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(LBC 97.3)   And now, for his next trick, a substitute teacher will make his job disappear   (tampabays10.com) divider line 127
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20412 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 May 2008 at 8:45 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



127 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2008-05-05 06:10:40 AM
What? No sex involved? I'm calling shenanigans.
 
2008-05-05 06:23:01 AM
Before I comment, I have to put on my robe and get my staff


/// Stupidity...
 
2008-05-05 06:36:16 AM
remus: I have to put on my robe and get my staff

No, no, that's "I put on my robe and wizard hat."
 
2008-05-05 06:38:01 AM
for my next trick I will make 11 of 14 the posts before mine disappear; leaving only the posts of Macular Degenerate, Kiribub and Remus.
 
2008-05-05 06:47:04 AM
Kiribub: No, no, that's "I put on my robe and wizard hat."

Yes. I always forget the hat. At least I remembered the robe this time. I've still got the restraining order from that one time I forgot it....
 
2008-05-05 06:47:38 AM
MorningBreath: for my next trick I will make 11 of 14 the posts before mine disappear; leaving only the posts of Macular Degenerate, Kiribub and Remus.

Do it again! Do it again!
 
2008-05-05 06:50:01 AM
TA DA!
 
2008-05-05 06:57:40 AM
cerote: MorningBreath: for my next trick I will make 11 of 14 the posts before mine disappear; leaving only the posts of Macular Degenerate, Kiribub and Remus.

Do it again! Do it again!


Check this out! POOF I just made one of my 3 posts disappear. I think its a pretty cool variation of the trick, and very difficult, considering I am not a mod.
 
2008-05-05 07:00:57 AM
He's a witch! Burn him!
 
2008-05-05 07:02:12 AM
Watch me pull this rabbit out of my hat.
 
2008-05-05 07:19:14 AM
Again, MorrisBird?
 
2008-05-05 07:26:50 AM
Presto!
 
2008-05-05 07:27:00 AM
Now for real magic, try to find the rational adult who made the complaint.
 
2008-05-05 08:48:25 AM
Some call him..... TIM?

/not obscure at all.
 
2008-05-05 08:50:02 AM
Nice laws you got there.
 
2008-05-05 08:50:16 AM
I don't think this kinda trick even qualifies as wizardry.
 
2008-05-05 08:52:14 AM
Great country you have down there.
 
2008-05-05 08:52:49 AM
Wizardry? More like a level 0 cantrip.

/geek.
 
2008-05-05 08:52:53 AM
I'll bet he made a toothpick disappear & reappear... mmmhmmm.
 
2008-05-05 08:53:15 AM
That's nothing, the school district is about to make dozens of full time teachers disappear when they slice another $2 million from the budget. Pretty soon, substitutes will be all they have.
 
2008-05-05 08:54:07 AM
Well, it's not too hard to imagine when he tries to work in a city named after a brand of butter.

/Or is the brand of butter named after the city?
 
2008-05-05 08:54:43 AM
Fluid: I don't think this kinda trick even qualifies as wizardry.

You kids with your Harry Potter all thinking that that's what wizardry is really like. True wizardry is much more like what was described here.
 
2008-05-05 08:55:08 AM
Wizardry?

www.gamethink.net
 
2008-05-05 08:56:09 AM
behold this simple silver salt cellar, behold this simple hat
 
2008-05-05 08:56:51 AM
Maybe the toothpick was a phallic symbol. If you think like that and remember the Florida tag on this story, you can almost stretch it into a teacher/student sex story.

FTFA: As a substitute teacher, the Pasco County School District considers Piculas to be an "at will employee." That means the district doesn't need to have cause for not bringing him back at all.

The school board certainly could in this guy's case.
 
2008-05-05 08:57:16 AM
The math teacher multiplied 2 by zero and now the 2 is zero. Witchcraft!

The Home ec teacher turned two eggs in to one omelet. Burn her.
 
2008-05-05 08:57:38 AM
prometheus' chicken: behold this simple silver salt cellar, behold this simple hat

You haven't got a hat.
 
2008-05-05 08:58:30 AM
Florida: America's Dark Ages.
 
2008-05-05 08:59:40 AM
Wait...So he didn't even shrink and/or make anyone's genitals disappear?
 
2008-05-05 09:00:29 AM
www.248am.com

/obligatory
 
2008-05-05 09:00:52 AM
Wenchmaster: prometheus' chicken: behold this simple silver salt cellar, behold this simple hat

You haven't got a hat.


