"mrEdude: SOUNDS LIKED 'SOMEBODY IS DUE FOR A TRIP TO SUB SAHARAN AFRICA
DROPPED NAKED FROM A PLANE WITH A PARACHUTE AND A SWISS ARMY KNIFE"


APPROVES

S_P_I_K_E: atlanta_ufo: 40oz_A_Knight: 1) Unmarried and calls her significant other a "partner" rather than "boyfriend" (heterosexual) or "girlfriend" or "wife" (homosexual)? Check.
2) Works in human resources but claims a fancy title? Check.
3) Buys name brand milk from Target? Check.

This week on You Might Be a Pretentious Coont...

And pregnant with her second child. So even if food and gas remained the same price, how could afford to eat organic with a second child.

Easy. Eat the second child.

Spike

Hmm. That sounds like a very modest proposal.

She could supplement the families diet with her huge hooter milky goodness.

So, if the complaint is that you can't afford to feed your family at all? Man, that sucks.

But if your complaint is that you can't feed your family the way you want to feed them? Yeah... shut up.

damiangerous said: How far apart are the stores where you live? Seriously? How is this a legitimate point? Where I live now two grocery stores are across the street from one another and a third is about 3 tenths of a mile down the road. Even when I lived in a more rural area we still had the store in town and the store a few miles away in the next town. I suppose if you live somewhere with 20 miles between stores that might be relevant, but that's not most of us.

Even if the stores are within a relatively close geographical distance, she's probably sitting in traffic, burning up gas while the engine is idling, so she's wasting fuel in that respect, and on unecessary trips.

I guess what struck me the most is that she would biatch-and-moan about spending her precious, precious time on clipping coupons and worry about saving thirty cents on a gallon of milk, but never had a problem wasting that time running all over town or spending that money in fuel to make extra trips to do other errands.

if you live in the Minneapolis mn area check out fare for all.org. It is run by the local food bank but you can buy food from them 3 times a month. I buy a regular pack every few weeks. about 8 to 10 lb frozen meat and 5-6 lb fresh veggies and fruit and usually a bread or other staple item all about 40 % less than the regular prices at grocery store.They also sell other packages such as veggie only and meat only for cheap. It helps when there haven't been any great sales. By using this program I cut my spending in the grocery stores down to milk eggs and loss leader items with coupon purchases and I only buy what we absolutely will use. I save about $300 a month because I don't impulse buy junk food and other stuff anymore. Other areas/ cities have similar buying programs most are with food banks or church groups. I've been doing this for about a year just 'cause I am cheapskate.
I laugh when I read these articles. I have spendthrift friends asking for my secrets/the same ones who thought my hubby and I were too cheap because we didn't want to waste a couple hundred on a dinner out with them at an overpriced trendy restaurant last year.
we donate some of our savings back to the food bank too

I gather that this woman has never been on food stamps; EBT. Poor her, omg she can't afford organic food. Awwwwwwwwwww :P

dirtyfarker
"I'm about to start cannibalizing my neighbors and she's upset that she can't buy the organic milk produced by free-range cows who get 4 hours of therapy every week."

first time I have ever actully choked on food while reading fark-Bravo!!

Bin_jammin-
"Ok, I found them. Took forever to find a single mother eating rice and beans, but now I've got two really confused people standing around..."


You win the fark scavenger hunt!!!!
please enjoy your reward of one internets!!!

We do shop at Whole Foods and the like. It's nice. However, I remember when I made myself ill from eating pretty much only Ramen noodles for two weeks straight, since they were the only food I could afford at the time (it was food or rent- rent won). Thus, I appreciate the hell out of what we have now. This gal needs some freaking perspective, and the newspaper needs to find some real freaking news.

