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(AP)   CBS News employee who was held hostage for two months is glad that he wasn't being "mortarboarded" in Guantanamo. He didn't seem to be worried about being "gowned" or "diplomaed" in Gitmo   (hosted.ap.org) divider line 224
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8283 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 May 2008 at 7:00 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-05-01 12:07:07 AM  
Was he a rather fat fellow? Could he have been motorboated instead?
 
2008-05-01 12:13:01 AM  
At least he wasn't sugarcoated!
 
2008-05-01 12:41:20 AM  
Dear God! He could have been matriculated!
 
2008-05-01 12:52:52 AM  
Freaking Diplomates, thinking they can do whatever they want.
i271.photobucket.com
 
2008-05-01 01:33:10 AM  
I got mortarboarded. It was no fun at all. Plus, they didn't even let me keep the hat, just the tassel-thingys.
 
2008-05-01 02:26:03 AM  
While he was held, he heard a lot of ... Hezbollah ringtones on mobile phones

So he was Motorolaboarded?
 
2008-05-01 02:38:42 AM  
All in all it's just another brick in the Wall
 
2008-05-01 03:10:55 AM  
Bill_Wick's_Friend: So he was Motorolaboarded?

Bravo, good sir.
 
2008-05-01 07:02:14 AM  
Maybe he would have preferred a Boston Steamer?
 
2008-05-01 07:04:08 AM  
He works for CBS, right? Wouldn't he have been more afraid of being reporterboarded?
 
2008-05-01 07:04:43 AM  
Roasted like a fag over a roaring fire.

/Tom Brown's Schooldays
//No, not that kind of fag
 
2008-05-01 07:05:11 AM  
tfa: sealed into a small room between two walls

Shooooooot...I'm in one of those kind of rooms too!
 
2008-05-01 07:06:19 AM  
"I am standing there, in front of these eight guys with AK-47s, and I am in a pair of underpants and a T-shirt. The odds are not in my favor. so there is no point in trying to do anything heroic or stupid."

Especially when you have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.
 
2008-05-01 07:08:32 AM  
At least he wasn't dirtysanchezolated.
 
2008-05-01 07:08:40 AM  
Masterboarded?

/Got nuthin'.
 
2008-05-01 07:09:45 AM  
"The Iraqi army wasn't out specifically looking for him, Butler said. They were looking for an arms cachet."

The Iraqi army only search for the finest weapons.
 
2008-05-01 07:13:57 AM  
While he was held, he heard a lot of Hezbollah propaganda video and Hezbollah ringtones on mobile phones, but he can't be sure his captors were affiliated with the organization.

Besides "mortarboarded" and an "arms cachet", what the heck is a Hezbollah ringtone?!? What other cellphone services do they offer?

"To get your personal picture of 72 hot virgins, text '72virg' to . . . "
 
2008-05-01 07:15:18 AM  
"...he heard a lot of Hezbollah propaganda video and Hezbollah ringtones on mobile phones..."

What in the wide, wide world of sports are "Hezbolla ringtones"??????
 
2008-05-01 07:19:07 AM  
At least he didn't shiat his pants when a gun was put to his back, which is better that what most of the FARKers here would do.

/Jeez, give the guy a break.
 
2008-05-01 07:19:39 AM  
Last night I was motorboated.
 
2008-05-01 07:21:06 AM  
At least they let him keep his head.
 
2008-05-01 07:21:10 AM  
Anagrammer
Besides "mortarboarded" and an "arms cachet", what the heck is a Hezbollah ringtone?!?

"Jihad!! Jihad!! Boom Boom!!"?
 
2008-05-01 07:21:41 AM  
I heard they used psychological torture on him, they played pomp and circumstance on an endless loop!
 
2008-05-01 07:22:18 AM  
Butler said he felt it was better to be kidnapped in Iraq then[sic] taken into custody by Americans in Afghanistan.

"I was pleased I wasn't being mortarboarded[sic] in Guantanamo or being held for six and a half years like an Al-Jazeera cameraman, for instance," he said.


