38 PM  
" Harry Potter grasps his mandrake root "

That's a load of feces, the bastard's still alive.
2002-11-19 05:31:40 PM  
Ah, I see Donkster is back. Fortunately, my tolerance of the opinions of others has been finely honed by his hand.

I liked the second movie. I love the books. I personally don't agree that the effects are LotR-caliber, but I'm not disappointed by that. This review, however, I think most of us agree, could have been more successful as a piece of writing.
2002-11-19 05:35:18 PM  
Damn straight, Tom_Riddle. I was going to change the channel (even though I was doing my damnedest to make myself watch the flick), and up pops Alan Rickman. That was cool, even though I had no farking idea what he was going on about. It was like a cinematographic ham-fest when he was chattering about "good" or "bad" and ooh look they show the "good" kid or "bad" kid (I guess) while he's talking.

For the lovers out there, I'm going to take another crack at watching tonight and make myself sit through it (unless I fall asleep).
2002-11-19 05:49:25 PM  
Bitterman That was one of the best South Park episodes I've seen in a while. Loved the Butters as Gollum part. ""
2002-11-19 06:15:09 PM  
Movie Juice is only slightly better than Cosmiverse!
2002-11-19 06:26:14 PM  
Backgroundnoise = douchebag
2002-11-19 06:30:12 PM  
Once again there's the familiar Quidditch match. And again, Hogwarts' sole African American student is the sports announcer. Do Black wizards make better sportscasters? Time for a spell of her own: "Foxy Brownicus Al Sharptonus!"

African American? I thought all the kids in these movies were British. Does that make him an African Briton or a British African?

Her own? I'm pretty sure the token black kid is a boy. Which reminds me, his name should be "Token," a la South Park.
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