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(nwa news)   Don Ray Walton, from the Orion star system, says that within the next four years, humans will be offered salvation from representatives of 143,999 alien races   (nwanews.com) divider line 166
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15315 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Apr 2008 at 2:47 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-04-13 03:24:59 PM
I wouldn't mind the anal probes. After all, technically it wouldn't be a homosexual act when it's done with an alien of unknown gender. Right?
 
2008-04-13 03:24:59 PM
Tom Cruise disagrees.
 
2008-04-13 03:25:14 PM
As long as they give me one of these ...

i3.photobucket.com

they can come.
 
2008-04-13 03:26:56 PM
I'm kinda curious about what he's referring to as "The Orion System". I'm pretty sure that what we generally refer to as Orion is a constellation consisting of several stars and nebulae that aren't really particularly close to each other. (except from our pov)

/could be wrong - not an astronomer
 
2008-04-13 03:29:06 PM
RabidFerret knows the tru7h.
 
2008-04-13 03:31:29 PM
This is the voice of Gramaha, the Representative of the Ashtar Galactic Command speaking to you...
 
2008-04-13 03:33:25 PM
Feral John: I'm kinda curious about what he's referring to as "The Orion System". I'm pretty sure that what we generally refer to as Orion is a constellation consisting of several stars and nebulae that aren't really particularly close to each other. (except from our pov)

/could be wrong - not an astronomer


There's a nebula that's referred to as the Orion Nebula, but it's also in the Orion Constellation, and since it was the first one discovered in that constellation, that's where the name comes from. If we found a star system around a star in the Orion Constellation, it WOULD NOT BE CALLED the Orion Star System, it would be named after the star it orbits.

The only way there could be an Orion Star System is if there is a star called Orion (doubtful), or if aliens come down to Earth and tell us that they call their star Orion (even more doubtful).
 
2008-04-13 03:35:08 PM
Feral John: I'm kinda curious about what he's referring to as "The Orion System". I'm pretty sure that what we generally refer to as Orion is a constellation consisting of several stars and nebulae that aren't really particularly close to each other. (except from our pov)

/could be wrong - not an astronomer


You are absolutely correct. But, would you expect anything different from a nutbag making shiat up?
 
2008-04-13 03:35:55 PM
Feral John: I'm kinda curious about what he's referring to as "The Orion System". I'm pretty sure that what we generally refer to as Orion is a constellation consisting of several stars and nebulae that aren't really particularly close to each other. (except from our pov)

/could be wrong - not an astronomer


You are quite right, perhaps we should ask him to point out exactly where they live? (new window)
 
2008-04-13 03:36:29 PM
As long as one of them is Lylmik (new window), I'll feel okay.
 
2008-04-13 03:36:40 PM
t3knomanser: You are absolutely correct. But, would you expect anything different from a nutbag making shiat up?

How do you know their system isn't named Orion? ;)

/Orion went bankrupt years ago
 
2008-04-13 03:36:52 PM
Interrupted Infinitum: Didn't know the Citadel held that many.

Is that a Mass Effect reference I sense?
 
2008-04-13 03:37:15 PM
That's some good quality entertainment.

I wonder if this is the same guy as the Secret Silhouetted Area 51 Guy who talked about the J-Rods and the five feeling good guys. Or maybe he was in the movie 'In Advance of the Landing.'
 
2008-04-13 03:38:09 PM
The ships will only take those that are willing and ready, Walton said. It is up to each person to decide whether to go with the aliens or to stay and be devoured by the black hole.

/yes sure I'll take the black hole pls
//um no
 
2008-04-13 03:38:14 PM
I've been to that town several times as a child, and as an adult. It's weird even for Arkansas (native Arkansan here). That said, the people there are nice and very friendly. Maybe TOO friendly. Like they aren't human or something...

/just kiddin', it's actually a cool little quirky town. Kinda like a circus. I think they put on a lil show to get the tourism in (and probably why the Demozette ran the article, the season is coming).
//chime in Farkansans!
///did I just make a new word?
 
2008-04-13 03:38:31 PM
i273.photobucket.com
 
2008-04-13 03:39:27 PM
I'm from the Pleiades, so I'm really getting a kick out of some of these replies.
 