Please send this ass bag back. How did he know the ring tones were Hezbollah ring tones? What the fark is a Hezbollah ring tone?
 
2008-05-01 07:22:39 AM  
neither we nor his captors would provide him with due process, but i think we feed our detainees more than a tangerine and four eggs.
 
2008-05-01 07:24:29 AM  
Portscanner: What in the wide, wide world of sports are "Hezbolla ringtones"??????

Clicking this link may get you registered on the Homeland security watch list and may cause teh lols.
 
2008-05-01 07:26:11 AM  
FnckYon: tfa: sealed into a small room between two walls

Shooooooot...I'm in one of those kind of rooms too!


Yeah, I noticed that too. I think that if there are only two walls, escape shouldn't be too difficult. One less wall and he'd be on stage.
 
2008-05-01 07:27:07 AM  

"I was pleased I wasn't being mortarboarded[sic] in Guantanamo or being held for six and a half years like an Al-Jazeera cameraman, for instance," he said.


This guy has some really twisted priorities. "Well, I was just held captive, but I'll go ahead and do some America bashing while I'm in the limelight."

Daniel Pearl wasn't held at Guantanimo either, you asshat. Do you think he is grateful?
 
2008-05-01 07:27:12 AM  
1. mortarboarded... wtf?

2. returned to his home in france.

/surrender
 
2008-05-01 07:27:37 AM  
"12 days of his captivity, ate one tangerine and four boiled eggs."

*HONK*
Make that three hard boiled eggs.

/and a duck egg.
//Are Hezbollah ringtones just as annoying as 50 Cent ones?
 
2008-05-01 07:29:59 AM  
csi_yellowknife: Are Hezbollah ringtones just as annoying as 50 Cent ones?

Doubtful.
 
2008-05-01 07:30:47 AM  
ElwoodPDowd: "I was pleased I wasn't being mortarboarded[sic] in Guantanamo or being held for six and a half years like an Al-Jazeera cameraman, for instance," he said.

This guy has some really twisted priorities. "Well, I was just held captive, but I'll go ahead and do some America bashing while I'm in the limelight."

Daniel Pearl wasn't held at Guantanimo either, you asshat. Do you think he is grateful?


sure....he'll never have to wash his hair or clean his ears again.
 
2008-05-01 07:35:17 AM  
csi_yellowknife: "12 days of his captivity, ate one tangerine and four boiled eggs."

*HONK*
Make that three hard boiled eggs.




First thread I check this morning, and someone quotes the Marx Brothers.

What a great way to start the morning.

/Mean that in a serious, non-sarcastic way.
 
2008-05-01 07:37:46 AM  
1) Divide the number of Al Quaida dead as a result of waterboarding by the number of Americans who have survived decapitation.

2) Take the result and shove it up your misguided liberal ass!
 
2008-05-01 07:42:38 AM  
Hammerjoe: thank you. that was more vulgar than I would have gone for, but the message is the same. And the reporter is an asshole, for what he was TRYING to say and was too stupid to blurt out. fark the MSM, eternally. They are useless propagandists who hate their own countries and admire the people who would kill their families and friends if they could.

Did he have ANY words of thanks for his rescuers, or did he just spend his 15 minutes trying to insult the US and making an ass of himself?
 
2008-05-01 07:44:09 AM  
HAMMERTOE: 1) Divide the number of Al Quaida dead as a result of waterboarding by the number of Americans who have survived decapitation.

2) Take the result and shove it up your misguided liberal ass!


I'm basically loving that response - thanks!
 
2008-05-01 07:44:43 AM  
HAMMERTOE:

And once we become like them, who gives a shiat who wins?

.
 
2008-05-01 07:45:02 AM  
csi_yellowknife: Are Hezbollah ringtones just as annoying as 50 Cent ones?

In da Madrasa?

/Go bomby, it's your birthday
 
2008-05-01 07:46:06 AM  
he could have been masticated... ok, that would suck.
 
2008-05-01 07:47:40 AM  
As previously stated, at least he wasn't motorboated. That could've been ugly...
 
