My kingdom for a contest.

Sausages! Sausages! Sausages! Sausages! Sausages! Sausages!

Chimps don't mate for life, so the "cheating wife" nonsense is inaccurate.

FTFA - "it's all electromagnetic energy."

I would bet that woman couldn't explain electromagnetic force if she had the textbook open to that particular chapter.

ambassador_ahab
I need to start a business where I do something completely ridiculous. Then I could be like L.Ron Hubbard and get rich off the dumb asses that believe me.

Me too. My problem is always that even in spite of overwhelming evidence it's hard for me to believe people can be that dumb. Actually, come to think of it, dealing with the dummies would be the easy part - I think the prospect of coming up against someone like me is what scares me off...

the aristocrats!

FTFA -"it's all electromagnetic energy."

Why explain it? Just ride!

"Is it more probable that nature should go out of her course, or that a man should tell a lie?"
-Thomas Paine

What I find amazing is that all these animals seem to speak in an English syntax.

"And sometimes the voice has an accent, like the white ferrett that told her in a Barry White voice, "I'm a ladies'man","

What a loon, she even has comic relief in her halucinations.

A cheating chimp's 'wife....



He wasn't always evil...

i can relate,
the other day a spider told me to fark off.
then it bit me.

...spiders are like that.

Humph...a day late for one thing. Anyway, how many disclaimers can you put into an article, before you just admit it's not an article but instead just a paper filling fluff piece? And no one even bothered to comment to the paper, "Oh I so believe my Fluffy is so in tune with the world around them"

My dog communicates with me. Last night, she farted. So I let her outside and she took a huge dump.

Another good quote for this...
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof"
-Often used by Carl Sagan

I think we can easily devise a way to test this. Why not show an animal with high intelligence(such as say, a chimpanzee, which we know have problem solving capabilities) something that is hidden and have it relay that back to this lady? As long as we can verify she wasn't in view of what was hidden, it would be easy to put a snake under a box so that only the chimp knows it is there. (For those who don't know, chimps are born with a fear of snakes and tests have shown they can communicate the idea of "snake in the area" to others)

Tests with sign language have shown that chimps can recognize objects(such as - I believe it was Lucy - who would "read" magazines and sign what she was seeing... such as signing "cat" when she saw a picture of a tiger)
All we would really need to is showing a picture book to a chimp and have the chimp, assuming he wants to be helpful, communicate the object on the paper to the communicator.

Ah Fark, the modern equivalent of the Salem Witch Trials.

Then: "Burn her, she's a Witch"
Now: "ZOMG ppl r dum; this is faek!111"

SnoreCriminal: Ah Fark, the modern equivalent of the Salem Witch Trials.

Yes, because a period in American history when innocent people were wrongfully persecuted and hanged and negative comments on an internet forum is total equivalents.

You fu*king douche nozzle.

anybody can know what an animal is thinking if they're receptive enough. but i doubt they communicate in telepathic catch-phrases.

Ferrets! w00t!! This is Sammy... he escaped Friday night in a major metropolitan area and we didn't find him until Sunday morning. He was one tired, cold and dirty mo fo', but he's back home safe now : )

I got a "dog" she can talk to...and she doesn't have to even use her hands...

GLove88mph: SnoreCriminal: Ah Fark, the modern equivalent of the Salem Witch Trials.

Yes, because a period in American history when innocent people were wrongfully persecuted and hanged and negative comments on an internet forum is total equivalents.

You fu*king douche nozzle.

"The earth creature seems so tense... irritable. Too much coffee?"
"Not enough sex."

Tupac... found on the streets of a metro area. Killed by landlords dog. Loved sleeping in plastic bags and shiatting constantly.

kumanoki: You may think this woman's clean off her trolley or taking the mickey. But, as her husband Russell says: "The proof's in the pudding." And he's not alone in thinking that.

Then he and all the others he's not alone with are idiots. The proof of the pudding is in the tasting. And frankly, I wouldn't taste her pudding with Bea Arthur's spoon.

I do so enjoy a bit of twisted pop culture. Kudos.

GLove88mph: SnoreCriminal: Ah Fark, the modern equivalent of the Salem Witch Trials.

Yes, because a period in American history when innocent people were wrongfully persecuted and hanged and negative comments on an internet forum is total equivalents.

You fu*king douche nozzle.

Yes, because morons with no real knowledge of a situation passing judgement on people is in no way comparable to morons with no real knowledge of a situation passing judgement on people.

And if being a douchenozzle means having a use in life and actually touching genitals than I would rather be a douchenozzle than a basement-dwelling, mouth-breather who has a better chance of keeling over from heart-disease in their parent's house than of losing their virginity, like you.

Why hasn't anyone gone for The Beastmaster reference, yet? I'll do it...

KvanCetre: "Is it more probable that nature should go out of her course, or that a man should tell a lie?"
-Thomas Paine

What I find amazing is that all these animals seem to speak in an English syntax.

