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(Scotsman)   Smoking named 'the most offensive thing you can do in someone else's house', narrowly edging out "their wife"   (news.scotsman.com) divider line
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6355 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Mar 2008 at 11:57 PM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



111 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2008-03-21 11:57:51 PM  
Smoke 'em if ya' got 'em.

/ but throw up on the home theatre system and you're a dead man
 
2008-03-22 12:01:29 AM  
I think I would be more offended if someone took a shiat on my floor.
/But only just
 
2008-03-22 12:01:36 AM  
My friends think me crapping in their shiatter and leaving the fan off is cruel and inhumane.
 
2008-03-22 12:02:01 AM  
I guess I have always thought that flinging poo was the most offensive thing you could do in someone else's house.
 
2008-03-22 12:02:16 AM  
More offensive than "upper decking"? I should hope not.
 
2008-03-22 12:02:36 AM  
I was going to say wiping with the shower curtain.

Oh like you have never done it.
 
2008-03-22 12:02:54 AM  
what about pissing in your golf bag and smearing hot candle wax on the draperies?

/done it.
 
2008-03-22 12:03:00 AM  
My vote was fapping on their cat or something
 
2008-03-22 12:03:56 AM  
What about jerking off on their bed?
 
2008-03-22 12:04:08 AM  
".....your....son?"
 
2008-03-22 12:04:29 AM  
ACH, NOO, YE GREAT PILLOCK!
daviddarling.infoView Full Size

IT'S FULL OF SECOND-HAND SMOKE!
 
2008-03-22 12:04:41 AM  
I dunno, I'd say squishing out a smoothie in their coffee pot would rank pretty high.

Or snapping one off on the cold thighs of a defrosted Easter turkey.
 
2008-03-22 12:05:16 AM  
I call shenanigans. It's the most offensive thing you can do in SOME PEOPLE'S houses. I, for one, am a smoker, and therefore I do not care.
 
2008-03-22 12:06:52 AM  
SpongeJamie - NoPants
I dunno, I'd say squishing out a smoothie in their coffee pot would rank pretty high.

Or snapping one off on the cold thighs of a defrosted Easter turk
ey

+1. I almost shiat myself!
 
2008-03-22 12:06:58 AM  
I don't think there's any real limit on how offensive things could get if someone really tried. I'm pretty sure that "tying you up and making you watch as your family is slowly tortured to death", for example, beats smoking by a wide margin of offensiveness.

Smoking should have been named "the most offensive thing you could do in someone else's house, that's remotely likely to happen".
 
2008-03-22 12:07:35 AM  
SpongeJamie - NoPants: I dunno, I'd say squishing out a smoothie in their coffee pot would rank pretty high.

Or snapping one off on the cold thighs of a defrosted Easter turkey.


The clothes dryer is another great place, drop a deuce in there and set it to high for an hour. This works better if there are clothes in there too.
 
2008-03-22 12:09:53 AM  
Smoking named 'the most offensive thing you can do in someone else's house', narrowly edging out "their wife."

Hey, some guys roll that way.
 
2008-03-22 12:10:37 AM  
Wow, after reading that, I'm awfully thankful for my friends. They are neither rude as guests, nor anal-retentive assholes when having me as a guest.

(not disagreeing with the smoking thing lest anyone be confused... of course that's rude)

Looking for dust? Really?

That only serves to confirm a thought I had earlier today... That some people simply have the capacity for joy stamped right out of them. That, for them, there will never be any happiness, and the closest thing to it satisfaction at the unhappiness/shortcomings of others... just a lifetime of "at least you're as miserable as me" or "too stupid to realize you SHOULD be as miserable as me."

Seriously, just WOW... if we have any dust-checkers here, can you clue me in on the pleasure/satisfaction/purpose of that? Like what you hope to derive from it? Are you disappointed if you don't find any?
 