Or, "you don't have a hat" (depending upon your education).
 
2008-05-05 09:01:06 AM
Maybe the guy really was just a thunderingly incompetent time-wasting teacher and the toothpick was just the last --er, well-- last straw.
 
2008-05-05 09:01:08 AM
O_o

a florida teacher not having sex with a student?! Unpossible!
 
2008-05-05 09:01:17 AM
www.dejuiced.com
 
2008-05-05 09:02:01 AM
diesel3: Or, "you don't have a hat" (depending upon your education).

I'm pretty sure I used the exact quote from the book.
 
2008-05-05 09:02:53 AM
He made a toothpick disappear...and RE-appear? Truly, the Dark Lord has returned!
 
2008-05-05 09:03:03 AM
Only votes are allowed to disappear in Florida.
 
2008-05-05 09:04:40 AM
did he turn any students into a newt?
 
2008-05-05 09:07:08 AM
hometown.aol.com
 
2008-05-05 09:08:31 AM
Lávate las manos!
 
2008-05-05 09:09:07 AM
Wenchmaster - maybe diesel3 doesn't like DNA?
 
2008-05-05 09:10:00 AM
Substitute teacher Jim Piculas does a 30-second magic trick where a toothpick disappears then reappears.

Sick.
 
2008-05-05 09:10:40 AM
Now if only he could make the evidence against him disappear.
 
2008-05-05 09:11:06 AM
Quick, summon the Inquisition!
 
2008-05-05 09:13:30 AM
...but does he weigh as much as a duck?
 
2008-05-05 09:13:53 AM
Shouldn't have spent so much time in Boltacs
 
2008-05-05 09:14:24 AM
Today toothpicks tomorrow turning students into newts. The only way we can be sure that the children are safe is to make sure that no employee weighs the same as a duck.
 
2008-05-05 09:14:58 AM
Or, as Lil' Yimmee says, wizzerdry.
 
2008-05-05 09:15:28 AM
img132.imageshack.us
 
2008-05-05 09:15:39 AM
You want to know what happened? Fifty bucks says some little brat has wealthy Christian parents who shiat a brick over teh OMG IZ DARKSIDEDERZZZ!!!! NOW MY SUPPORTS TO YOUR BOOSTERZ WIL FOREVER GO AWAY UNLESS YOU CAPITULATE TO MY EVERY WORD!!!

Another fifty says they are a couple of gluttonous buffoons who break half of the laws of Moses while throwing a temper tantrum about the other half.
 
2008-05-05 09:17:56 AM
meh, I think this guy was just bad at his job or not well liked or something. People are looking for any excuse they can get to fire people these days.
 
2008-05-05 09:19:03 AM
mjk42: did he turn any students into a newt?

www.dtdstudios.com
 
2008-05-05 09:19:49 AM
My mother condemns Harry Potter for promoting witchcraft. She's not the only one, apparently.

I hate lawyers, and the whole litigious culture, but this is begging for a lawsuit.
 
2008-05-05 09:20:49 AM
Son of Orpheus: meh, I think this guy was just bad at his job or not well liked or something. People are looking for any excuse they can get to fire people these days.

He's a substitute teacher. How BAD can you be? "Here you kids watch this movie until your teacher gets back."

I fully believe it was because of the wizardry accusation.
 
2008-05-05 09:23:56 AM
Son of Orpheus: meh, I think this guy was just bad at his job or not well liked or something. People are looking for any excuse they can get to fire people these days.

He's a substitute teacher in an at-will employment state, they really don't need to make up stories about wizardry to get rid of him.
 
2008-05-05 09:24:18 AM
MorrisBird: Watch me pull this rabbit out of my hat.

Woooooo! Rockey and Bullwinkle FTW!

/you were refering to that..right?
//my age is showing
///get off MY lawn!
 
2008-05-05 09:24:39 AM
This is easily the dumbest thing I have heard in the past 72 hours.
 
2008-05-05 09:25:14 AM
Burn the farking Christians
 
2008-05-05 09:28:14 AM
Maybe he made the sausage dissapear.
 
2008-05-05 09:29:01 AM
SweetBecca: /you were refering to that..right?
//my age is showing
///get off MY lawn!


I think its says it in the hat.

/Get off my lawn!
 
2008-05-05 09:31:30 AM
Macular Degenerate: What? No sex involved?

It wasn't a toothpick. He'd been swimming, and the water was very cold...

