Sacks full of doorknobs are still all right.

*picture of Morbo*
JENKEM DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

Teamsters promise that when they strike they won't bring guns or knives or ball bearings or rocks or sledge hammers or "balloons filled with excrement"

But they had their fingers crossed, so it doesn't count.

"Well what about pointed sticks?"

Aren't all Teamsters balloons filled with excrement?

How exactly does one get excrement into a baloon?

"And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu--"

"But will they still bring sandwiches?"

Now they'll bring the excrement and balloons in their pockets and fill them on-site.

How do you get poop into a balloon?
/on second thought, nevermind.

kind of takes all the fun out of it if you can't even shiat into a balloon ....

Photo of teamsters in question.

Trojan Horse?

robisfunky: How do you get poop into a balloon?

I came here to ask this.

They're just taking the fun out of everything!

Raging Thespian: Cagey B: Sacks full of doorknobs are still all right.

Please find the exit to my head at the back and to the left.

Back and to the left.Back and to the left.Back and to the left.

Unlike the Battle at Homestead...

well first you have to get the gerbil into the balloon, then you shove the whole thing up your ass and the gerbil does most of the work, it goes to work digging in your ass and shoveling the shiat into the balloon while it works deeper and deeper ... when the balloon feels just about full you crap out the balloon and insert a plumber's snake into your colon and start feeling around for the gerbil .. when you have a firm hold on the gerbil you just yank the little bastage out of there, tie off the top of the balloon, and you're good to go.

Better not piss off the unions too much, the have ballons full of excriment, oh wait, that is just the elected representatives in their back pocket. It is so easy to get them confused.

RodneyToady: 99 ScheissBalloons?

I laughed hard at that reference. Nice one!

Did anybody else notice the date? This is from like 5 years ago

99 Scheissballons
Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont

epyonyx: "But will they still bring sandwiches?"

you have to beat them in a drinking contest first

...it's in their contract

But...Don't touch the hair!

/Obscure.

I also want to know how one poops into a balloon.

In case the site is farked for you as it is for me, here is some google cache goodness:

September 30, 2003

The Wall Street Journal's editorial page (sorry, subscribers only), has an editorial entitled "The Teamster Promise" that excerpts from and links to the Teamsters' NLRB settlement arising out of "a nasty-and ultimately unsuccessful-strike against Overnite Transportation Co."

The posted notice, which is buried deep in the Teamsters' website, is of course part of a "non-admit" settlement. The number of charges alone is mind-boggling. But, knowing NLRB practices, one must assume there was credible evidence some Teamster somewhere, engaged in every one of the following outrageous activities they have now promised not to do. I'm quoting extensively, as did the Journal, because it really covers the waterfront of union violence:

"WE WILL NOT brandish or carry any weapon of any kind, including, but not limited to, guns, knives, slingshots, rocks, ball bearings, liquid-filled balloons or other projectiles, sledge hammers, bricks, sticks, or two by fours . . ..

"WE WILL NOT use or threaten to use a weapon of any kind, including but not limited to guns, knives, slingshots, rocks, ball bearings, liquid-filled balloons or other projectiles, picket signs, sticks, sledge hammers, bricks, hot coffee, bottles, two by fours, lit cigarettes, eggs, or bags or balloons filled with excrement . . ..

WE WILL NOT damage, threaten to damage or attempt to damage any vehicle or equipment owned or operated by Overnite, its employees or security guards, by any means or manner, including but not limited by slingshots, rocks, ball bearings, liquid-filled balloons or other projectiles, knives, picket signs, sticks, sledge hammers, bricks, bottles, two by fours, eggs, or paint, or by tearing off mirrors, windshield wipers or antennas, or breaking windows.

WE WILL NOT disable or attempt to disable vehicles owned or operated by Ovemite, by any means or manner, including but not limited to disconnecting or otherwise severing air brake lines, padlocking doors, spraying substances in or otherwise jamming locks, stealing keys, puncturing radiators, cutting hoses or door cables, flattening tires or throwing, placing or otherwise spreading any nails, screws, star nails, jack rocks or similar devices capable of puncturing tires on any road surface.

WE WILL NOT endanger or impede the progress of or harass any non-striking employee or any employee of a neutral person doing business with Ovemite, while he or she is operating a company vehicle or his or her own personal vehicle, by forcing or attempting to force him or her off the road, blocking, delaying or limiting his or her access to or passage on any road, swerving toward, driving recklessly near, tailgating or braking abruptly in front of him or her, impeding his or her progress by speeding up and slowing down, driving at speeds below the legal minimums while in front of him or her.

WE WILL NOT endanger or impede the progress of or harass any non-striking employee or any employee of a neutral person doing business with Ovemite, while he or she is operating a company vehicle or his or her own personal vehicle, by jumping on vehicles, by attempting to open the doors of vehicles, by throwing paint on windshields, by using mirrors, laser pointers, spot lights or flash photography in the eyes of drivers, or by obstructing the view of drivers by holding picket signs over the windshields of vehicles.

