FARK.com: (3500041) Man caught having sex with a picnic table (with mugshot goodness)

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		Man caught having sex with a picnic table (with mugshot goodness) (firstcoastnews.com)		425
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36821 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Mar 2008 at 3:05 PM | Favorite | share:

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Apok451		2008-03-28 03:45:42 PM

hpsdarts: Apok451: Ms.Maus: So when do we get an Ohio tag?

Shhhhh! We are trying to be lowkey here in Columbus! You are ruining it for us!

we don't want to know these people

Thats why we want to keep it lowkey. We dont want to know about these people. Or be compared to Florida for that matter.

Ms.Maus		2008-03-28 03:45:55 PM

Apok451: Ms.Maus: So when do we get an Ohio tag?

Shhhhh! We are trying to be lowkey here in Columbus! You are ruining it for us!

My bad! :o

In all seriousness, I think Texas will beat us out for a tag, lol.

Rogue71371		2008-03-28 03:47:02 PM

LittleKidLover		2008-03-28 03:47:16 PM

starskysbored		2008-03-28 03:48:11 PM

hmmmm.... reminds me of one of my favorite pornos... Link (new window)

Shakespeare's Monkey		2008-03-28 03:48:11 PM

I came here to say, Arthur Price you are a comedy king. I have now seen the funniest thing I will ever get to see; that's it, game over. There's no need to make jokes anymore; this guy rules them all.

/probably would pass on the BBQ invitation
//now I know why the potato salad tasted a bit off

murphy05		2008-03-28 03:48:27 PM

Don;t forget to Practice safe sex...

ecx.images-amazon.com

Somewhere in this world someone just poped a squishy

unremarkable asterisk		2008-03-28 03:48:49 PM

Zombie Hitler: How many things do you have to fark before you move on to picnic tables?

Gateway furniture?

Dumbguy		2008-03-28 03:48:50 PM

Danger Avoid Death: Arthur Price: "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend Patty. Patty O'Furniture."

Winner!

r0d3nt		2008-03-28 03:49:19 PM

well.

at least, during ^*sex with a table, the ashtray doesn't keep falling over onto the bed.

^*normal sex. No fiendish table-tipping acrobatics.

hpsdarts		2008-03-28 03:49:29 PM

Ms.Maus: Apok451: Ms.Maus: So when do we get an Ohio tag?

Shhhhh! We are trying to be lowkey here in Columbus! You are ruining it for us!

My bad! :o

In all seriousness, I think Texas will beat us out for a tag, lol.

that patiophile(which is hilarious btw) is maybe an hour from where i live. Scary farkers

SlothB77		2008-03-28 03:49:56 PM

sharp knees

Farkwaddle		2008-03-28 03:50:41 PM

I didnt bother reading all the way through the comments, but did anyone else notice this article came from a FLORIDA news website???

/you there...POT
/no call kettle darkie!

A Little...Puerto Ricany		2008-03-28 03:52:09 PM

"I-I-I-I-KEA!!"

/I KNOW that's not obscure
//Just embarassing

IXI Jim IXI		2008-03-28 03:52:20 PM

Farkwaddle: I didnt bother reading all the way through the comments, but did anyone else notice this article came from a FLORIDA news website???

Florida...where America goes to die or fark lawn furniture.

Danger Avoid Death		2008-03-28 03:52:24 PM

Furniture buttsecks: When you push the stool in.

Noexit		2008-03-28 03:52:54 PM

Cagey B: All the humorous table farking comments aside, why exactly was he arrested for this? It was in his backyard and his bedroom.

If I can see you, your "private" just became "public". I'm not saying it's right, just that's how it works.

dr_iacovone		2008-03-28 03:54:16 PM

So, would Rent-A-Center be considured an Escort busines, or are they just pimps leasing out prostitutes.

playdate		2008-03-28 03:55:03 PM

Fellows		2008-03-28 03:55:25 PM

Noexit: If I can see you, your "private" just became "public". I'm not saying it's right, just that's how it works.

What if my "privates" are obscured by your "table" while your "grill" watches, what then Matlock?

hpsdarts		2008-03-28 03:55:26 PM

Farkwaddle: I didnt bother reading all the way through the comments, but did anyone else notice this article came from a FLORIDA news website???

/you there...POT
/no call kettle darkie!

i guess florida needed someone to laugh at for once.

/i keed

Doctor Whom		2008-03-28 03:55:43 PM

Danger Avoid Death		2008-03-28 03:56:15 PM

dr_iacovone: So, would Rent-A-Center be considured an Escort busines, or are they just pimps leasing out prostitutes.

You wouldn't want to fark one of their tables. Do you have any idea where those things have been?

Coronach		2008-03-28 03:56:23 PM

I prefer PVC lawn furniture, it's like the "real doll" of patio furnishings.