/You wimmens know about shrinkage, right?
 
hej
2008-05-05 09:33:38 AM
Can't believe they didn't back up the wizardry claims by checking to see if he weighed the same as a duck.
 
2008-05-05 09:34:41 AM
This is what happens in a state that's populated with superstitious clods who cling to their Bibles out of fear of education and entertainment. It's unfortunate, but he is just a substitute teacher so I don't really think there's any recourse for the guy.
 
2008-05-05 09:38:15 AM
Truly this man deserves our praises for NOT having sexual relations with a student. And though teaching may not be his forte, I bet he could make a decent sideshow in Vegas.
 
2008-05-05 09:38:50 AM
For Pasco County...

img85.imageshack.us

/people like you helped us get our own tag
 
2008-05-05 09:42:54 AM
My husband occasionally substitute teaches in Brooklyn and one time he got assigned at The Automotive Technical High School during the last few days before summer break. The kids are always rowdy before summer break. Anywho is one class full of boys (15-17?) my husband observed the kids playing "getting ass raped in prison" he didn't want to yell at them so he just let them "ass rape" each other.
 
2008-05-05 09:43:04 AM
Why didn't this get the asinine tag?
 
2008-05-05 09:43:06 AM
Nice little country you have down there.
 
2008-05-05 09:44:26 AM
Ah, now this kind of story is what we created the Florida tag for!

I'm curious.. if they are mystified by the toothpick, how do they handle all the other crazy magic at the school, like electricity and indoor plumbing?
 
2008-05-05 09:45:55 AM
Now let's see him magically pull a new job out of his ass.
 
2008-05-05 09:48:52 AM
And here every teacher and sub I talk to says we're about to hit a major teacher/substitute shortage. Funny how that works, huh? We marginalized a whole proffesion, evicted all the decent teachers/subs for rediculous reasons, and then scared off any intelligent people who were even thinking of becoming teachers.

Within 5 years, the only people who will voluntarily become teachers are the pervs.
 
2008-05-05 09:49:18 AM
I didn't expect the Spanish Inqui...
 
2008-05-05 09:51:48 AM
Dear People of Florida,

Unclench! Please.

Thank you!

/1608 or 2008?
 
2008-05-05 09:52:00 AM
"Tampa Bay's 10 talked to the assistant superintendent with the Pasco County School District who said it wasn't just the wizardry and that Picular had other performance issues, including "not following lesson plans" and allowing students to play on unapproved computers.""

Sounds to me like they didn't like this guy to begin with, and were looking for any excuse to get rid of him. I would think not doing the job well would be a good enough reason. Seems that's ok...you only cross the line when you do *gasp* MAGIC.

/I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 chicken of the Infinite.
 
2008-05-05 09:54:49 AM
He was let go because he made a toothpic disappear? How incredibly stupid.

Unless "toothpick" is a euphemism for "cock", that is.
 
2008-05-05 09:55:38 AM
Damn you adm_crunch!

Fired for wizardry?! Werdna is not amused.

//tiltowait!
///fight fight fight parry parry parry
////I guess there is one person who will get it.
 
2008-05-05 09:56:05 AM
There is just so much stuff wrong here that I don't know how to begin.

"Not following lesson plan" = might be taking a few minutes out of the class period to teach the kids something that is actually useful

"Whatever the thing with the computers" = some douche kid was playing on his laptop instead of paying attention to the class.

Everyone agrees that teachers are one of the most undervalued people in society. But let's definitely tell them they have to ACT undervalued too!
 
2008-05-05 09:56:17 AM
phoenixdna Why didn't this get the asinine tag?

Because Florida tag ALWAYS trumps asinine.... kinda like a full house beats three of a kind.
 
2008-05-05 10:01:40 AM
Well, I wouldn't want a godless wizard teaching my kids, what with their dreadful demonic powers and all (new winders).
 
2008-05-05 10:07:36 AM
Jesus Christ.

This is one of the most poorly written articles I've seen in recent memory. I mean, first of all, it should never have been written in the first place: the story here is "Substitute teacher gets fired for no apparent reason." Add to that the trumped-up charge of "wizardry" (wtf?) and a total lack of decent quotes, interesting details, and a discernable point. This article was a shameful waste of my time.

Wizardry, honestly.

/So angry.
//Retreats muttering to self.
 
2008-05-05 10:11:09 AM
diesel3: Or, "you don't have a hat" (depending upon your education).

True. If one was educated, one would realize (a) it is a verbatim quotation, and (b) "You haven't got", while informal, is valid.
 
