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(Kansas City)   Your social security number will determine when your stimulus check will be sent. For some of you, have a seat. We will talk to you next year   (kansascity.com) divider line 166
    More: Asinine  
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34025 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Mar 2008 at 1:11 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-03-18 12:19:37 AM
FTA: "According to the IRS, direct deposit payments will be made May 2 to recipients whose Social Security numbers end in 00-20."

Yee-ha... I'm an XX06. I can get the money and spend it before my taxes go up to pay for the XX99 checks.
 
2008-03-18 12:21:34 AM
04 baby! F all y'all!
 
amo [TotalFark]
2008-03-18 12:22:54 AM
It didn't mention which SSN would be used for joint filings. I guess we'll find out, as hubby and I are in different schedules.
 
2008-03-18 12:30:11 AM
I've changed banks since the filing my last tax return.

I'm so totally getting a mailed check and it will be sometime in June.. or so they say.

Anyway, I'm going to do what they tell me not to. I'm going to send that money straight off to pay debt.

I've got no need or desire to send the money we borrowed from China to prop up our economy back to China to buy their crap.

Just not in the mood.
 
2008-03-18 12:36:21 AM
Uncle Sugar decided I make too much to be "stimulated" by giving me back some of my own hard earned money.

Bastard.
 
2008-03-18 12:42:17 AM
Well. Since I used direct deposit for my tax filing, I will apparently get it within the first two weeks.
 
2008-03-18 12:45:51 AM
I don't get a check at all. :(

/I would have stimulated the economy by buying a PS3
 
2008-03-18 12:45:59 AM
I'm donating mine to the Bush Liebrary!
 
2008-03-18 12:55:40 AM
According to the IRS, direct deposit payments will be made May 2 to recipients whose Social Security numbers end in 00-20.

Direct deposit payments will be made a week later, May 9, to people whose numbers end in 21-75. The final round of direct deposit payments will be made May 16 to people whose numbers end in 76-99.


Cool deal! Though I'm still a little sketchy about the IRS having my bank account info.
 
2008-03-18 12:57:46 AM
We should buy plastic crap made in China at Wal-Mart instead of making credit card or mortgage payments.
that's the 'merican thing to do, right?
 
2008-03-18 01:14:23 AM
Suck my colon.
 
2008-03-18 01:17:11 AM
xx13 for me. direct deposit means i get mine on may 2nd. sweet.

/needs a new bed
 
2008-03-18 01:17:25 AM
Looks like the weekend of May 9th I'll be gettin me some hookers and blow!

/marks calendar
 
2008-03-18 01:17:49 AM
I'm spending mine at local businesses.

/and that's all I'm telling the wife
 
2008-03-18 01:18:17 AM
Shaggy_C:
Cool deal! Though I'm still a little sketchy about the IRS having my bank account info.


You think they don't already have it?
 
2008-03-18 01:18:35 AM
woo hoo! I get mine last!

How about you just credit it to my account. I owe.

That's what I get for being self-employed and prosperous.
 
2008-03-18 01:21:04 AM
im towards the middle or end.

i end in -31.

it'll be directly deposited. Im first putting it into the bank and will figure out what to do with it later. On one hand, i need an external Hard Drive, but i dont want to buy one just because i have the extra cash. I COULD buy one now, but ive waited.

i hate spending money i dont need to. i hardly eat, let alone spend money on crap.
 
2008-03-18 01:21:17 AM
Gosh, I wonder how many illegals using stolen SS numbers will be cashing their checks and wiring the money home. Not many I'm sure since they are all honest, hard-working individuals.
 
2008-03-18 01:26:24 AM
Seriously? I'm at the way end :( I hate being last. I'm glad I got direct deposit.
 
2008-03-18 01:26:46 AM
I can't wait until we all have barcodes on our hands. It will make things so much easier.
 
2008-03-18 01:26:46 AM
Hmm, maybe I should actually print my return and file it?

/Seriously. I filled the damned thing out in January, but never sent it in.
 
2008-03-18 01:27:04 AM
Shaggy_C: Though I'm still a little sketchy about the IRS having my bank account info.

If you received your tax return via direct deposit, then you already gave it to them, right?
 
2008-03-18 01:27:41 AM
D'oh.

/last batch
 
2008-03-18 01:27:48 AM
Wife insists on getting a paper check, and I with no balls and a SSN ending in "89" has to wait until mid-July for the money.

...which I won't be permitted to spend, anyway, so I guess it's all moot. I'll try to make it look like I'm enjoying whatever ugly decorative crap shows up in the endless parade of boxes from QVC that's bound to start coming in my door a week after the check arrives.

/Somebody please put me out of my misery
 
2008-03-18 01:29:38 AM
wowzer97pooh: Gosh, I wonder how many illegals using stolen SS numbers will be cashing their checks and wiring the money home. Not many I'm sure since they are all honest, hard-working individuals.