Thats what i wanted to know

SnoreCriminal: GLove88mph: SnoreCriminal: Ah Fark, the modern equivalent of the Salem Witch Trials.

Yes, because a period in American history when innocent people were wrongfully persecuted and hanged and negative comments on an internet forum is total equivalents.

You fu*king douche nozzle.

Yes, because morons with no real knowledge of a situation passing judgement on people is in no way comparable to morons with no real knowledge of a situation passing judgement on people.

And if being a douchenozzle means having a use in life and actually touching genitals than I would rather be a douchenozzle than a basement-dwelling, mouth-breather who has a better chance of keeling over from heart-disease in their parent's house than of losing their virginity, like you.

You do recognize the irony of your comments, right?

Fark: Where people who claim loudly that others are closed minded immediately slam their doors in the face of the opinions of others.

If she can nonverbally communicate with animals, it stands to reason that she should be able to nonverbally communicate with humans, as well. It should be easy enough to have her abilities tested by someone trying to send her "images" of, say, a number between 1 and 1000.

Of course, there's the overwhelming possibility that she would claim that her talents work with ferrets, horses, dogs, cats, and chimps. But, inexplicably, not people.

-TF

SnoreCriminal

you're still a douche nozzle, lulz.

Walken agrees.

GLove88mph: SnoreCriminal

you're still a douche nozzle, lulz.

And you're still a basement-dwelling, mouth-breather who has a better chance of keeling over from heart-disease in their parent's house than of losing their virginity, lulz.

KvanCetre: Another good quote for this...
"Extraordinary claims require extraordinary proof"
-Often used by Carl Sagan

I think we can easily devise a way to test this. Why not show an animal with high intelligence(such as say, a chimpanzee, which we know have problem solving capabilities) something that is hidden and have it relay that back to this lady? As long as we can verify she wasn't in view of what was hidden, it would be easy to put a snake under a box so that only the chimp knows it is there. (For those who don't know, chimps are born with a fear of snakes and tests have shown they can communicate the idea of "snake in the area" to others)

Tests with sign language have shown that chimps can recognize objects(such as - I believe it was Lucy - who would "read" magazines and sign what she was seeing... such as signing "cat" when she saw a picture of a tiger)
All we would really need to is showing a picture book to a chimp and have the chimp, assuming he wants to be helpful, communicate the object on the paper to the communicator.

That's more complicated than necessary, I think. Just send her a picture of your dead cat/dog/goat/parrot, and see what it'll 'tell' her.
Of course, afterwards she'll probably just claim to be able to communicate with the dead as well, it's just another step on the kookery ladder after all, but I might be a bit suspicious if my dead dog wants steak.

SnoreCriminal: GLove88mph: SnoreCriminal

you're still a douche nozzle, lulz.

And you're still a basement-dwelling, mouth-breather who has a better chance of keeling over from heart-disease in their parent's house than of losing their virginity, lulz.

When you two girls are done kissing, I've got some ass kicking for you!

electricmayhem: When you two girls are done kissing, I've got some ass kicking for you!

I dunno...this little slap fight could go on for awhile.

I remember when I believed (or wanted to believe) that it was possible to communicate with animals as you would with people.

I was 10.

Snakes on the plane!

I came to this thread expecting something juicy about Laura Bush. You know chimps wife...

trigger0219: RIP Tupac :( I hope he's on the island with Biggie too. Damn dags.

OZZ: LOLZ

/FERRET THREAD!!

He was cheating on her with this guy. Things got ugly after she found out..let's tune into her "electromagnetic energy":

I swear I've heard my ferrets' voices a few times in my head (I'm on medication for that now, btw), but I really chalk it up to body language and just knowing them. Besides, one of mine is deaf so I communicate with sign language and he communicates with body language. It would be funny though if Ajax, my deaf one, decided to pipe up one day seeing as how he has no idea of what the English language sounds like. I'm willing to bet that if I took A.J. to her without informing her that he's deaf, she'd spin quite a yarn nonetheless. Now, with my puppy, it's more like playing charades than simple body language, and no, I don't want to hear in common English what goes on inside of her little pea brain, ever.

FTFA -"it's all electromagnetic energy."


Well I'm convinced. The science is there!


And SnoreCriminal : Most douches don't come with nozzles anymore, they are usually one-piece disposables. So you're special in that respect.


Lighten, up, Francisisisisses. I mean, it is POSSIBLE people can talk to animals. Just not very LIKELY that British bimbos do it using a-laying on of hands on a bow-wow and her interpreting. "Yes...yes, I'm getting something, Jasper says he's troubled by flatulence."

People have glossed over the best part of this article:

A homeopath for 12 years and practitioner in the healing art of Reiki, Clare says she is not telepathic, not psychic or a medium and definitely not potty.

The Fail is strong with this one. Her midi-failorian level must be over 20,000

/Stronger than even Master Lucas?
//feels dirty referencing Lucas' epic-back-story-fail

what the fџck?

FЏCK