Always look on the bright side of death.

I was surprised Dale Earnhardt's wasn't covered with Skol stickers.

I thought they meant bumper stickers, like "My kid is an honor roll student at Millard Fillmore Middle School, except when he's crying his eyes out over the unfortunate loss of me, his father."

I really, really like the idea of a personalized casket.

But can they do me one in Tie dye?

So, when Cher dies, is she going to have the schedule for her next farewell tours printed on the casket?

I wouldn't mind my coffin insulting my family and friends after I'm gone.

I can just sense the religious-icon-hawkers jumping on this technological bandwagon. Tarty Blessed Virgin and Gaping Chest Wound Christ in 3...2...1...

I want one decorated in rainbow bubbles like the car from the Muppets movie.

LIVESTRONG

This is why we don't let 14 yr girls run Funeral Parlors. I'll be damned if I'm buried in a casket covered in unicorn and rainbow stickers.

Wow... even in death we find even better ways to violate the environment.

Actually though, reminded me of this guy- Willie the Wimp (not the SRV song, the real guy- it happened really.)

Photoshop Contest?

Arthur Jumbles: Actually, I have to disagree with subby. Although I'm planning on donating most of my organs and having whatever is left cremated I think the idea of a bright yellow coffin is kinda neat.

So you want to be buried in a bannana?

taubin: Rock on!!!!

dammit

It did beg the question... how long does the body have to be cold in the ground before you crack the first beer?

/fixed for the Irish

unyon: Then we had a picnic while the backhoe filled her in.

That has got to be the oddest sentence I've ever read on fark.

In my funeral there won't be a casket. What I'll do is on the first full moon after my death, I will be cremated. There will be the sad memorial service, where either my video or hologram will be played. My ashes will the divided into four equal parts (give or take, measure by weight) and given to two men, and two women. After the memorial service, one will cast my remains into the water. One will cast my remains into the fire. One will cast my remains into the air (windy day, out of an airplane, however they can do it), and one will spread out the last quarter upon the earth. On the next full moon, it will be a party celebrating my existance. Both the memorial and the celebration will be held in the forest, and at the celebration, a hole will be dug, my necklace used for my ceremonies and practices of my 'religion' will be placed into that hole, and a tree will be planted into that hole.

Speaking of stupid stickers... I saw a girl driving a Taurus the other day with every bumper sticker you could think of. "Hillary '08", "I'm gay and proud", "God=Imaginary Friend". It took every ounce of my self-control not to rear-end her.

Great Janitor: In my funeral there won't be a casket. What I'll do is on the first full moon after my death, I will be cremated. There will be the sad memorial service, where either my video or hologram will be played. My ashes will the divided into four equal parts (give or take, measure by weight) and given to two men, and two women. After the memorial service, one will cast my remains into the water. One will cast my remains into the fire. One will cast my remains into the air (windy day, out of an airplane, however they can do it), and one will spread out the last quarter upon the earth. On the next full moon, it will be a party celebrating my existance. Both the memorial and the celebration will be held in the forest, and at the celebration, a hole will be dug, my necklace used for my ceremonies and practices of my 'religion' will be placed into that hole, and a tree will be planted into that hole.

That seems like a lot of farkin' work to put your friends and family through. Yeesh.

Great Janitor: In my funeral there won't be a casket. What I'll do is on the first full moon after my death, I will be cremated. There will be the sad memorial service, where either my video or hologram will be played. My ashes will the divided into four equal parts (give or take, measure by weight) and given to two men, and two women. After the memorial service, one will cast my remains into the water. One will cast my remains into the fire. One will cast my remains into the air (windy day, out of an airplane, however they can do it), and one will spread out the last quarter upon the earth. On the next full moon, it will be a party celebrating my existance. Both the memorial and the celebration will be held in the forest, and at the celebration, a hole will be dug, my necklace used for my ceremonies and practices of my 'religion' will be placed into that hole, and a tree will be planted into that hole.

*snicker*

I want my coffin sticker to be one of me screaming and trying to claw my way out.

How shocking modern and disrespectful!

Is it just me, or is this one kinda' ghey?

My ashes along with a 2 or three cigarettes will be placed into a half full jack daniles bottle and tossed into the pacific from a Coast Guard cutter.

