running_too_slow: Well, if my goal had been getting people to look at my picture, it would have been, but I was actually trying to be funny. So in order for a chick to be funny, you have to know what she looks like? HAVE THE FEMINISTS BEEN FIGHTING FOR NOTHING ALL THESE YEARS?

Lemme save you some time and give you the general response you might receive on the internet for that.

Tits or GTFO

YMMV depending on the site and person obviously.

/would still look at your tits

hockeyfarker: ... look, no offense, but that was the best euphemism you could do? I don't even know what the hell "straightening your onesie" means. A onesie? Like those pajamas with the footies?

Phasing your array, or launching your protein torpedo, or assemilating your race, hell, checking your tricorder, anything would have been better than that.

You missed a joke about the Picard Manoever. Your nerd-fu is weak.

Any of you Farkettes wanna see MY dilithium crystals?

littlett's: hockeyfarker: littlett's: Yes, yes, they have all seen the metal bikini ans well as all of the sexy aliens from Star Trek, but they wouldn't know what to do with them if they had them.

I know what to do. I call it "The Picard Maneuver"


Try to seem like you are in one place but actually in another by moving really quickly for a short period of time?

Your response made me curious.

Star Trek Wiki: Picard Maneuver

Your interpretation would be consistent with the Picard Maneuver from the TNG. Granted, I don't know much about Star Trek, but it's on my to do list

hockeyfarker: Mayor Bee: Straightening your onesie?

... look, no offense, but that was the best euphemism you could do? I don't even know what the hell "straightening your onesie" means. A onesie? Like those pajamas with the footies?

Phasing your array, or launching your protein torpedo, or assemilating your race, hell, checking your tricorder, anything would have been better than that.

Bleh, the "Picard Maneuver" was joked as being the move that Picard always did whenever he would stand up or sit down. Where he jerked on his uniform front to straighten it out. Maybe that reference was a little too obscure?

GO GEE GEES!



w00t w00t!

Tat'dGreaser: It's hard to make that second step when sex lasts about 90 seconds. That's why the crying starts.

Just keep practicing. 90 seconds is a long time...sorta. I mean, you can lots of stuff in that period of time. I mean...you certainly couldn't please a woman in that period of time, but you could manage a good cry.

Just think about the shame you are going to feel in 90 seconds and that should get you going in the right direction!

kidsizedcoffin: wh0mprat: blockbustarhymes: I'm taking a men's studies class right now and am getting a kick out of these replies

We just call it "history"

Just like White history months, every month except February.

Exactly. Or Straight Pride day, 364 days a year.*


*365 in Alabama, Iran and China.

littlett's: Accent: I'm an engineer who doesn't know anything about sex - so I am depressed.

It's just takes engineers longer to discover sex. That or sex is more rewarding than discussing the finer parts of Star Trek or Star Wars.

/involved with an engineer.

So you are saying there is hope?

running_too_slow:

cool keyboard.... *stares at pretty glow on screen too long, gets headache*

IdBeCrazyIf: running_too_slow: Well, if my goal had been getting people to look at my picture, it would have been, but I was actually trying to be funny. So in order for a chick to be funny, you have to know what she looks like? HAVE THE FEMINISTS BEEN FIGHTING FOR NOTHING ALL THESE YEARS?

Lemme save you some time and give you the general response you might receive on the internet for that.

Tits or GTFO

YMMV depending on the site and person obviously.

/would still look at your tits

Greater minds than yours have been reduced to shorted-out pocket calculators by these babies.

Seriously, I don't know whether it's more fun to be a chick on the internet or to watch how other chicks behave on the internet.

Not impressed with star trek sex jokes:



Except the one in the middle with the blue uniform. I'ld hit it.

Tat'dGreaser: I know how to please the ladies. I stick my penis into her vagina. Repeat several times. Cry.

That's GOLD Jerry! GOLD!!!

This: Elizabeth I is not amused.

Nor, I imagine, is Queen Victoria, Margaret Thatcher, Kim Campbell, Tansu Ciller, Golda Meir or Benazir Bhutto.