2008-04-13 03:40:07 PM
Koggie: How do you know their system isn't named Orion? ;)

It's entirely possible that the aliens might call it that, or at least something that can be roughly transliterated into English that way- of course, this is assuming that the aliens communicate using a spoken language.

That strikes me as rather unlikely. Why not DNA replicators? Exchange knowledge encoded into base pairs; certainly that'd be much higher bandwidth. That sort of thing could evolve on a planet with no solid land.

That's my biggest complaint about UFO nuts. Everything is a biped with bilateral symmetry. Like "Star Trek", UFO nutters are all about humans with bad prosthetic makeup.
 
2008-04-13 03:40:47 PM
i193.photobucket.com
Not amused.
 
2008-04-13 03:40:47 PM
You know, this brings an interesting question to mind, if this were actually true, would I go?

/I probably would, but I'd ask if I could get a delay to do some traveling first.
 
2008-04-13 03:41:03 PM
Great Janitor: Feral John: I'm kinda curious about what he's referring to as "The Orion System". I'm pretty sure that what we generally refer to as Orion is a constellation consisting of several stars and nebulae that aren't really particularly close to each other. (except from our pov)

/could be wrong - not an astronomer

There's a nebula that's referred to as the Orion Nebula, but it's also in the Orion Constellation, and since it was the first one discovered in that constellation, that's where the name comes from. If we found a star system around a star in the Orion Constellation, it WOULD NOT BE CALLED the Orion Star System, it would be named after the star it orbits.

The only way there could be an Orion Star System is if there is a star called Orion (doubtful), or if aliens come down to Earth and tell us that they call their star Orion (even more doubtful).


You found some holes in this guy's story?

UNPOSSIBLE!
 
2008-04-13 03:41:58 PM
signine: You know, this brings an interesting question to mind, if this were actually true, would I go?

If this were true (which it almost certainly isn't), I'd go in a heartbeat. I'd ask though, if I could have a doppleganger created that can experience getting devoured by a black hole. Because that'd be cool too.
 
2008-04-13 03:42:25 PM
So we get 143,999 races of aliens. Are some of them good looking females? And do we get to pick who we get to go with? Way too many unanswered questions here.
 
2008-04-13 03:42:34 PM
Weaver95: You remember the stories John use to tell us about the the three chinamen Asian-Americans playing Fantan?

There, fixed it for ya.
 
2008-04-13 03:44:05 PM
You know what, I'm farking sick you smug farking yuppie latte drinking computer nerds calling anyone who disagrees with the official lie "batshiat crazy." First of all. The meme is farking old. get a new one. Secondly, you dumb mother farkers probably don't have a flippin clue about what Martians did to the US administration under Nixon. Whether Don Ray Walkton is right or wrong, I don't have a clue but he is not "batshiat crazy" for thinking this way. His ideas are not completely baseless.
 
2008-04-13 03:44:16 PM
t3knomanser: That's my biggest complaint about UFO nuts. Everything is a biped with bilateral symmetry. Like "Star Trek", UFO nutters are all about humans with bad prosthetic makeup.

At least in TNG they made a half-assed attempt to explain why most alien races (at least the humanoid ones) look just like humans with forehead wrinkles. It's also worth nothing that if many UFO nutjobs are correct, the human race was planted on earth. If that's true, it's perfectly reasonable there was an "origin race" that all known intelligent life in this galaxy evolved from. If that were the case, it would be perfectly reasonable to expect alien races to have similar language structures and physical attributes to humans.

/Wonder if that guy misses his Orion slave girls.
 
2008-04-13 03:44:30 PM
Fine. I'll go with the aliens. But I want that three-breasted Mars hooker from Total Recall to be on board.
 
2008-04-13 03:45:49 PM
t3knomanser: If this were true (which it almost certainly isn't), I'd go in a heartbeat. I'd ask though, if I could have a doppleganger created that can experience getting devoured by a black hole. Because that'd be cool too.

