Gawdzila 2008-03-19 05:59:14 AM

Wow, she reminds me of Jennifer Connelly there.

/Thinks Jennifer Connelly is possibly the most attractive celebrity woman alive.
//Sorry Scarlett.
///Whatever it is is a helluva drug.

Okay, I watched a fair bit of Sex and the City with my wife, and I can understand hating on SJP's character (as well as Charlotte) - I mean, they were pretending to be liberated, intellectual women when they were realy just glorified gold-digging prostitutes living like queens while they hunted down the biggest wallet, a wallet that they still managed to be dramatic attention whores so badly that the men on the show could barely stand them.

That's fine.

But why bag on Kim Katrall's character? To me, she seems to represent the average Farker's ideal: promiscuous woman with no interest in drama, stupid crap like kids, etc. She just wanted to Fark, and was keeping herself looking hot well past the expiration date. What gives?

And hell, Miranda was so bitter (and hawt), she could've been a Farkette.

The internets: where anyone who isn't physically perfect is ridiculed as hideous.

/"horse face" my ass

fred_chan: I personally would have voted Renee Zellweger the ugliest woman in Hollywood. She looks like she got clubbed in the face with a two by four.

Her face always reminds me of an anus for some reason.

jeez some of you guys are just too picky. There wouldn't be 7 BILLION unwashed numbers of humanity if everyone was as picky as some of you clowns come off as.

I'd hit like the fist of an angry god for sure. Why? I don't know, she's a woman and reasonably attractive and I have an almost uncontrollable libido. THAT'S WHY. Anything else, you're just being a lying near-virginal picky frat boy.

Go wack it to hentai and/or whatever flavor of the month internet abomination (2g1c?). You can do us a favor by checking out your genes from our gene pool and just knuckle shufflin' till the day you die.

Man, I'd hit SJP WAY before I would a used up plasticized blow-up doll like Pamela Anderson. UGH! Or how about Courtney Love...now THAT'S unsexy.

And those here who think Kim Cattrall isn't sexy any more...umm, okay, whatever. Maybe it's just because I'm 53, but as HELL YEAH I'd hit that.

J.W.: Charlotte is really the only hittable-w/out-goggles character on the show. I mean come on, you farkers saying SJP is all right...you really mean "if its 2am at the bar and shes all that's left standing, well then...I guess, all right"

Miranda uber alles.

towatchoverme:

Your mom must be VERY proud of you. You're just $4,995 away from being a three diamond girl.

Yeah, since your idea of "sex" is jerking off over the girl in the Snorg Tees ads, I must be some kind of escort/hooker.

There's a few key differences here, Scooter. Maybe you ought to trim your nostril hairs, lose that gut and keep your cock-block-hole closed more often...you might learn that women aren't just images on your monitor for your bishop-choking convenience.

GreatNOD: "She's not ugly! She has the sexiest fivehead around."

I beg to differ...



Also...

ArcadianRefugee: The internets: where anyone who isn't physically perfect is ridiculed as hideous.

/"horse face" my ass

Been said before ... so we'll say it again:

There are more hideous people than SJP EVERYWHERE. But THEIR faces are not plastered on 3-story high fragrance posters at the local mall.

She's ugly, for a woman who is supposedly beautiful ... is all.

And her personality ... what one can gather from the story and interviews ... DOESN'T help her at all. She seems vain, shallow, insipid and hopelessly narcissistic ... classic attention-whore with high-maintenance tendencies that any man in his right mind would avoid like a Bulgarian nude beach.

Marla Singer's Laundry: towatchoverme:

Your mom must be VERY proud of you. You're just $4,995 away from being a three diamond girl.

Yeah, since your idea of "sex" is jerking off over the girl in the Snorg Tees ads, I must be some kind of escort/hooker.

There's a few key differences here, Scooter. Maybe you ought to trim your nostril hairs, lose that gut and keep your cock-block-hole closed more often...you might learn that women aren't just images on your monitor for your bishop-choking convenience.

HA HA HA.

You are the best

towatchoverme:

And her personality ... what one can gather from the story and interviews ... DOESN'T help her at all.

This from YOU?

FumblingTowardsSanity: GreatNOD: "She's not ugly! She has the sexiest fivehead around."

I beg to differ...



Also...