/Teriyaki chicken flavor FTW!
//10 packs for $1.00!

rindeee: For anyone facing starvation like our friend in the article:

First, you can pretty much live off of beans and rice. Plenty of carbs and protein and it's darn tasty. I recommend brown rice (much healthier), but if you're a food sissy, white will do. Throw in some bananas (one a day) and some canned salmon (very healthy, lacks the mercury that is common in tuna) and some milk and you're eating on about $12 a week. Like breakfast food; a dollar's worth of the off brand oatmeal will feed a family for a week. Seriously. Have more mouths to feed, up the beans/rice...they go a LONG way. A bucks worth of beans and rice will feed a kid for days. The bottom line is that what we consider "poor people food" is actually quite healthy and way above what most people in non-western nations could ever hope for. On top of that, your fat arse will lose some weight. Now, put on your backpack and ride your bike or walk to the store.

Mexican diet

Food is so cheap in this country. In the 50's we spend 1/5 of our income on food. Today, the average family spends 1/10 of their income on food.

//just buy food that doesnt come in boxes and you'll do fine.

Ricin is organic. Can we feed it to her?

I hate Chevy: PolloDiablo: I can't hold it against the woman in the article for being a bit forlorn about having to change her eating and shopping habits, the current economic climate effects people from all walks of life differently and her sacrifices (however miniscule) are unique to her situation; I do however have a problem with the Washington Post choosing to focus this article on a family such as hers when there are plenty of families that are NOT GAY and concerned not with whether or not they can buy organic milk, but whether or not they can afford to feed their children at all and still donate their money to the GLBTG society

I know it's the gay thing you really have a problem with. I saw right thru you.

Yes, I was sure there would be a post here by Pocket Ninja. Thanks for pointing that out!

SusanIvanova: BravadoGT: It's almost as if you have to be smug AND wealthy to live an organic, "green" lifestyle...

Whole Foods doesn't deserve it's uber-pricy reputation. They do sell a lot of very expensive items, it's true, but if you do a apples-to-apples comparison to the local Cala for staple items, it's almost exactly the same price (at least it is around here). Butter, milk, most cuts of meat, most fresh or frozen produce, bread, whatever -- exceptions being fish and prepared foods. The el cheapo "365 Organic" brand they spam all over the store often costs a bit less expensive than the equivalent at a normal market, and is usually significantly better-tasting.

Now, it is more expensive that Costco and places like that. But compared to other standalone retail supermarkets, it's not out of line with the price at all.

I shop there regularly. WHy? They always have plum tomatoes. THats it.

what_now:
Hell, go find a college kid who works 30 hrs a week and is going to school full time!



Hey, that's me! AND I eat beans and rice... but I'm not a single mom.

/$20 a week on food.
//Not counting beer. That's what the second job is for.

ElMariachi: The Ravaging Ungulate: Thank you, what_now!

what_now: AGHHH!!!
You want to talk about hardship? Go find a family of four with a $60,000 income that can't afford to put gas in the car to get to work.

Go find a single mother who's eating rice and beans! Hell, go find a college kid who works 30 hrs a week and is going to school full time!

Don't write She's even begun sending herself reminders on her BlackBerry so she doesn't forget a case of water on sale at CVS or the twice-monthly sale on milk at Kroger:

OH NOES!! I HAVE TO BUY THE CHEAP WATER BECAUSE I'M STILL NOT POOR ENOUGH TO DRINK OUT OF THE TAP!!!!

Mine is a family of 11 on a $60,000 income. We are scrimping to pay for gas. I drive a hulking vehicle that we ONLY drive to church and to get groceries and occasionally I take the kids out to a park to get out of the neighborhood for a change of scenery.

I'm in college.

Coupons are a joke-- you seldom get products for less; you pay less for more expensive brands. We started fasting during Lent and just never stopped. We have salsa with them beans and rice for variation!

There's part of your problem right there.

USE A FARKING RUBBER!

This this thissity THIS!

Don't breed more than you can afford.

/3 kids.
// Can buy food and gas.
///Not rocket science

40 hours a week of work and full time college student. I do not spend money. I save 500 a month. Live on my own. I wont buy shoes until the old ones fall off my feet. The girlfriend and I shared a value meal the other night cause I had a good day at work.

