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(SeattlePI)   Neither rain, nor sleet, nor wild turkeys will stop the USPS. Wait, scratch that last one   (seattlepi.nwsource.com) divider line 95
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6127 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Apr 2008 at 8:57 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-04-08 08:58:06 AM
The wild turkey level is easy! You use your fists or knife, and then halfway into the level you find a machine gun and go into postal mode.
 
2008-04-08 09:01:57 AM
Wild Turkey? I guess it's not just for airline pilots afterall....
www.avenuevine.com
 
2008-04-08 09:02:46 AM
Wild Turkey??

i151.photobucket.com
 
2008-04-08 09:05:45 AM
I swear as God is my witness . . . I thought turkeys could fly.
 
2008-04-08 09:06:06 AM
It doesn't stop the postman around here, they just don't let him drive the Jeep for awhile.
 
2008-04-08 09:08:19 AM
Ben Franklin wanted the wild turkey to be our national bird, not the bald eagle.

For my own part I wish the Eagle had not been chosen the representative of our country. He is a bird of bad moral character. He does not get his Living honestly. You may have seen him perched on some dead tree near the river, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labor of the Fishing Hawk; and when that diligent Bird has at length taken a fish, and is bearing it to his nest for the support of his mate and young ones, the Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.
With all this injustice, he is never in good case but like those among men who live by sharping & robbing he is generally poor and often very lousy. Besides he is a rank coward: The little King Bird not bigger than a Sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the district. He is therefore by no means a proper emblem for the brave and honest Cincinnati of America who have driven all the King birds from our country...

"I am on this account not displeased that the figure is not known as a Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey. For the truth the Turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America . . . He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his farm yard with a red coat on.
 
2008-04-08 09:09:35 AM
Man, I can't drink Turkey after a bad night a couple years ago.
 
2008-04-08 09:09:45 AM
I never played this level in postal. WTF?
 
2008-04-08 09:10:10 AM
mistrmind: I swear as God is my witness . . . I thought turkeys could fly.

I came in here for the whiskey post and got a WKRP post.

Well played Well played.
 
2008-04-08 09:12:07 AM
www.ultimatewatergun.com

The upgraded Gort makes sure the mail is on time.

Wild turkeys are friggin nasty. I grew up on a ranch in northern California and we had them. One swooped out of a redwood tree and landed on one of our dogs once. The poor guy wouldn't go outside for a week after that.

/Mmmmm, Wild Turkey 101
 
2008-04-08 09:16:13 AM
They can always use the "Guillotine" to get rid of those turkeys
 
2008-04-08 09:17:24 AM
i am in charge of target acquisition (it is now turkey season) for the post office so i am getting a kick out of these replies
 
2008-04-08 09:17:48 AM
Meh. Some shotshells loaded with #4 shot. Problem solved.
 
2008-04-08 09:18:45 AM
Pfft, try dealing with Canada geese; meanest bird on the planet and there's about a brazilian of em. And don't be dumb enough to try and fight back, you'll end up on fark and not in a good way.


/eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
 
2008-04-08 09:19:20 AM
I'm sure a good kick would make them think twice.
 
2008-04-08 09:19:39 AM
Officer's unavailable for comment

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ezT91SlX6NI

http://www.starsclips.net/videos.aspx/video~turkey_loving_cop/Turkey_loving_cop/ Animal_videos/
 
2008-04-08 09:23:31 AM
Turn me loose baby....I'll solve their problem in one afternoon!

/Loves to eat(and drink)wild turkey
 
2008-04-08 09:26:41 AM
mistrmind: I swear as God is my witness . . . I thought turkeys could fly.

too obvious...but maybe that's why you win this thread.
 
2008-04-08 09:26:54 AM
If I'm in the yard, full of Wild Turkey, and I see the postman approach, it's customary to shoot the bird.
 
2008-04-08 09:27:54 AM
Wild turkey all white meat.
/Wild Turkey the drink and you don't care if it's white meat.
 
2008-04-08 09:31:09 AM
globalwarmingpraiser: mistrmind: I swear as God is my witness . . . I thought turkeys could fly.

I came in here for the whiskey post and got a WKRP post.

Well played Well played.


Funny how that works... I came here for the WKRP posts, and got a bonus whiskey post.
 
2008-04-08 09:33:44 AM
static.flickr.com
 
2008-04-08 09:36:20 AM
Gobbles!

/Timmay!
//got nuthin'
 
2008-04-08 09:38:18 AM
Bah! By two minutes!

/shakes tiny fists at dr grant
//needs to learn to use F5
 
2008-04-08 09:38:19 AM
I came here for the Jeopardy image from when fark was a topic, and was disappointed.
 
2008-04-08 09:38:59 AM
Shakespeare's Monkey: try dealing with Canada geese

My Godson didn't come home from school on time the other day (he's 7), and when his grandma went to look for him, she found him sitting at the bottom of a hill, crying. She asked him what he was doing, and he pointed to the Canadian goose at the top of the hill. He refused to come up because he just knew the goose would attack him.

What was really funny about it was that his grandma spent 10 minutes chasing the goose in circles, waving her arms and screaming, to get him to go away so the kid could go home.

He doesn't think it's funny now, but, guaranteed, someday he will.
 