I'm assuming that a picture got eaten there. It had better have been of Helena Bonham Carter or Christina Ricci (pre-anorexia) or else we should discuss this matter outside.

FTFA: "It's so brutal in a way, so filled with rage and anger."

Uh, no. I mean sure, the people who proposed you as a choice on the initial list were probably not thinking kind thoughts about you SJP; but the people who voted for you were saying that out of their possible voting choices you were teh fug.

overlord_mike: Marla Singer's Laundry: towatchoverme:

Your mom must be VERY proud of you. You're just $4,995 away from being a three diamond girl.

Yeah, since your idea of "sex" is jerking off over the girl in the Snorg Tees ads, I must be some kind of escort/hooker.

There's a few key differences here, Scooter. Maybe you ought to trim your nostril hairs, lose that gut and keep your cock-block-hole closed more often...you might learn that women aren't just images on your monitor for your bishop-choking convenience.

HA HA HA.

You are the best

For that, you may see my boobs. May.

so, overlord_mike, is your game effective?? Let me try.

*Ahem* Marla Singer's Laundry, show me your tits.


/Did i do it right??

Fark_Q: Go wack it to hentai and/or whatever flavor of the month internet abomination (2g1c?). You can do us a favor by checking out your genes from our gene pool and just knuckle shufflin' till the day you die.

Sarah Jessica Parker? Is that you? I didn't know you farked.

Marla Singer's Laundry: towatchoverme:

Your mom must be VERY proud of you. You're just $4,995 away from being a three diamond girl.

Yeah, since your idea of "sex" is jerking off over the girl in the Snorg Tees ads, I must be some kind of escort/hooker.

There's a few key differences here, Scooter. Maybe you ought to trim your nostril hairs, lose that gut and keep your cock-block-hole closed more often...you might learn that women aren't just images on your monitor for your bishop-choking convenience.

Why does every thread with you in it suddenly become about you?

We get it. Farkers are nothing but Cheeto-stained jerkoff champions who would ... nay, SHOULD ... prostrate themselves before you because the rainbow that shines out of your vagina ends in a pot of gold, GI Joes and free beer.

Leaving aside what sort of sick compulsion makes you crave the attention of people you despise, allow me to say, on behalf of everyone who hasn't fallen for your brazen attention-whoring ... give the shallow, snarling narcissism a rest there, sweetie.

I much prefer real women over frat boys with tits.

Marla Singer's Laundry: towatchoverme:

Your mom must be VERY proud of you. You're just $4,995 away from being a three diamond girl.

Yeah, since your idea of "sex" is jerking off over the girl in the Snorg Tees ads, I must be some kind of escort/hooker.

There's a few key differences here, Scooter. Maybe you ought to trim your nostril hairs, lose that gut and keep your cock-block-hole closed more often...you might learn that women aren't just images on your monitor for your bishop-choking convenience.

Your tiara will be ready by next weekend, my Queen.

/was waiting for that

For that, you may see my boobs. May.

Hmmmm...April?

Selector: so, overlord_mike, is your game effective?? Let me try.

*Ahem* Marla Singer's Laundry, show me your tits.


/Did i do it right??

its no game, i a crude pervert
You see i was being funny and trying to make her laugh, your just trying to see her boobs.

ahhhhh

what were we talking about?

Since it hasn't been done yet...

Lachwen: Holy shiat, THAT face gets Matthew Broderick and I'm left out of his consideration? That tears it, there is no god.

Wow, well take solace, you are way hotter than SJP, and a geek, thats like ultra hot. Remember Matt is short, like really short so don't feel bad.

ranold: Real hot...
*shudders*

I can find a thousand pictures of Angelina Jolie that look just as bad as, if not worse than, that very picture you posted. And yet, a huge percentage of men would lick her shoes if given the chance.

towatchoverme:
I much prefer real women over frat boys with tits.

Uh, yeah, keep telling yourself that. Frat boys with tits? I don't even know what that means.


Why does every thread I appear in become about ME? Because I'm holding a gun to their head, of course. It wouldn't possibly be because I say interesting and sometime annoying things. Nope, it's the Colt Model 1911 .45 I'm holding to your heads to make it so. Yeah, that's it.

where_is_truth: ranold: Real hot...
*shudders*

I can find a thousand pictures of Angelina Jolie that look just as bad as, if not worse than, that very picture you posted. And yet, a huge percentage of men would lick her shoes if given the chance.

