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(Blasphemes)   The pressing issue of the day: How long was Luke's training on Daghoba?   (blasphemes.blogspot.com ) divider line 327
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22102 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Mar 2008 at 3:06 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-03-11 03:22:56 PM  
img142.imageshack.us
"The answer is... four?"
 
2008-03-11 03:23:04 PM  
icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com
 
2008-03-11 03:23:17 PM  
someone should really do something about that anonymous poster on TFA.
 
2008-03-11 03:23:21 PM  
Also, how long did it take to go from Tantoonie to Alderon? Because, Luke got a lot of training in from Obi-wan during that flight.
 
2008-03-11 03:24:14 PM  
Thank God for Robot Chicken...

Palpatine: [on the phone with Darth Vader] Vader! How's my favorite Sith?... Whoa whoa whoa... whoa, whoa. Just - slow down. Huh? What do you mean they blew up the Death Star? fark! Oh, fark! fark! fark!... Who's "they"?... What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?
[sighs]
Palpatine: OK, OK, so who's left?... Are you shiatting me?... Well, where are you?... Wait a sec, you've been flying around for two weeks trying to get a signal?... Oh, you must smell like... feet wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon... Oh, oh, oh! Oh, I'm sorry, I thought my Dark Lord of the Sith could protect a small thermal exhaust port that's only two meters wide! That thing wasn't even fully paid off yet!... Do you - do you have ANY idea what this is going to do to my credit?
[phone beeps, he sighs]
Palpatine: Hang on, I've got another call.
[switches line]
Palpatine: WHAT? I'm very busy right now!... Oh! Oh, well - well, where are they going?... Oh, all right, uh... just get me a turkey club... Um, coleslaw, I guess. I'm not even gonna eat it... Well, what are you getting?... See, I always order the wrong thing. No, no, I'll just stick with that. OK, bye - what?... Oh, uh, Cherry Coke. Thanks.
[switches line]
Palpatine: Sorry about that.
[sighs]
Palpatine: What?... Oh, oh, "just rebuild it"? Oh, real farking original. And who's going to give me a loan, jackhole, you?... You got an ATM on that torso Lite-Brite? Now get your seven-foot-two asthmatic ass back here, or I'm going to tell everyone what a whiny biatch you were about Padama-may or Panda Bear or whatever the hell her name is!...
[covers receiver]
Palpatine: Oh, jeez, he's crying!
[giggles, then into phone]
Palpatine: Hey, hey, hey, hey. C'mon. C'mon, don't do that. Just - just. Look, you know, I'm just dealing with a lot of crap right now. Death Star blown up by a bunch of farkin' teenagers, you know? I didn't mean to snap.
[makes "jack-off" motion]
Palpatine: Oh, uh - just get back here. OK. OK. Bye. I... um... I...
Palpatine: [whispers into phone] I love you, too.
 
2008-03-11 03:24:48 PM  
honk: Han Solo's a little slow on it, though.

Man, a lot of people joking, but I'm going to assume someone doesn't know.

The Kessel Run is where one gets spice from the space mines of Kessel and hurries it back to somewhere else. Unfortunately, Kessel is surrounded by an unusual number of black holes.

In order to get out of Kessel, one must be able to skirt the edges of thes black holes and do their best to cut a straight line out of there. The faster your ship runs, the closer you can skirt to a black hole's rim, the straighter your path can be. Therefore, describing how short the distance of Solo's trip was did shed light as to how fast the Falcon could go.
 
2008-03-11 03:25:57 PM  
superman go faster? a diet of cabbage, beans, and roasted garlic.

there was a japanese "super" hero that was propelled this way.
 
2008-03-11 03:26:25 PM  
LeiaFest - semi-SFW (new window)
 
2008-03-11 03:26:53 PM  
hiiamchris: Gonad the Ballbarian: flixter: I think he was there for a few thousand parsecs.

"Um, isn't a parsec a unit of distance, not time?"



/hehe

AHHH. hate when that happens.


Please dear god! MAKE IT STOP!

/Han Shot First
//Hey George
///STOP RAPING MY CHILD HOOD
 
2008-03-11 03:28:28 PM  
Sybarite: Well let's see:

He used the Force.

He picked up a box.


He cut a hole in the box...
 
2008-03-11 03:28:41 PM  
mtman900: honk: Han Solo's a little slow on it, though.

Man, a lot of people joking, but I'm going to assume someone doesn't know.

The Kessel Run is where one gets spice from the space mines of Kessel and hurries it back to somewhere else. Unfortunately, Kessel is surrounded by an unusual number of black holes.

In order to get out of Kessel, one must be able to skirt the edges of thes black holes and do their best to cut a straight line out of there. The faster your ship runs, the closer you can skirt to a black hole's rim, the straighter your path can be. Therefore, describing how short the distance of Solo's trip was did shed light as to how fast the Falcon could go.


And therefore - Less Than 12 Parsecs

/what was yoda doing with luke's black hole?
 