2008-05-01 07:48:29 AM  
Here it is in simple language for any America-hating torture apologists you meet:

We don't do torture because we are better than them. The fact that we're better than them is how we have the moral authority to call a brutal dictator a brutal dictator.

Take away that moral authority, and you have two depraved convicts fighting in prison. No one cares which one wins, because there's no difference between the two; they are both repugnant.

If we find someone guilty of a crime through due process of the law (another feature that makes us better than them), we can punish them up to and including putting them to death.

The people tortured by us, which was a practice permitted by the worst and most un-American president in history, had not had due process under the law.

This is our national shame. Shame on anyone for supporting it. If you do, should be stripped of your citizenship and deported to North Korea, where they approve of such things.

If you hate America so much, you really should consider leaving.

.
 
2008-05-01 07:49:11 AM  
portscanner: "...he heard a lot of Hezbollah propaganda video and Hezbollah ringtones on mobile phones..."

What in the wide, wide world of sports are "Hezbolla ringtones"??????


"Click, click, BOOM!" by SALIVA
 
2008-05-01 07:52:24 AM  
DistendedPendulusFrenulum:

If you hate America so much, you really should consider leaving.



HAMMERTOE Doesn't hate America. He just wishes we could be a little more like Hezbollah.
 
2008-05-01 07:53:05 AM  
we're imprisoning journalists in Gitmo and the only thing we're concerned with is a gaffe?



*weeps for this country*
 
2008-05-01 07:53:59 AM  
DistendedPendulusFrenulum: Here it is in simple language for any America-hating torture apologists you meet:

We don't do torture because we are better than them. The fact that we're better than them is how we have the moral authority to call a brutal dictator a brutal dictator.

Take away that moral authority, and you have two depraved convicts fighting in prison. No one cares which one wins, because there's no difference between the two; they are both repugnant.

If we find someone guilty of a crime through due process of the law (another feature that makes us better than them), we can punish them up to and including putting them to death.

The people tortured by us, which was a practice permitted by the worst and most un-American president in history, had not had due process under the law.

This is our national shame. Shame on anyone for supporting it. If you do, should be stripped of your citizenship and deported to North Korea, where they approve of such things.

If you hate America so much, you really should consider leaving.

.


Don't forget to wipe. And flush.
 
2008-05-01 07:56:59 AM  
No Catchy Nickname: Anagrammer
Besides "mortarboarded" and an "arms cachet", what the heck is a Hezbollah ringtone?!?

"Jihad!! Jihad!! Boom Boom!!"?


Ring ring ring ring ring...ISLOAMOPHONE!
/Islamophoneaphobia has got to stop
 
2008-05-01 07:59:54 AM  
frangelico_y_flamingo: "The Iraqi army wasn't out specifically looking for him, Butler said. They were looking for an arms cachet."

The Iraqi army only search for the finest weapons.


I came here to say that. People always incorrectly pronounce that word CASH-AY, but this idiot actually spells it wrong as well.
 
2008-05-01 08:00:52 AM  
Milo Minderbinder: frangelico_y_flamingo: "The Iraqi army wasn't out specifically looking for him, Butler said. They were looking for an arms cachet."

The Iraqi army only search for the finest weapons.

I came here to say that. People always incorrectly pronounce that word CASH-AY, but this idiot actually spells it wrong as well.


Sigh. Spells it wrongLY.
 
2008-05-01 08:01:25 AM  
DistendedPendulusFrenulum: HAMMERTOE:

And once we become like them, who gives a shiat who wins?

.


Define "Like." We interrogate people with torture? Is that all Hezbollah does? Is that the worst? Is Water boarding even what they do?

No. They use pencils and paper, too. So do we. The terrorists win.
 
2008-05-01 08:02:10 AM  
Sorry for my vulgarity. It just really burns me up that our media makes a big deal about the possibility that some LIVING scumbag might possibly have been inconvenienced or degraded, while another human being has everything taken from them by the scumbag's masked, hooded compatriots. And the media couldn't care less, unless it's one of their own.
 
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