Mayor Bee: protein torpedo

Okay, fair's fair: that's a good one. But you still fail at nerd-points for not knowing the true meaning of the Picard Maneuver.

FunBunLady: I'm a engineer, a woman, AND I like getting it in the butt, so I'm getting 3x the kicks!

How YOU doin?

WTF is queer theory?

Gay navel-gazing.

/I far prefer queer practice

littlett's: Try to seem like you are in one place but actually in another by moving really quickly for a short period of time?

Well, I'm impressed. I didn't even actually know what the maneuver was.

Pxtl: Mayor Bee: protein torpedo

Okay, fair's fair: that's a good one. But you still fail at nerd-points for not knowing the true meaning of the Picard Maneuver.

I didn't say that. I knew the correct Picard Maneuver, but I referenced the I guess less well known joke on it.

FunBunLady: running_too_slow:

cool keyboard.... *stares at pretty glow on screen too long, gets headache*

Thanks! I don't really notice it when I'm using it but I like showing it off to guests. None of whom have given a damn so far but hey, I'm optimistic.

Tat'dGreaser: It's measured in pounds per minute. Hard to get good data, not enough time for samples.

What about good old "miles per hour"?

running_too_slow: FunBunLady: running_too_slow:

cool keyboard.... *stares at pretty glow on screen too long, gets headache*

Thanks! I don't really notice it when I'm using it but I like showing it off to guests. None of whom have given a damn so far but hey, I'm optimistic.

Oooh, I hadn't even noticed the keyboard.

/switches ogling to keyboard.

Mayor Bee: Pxtl: Mayor Bee: protein torpedo

Okay, fair's fair: that's a good one. But you still fail at nerd-points for not knowing the true meaning of the Picard Maneuver.

I didn't say that. I knew the correct Picard Maneuver, but I referenced the I guess less well known joke on it.

Whoop, my bad.

running_too_slow: Insert comment piquing Farkers' sexual interests and thereby getting my ego all stroked up here.

I thought it was funny... Cute pic too.

Tat'dGreaser: I'm starting a new descriptive word, "sex troll". They come into sex discussion threads and say things like, "hey, I love to do all those naughty things your wife doesn't do". Of course they have no pictures or a description in their profile. I'm just waiting for them to link a webcam.

There's already a term. It's called Attention Whore

The problem is, most men seem to think they're hilarious, and never more so than when they're insulting someone, and especially when they're insulting women who won't fark them. Because once a woman makes it clear she's not gonna put out, there's no reason to be nice to her. Duh. That's practically in every fraternity charter.

Second, most women (from my experience) have no sense of humor whatsoever, and not just the uptight man-hating ones. Humor and/or intelligence aren't valued in women, so most don't bother cultivating them. Once women have kids, that's it for whatever speck of humor they might have once had. Motherhood is an endless series of opportunities to express how offended they are by things. You know, for the children. It's perfect for the attention whore who's bored by scrapbooking or planning school functions or her loveless marriage.

As for women's studies professors - eh, I think they get tenure based on how many outraged letters to the administration they produce every year. Publish or perish, you know.

wh0mprat: What about good old "miles per hour"?

Yeah, but do you just count in strokes or both in and out strokes to get your "mileage"?

Wouldn't RPM's be a better guage?

Mayor Bee: Bleh, the "Picard Maneuver" was joked as being the move that Picard always did whenever he would stand up or sit down. Where he jerked on his uniform front to straighten it out. Maybe that reference was a little too obscure?

Ah. Well, perhaps it is true that my nerd-fu is weak. I would have thought it was called a tunic, maybe. A onesie? Over my head, I guess. Sorry.

Ohm's law anyone?

Something about resisting anal sex...or was it saying "ohm" when having butt sex?

Arthur Jumbles: You know, a link to the offending article would be helpful. Personally, I think the professor is probably overreacting because I can't believe engineering students would be able to write intelligibly about a topic they've never experienced but I'd like to see the article itself before I make my judgement.