Im sorry but i draw the line at licking shoes.... ok maybe the top of her shoes.

Yeah, when your a celebrity there are millions of pics of you and some of them will look really bad.
its just they way things are

Frank Ricard: Since it hasn't been done yet...

Yeah. I'll go away and you guys can argue about whether or not some celebrity whom you will never, ever, ever have a chance with is hot or not.

For most of the rest of you: I don't watch SaTC, but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't let you park her car, let alone your junk in her baby-gate. Just a wild guess here.

Marla Singer's Laundry:

Why does every thread I appear in become about ME? Because I'm holding a gun to their head, of course. It wouldn't possibly be because I say interesting and sometime annoying things. Nope, it's the Colt Model 1911 .45 I'm holding to your heads to make it so. Yeah, that's it.

Thats a good gun, low kickback and accurate.

Marla Singer's Laundry: Why does every thread I appear in become about ME?


Because you have boobs, and you're on fark?? I see a pattern...

almost forgot

slave2grind: If she didn't look so much like Dee Snyder in the face, she would be a-ok in mah book.

remember when she went to a twisted sister show in "flight of the navigator?"

overlord_mike: Marla Singer's Laundry:

Why does every thread I appear in become about ME? Because I'm holding a gun to their head, of course. It wouldn't possibly be because I say interesting and sometime annoying things. Nope, it's the Colt Model 1911 .45 I'm holding to your heads to make it so. Yeah, that's it.

Thats a good gun, low kickback and accurate.

(I had to ask the ball-and-chain about that one. Guys know this stuff. It's a gun I hope...)

Selector: Marla Singer's Laundry: Why does every thread I appear in become about ME?


Because you have boobs, and you're on fark?? I see a pattern...

Well, there's that.

overlord_mike: Yeah, when your a celebrity there are millions of pics of you and some of them will look really bad.
its just they way things are

Was going to say that-- If you photographed a farker 24-7, chances are, some bad photographs would come out, no matter how big his peen is, his stainless steel balls are (thanks to whoever threw that one out on the McGreevey thread before it got canned back to TF), and no matter how many minutes it is until he's going to the gym.

After all, fap-chafe and the wash of pallid computer monitor light are not flattering to a poor Farker on film.

For those of you who at least admitted that personality is the reason you don't find her hot, kudos. Bigger kudos for the guys in here who said smart was sexy. THAT'S sexy.

I used to think, meh, stupid vapid biatches trying to be what they aren't.

Then I realized they were portraying my ex and her vapid roomate.

Never happy.
Nothing is good enough.
Always someone else's fault.

/I'd stick it in her pooper but I'd wipe my dick on the curtains.

Marla Singer's Laundry: I don't even know what that means.

It means you come off in every thread like the kind of girl who shows up at a party yelling shouts-out to her g-friends, stopping every three seconds to check her cell phone and who is eventually is found at the end of the evening with her skirt up over her head, passed out on the bathroom floor clutching a half-empty bottle of Goldschlager.

Frat boy. With tits.

You might be interesting in a few years, when you grow up, and if you can get over yourself. But not now. Not nearly.

jelerter: weird face but hot


Not the Weeners in here about Drew being weird looking...really??? I don't see how she got dragged into a SJP thread. Not even close on the weird looking scale and even further away on the ugly scale. Can we go back to picking on Renee Zellweger of Maggie Gyllgiltymigglty now?

Fark_Q: jeez some of you guys are just too picky. There wouldn't be 7 BILLION unwashed numbers of humanity if everyone was as picky as some of you clowns come off as.

I'd hit like the fist of an angry god for sure. Why? I don't know, she's a woman and reasonably attractive and I have an almost uncontrollable libido. THAT'S WHY. Anything else, you're just being a lying near-virginal picky frat boy.

Go wack it to hentai and/or whatever flavor of the month internet abomination (2g1c?). You can do us a favor by checking out your genes from our gene pool and just knuckle shufflin' till the day you die.