I'm pretty sure the gravometric stress as the solar system approached the black hole would cause the sun to emit all kinds of unhappy radiation, and probably suck the atmosphere right off the earth while slamming the moon into the surface. I doubt you'd make it to the black hole.
 
2008-04-13 03:48:42 PM
img2.freeimagehosting.net
"I'm not 'your' Ion."
 
2008-04-13 03:50:23 PM
signine: I'm pretty sure the gravometric stress as the solar system approached the black hole would cause the sun to emit all kinds of unhappy radiation, and probably suck the atmosphere right off the earth while slamming the moon into the surface.

And that wouldn't be awesome to watch?

signine: It's also worth nothing that if many UFO nutjobs are correct, the human race was planted on earth.

That's even less likely than these Our Ion guys showing up. We've got a long stretch of biological evidence that shows that we're local stock. Now, it's entirely possible that aliens seeded life on Earth, but we're genetically related to all life on Earth. Which means evolution kicked in and determined the final result. If these aliens somehow structured the whole thing so that humans were the end result, then we're no longer talking about human like aliens- we're talking about folks from Trafalmadore, and the only way we're going to understand them is by experiencing a chronosynclastic infundibulum.
 
2008-04-13 03:53:50 PM
malibupetey:

That was a cool link. Thanks.
I wish it would have been interactive.
If there was a way to control it, I couldn't figure it out.
 
2008-04-13 03:54:38 PM
signine: t3knomanser: That's my biggest complaint about UFO nuts. Everything is a biped with bilateral symmetry. Like "Star Trek", UFO nutters are all about humans with bad prosthetic makeup.

At least in TNG they made a half-assed attempt to explain why most alien races (at least the humanoid ones) look just like humans with forehead wrinkles. It's also worth nothing that if many UFO nutjobs are correct, the human race was planted on earth. If that's true, it's perfectly reasonable there was an "origin race" that all known intelligent life in this galaxy evolved from. If that were the case, it would be perfectly reasonable to expect alien races to have similar language structures and physical attributes to humans.

/Wonder if that guy misses his Orion slave girls.


You also have to figure in evolution. Evolution doesn't have a pre-destined form at which it's going to arrive at, it changes based on the needs of it's environment. So, unless alien races evolved on a planet from an ape like form, then due to changes in it's environment, found short arms and long legs in a bipedal form to be better than swinging from tree top to tree top, any alien race can really look like anything, based on how it was forced to evolved by the planet that it evolved on. An alien race planting the seeds of it's kind all over the universe wouldn't produce a bunch of humans, it would, however, have a bunch of alien races with remotely similar DNA.
 
2008-04-13 03:54:53 PM
Oh wow, this guy has a myspace, complete with insane blog.

Link (pops)

Apparently the end of Earth might also come from the "red chinese" and that salvation must be found through Jesus.
 
2008-04-13 03:54:58 PM
darkhorse23: Then I guess we need to get that ship flying so that we can leave a warp signature for the Vulcans to find, so they'll know where to find us

///geeeeeeek


Yeah, but what if instead of a benevolent Species like the Vulcans seeing it its someone like the Klingons.

I for one would like to welcome our new overlords....
 
2008-04-13 03:55:38 PM
Since nobody's going to say it... I'd be 100 times more likely to watch a news broadcast with these guys as the anchors.

upload.wikimedia.org


"Top story today -- buncha motherfarkin' shiat got farked up good in Nasiriyah today..."
 
2008-04-13 03:58:19 PM
t3knomanser: signine: I'm pretty sure the gravometric stress as the solar system approached the black hole would cause the sun to emit all kinds of unhappy radiation, and probably suck the atmosphere right off the earth while slamming the moon into the surface.

And that wouldn't be awesome to watch?

signine: It's also worth nothing that if many UFO nutjobs are correct, the human race was planted on earth.

That's even less likely than these Our Ion guys showing up. We've got a long stretch of biological evidence that shows that we're local stock. Now, it's entirely possible that aliens seeded life on Earth, but we're genetically related to all life on Earth. Which means evolution kicked in and determined the final result. If these aliens somehow structured the whole thing so that humans were the end result, then we're no longer talking about human like aliens- we're talking about folks from Trafalmadore, and the only way we're going to understand them is by experiencing a chronosynclastic infundibulum.