2008-05-05 10:33:43 AM
FTComments; Well, actually he IS one of our wizards, and was on special assignment to imprison the souls of children using an enchanted toothpick.

And he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Florida Head Wizard
Orlando, FL



So you see, we're not *all* stupid here.

No wonder Fark has a Florida tag...

Some Guy
Denver, CO


But admittedly, we are outnumbered.

The hardest part of being surrounded by idiots, is accepting that they were still smart enough to surround you
 
2008-05-05 10:37:52 AM
I can saw a woman in two
But you won't want to look in the box when I'm through
I can make love disappear
For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer

I can pull a rabbit out of a hat
I can pull it out, but I can't put it back
I can make love disappear
For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer
 
2008-05-05 10:38:33 AM
diesel3: Wenchmaster: prometheus' chicken: behold this simple silver salt cellar, behold this simple hat

You haven't got a hat.

Or, "you don't have a hat" (depending upon your education).


ArcadianRefugee: diesel3: Or, "you don't have a hat" (depending upon your education).

True. If one was educated, one would realize (a) it is a verbatim quotation, and (b) "You haven't got", while informal, is valid.




They are both perfectly acceptable. "Don't have" is preferred American English and "haven't got" is preferred British English.

//language nerd
 
2008-05-05 10:43:12 AM
FTFA
"I said, 'Well Pat, can you explain this to me?' 'You've been accused of wizardry,' [he said]. Wizardry?" he asked

That is the funniest thing I have read in months.
 
2008-05-05 10:43:43 AM
Wizardry? So that's such an issue in FL that they actually have regulations against it? Who even knew that was a word?

Are these people transplants from Salem or just Potter and Bewtched haters?
 
2008-05-05 10:47:44 AM
Macular Degenerate
What? No sex involved? I'm calling shenanigans.

I swear to god I'm going to pistol-whip the next guy who says shenanigans
 
2008-05-05 10:51:46 AM
I'd LOVE to get fired for wizardry...

Imagine how kickass that would look on your resume...
I'd hire someone with wizard skills for sure. Make all the moranic drivers holding me up disappear on command. Make women's clothes disappear on command... make my schlong 2feet long on comman... HEY IT WORKED WOOHOO!
 
2008-05-05 11:00:22 AM
Progressor: I didn't expect the Spanish Inqui...

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
 
2008-05-05 11:02:31 AM
Did they toss him in the river to see if he floats? If not, how do they know he's a wizard?
 
2008-05-05 11:05:35 AM
*sigh*

People need to loosen the fark up. Wizardry? Puh-LEEZE.
 
2008-05-05 11:06:05 AM
Mayor Bee: Did they toss him in the river to see if he floats? If not, how do they know he's a wizard?

His portrait was found on the side of a van?
 
2008-05-05 11:14:14 AM
Playing 'hide the toothpick' with students is never a good idea.
 
2008-05-05 11:14:42 AM
Wizardry? Really? You know I could totally handle being fired for being a suspected witch.
 
2008-05-05 11:20:09 AM
morebeer: I swear to god I'm going to pistol-whip the next guy who says shenanigans

Hey Farva what's the name of that restaurant you like with all the goofy shiat on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?

/quote will get filterpwned.
//is it still pwning if you expect it?
 
2008-05-05 11:41:02 AM
morebeer: I swear to god I'm going to pistol-whip the next guy who says shenanigans

I'm calling shenanigans on that statement.

/Sorry, you set yourself up for that one.
 
2008-05-05 11:43:57 AM
Is it too late to give Florida back to Spain?
 
2008-05-05 11:46:01 AM
blubberknife: Is it too late to give Florida back to Spain?

Yes, but we can saw it off and let it drift to Cuba.
 
2008-05-05 11:49:07 AM
"Here ya go Spain... sorry for the mess."
 
2008-05-05 11:50:11 AM
wideangle: They are both perfectly acceptable. "Don't have" is preferred American English and "haven't got" is preferred British English.

Well, yeah. I'm just still boggling at "wizardry" being an accusation/charge in the U.S.

(Is that some weird Florida law or something?)


//language nerd
/ditto
 
2008-05-05 11:52:48 AM
Isn't anyone thinking about the children?

/is the sky falling yet?
 
2008-05-05 12:12:28 PM
Just sue the school district for firing you for your religious beliefs and take the easy way out.
 
2008-05-05 12:27:38 PM
Im a sub myself i do it almost every day and i have got to say that sometiems you will do just about anything to get the kids to listen to you. This is pretty stupid.
 