2008-03-22 12:13:45 AM  
twat_waffle: I call shenanigans. It's the most offensive thing you can do in SOME PEOPLE'S houses. I, for one, am a smoker, and therefore I do not care.

Yeah, I never had problems smoking in the homes of people who smoked, unless I couldn't find an ashtray nearby.
 
2008-03-22 12:14:28 AM  
At a party at one of my friends houses, someone stuck a unopened can of baked beans in the oven, and turned it, I felt that was fairly offensive. At another party, someone decided it would be fun to discharge the fire extinguisher on everyone.
 
2008-03-22 12:15:38 AM  
I was going to say wiping with the shower curtain cat.


FTFY.
 
2008-03-22 12:15:57 AM  
Personally, I hate it when someone leaves skid marks in the toilet bowl.
 
2008-03-22 12:16:31 AM  
What's so offensive about their wife? I thought she was alright.
 
2008-03-22 12:16:45 AM  
WearTheFoxHat: Personally, I hate it when someone leaves skid marks in the toilet bowl.

It's even worse in the sink.
 
2008-03-22 12:16:52 AM  
SpongeJamie - NoPants: I dunno, I'd say squishing out a smoothie

Jesus, for a minute I thought this was yuppie food trend involving blender drinks. Yuck, I thought.

/Now? Double-Farking YUCK!
 
2008-03-22 12:17:02 AM  
Exhibit A:
1 - "....shiat on my floor."
2 - "....me crapping in their shiatter"
3 - "....flinging poo"
4 - "...."upper decking"?"
5 - "....wiping with the shower curtain."

Exhibit B
1 - "....fapping on their cat"
2 - "....jerking off on their bed?"


WTF?

Right out of the gate we've got multiple farkers that when hearing "what not to do" immediately reference shiat and spermitage.


Man... you guys are really weird.

/Digg called and asked where you are.
//that joke called and slapped me in the face with a hair-bands cassette tape
 
2008-03-22 12:17:12 AM  
I nailed the bride, and the best man, on the groom's sofa, the night before the wedding, and I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

technicolor-misfit: anal-retentive assholes

TFA: a survey conducted by the BBC's Good Homes magazine

Hmm...
 
2008-03-22 12:17:40 AM  
I'm crappin in someone elses house so im really getting a kick out of your replies.

/really
//I totally am at this moment
 
2008-03-22 12:17:49 AM  
I think my friends were rather offended when I brought over a step ladder and went around rubbing my balls on all of their lightswitches.
 
2008-03-22 12:20:10 AM  
technicolor-misfit: if we have any dust-checkers here, can you clue me in on the pleasure/satisfaction/purpose of that? Like what you hope to derive from it? Are you disappointed if you don't find any?

I sensually sniff your dust up my snoot, off my fingertip. Was it cocaine? dandruff? the stuff of exploded stars? Did the tooth fairy sleep on your tabletop last night? Was it the crusty eyegoop of a burglar, left in the night? The feeling of all those tiny granules sliding between my nosehairs, their thousands of atomic mysteries seeping into my sinuses and maybe, just maybe, breaking the blood-brain barrier and blowing my mind is worth every finger sweeping flick of disrespect I swipe your way.

SWOOP SNORT AHHHHHHHH
 
2008-03-22 12:21:01 AM  
The world of tampons.

Move over, Rover.
 
2008-03-22 12:22:00 AM  
Sheesh.... between when I saw the thread and then made a comment theres been scores more fecal/fappage references.

Is there some sick Fark Frat out there? Surely the Hazmat teams have shut it down by nowq

/dont call me Shirley
//"Fark Frat"??? www.farkfrat.com would be a cool place for some of us to hang. We could talk about fecal mist and fap hurlers.
 
2008-03-22 12:22:16 AM  
FarkinNortherner: I nailed the bride, and [with] the best man

FTFM

/paging Dr. Freud
 
2008-03-22 12:24:19 AM  
This is why I like living in Red State America. Rednecks smoke more than you, so you can feel free to smoke in their house.
 