No we don't. Explain the missing link. Or if Homo Sapien is too much, atleast explain the link between flowering and non flowering plant life and the lack of transitional evidence between the two.
 
2008-04-13 03:58:57 PM
Oldiron_79: darkhorse23: Then I guess we need to get that ship flying so that we can leave a warp signature for the Vulcans to find, so they'll know where to find us

///geeeeeeek

Yeah, but what if instead of a benevolent Species like the Vulcans seeing it its someone like the Klingons.

I for one would like to welcome our new overlords....


I would be dead. Not in any kind of resistance fighting, but I'd keep joking by sniffing the air every time one walked in and saying "I smell Lilacs."

/Miles O'Brian, Deep Space Nine, "Trials and Tribble-lations", screwing with Worf.
//From memory, didn't have to look it up first.
///All bow to my level of 'Trek knowledge.
////yes, I have a girlfriend
 
2008-04-13 04:04:23 PM
Great Janitor: You also have to figure in evolution. Evolution doesn't have a pre-destined form at which it's going to arrive at, it changes based on the needs of it's environment. So, unless alien races evolved on a planet from an ape like form, then due to changes in it's environment, found short arms and long legs in a bipedal form to be better than swinging from tree top to tree top, any alien race can really look like anything, based on how it was forced to evolved by the planet that it evolved on. An alien race planting the seeds of it's kind all over the universe wouldn't produce a bunch of humans, it would, however, have a bunch of alien races with remotely similar DNA.

I agree, for the most part. I don't think it's unreasonable to assert that, if intelligent life existed elsewhere in the galaxy (I'm pretty sure it does, but that's another discussion entirely), there are probably a lot of alien races, and it would be fair to assume that those who could function in an earth-like environment would be humanoid in shape. Given a surface gravity of ~1G, oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere, and abundant water, I don't think it's unreasonable at all to postulate that it's likely evolution would take the same path.

The thing that the UFO kids have going for them in these assumptions it that humans are certainly not the only intelligent and social species on this planet. We are the only one that makes heavy use of tools and manipulates our environment to serve our purposes though. We are the only ones who would ever have had any need to create an industrialized society, and on a similar planet, I would think that the race that industrialized would be of a similar physical build, given that they evolved on a similar planet. Sure, the combinations are endless, but asserting that at least one intelligent species that evolved on an earth-like world (out of 143,999) would be humanoid isn't far-fetched at all.

When you add religion into the mix, like this guy has, it becomes perfectly reasonable that God, or a God-like creator race, would have the technology to plant the right amino acids to ensure that life would evolve into a similar biosphere to their own and manipulate circumstances such that humans would come to be. I kind of wish he was right, because I don't think there's a person in my generation who would find flying around on alien spaceships filled with human-like aliens wouldn't be awesome.
 
2008-04-13 04:05:02 PM
Great Janitor:
////yes, I have a girlfriend


Is this her?
i193.photobucket.com

/came up in a GIS for "female odo"
//I think it's appropriate
 
2008-04-13 04:06:03 PM
giantpiraterobot: You know what, I'm farking sick you smug farking yuppie latte drinking computer nerds calling anyone who disagrees with the official lie "batshiat crazy." First of all. The meme is farking old. get a new one. Secondly, you dumb mother farkers probably don't have a flippin clue about what Martians did to the US administration under Nixon. Whether Don Ray Walkton is right or wrong, I don't have a clue but he is not "batshiat crazy" for thinking this way. His ideas are not completely baseless.

*WOW*

/I'm going to need some popcorn for this one.
//and a latte!
 
2008-04-13 04:06:28 PM
Don Ray Walton = Ray Don Simpson?

Anyone, anyone?
 
2008-04-13 04:07:27 PM
Mayor Bee: Great Janitor:
////yes, I have a girlfriend

Is this her?


/came up in a GIS for "female odo"
//I think it's appropriate


That's...not...funny...

/I just ate...
 
2008-04-13 04:08:21 PM
ultraholland: Salvation you say?