2008-05-05 12:32:37 PM
Lusiphur: Within 5 years, the only people who will voluntarily become teachers are the pervs.

Where do I sign up?
 
2008-05-05 12:33:01 PM
Why do I want to be a teacher in this state!?
 
2008-05-05 12:38:11 PM
why hasn't he been burned at the stake yet?
 
2008-05-05 12:43:51 PM
adm_crunch: Wizardry?

I see what you did there... and raise you by 8 bits.

www.gamasutra.com

/Currently recording a playthrough on youtube
//God this game is hard
 
2008-05-05 12:44:17 PM
Wizardry? Are you farking kidding me? I've got to get out of this state.
 
2008-05-05 12:50:56 PM
Is toothpick some sort of euphemism?
 
2008-05-05 12:51:45 PM
If wizardry is wrong, I don't want to be right!

Lightning bolt!
Lightning bolt!


/He can only make a toothpick disappear. Farking amateur!
 
2008-05-05 01:15:47 PM
phoenixdna: Why didn't this get the asinine tag?

Location trumps
America hates its kids
 
hej
2008-05-05 01:40:04 PM
phoenixdna: Why didn't this get the asinine tag?

Because it's already implicit with the img1.fark.net tag.
 
hej
2008-05-05 01:41:08 PM
Sarcastica75: blubberknife: Is it too late to give Florida back to Spain?

Yes, but we can saw it off and let it drift to Cuba.


I've spent years daydreaming about trying to do exactly that.

/Seriously
 
2008-05-05 01:47:02 PM
"Wizardy"? A magic trick? I smell a Christian imecile at the heart of this.

I knew a very decent, honorable and intelligent guy who was running for a local office in a small town and he did occasional ventriloquism shows for kids. A couple of the churches in the area called that Satan worship and black magic and he lost by a wide margin.

There is just no excuse for these loons and we need to stop listening to their complaints. Seriously.
 
2008-05-05 02:06:21 PM
If you've got a few months of unemployment or free time, I highly recommend being a substitute teacher for a while.

It will give you years of stories to tell, if you don't end up in prison for farking the hot students, who do EVERYTHING to get into your pants.

/did it for a year
//PLENTY of stories
 
2008-05-05 02:29:51 PM
If Jesus came to Florida and performed a miracle, he would also be called a wizard and burned at the stake.
May be it already happened and we missed the Second Coming? Thanks Florida.
 
2008-05-05 04:31:36 PM
It's a fair cop.
 
2008-05-05 05:03:57 PM
adm_crunch: Wizardry?

Nah.. just do a bit of work-out with Murphy's Ghosts.
 
2008-05-05 05:20:56 PM
wow, maybe the democratic party know what they're doing. i say we amend the constitution to take away any semblance of suffrage from the florida voting public.

//WIZARDRY?!?!?!?! UR SERIOUS?
 
2008-05-05 05:48:47 PM
i211.photobucket.com
 
2008-05-05 08:01:12 PM
I'm late to the thread, but I've got to point out that were he actually fired for practicing "wizardry", he'd have a winning lawsuit on his hands...you know, freedom of religion, blah blah blah.
 
2008-05-05 08:09:08 PM
I had a calculus teacher in high school who one day decided to dress up in a wizard robe and hat and do some bizarre magic tricks using a set of evil-looking containers of colorful liquid. No, really. (He actually used to be a professional magician.) My school's administration is only insane on a good day, but no one seemed to care about that incident.

I guess it's a good thing that happened in California instead of Florida; otherwise he probably would have been chased out of town by a mob wielding pitchforks and torches.

I mean, what? Was this a school for religious fundamentalists or something?
 
2008-05-05 08:42:00 PM
1proudneocon: ...then most of my teachers

...Then most of your teachers what?
 
2008-05-05 10:51:14 PM
MorrisBird: Watch me pull this rabbit out of my hat.

Oops...wrong hat!
 
2008-05-06 09:58:37 AM
Can we please get all the sane people out of Florida, then nuke it from orbit?

Please?
 
2008-05-06 10:00:35 AM
I mean, seriously.

See that date stamp? How the first number is "2008"?

And we're still accusing people of witchcraft?

www.forumammo.com
 
2008-05-06 11:28:38 AM
Kome: This is what happens in a state that's populated with superstitious clods who cling to their Bibles out of fear of education and entertainment.

Barak? Is that you? How long have you been posting on Fark, shouldn't you be out campaigning?
 
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