2008-04-08 09:41:44 AM
I shot and killed a wild turkey hunting with my father. It was quite possibly the nastiest tasting bird I have ever eaten. Apparently it ate a lot of acorns because the taste permeated the meat. Just fowl.
 
2008-04-08 09:44:16 AM
I was driving down a street one day when a wild turkey was standing in the middle of the road. It decided it didn't want to let me pass so it walked up to my car and just started attacking it.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2008-04-08 09:44:55 AM
We had the same problem in my city 10 years ago. The postal supervisor didn't believe the story until he went along on the delivery route.
 
2008-04-08 09:45:02 AM
Three more weeks 'till it's open season on you little bastards!
 
2008-04-08 09:45:08 AM
img237.imageshack.us

Oh, relax kids. I've got a gutfeeling Uter's around here somewhere. After all, isn't there a little Uter in all of us? In fact, you might say we just ate Uter and he's in our stomachs right now!
 
2008-04-08 09:45:12 AM
turkyhntr
Sir, I welcome you to your dream post/thread.
 
2008-04-08 09:46:32 AM
how 'bout a spud gun and/or a gravy shooter?
 
2008-04-08 09:48:19 AM
Vman: I shot and killed a wild turkey hunting with my father. It was quite possibly the nastiest tasting bird I have ever eaten. Apparently it ate a lot of acorns because the taste permeated the meat. Just fowl.

You're doing it wrong!
 
2008-04-08 09:50:20 AM
Vman: I shot and killed a wild turkey hunting with my father.

Why was the turkey hunting with your father?

I'm a hunter, and to be quite honest, I generally don't pick hunting partners from the same species I am hunting. The reason is two-fold: Either I have to worry about my partner alerting his brethren, and/or it just takes all the sport out of it.
 
2008-04-08 09:51:58 AM
Vman: I shot and killed a wild turkey hunting with my father. It was quite possibly the nastiest tasting bird I have ever eaten. Apparently it ate a lot of acorns because the taste permeated the meat. Just fowl.
 
2008-04-08 09:51:59 AM
mybabysmomma: Sir, I welcome you to your dream post/thread.

Thanks,I'm chomping at the bit for Sat. to get here season opens then!!!!
 
2008-04-08 09:52:40 AM
Vman: I shot and killed a wild turkey hunting with my father. It was quite possibly the nastiest tasting bird I have ever eaten. Apparently it ate a lot of acorns because the taste permeated the meat. Just fowl.

i1.tinypic.com
 
2008-04-08 09:57:56 AM
dittybopper

To hunt the beast you must become the beast. And besides, who are you to say that Turkey had no right to enjoy hunting? I bet you are one of those people who knows whats best for everyone and gets great things like midget tossing banned.
 
2008-04-08 10:01:43 AM
Vman: dittybopper

To hunt the beast you must become the beast. And besides, who are you to say that Turkey had no right to enjoy hunting? I bet you are one of those people who knows whats best for everyone and gets great things like midget tossing banned.


What about midget skeet shooting?

PULL!
 
2008-04-08 10:03:06 AM
docmattic: Vman: dittybopper

To hunt the beast you must become the beast. And besides, who are you to say that Turkey had no right to enjoy hunting? I bet you are one of those people who knows whats best for everyone and gets great things like midget tossing banned.

What about midget skeet shooting?

PULL!


I thought that's what I did when I found out the work net-nany didn't filter drawf-porn?
 
2008-04-08 10:04:07 AM
turkyhntr
Hope you bag your limit and watch out for the dumbarses.
 
2008-04-08 10:08:12 AM
Barakku: docmattic: Vman: dittybopper

I thought that's what I did when I found out the work net-nany didn't filter drawf-porn?


You're living on the edge, man... I haven't ever seen a drawf naked!
 
2008-04-08 10:09:31 AM
mybabysmomma: Hope you bag your limit and watch out for the dumbarses.

Not much of a problem here.I hunt private land would prolly quit if I had to hunt public.

/wish the limit was more than two!
//wifey has tags tho!
 
2008-04-08 10:12:56 AM
docmattic

I haven't ever seen a drawf naked!

But do you like gladiator movies?
 
2008-04-08 10:12:57 AM
If that happens around here, I'll just let the USPS "borrow" my 100 lb German Shepherd mix. No shakin' no tenderizin', down they go.
 
2008-04-08 10:14:00 AM
Why are there no posts of Dr. Mephisto?
I guess he's unavailable for comment.
 
2008-04-08 10:14:58 AM
Vman: docmattic

I haven't ever seen a drawf naked!

But do you like gladiator movies?


At my signal... unleash hell drawfs!
 
2008-04-08 10:14:59 AM
Vman: I shot and killed a wild turkey hunting with my father. It was quite possibly the nastiest tasting bird I have ever eaten. Apparently it ate a lot of acorns because the taste permeated the meat. Just fowl.

Ummmm...do you know how to cook wild turkey?
Obviously not.
 
2008-04-08 10:15:16 AM
turkyhntr: mybabysmomma: Hope you bag your limit and watch out for the dumbarses.

Not much of a problem here.I hunt private land would prolly quit if I had to hunt public.

/wish the limit was more than two!
//wifey has tags tho!


29 of them walked thru my yard the other day.
 
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