Not because we cannot afford more, we want to save now so we have a lot of savings to retire someday. I want to be able to be comfortable all the time. Its a lesson everyone needs. I am frugal and proud of it.

Our big old chest freezer was always full to the gills with half a beef (my grandmother went in on a whole beef with one of my uncles)

Growing up we never had half a beef. Though half a cow wasn't uncommon. We had a walk-in freezer in the barn that was always full of pigs, a cow, and deer. The lake behind the pastures had fish, the fields had oats, corn, and wheat, and the gardens kept the basement pantry full of canned goods. We wore hand-me-downs from our older cousins and each other, my mother sewed the rest of our clothes. I didn't realize until I grew up and moved to the city that we were considered poor back then.

I now realize that we were far richer than the average millionaire today. How many of you know how to shoot, dress, and cook a deer? Can fruit and veggies? Harvest, flail, and grind grains? Sew? Darn a sock?

Jesus H. Christ! Now she has to do what I've been doing for the last 20 years. She just needs a beat down to finish it off. Oh, and here's another handy tip - get your water from the tap. Assholes.

When I was a kid we would take in a hog to the locker, and trade half a hog for a quarter cow. We would eat frozen beef and pork for the rest of the year. My dad was always pissed because my mom made him pick the best hog he had for us, while his dad always picked the lame hog that wouldn't be sold for as much.

My parents raised 3 kids on a poor hog farm. In the early 90's my mom let it slip that they had just given themselves a raise because the farm was doing so well. They paid themselves 850 per month. That's 10 grand per year, because they were doing "well". Of course, the house was paid for, the car had been paid for in cash in 1979 when my dad worked in a factory before farming, and the farm business account paid the phone, so there were less expenses. But try having a family of 5 on less than 10,000. Yeah, that's like 15,000 in today's money, but still. I knew we didn't have that much money, but I didn't realize how we would be considered poor.

We were so poor that our relatives that got government assistance would take the cheese they got, freeze it and give it to us. We weren't eligible for assistance because of the farm, plus my dad wouldn't take any damn government handouts or welfare anyway. We got our poor relatives' cheese because they thought, "damn, you guys are poor". I hated government cheese, since it was granular and nasty from being frozen.

When I moved out, and went to grad school, the 20 grand per year we got as a stipend (still had to pay tuition for a while) felt rich. I couldn't believe that all that money was for me. I felt I had struck the jackpot with 20 grand per year. Now that I'm getting ready to graduate, the money I'll be making seems obscene. My girlfriend is totally into thrifty living. We are planning on living on about $25,000 or so and saving the rest, especially in a year or two after we replace stuff that's worn out that we have put off replacing.

I wish more folks had the experience of actually being poor, cleaning a barn, spreading manure. The heck with mandatory military service. There should be mandatory poor farm living for all high school graduates.

FTA:

+1 to Mr and Mrs Balzer for naming their son Harry Balzer.

/you know...hairy...ball...z

Bathia_Mapes: Exactly. My grandmother bought some of our clothes, but others she made using her trusty Singer sewing machine. Flannel nightgowns for winter, seersucker nightgowns for summer, blouses, skirts. etc. When my sister & I were younger, we lived on our grandparents farm with milk cows, pigs/hogs & chickens. My first pet ever was a heifer calf. I learned from an early age to feed the chickens, milk a cow, slop the pigs & kill & prepare a chicken for Sunday dinner.

Yep! I then inherited that awesome Singer, and it still sews all my costuming just fine. (it's no match for my mom's new computerized sewing machine that she can program to stitch ANYTHING.) I even still have one of my old flannel nightgowns.

After I moved to the city and went to school, I went on a field trip to a local sheep and goat ranch. I then proceeded to shock everyone in my class when they asked for a volunteer to milk a goat, simply by walking up to the goat and milking it. Even the prof and the guys giving us the tour were amazed.