I mostly agree with you. SJP isn't absolutely beautiful to me but she isn't completely unattractive. If I had the chance, I'd hit. However, if another girl I found more attractive came along, I'd pass SJP. Everyone has their preferences, but I think a lot of people realize finding someone physically attractive versus hittable can be two completely different things. There were a few girls in my high school that weren't very pretty in the face that I would hit just because they had more in other areas than the ones with pretty faces.

Pickiness is directly related the quantity and quality of sex being received

Say what you will but SJP has a bonnie set o' teets. Brak said it best; "Nothing brightens a room like an awesome pair o' juggs".

towatchoverme: Marla Singer's Laundry: I don't even know what that means.

It means you come off in every thread like the kind of girl who shows up at a party yelling shouts-out to her g-friends, stopping every three seconds to check her cell phone and who is eventually is found at the end of the evening with her skirt up over her head, passed out on the bathroom floor clutching a half-empty bottle of Goldschlager.

Frat boy. With tits.



So glad you cleared THAT up for us....?


Oh, excuse me while I weep over your rejection, Dr. Lector.

Okay, I'm better!

Frat boys with tits. It's the OTHER other other OTHER white meat.

It's a man, man

She's no Bernadette Peters but that's not her fault.

SJP's pay package for making the Sex in the City movie:



Her bonus:

Marla Singer's Laundry: towatchoverme: Marla Singer's Laundry: I think this show enrages bores the crap out of men because it depicts women doing what you guys are doing right now...being honest about the attractiveness of certain members of the opposite sex blathering on and on about your feelings as though we give a flying fark at a rolling donut.

They We wouldn't hit you either.

FTFY

Had to be done.

Yeah, no one would want me. That's why I had to take my goddamn pic down after 3 days. You think I paid for TF?

Hint:

No.

Oh, right. Um hmmm.

towatchoverme: Marla Singer's Laundry,You might be interesting in a few years, when you grow up, and if you can get over yourself. But not now. Not nearly.

Actually, even though she's probably already spooked by the fact that I suddenly started talking to her, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that she's pretty goddamn interesting for someone around (I think) our age. The girl you described in your post is the product of this brainless celebutante generation that I am ashamed to be a part of (but can't help, by virtue of my birth date), and unfortunately, one I run into all too often. This is decidedly NOT what I think of when I see Marla Singer's Laundry's posts; perhaps you're angry because she won't roll over and play dead for you like every other chick?? Self-confidence is a pretty goddamn rare and hot attribute to find in a woman.

towatchoverme: Marla Singer's Laundry: towatchoverme:

Your mom must be VERY proud of you. You're just $4,995 away from being a three diamond girl.

Yeah, since your idea of "sex" is jerking off over the girl in the Snorg Tees ads, I must be some kind of escort/hooker.

There's a few key differences here, Scooter. Maybe you ought to trim your nostril hairs, lose that gut and keep your cock-block-hole closed more often...you might learn that women aren't just images on your monitor for your bishop-choking convenience.

Why does every thread with you in it suddenly become about you?

We get it. Farkers are nothing but Cheeto-stained jerkoff champions who would ... nay, SHOULD ... prostrate themselves before you because the rainbow that shines out of your vagina ends in a pot of gold, GI Joes and free beer.

Leaving aside what sort of sick compulsion makes you crave the attention of people you despise, allow me to say, on behalf of everyone who hasn't fallen for your brazen attention-whoring ... give the shallow, snarling narcissism a rest there, sweetie.

I much prefer real women over frat boys with tits.

THIS.

Selector: towatchoverme: Marla Singer's Laundry,You might be interesting in a few years, when you grow up, and if you can get over yourself. But not now. Not nearly.

Actually, even though she's probably already spooked by the fact that I suddenly started talking to her, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that she's pretty goddamn interesting for someone around (I think) our age. The girl you described in your post is the product of this brainless celebutante generation that I am ashamed to be a part of (but can't help, by virtue of my birth date), and unfortunately, one I run into all too often. This is decidedly NOT what I think of when I see Marla Singer's Laundry's posts; perhaps you're angry because she won't roll over and play dead for you like every other chick?? Self-confidence is a pretty goddamn rare and hot attribute to find in a woman.

Thanks, I think.

Rose Red:

THIS.

Would it kill you to actually say something not monosyllabic?

"Uh, er, this, um...ya right, totally. SKANK!!!!111:!"