"Earth, sitting beneath starless skies, will lie naked in the presence of the frozen background of the expanding universe. . The temperature on Earth will drop, the way a freshly baked apple pie cools on a windowsill. Yet Earth is not alone in this fate. Trillions of years in the future, when all stars are gone, and every process in every nook and cranny of the expanding universe has wound down, all parts of the cosmos will cool to the same temperature as the ever-cooling background. At that time spae travel will no longer provide refuge because even Hell will have frozen over
We may then declare that the universe has died - not with a bang, but with a whimper."

- Death by Black Hole


Salvation ain't in our future.


In a billion years mammals have gone from dodging dinosour feet to the fringes of space travel and are setting sites on visiting our nearest actual planetoid. Thats not bad evolutionary progress right there. In a TRILLION years given that we havent managed to kill ourselves off.....we might be making new stars, not watching them dissapear.
 
2008-04-13 04:09:05 PM
signine: Oh wow, this guy has a myspace, complete with insane blog.

I just became dumber from reading those blogs.
 
2008-04-13 04:09:20 PM
"Don Ray Walton, from the Orion star system, says that within the next four years, humans will be offered salvation from representatives of 143,999 alien races"
And the U.S. of A. will turn down the offer, since the "Bi-ble don't mention nothing about them aliens, they must be thuh work of Lucifer hisself, jus' like E-va-loo-shun!"
 
2008-04-13 04:11:12 PM
Correct... there is NO orion star system... just a segment of the sky cordoned off within which, from our perspective, everything is lumped under the orion 'constellation.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orion_%28constellation%29

the brightest star in that constellation is actually called Betelgeuse, the 2nd, Rigel... neither are hospitable, and any that ARE hospitable (in that direction) are almost certainly so dim to us that they don't even HAVE names beyond survey ID numbers.

Having SEEN a couple UFOs in my time, I tend to believe something is up, and find it all very interesting... but, for god's sake, don't believe much of ANYTHING you hear... in fact, don't even believe anything you SEE ON VIDEO anymore... they've just gotten too good at it.

Rawr

Great Janitor: Feral John: I'm kinda curious about what he's referring to as "The Orion System". I'm pretty sure that what we generally refer to as Orion is a constellation consisting of several stars and nebulae that aren't really particularly close to each other. (except from our pov)

/could be wrong - not an astronomer

There's a nebula that's referred to as the Orion Nebula, but it's also in the Orion Constellation, and since it was the first one discovered in that constellation, that's where the name comes from. If we found a star system around a star in the Orion Constellation, it WOULD NOT BE CALLED the Orion Star System, it would be named after the star it orbits.

The only way there could be an Orion Star System is if there is a star called Orion (doubtful), or if aliens come down to Earth and tell us that they call their star Orion (even more doubtful).
 
2008-04-13 04:12:27 PM
mp31b:
No we don't. Explain the missing link. Or if Homo Sapien is too much, atleast explain the link between flowering and non flowering plant life and the lack of transitional evidence between the two.

Actually, we still have about 50% of our DNA in common with bananas. And over 99% with chimpanzees and bonobos. Now you explain why we wouldn't be local stock.
 
2008-04-13 04:13:33 PM
giantpiraterobot: You know what, I'm farking sick you smug farking yuppie latte drinking computer nerds calling anyone who disagrees with the official lie "batshiat crazy." First of all. The meme is farking old. get a new one. Secondly, you dumb mother farkers probably don't have a flippin clue about what Martians did to the US administration under Nixon. Whether Don Ray Walkton is right or wrong, I don't have a clue but he is not "batshiat crazy" for thinking this way. His ideas are not completely baseless.

nice, lolz.
 
2008-04-13 04:13:36 PM
sandbar67: I'm from the Pleiades, so I'm really getting a kick out of some of these replies.

Those stars are too young probably even for bacteria, kthanxbai
 
Ral
2008-04-13 04:14:00 PM
"The Orion star system," he said, adding that it's pronounced "Our Ion," as that is where the creator is.

No, it's pronounced "oh RY on", like it always has been because the word is of Earth origin and WE NAMED THE DAMN THING.

GAWD. Retard.
 
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