My second pet was a duck. (my g-ma kept a flock along with our chickens) Oddly enough, my first pet was a tree, but that's another thread... lmao.

iammess, I agree. Living and working on a farm where you can't buy food at a grocer's is something a lot of these spoiled biatches could stand to experience. When you know where your food comes from and how it gets from field to plate, because YOU DID IT, you tend to appreciate packaged groceries a HELL OF A LOT more.

syrynxx: 40oz_A_Knight: 1) Unmarried and calls her significant other a "partner" rather than "boyfriend" (heterosexual) or "girlfriend" or "wife" (homosexual)? Check.

"Partner" == "Gay Lover"; either gender. Because someone who pays a premium on organic organic material is someone in self-denial, and not referring to one's gay lover as their 'gay lover' is the ultimate self denial. I had a girl I had sex with for a few years; I never referred to her as my 'partner'. 'Girlfriend/Boyfriend", "Fiancee/Fiance", "Wife/Husband" are the terms straight people use. "Partner" means "Someone fat, ugly, and the same gender as I am. P.S. I'm also fat and ugly."

BULLshiat. I refer to my sweetie as my partner. I am very female, he is very male. We don't believe in marriage, and we are way beyond bf/gf. What the hell else should I call him? I think he'd be offended by "my biatch" or something. Referring to your significant other as your partner does not equate gay. Grow the fark up.

syrynxx: 40oz_A_Knight: 1) Unmarried and calls her significant other a "partner" rather than "boyfriend" (heterosexual) or "girlfriend" or "wife" (homosexual)? Check.

"Partner" == "Gay Lover"; either gender. Because someone who pays a premium on organic organic material is someone in self-denial, and not referring to one's gay lover as their 'gay lover' is the ultimate self denial. I had a girl I had sex with for a few years; I never referred to her as my 'partner'. 'Girlfriend/Boyfriend", "Fiancee/Fiance", "Wife/Husband" are the terms straight people use. "Partner" means "Someone fat, ugly, and the same gender as I am. P.S. I'm also fat and ugly."

yeah but your gay so you know your welcome here... and will get asked for pictures in 3...2...1..

Sio: What the hell else should I call him? I think he'd be offended by "my biatch" or something. .

That would be awesome. Except, don't call him the actual word, call him what the Fark filter changed it to . And make it all Flava Flav - style stretched out so it turns into B-yatch.

/somehow I found that comment above very funny, like in a sitcom where the mom called the father B-yatch instead of "Dear".

dang, I screwed up the quote italics. No more interwebs for me tonight.

Um, yanno...

I admit I fly solo, all summer, but... I mean...

Just grab some m0o juice, them frozen waffles are pretty cheap and tasty, use margarine, instead of butter. Tap water is usually okey doke, put some in a bottle in the fridge, sausage ain't an arm and a leg, hot dogs are good if you smother them in mustard, PB&J, jellytoast, hell, I ate a lot of mayo sandwiches when I was a kid and I have the constitution of a bullm0ose.

He's a kid, not a petri dish. Cut the shiat, cut the cord and cut the budget with what we poor folks call "groceries" or just, you know, piss and moan to somebody else.

iammess:
That would be awesome. Except, don't call him the actual word, call him what the Fark filter changed it to . And make it all Flava Flav - style stretched out so it turns into B-yatch.

/somehow I found that comment above very funny, like in a sitcom where the mom called the father B-yatch instead of "Dear".

LMAO! I think I'll do that... we both get a kick out of Flava Flav, he's prolly gonna LHAO too.

And no more interwebs. Go to bed. LOL! (I use the little quote button that appeared a while back, fills in the HTML for me so I don't have to deal with it.)

Reason to eat at home

1: Solid hearty food.
2: Quality ingredients
3: Multiple time cheaper.
4: Food cooked just the way like it.

Last but not least

5: No more crappy service.

Bonus: Often times a made quicker than driving and eating out.