I've heard that McDonald's is going to sponsor the funerals of obese people:



and for the morbidly obese, you can cut them up into TWO coffins, for twice the advertising space!

My best friend said that he wants his coffin to look like Han Solo's frozen carbonite 'coffin' from 'Empire Strikes Back' and 'Return of the Jedi'. That or a torpedo tube casing like they use for the dead on 'Star Trek'.

Flashbulb: Is it just me, or is this one kinda' ghey

It's actually kinda hamish.

I disagree.

I think it's cool.

-1 Subby.

Here's what I'd want when I die.

1.- place all my usable organs for donation
2.- secretly cremate what's left of me
3.- scatter the ashes on brownie mix and bake it
4.- the brownies shall be served at my funeral. Closed casket, some random stuff to put some weight, the works
5.- the lawyer shall read my will, and add to the last bit: "and he will always be inside of all of us. Our hearts, your bloodstream, and our digestive system, because he asked to be eaten by his friends and family, whom you have willfully done, as there is nothing in the casket.

/ultimate schadenfraude
//ok, so maybe I won't, but that would be cruel

Gyrfalcon: They do understand that the coffin is going to be BURIED UNDERGROUND don't they? And that no one, especially the PERSON INSIDE, won't be seeing it?

No. I bet they NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.

Dumbfark, this is for the mourners, so they don't have to look at something depressing during the service and burial.

Flashbulb: Is it just me, or is this one kinda' ghey?

I just thought it was a teenage girl's coffin. Just read the article, my god, he's going to the afterlife and everyone he's going to meet is going to think that he was gay.

Gyrfalcon: They do understand that the coffin is going to be BURIED UNDERGROUND don't they? And that no one, especially the PERSON INSIDE, won't be seeing it?

Most of the world thinks that they're going to talk to an invisible man in the sky.

Pick your battles.

how about an all-jello coffin? but please, no snackers.

/jello shots to be served afterwards
//lime of course

I haven't gotten around to actually writing out my will yet, but my intention is to have a length essay read on the irrationality of religion. My goal is to offend each and every person that attends. Harsh insults will be directed towards people that think I'm off to a better place or the like. There will also be a drinking game with free shots/beer/wine coolers with rules posted very large at the entrance.

Sadly, I can't finance this yet so there's no point in me writing it all down.

Jack Diesal

Which is perfect for the ecosystem because it's got what plants need, it's got electrolytes.

SharkUW: I haven't gotten around to actually writing out my will yet, but my intention is to have a length essay read on the irrationality of religion. My goal is to offend each and every person that attends. Harsh insults will be directed towards people that think I'm off to a better place or the like. There will also be a drinking game with free shots/beer/wine coolers with rules posted very large at the entrance.

You had me until the wine cooler part.

SharkUW: I haven't gotten around to actually writing out my will yet, but my intention is to have a length essay read on the irrationality of religion. My goal is to offend each and every person that attends. Harsh insults will be directed towards people that think I'm off to a better place or the like. There will also be a drinking game with free shots/beer/wine coolers with rules posted very large at the entrance.

Sadly, I can't finance this yet so there's no point in me writing it all down.

Problem is, the lawyer has to inform your closest relatives about the will, and if they don't agree with what you wrote, they will change it, possibly to the exact opposite.

CygnusDarius: SharkUW: I haven't gotten around to actually writing out my will yet, but my intention is to have a length essay read on the irrationality of religion. My goal is to offend each and every person that attends. Harsh insults will be directed towards people that think I'm off to a better place or the like. There will also be a drinking game with free shots/beer/wine coolers with rules posted very large at the entrance.

Sadly, I can't finance this yet so there's no point in me writing it all down.

Problem is, the lawyer has to inform your closest relatives about the will, and if they don't agree with what you wrote, they will change it, possibly to the exact opposite.

Solution, video Will, or DVD Will, or Blu-Ray will, or holographic Will (if you live long enough)

/I don't recommend having the Wheaton version of a Will, yeah it will save the ship, but annoy everyone for 4 years.

Great Janitor: /I don't recommend having the Wheaton version of a Will, yeah it will save the ship, but annoy everyone for 4 years.

I lol'd