2008-03-22 12:24:23 AM  
+1 subby.

I don't know about smoking. If someone is smoking in my house, I just tell them to go outside.

Now leaving an upper decker, thats pretty damn offensive. Just because you really have to go out of your way to do it.
 
2008-03-22 12:27:04 AM  
technicolor-misfit: Seriously, just WOW... if we have any dust-checkers here, can you clue me in on the pleasure/satisfaction/purpose of that? Like what you hope to derive from it? Are you disappointed if you don't find any?

I unconsciously do it sometimes. It isn't meant to be snooty or anything, I just like the feel of dust and the contrast it leaves when you wipe away just a little.

/Socially awkward
 
2008-03-22 12:27:21 AM  
I suppose someone has to get away from the poop/spooge genre...so...

I remember the time my buddy and I went to a party and brought our ear wax stuffed celery appetizers.
 
2008-03-22 12:28:27 AM  
that's the kind of lameass results when you poll septuagenarians.
 
2008-03-22 12:28:29 AM  
Is installing Vista on their computer considered offensive?
 
2008-03-22 12:28:55 AM  
The most offensive thing you can do is smoke in my house.

And not offer me any.
 
2008-03-22 12:30:22 AM  
At a party a few months ago, some people decided to play flip cup, which normally wouldn't have been a problem, except they did it on the coffee table in a carpeted room. The table is warped, but the carpet is clean now.
 
2008-03-22 12:30:31 AM  
"the Chinaman peed on your rug dude."
 
2008-03-22 12:30:47 AM  
FTFA: "The anti-smoking brigade have basically managed to turn smokers into social lepers these days. These people clearly need to start calming down and get some sense of perspective about smoking, as once the impact of the anti-smoking legislation calms down they'll move on to something else."

Yeah, k... so the COPD I have from living with two chain smokers for 18 years is merely my imagination... Darn me and my disproportionate "perspective about smoking"... especially when it's in my home.

If people smoke, that's their choice... Just please don't expect me to say "oh, do it here, please! I want to breathe it in, and spend two days hacking my lungs up from smelling it"

/has nothing against polite smokers
 
2008-03-22 12:31:01 AM  
Dr. C. Beavers: "the Chinaman peed on your rug dude."

It really tied the room together.
 
2008-03-22 12:31:17 AM  
I no longer smoke Cigarettes, haven't since Dec 31st, 1999. If I am asked if someone can smoke in my house, I get out the ashtray, no problem. If they light up and ask for an ashtray, they are told to smoke outside.
Returning Courtesy with Courtesy trumps dormant cravings.
So, I would say that people being farking rude is the most offensive thing a person can do.
 
2008-03-22 12:32:11 AM  
i142.photobucket.comView Full Size

/Depends what they are smoking.
//I can think of way worse
 
2008-03-22 12:32:18 AM  
InternetLOL: technicolor-misfit: Seriously, just WOW... if we have any dust-checkers here, can you clue me in on the pleasure/satisfaction/purpose of that? Like what you hope to derive from it? Are you disappointed if you don't find any?

I unconsciously do it sometimes. It isn't meant to be snooty or anything, I just like the feel of dust and the contrast it leaves when you wipe away just a little.

/Socially awkward


I do the same thing, it is an impulse I haven't learned to control in public.
 
2008-03-22 12:32:33 AM  
So, nix the smoke after you do the wife.

Noted.
 
2008-03-22 12:33:01 AM  
Replacing all the family photos around the house with gootse might illicit a response.
 
2008-03-22 12:36:12 AM  
What if smokers (those horrible, horrible people) looked around for an ashtray, and when not finding one, excused themselves to the back yard or front stoop?

Jesus, I'm a smoker, and I'd never do it in a home that obviously didn't want that shiat there.

By the same token, if you come to MY house, you're not allowed to biatch about the smoke.
 
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