Second Child. You can't afford to feed your current family the way you want, and you're going to create a new life that will make it even harder. I don't understand people.

flashfry: what_now: You want to talk about hardship? Go find a family of four with a $60,000 income that can't afford to put gas in the car to get to work.

I am so confused by this and other such stories. Don't people typically sock away some cash for stuff like this? Before I even let myself have 1 kid I had 10k saved up. And I thought I was pushing it. I stil ldon't think I have enough saved up for two kids.

I mean, life is expensive these days, don't get me wrong. I am contributing significantly less to my savings than I would like, and may even get to a point soon where I am actually depleting savings.... but people who can't afford gas.... what are they thinking living so close to the edge? If I am that close to the edge I don't have another kid or even the first and I certainly get a second job until I am a bit further from the edge especially with a kid or two.

Drastic, unusual illness situations to the side of course (but even those can often be accomodated by city/county/state/federal assistance) people in such dire straits confound me.

Hi!
I'm a disabled vet. Up until 2002 I was a Computer Guru, mainly dealing with wide area networking and security issues. I own my house outright, paid it off in less than 4 years during the boom. I haven't been able to work since 02 due to complications from injuries I got in the Navy, plus I fell off a cliff and sort of broke myself. My savings are long gone, dealing with various emergencies. I drive a 10 year old jeep, but just had to help buy my ex a car because she's worse off than I am and takes care of my godson. I also have 2 teenagers. No credit cards, me nor my kids wear expensive clothes (well, grandma does spoil them on occasion), I cook everything instead of buying pre-made stuff. I don't waste money, except for making sure my kids have some of the things it appears a kid has to have these days. So, even though I have VA disability and SSDI, own my house and 1 of my 2 vehicles, I'm in serious financial trouble. The end of the month comes around I'm definitely not thinking of socking away the money I didn't spend that month, I'm trying to figure out a way to make sure I have enough gas to make it to town if a emergency comes up, and looking with dread at rising prices. and I get "free money" each month that is equivalent to a full time minimum wage job, Tax free, without a lot of the payments that most people are burdened with. Things change. If you in your wisdom have some sort of magic solution, I'd be happy to hear it.

She works for the government. Enough said.

"a government human resources specialist" -- explains it all. The biatch just takes up space...

Not to mention all the money her and her partner are spending on artificial insemination.

I wonder if she prefers organic fur burger.

Bin_jammin: I've been a mechanic for 15 years. I've never worked at a Jiffy Lube or anywhere like it. Change your oil every 3k

Sorry but I call b/s - no-one and I mean no-one changes the oil in their car anywhere near 3k miles in Europe. More like 10-12k. Guess what? Car engines there seem to last just as long as here in the U.S.

/oh, and coont from TFA can DIAF

What a bunch of douchebags you guys (at least the ones at the start of this thread) are.

It's a story meant to appeal to the average Joe. In this country that means a middle-income person (by definition). So the vast majority of readers will identify with this person's story, not some story about a person they consider to be below them financially.

To quote a great woman, "Did IQs just suddenly drop while I was away?!"

/yes I was away

Close2TheEdge: I'll bet half the FARKers posting to this thread wouldn't think twice about shelling out $50+ for GTA IV. But because some of us choose to pay a little more for milk without BgH and lots of growth hormone shiat in it, that makes us morons?

//Sounds like you are the one with farked up priorities.

No, what makes you a moron is thinking that switching what kind of milk you drink is having any effect on the amount of toxins in your body. If you are an American you are living in a soup of toxicity all day long...breathing it, eating it, shiatting it. The benefits of your special milk are all in your head. Hippy.

paganized

Up until 2002 I was a Computer Guru, mainly dealing with wide area networking and security issues.
...
I haven't been able to work since 02 due to complications from injuries I got in the Navy
...
I drive a 10 year old jeep


Dumb question, and please don't take it the wrong way: how can you be able to drive and still be unable to perform computer work?

You would have a large gap in your resume, but have you looked at tech consulting? Depending on the role, a fair amount of that sort of work can be done remotely.

We do not approve.