WE WILL NOT engage in mass picketing or otherwise impede the ingress or egress of Ovemite employees or employees of any other employer to or from any Overnite service center or any facility of any neutral person doing business with Overnite or patrol or walk across the entrance of any Ovemite service center or a facility of any neutral person doing business with Overnite in such a manner as to impede or delay the ingress or egress of any individua1.

WE WILL NOT batter, assault, spit on, blow whistles loudly near a person's ear, throw any liquid or solid object at, or attempt to assault any non-striking employee of Overnite or any member of his or her family or any employee of a neutral employee doing business with Overnite, or any security guard or supervisor or manager of a neutral employee doing business with Overnite in the presence of employees.

WE WILL NOT threaten to kill or inflict bodily harm, make throat slashing motions, make gun pointing motions, challenge or threaten to fight or assault employees, threaten to sexually assault non-striking employees or their family members, threaten to follow non-striking employees to their homes, use racial epithets or obscene gestures at non-striking employees or otherwise threaten unspecified reprisals on any non-striking employee of Overnite or any member of his or her family or any employee of a neutral employee doing business with Overnite, or on any security guard, supervisor or manager of Ovemite or neutral employers doing business with Ovemite in the presence of employees.

WE WILL NOT videotape or photograph any non-striking employees of Ovemite, or vehicles of Ovemite or of its nonstriking employees while engaging in coercive activity observed by or known by those being videotaped or photographed or threaten to release the photographs, names, addresses or phone numbers of non-striking employees in order to intimidate the non-striking employees.

WE WILL NOT prevent any non-striking employee from accessing an Ovemite vehicle or a personal vehicle or block Ovemite vehicles or the personal vehicles of non-striking Ovemite employees.

WE WILL NOT threaten to fine or cause the discharge of non-member employees because they cross a picket line or refuse to go on strike.

WE WILL NOT threaten to cause any employee's discharge if they do not engage in a strike or picketing of Ovemite or of any neutral person doing business with Ovemite.

WE WILL NOT attempt to harass and intimidate employees or security guards on Ovemite property by using mirrors to reflect sunlight into the eyes of Ovemite drivers or use mirrors or laser pointers to shine light into the eyes or video cameras of security guards.

WE WILL NOT remove the personal property of non-striking employees from their personal vehicles."

There you have it. While hopefully not every Teamsters' local is equally disgusting, that's their potential bag of tricks. Such conduct should be anticipated and prepared for by employers facing a Teamsters strike. And employees facing a decision about Teamsters representation should probably be given a copy of this notice as fair warning of what they might be getting into.

seminole87: ...... when you have a firm hold on the gerbil you just yank the little bastage out of there, tie off the top of the balloon, and you're good to go.

You're doing it wrong! First, you put the gerbal in a rubber suite and swallow him. The suite protects him from the stomache acid. Then you wait 20 minutes for him to climb all the way down to your colon. When he gets there he will knock on the colon walls three times (kinda like morse code). Next you simply put the opening of the baloon to your o-ring and little lemiwinx will proceed to push the "excrement" into the desired baloon.

Link popped

"I always wanted to be a Teamster, so lazy and surly."

Jimmy "The Blade" Rossi & Frank "The Colostomy" De Luca unavailable for comment

mercator_psi
99 Scheissballons
Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont

teh winnar!

perryjo that has been the west coast style of balloon-excrement packing for a number of years, but we east coasters are purists and see no net balloon-packing benefit to swallowing the rodent.

How many teamsters does it take to change a lightbulb?


37.......you got a problem with that?!

I can't even remember that last time I played with my poop, much less put it into a balloon.

Craptastic: I also want to know how one poops into a balloon.

-Crap into a standard pastry bag, typically used for writing on cakes
-Insert metal / plastic pastry bag tip into balloon
-Squeeze poop into balloon
-Pinch the neck of the balloon so it doesn't squeze back out
-Remove balloon from pastry bag, still pinching the neck
-Attach to standard sink faucet, still pinching neck (may need two people)
-Turn on tap while simultaneously releasing balloon neck
-Water fills balloon until desired size
-Remove and tie
-Shake before throwing

*Do not eat corn before doing this. Pastry bag will clog.
*Remainder of pastry bag contents can be used to write "Sorry" on the truce cake you give to the victim

EsteeFlwrPot: robisfunky: How do you get poop into a balloon?

I came here to ask this.

I'm not sure but I think the process must be similar to how this picture was taken.

But when they aren't on strike, these things are perfectly okay, right?

Which raises the question: how do you know if the Teamsters are on strike or not? It's hard to imagine their productivity dropping any further than their norm.

Great, what am I suppose to do with a gross of balloons now?

Raging Thespian: AmazingRuss: How exactly does one get excrement into a baloon?

You blow it in.

Keyboard, monitor, mouse + diet pepsi= you do the math