Your ignorance of how illegals use SSNs is astounding. So just let the adults talk, ok? The IRS actually knows who is who and what's legit. As long as they get the obligatory Medicare and SS withholding payments from the employer, they don't care. It's rare that the actual owner of the SSN doesn't get his refund. It's why accountants and tax preparers have to follow due diligence laws.
 
2008-03-18 01:30:42 AM
phaseolus: Wife insists on getting a paper check, and I with no balls and a SSN ending in "89" has to wait until mid-July for the money.

...which I won't be permitted to spend, anyway, so I guess it's all moot. I'll try to make it look like I'm enjoying whatever ugly decorative crap shows up in the endless parade of boxes from QVC that's bound to start coming in my door a week after the check arrives.

/Somebody please put me out of my misery


Sorry I can't help you. I only have one bullet left and I'm saving it for when they cancel 30 Rock.
 
2008-03-18 01:34:07 AM
About 15 years ago, I had fun freaking out one of those AOL guides by going into the new member chat room and asking why I just got an instant message saying I needed to give them my password. The guide told me to change my password immediately. I came back 5 minutes later and said, "I just changed it to XR56TH. They'll never guess that one!" Needless to say, the guide freaked out and lectured me to never give out my password in a chat room. I left to "change my password" again, then came back into the chat room only to say, "I'm keeping my password private this time, but can you check to make sure nobody logged in and messed with my account information? I'm billing it to my Visa, # 4126 0000 5454 6111". I was amazed at how long I was able to keep this up before the guide realized that I must be playing with them.

I suspect that there will be numerous fake social security numbers posted to this thread and even more people who freak out thinking it's real.
 
2008-03-18 01:39:49 AM
This is an outrage! What a stupid way to give out money!!! Why don't they go by last names or first names or even middle names! Seriously, I can't think of any other way the government can fail...

*counts again*

I'm xxx-xx-xx01! This is the best idea ever! Finally someone gets it right! Perfect! Job well done!
 
2008-03-18 01:42:34 AM
xtex 2008-03-18 12:45:51 AM
I don't get a check at all. :(

/I would have stimulated the economy by buying a PS3


heh I used my 07 return to get a semi broken one off ebay for 270$ then spent another $60 for the replacement part and voila! I have a 60gb system. gonna use my stimulus check to get me a cd, just wondering if that colombia house thing will work and how many of those 12 for a penny ones I can get.

/last two are 26 whoo hoo for stimulating the economy
 
2008-03-18 01:44:44 AM
How are they determining if you get the direct deposit or the check?

Is it based off how you got your tax return?

If it is, I'm a 19, and had DD before, so I should get mine beginning of may. Hellz yeah.
 
2008-03-18 01:46:12 AM
wp19wp19wp19:

Please. Please, tell me this is a joke.

Your SSN is not something to fark around with, and joking about it isn't any better.


It's clearly a joke, but why would you think it would be bad to joke about it? I know we're conditioned to panic when it comes to identity theft, but the truth is that nobody can do much damage if all they have is the SS#. They can't open credit in your name without also having your name and your DOB. They can't access your bank accounts without the account number or name/address. They could, I suppose, create a fake SS card with the number on it to try to show false proof of residency or get a job, but if the name doesn't match then they won't get very far. Half the numbers in your SS# are determined by the state in which you live when you apply for the number and the year in which it is issued. If the SS# by itself was some magic key for identity theft, we would all be screwed because, as you can see from the joke posts here, anyone could just make up numbers with a good chance that the number matches up to somebody.
 
2008-03-18 01:50:12 AM
ecmoRandomNumbers: wowzer97pooh: Gosh, I wonder how many illegals using stolen SS numbers will be cashing their checks and wiring the money home. Not many I'm sure since they are all honest, hard-working individuals.

Your ignorance of how illegals use SSNs is astounding. So just let the adults talk, ok? The IRS actually knows who is who and what's legit. As long as they get the obligatory Medicare and SS withholding payments from the employer, they don't care. It's rare that the actual owner of the SSN doesn't get his refund. It's why accountants and tax preparers have to follow due diligence laws.


I'm sure every employer of illegals with stolen SSN numbers reports their employment to the federals. We had one fast food chain open twenty four hours a day. They reported one employee per store to the feds. I know how employers and illegals work together. I also like to watch the illegals buying stolen numbers in the Walmart and Home Depot parking lot. Illegals help felonious employers and street gangs. Ain't that great.

Quit patronizing people. Ok? Thanks.
 
2008-03-18 01:53:52 AM
Stirfry: It is indeed based on whether you got your tax rebate this year by DD or by check. If you didn't get a rebate, there was still an option to give your DD info in there. Otherwise, you get a check.