Jose628		2008-03-28 03:56:37 PM

Dead_Pool_82		2008-03-28 03:56:44 PM

The investigation began when a tipster gave police three DVDs showing Arthur Price having sexual intercourse with a metal round table on his deck.

So who was the sicko who filmed him farking a table long enough catch him doing it 4 times and fill 3 DVDs?

Zombie Hitler		2008-03-28 03:56:45 PM

unremarkable asterisk: Zombie Hitler: How many things do you have to fark before you move on to picnic tables?

Gateway furniture?

Not even just furniture, everything. You couldn't trust the silverware in his house.

I love how the neighbor didn't go to the police until he had 3 DVD's worth. As if one DVD would be insufficient.

ipide		2008-03-28 03:56:51 PM

This article (new window) has a slightly different take:
Price walk out onto his deck, stand (sic) a round metal table on its side and use the hole in the umbrella to have sex.

kingMountain		2008-03-28 03:58:10 PM

Zombie Hitler: I love how the neighbor didn't go to the police until he had 3 DVD's worth. As if one DVD would be insufficient.

neighbor = george lucas.

keithgabryelski		2008-03-28 03:58:43 PM

Noexit: Cagey B: All the humorous table farking comments aside, why exactly was he arrested for this? It was in his backyard and his bedroom.

If I can see you, your "private" just became "public". I'm not saying it's right, just that's how it works.

"not right" doesn't even start to describe witnessing the event.

pretty jellybean		2008-03-28 03:59:24 PM

A picnic?

He was trying to make the cantaloupe jealous, that dirty fruit baller...

Bug2k		2008-03-28 03:59:35 PM

I'm gonna have my bachelor party at IKEA.

Canyoudigit		2008-03-28 03:59:47 PM

Are the cops certain that he didn't have a dead dog on top of the table?

BackBite_rowEn		2008-03-28 03:59:58 PM

Nos_Felix: I cannot find for my life the best link I ever saw regarding porch furniture and sex. It was an entire website dedicated to chairs having sex. It was amazing. If someone else knows what I'm talking about, feel free to link it up.

Just do a search for furniture porn.

Or watch here (new window) Probably NSFW, the audio certainly isn't!

AnnoyingKidNextDoor		2008-03-28 04:00:19 PM

Someone needs to tell the guy:

www.maj.com

RockyMtnMan		2008-03-28 04:00:51 PM

This guy is a Farker.

...you just know it....

yermej		2008-03-28 04:01:01 PM

UHF? Town Talk? (new window)

Expected to see this posted already.

Shakespeare's Monkey		2008-03-28 04:01:37 PM

pretty jellybean		2008-03-28 04:02:13 PM

bphlater: "though the man was quite energetic, the table's acting was described as WOODEN."

My keyboard thanks you for its Coke shower.

Zombie Hitler		2008-03-28 04:02:57 PM

kingMountain: Zombie Hitler: I love how the neighbor didn't go to the police until he had 3 DVD's worth. As if one DVD would be insufficient.

neighbor = george lucas.

If that's true, the case will be thrown out when the defense supplies footage of the new trilogy. If those actors are considered human, how do you know that table was really wood?

jupiterc		2008-03-28 04:03:28 PM

He probably shouldn't watch this -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMQ_O9qSVCk

(not a RickRoll)

unremarkable asterisk		2008-03-28 04:04:33 PM

tweaksfo		2008-03-28 04:05:55 PM

DRC500free: tweaksfo: I think it is safe to say his day could have been MUCH worse...

Oh god, that was an epic thread. Do you have the link?

Ask and ye shall receive:
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=2018473

Ms.Maus		2008-03-28 04:07:17 PM

IXI Jim IXI: Farkwaddle: I didnt bother reading all the way through the comments, but did anyone else notice this article came from a FLORIDA news website???

Florida...where America goes to die or fark lawn furniture.

I forget who posted it, but they said that Florida was "God's Waiting Room." I have been using the term ever since.

Nutsac_Jim		2008-03-28 04:07:22 PM

Cagey B: All the humorous table farking comments aside, why exactly was he arrested for this? It was in his backyard and his bedroom.

Who should be charged here is the asshat who was videotaping this guy in his bedroom.

Because just besause you are on private property doesnt mean you can
do anything you want.

silentsentinel		2008-03-28 04:07:28 PM

Ok... this really shouldn't be that hard. What a person chooses to do with their lawn furniture is their business... unless it's in public view or direct view of a neighbor's window, etc. All the moran had to do was put up a fence, and he'd be free to bork his beloved table until the cows came home if he so pleased.

maniacbastard		2008-03-28 04:08:06 PM

Is this the same Farker that had the "Ballsack conundrum?"

Figures, I knew his bagskin didn't get in there by accident.

Anyone got a link to the original thread?

gulag		2008-03-28 04:08:16 PM

Have the police interviewed his vacuum cleaner?

Apok451		2008-03-28 04:09:33 PM

coder0012		2008-03-28 04:09:34 PM

I'd put my cock on it.

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