I'm an engineer and myself and my calculator found that farking hilarious.

That little shirt-straightening thing that Picard did always bugged me... in the future we are able to get rid of hunger, racism, and poverty, but we still need to wear slips?

/whatever - Picard made everything look cool anyway
//is sometimes very disturbed when I catch myself doing the same thing...

cjshrader: There's already a term. It's called Attention Whore

Yep. Although a recent movement among Farkers has observed that we're all Attention Whores hoping for that sweet kiss of "This" or "Thread Over" or even "New Keyboard!" as a means of validating our pathetic existences, so having some boobies to look at while doing it isn't really anything to complain about.

As such, the sex-threadjacking order of Fark perverts was born.

atate_esq: wh0mprat: What about good old "miles per hour"?

Yeah, but do you just count in strokes or both in and out strokes to get your "mileage"?

Wouldn't RPM's be a better guage?

I think "rods to the hogshead" would be appropriate here

Tat'dGreaser: cjshrader: There's already a term. It's called Attention Whore

Well they have pics in their profiles.

Oh my mistake, you are correct. This is a new breed of AW indeed. Sex Troll it is then, and I guess the scientific name will be trolligus tat'dGreaserdon, after their discoverer.

cjshrader: There's already a term. It's called Attention Whore

BACK OFF!!!

I need them man! I need to know they are out there....even if it's a lie!

/Looks for dignity.
//Can't find it.

Tat'dGreaser: AlwaysRightBoy: diameter.............hoz. to ver. ratio?...............Pounds per square inch formula....ehe Mr Engineer.

It's measured in pounds per minute. Hard to get good data, not enough time for samples.

Speak for yourself.

Pxtl: cjshrader: There's already a term. It's called Attention Whore

Yep. Although a recent movement among Farkers has observed that we're all Attention Whores hoping for that sweet kiss of "This" or "Thread Over" or even "New Keyboard!" as a means of validating our pathetic existences, so having some boobies to look at while doing it isn't really anything to complain about.

As such, the sex-threadjacking order of Fark perverts was born.

This

littlett's: Tat'dGreaser: littlett's: I guess you can say that. But I had to snare him.

ORLY?

Something like that. But replace the candy with Optimus Prime.

Yep - and a TI-89

theoriginalslash: The problem is, most men seem to think they're hilarious, and never more so than when they're insulting someone, and especially when they're insulting women who won't fark them. Because once a woman makes it clear she's not gonna put out, there's no reason to be nice to her. Duh. That's practically in every fraternity charter.

I think you're mixing up cause-and-effect here. Guys trash-talk. It's what they do. They only stop the trash-talking for a chance at nookie. Once the nookie is impossible, they return to trash-talking. Women assume this is because they're mocking the ladies that don't put out for them, when it's actually simply them returning to treating the woman like any other person instead of potential poon.

hockeyfarker: Ah. Well, perhaps it is true that my nerd-fu is weak. I would have thought it was called a tunic, maybe. A onesie? Over my head, I guess. Sorry.

Naah, maybe it was my extreme nerditude that made me say onesie. That and having gone to a baby shower recently. It's all good.

littlett's: Tat'dGreaser: littlett's: I guess you can say that. But I had to snare him.

ORLY?

Something like that. But replace the candy with Optimus Prime.

What man can turn down Prime

running_too_slow: FunBunLady: running_too_slow:

cool keyboard.... *stares at pretty glow on screen too long, gets headache*

Thanks! I don't really notice it when I'm using it but I like showing it off to guests. None of whom have given a damn so far but hey, I'm optimistic.

But can you Google in the dark with it?

Pxtl: Yep. Although a recent movement among Farkers has observed that we're all Attention Whores hoping for that sweet kiss of "This" or "Thread Over" or even "New Keyboard!" as a means of validating our pathetic existences, so having some boobies to look at while doing it isn't really anything to complain about.

As such, the sex-threadjacking order of Fark perverts was born.

/Thread over!
//+1
///Would read again.
////Excellent Ebayer!