I had my tax returns direct deposited, so kickass!
 
2008-03-18 01:54:01 AM
wowzer97pooh: I'm sure every employer of illegals with stolen SSN numbers reports their employment to the federals.

And you think that illegal actually files a tax return with a correct address or direct deposit account in it, using a stolen SSN?

They use the stolen SSN to get/keep the job, that doesn't mean they actually file a tax return, c'mon....
 
2008-03-18 01:54:04 AM
whitefangz: They could, I suppose, create a fake SS card with the number on it to try to show false proof of residency or get a job

Bingo!

Mine was "borrowed" by a man named José for that exact purpose.

/not José
 
2008-03-18 01:55:21 AM
Subby: For some of you, have a seat.

Do you want me to have a seat right over there?
 
2008-03-18 01:55:31 AM
my social security number is
8675309
heh
meh
 
2008-03-18 01:55:35 AM
Stirfry: Gregory F. Stuart: That stupid farker posted the numbers of my SSN.

Didn't you dumb coonts think that, even if you are just typing random numbers, you might actually manage to type out someone's real SSN?

First off, I'm still going to assume you're joking. Secondly, if you're actually not, you should realize that no one would have paid any attention to it at all unless you called attention to it. If by some remote chance you really aren't kidding, you've just made your problem a billion times worse, instead of just using Farkback or something...

thejoz: How are they determining if you get the direct deposit or the check?
Is it based off how you got your tax return?

It is indeed based on whether you got your tax rebate this year by DD or by check. If you didn't get a rebate, there was still an option to give your DD info in there. Otherwise, you get a check.

wowzer97pooh: Gosh, I wonder how many illegals using stolen SS numbers will be cashing their checks and wiring the money home. Not many I'm sure since they are all honest, hard-working individuals.

Ummm... only the illegals actually filing income tax returns? Since you only get a check if you file a return? If you actually think they are filing returns on *stolen* SS numbers, then you must be assuming the IRS just wouldn't notice the same SS# being used on two different returns?

At least have some basis in fact before you try to fear-monger an immigration argument, c'mon.


yeah, I'm sure every person cashing a check at cash for checks stores is going to be the actual filer of the return. Checks stolen out of mailboxes by illegals on bicycles? Never heard of it. Except the guy that did that to us, while I watched him do it. With a smile on his face.
 
2008-03-18 02:01:01 AM
wowzer97pooh: yeah, I'm sure every person cashing a check at cash for checks stores is going to be the actual filer of the return. Checks stolen out of mailboxes by illegals on bicycles? Never heard of it. Except the guy that did that to us, while I watched him do it. With a smile on his face.

Okay, I'm just going to grab a seat over here with some popcorn. Continue on with blaming the problems of the world on illegal immigrants. If you can blame them for the Holocaust or the War in Iraq or whatever, you get bonus points. Have a blast.
 
2008-03-18 02:02:58 AM
Great. Mine ends with 95.
 
2008-03-18 02:05:14 AM
Social security is neither social nor secure. discuss.

/oh yeah...and when do we get our $500 billion back?
 
2008-03-18 02:17:02 AM
GDammit! July 4th.

/not buying any fireworks this year
 
2008-03-18 02:17:52 AM
I don't mind douchebags but I think paranoia brings out the worst in them. They seem to all be staring at me.
 
2008-03-18 02:20:36 AM
Tommy Tutone's SSN: 867-5309

/had to do it
 
2008-03-18 02:28:50 AM
I owe a the IRS. I don't plan on seeing shiat.
 
2008-03-18 02:28:56 AM
Moderator: Please do not post SSN's in this thread, thanks.

Well, it's really the length of something I hold dear. It's not my fault it takes 9 digits cover it.
 
2008-03-18 02:31:37 AM
I'm getting a passport with mine, and spending my money in other countries, this place is farked.
 
2008-03-18 02:31:38 AM
I wish there was a check box to tell them to just keep it. I owe them this year, my employer didn't hold enough back. I'm sending them a check for more than I bought my last car for on April 14th.
 
2008-03-18 02:31:52 AM
phaseolus: Wife insists on getting a paper check, and I with no balls and a SSN ending in "89" has to wait until mid-July for the money.

...which I won't be permitted to spend, anyway, so I guess it's all moot. I'll try to make it look like I'm enjoying whatever ugly decorative crap shows up in the endless parade of boxes from QVC that's bound to start coming in my door a week after the check arrives.

/Somebody please put me out of my misery


Dude, get some farking counseling

/seriously
 
2008-03-18 02:33:28 AM
I'm gonna use my check to fund a little project I've been kicking around. I'm gonna write a book about how stupid and worthless this stimulus package is and how nobody will be able to do anything meaningful with it.
 
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