2008-03-11 03:28:52 PM  
MMmmmmmmm....Leia Metal Bikini....

Fap Fap Fap (new window)
 
2008-03-11 03:28:56 PM  
Adam Baum: LeiaFest - semi-SFW (new window)

Front row, left side--is that a man?
 
2008-03-11 03:28:56 PM  
I'd say three, maybe four days. He was part of the Accelerated Jedi Program...
 
2008-03-11 03:29:57 PM  
i63.photobucket.com
I'm sorry, the correct answer is, "Who gives a shiat?"
 
2008-03-11 03:30:02 PM  
is there any way I can administer a wedgie via the internet... methinks one is deserved here.
 
2008-03-11 03:30:04 PM  
Hey EvilElecBlanket, was that shot from the Detroit Comic Con last year, or do those girls just travel a lot?

/Yes, I followed them awhile
 
2008-03-11 03:30:23 PM  
Adam Baum: LeiaFest - semi-SFW (new window)

I'll take the second from the right, everyone else can have the remains
 
2008-03-11 03:30:28 PM  
How am I the first person to point out that it's spelled Dagobah and not Daghoba? I mean, Christ people. You're all hyperanalyzing these little details and missing the huge one. The planet named is misspelled. I mean, what the fark is going on? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills... and someone else spelled planets Tantooine and Alderon... what is going on here? Dear Lord, I'm just speechless, absolutely speechless. What kind of geeks are you guys?
 
2008-03-11 03:30:34 PM  
BlorfMaster: Yeah Sure: "How does Superman fly faster? I get that he can fly, I accept that. I just want to know how he flies faster. It's the only part I don't understand. What, does he have different settings? "Oh this is my cruising speed when I one arm it with a biatch." I just want some nerd to come up to me after the show "Yeah well when the planet exploded..." and then I'll tell you what a vagina feels like."

I always thought it was sort of like squeezing some internal muscle, like when you take a dump. You can either let your sphincter relax and jsut sort of let it slide out, or you can squeeze hard and make it shoot into the toilet with an audible 'plop' into the water.


I made the kegel run in just under 7 inches.
 
2008-03-11 03:31:08 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: EvilElecBlanket

The paler one is sucking her stomach in too much.


And the other's green panties doesn't bother you?
 
2008-03-11 03:31:11 PM  
i273.photobucket.com
 
2008-03-11 03:32:20 PM  
Kwisatzhaderach: Adam Baum: LeiaFest - semi-SFW (new window)

I'll take the second from the right, everyone else can have the remains


Okay, I'm not sure I want to ask this, but what are you planning on doing with her that all that will be left is "remains?"
 
2008-03-11 03:32:21 PM  
I always figured it took at least several months, if not more than a year, most of which Han and Leia spent in the worm farking. What I really want to know is how long between the end of Episode IV and the start of Episode V. And how exactly did the guy who got passed over for promotion to general react when he found out that Lando Calrissian got the job?
 
Pav
2008-03-11 03:32:26 PM  
From TFA

Oh, and the Clones were all Boba Fetts and BAD GUYS in my version... there weren't any stupid Droid armies.


OK this is where I stoped reading. In fact the Clones WERE all Boba Fetts. The droid armies had nothing to do with the clones.

Nerdy yes?
 
2008-03-11 03:32:27 PM  
And they leave out the part where Han runs into this:

i273.photobucket.com
 
2008-03-11 03:32:58 PM  
www.onedigitallife.com
 
2008-03-11 03:33:04 PM  
What the hell is a Daghoba?
 
2008-03-11 03:33:07 PM  
I just added it up

47 years, 3 months, 4 days, 3 hours, 45 minutes....give or take a WHO GIVES A FARK!?!?!
 
2008-03-11 03:33:42 PM  
Adam Baum: LeiaFest - semi-SFW (new window)

I'll be in my bunk
 
2008-03-11 03:33:45 PM  
Barricaded Gunman: Hey EvilElecBlanket, was that shot from the Detroit Comic Con last year, or do those girls just travel a lot?

I'm pretty sure it's the same.
 
2008-03-11 03:34:15 PM  
Don't know

Don't care

(Always looks at SW fans with the >.> face.)
 
vid
2008-03-11 03:34:17 PM  
Here's my theory. You people who read the books and shiat probably have a reason to tell me I'm wrong, but if your information just comes from the three movies, this kinda makes sense.

The galaxy in question is much, much smaller and denser than ours.

This explains why interplanetary travel is a matter of routine when a "jump to lightspeed" is considered a big deal which lets you outrun the cops. The stars are relatively close to each other.

It also explains why "deep space" in the setting is so noisy... The galaxy is so dense that there is still some gas in the emptiness of space.

One thing I would like explained is how a sword made of light, which is intense enough to effortlessly cut through steel support beams, occasionally knocks people over instead of slicing through them. Is there a "flat side" to the blade?
 
2008-03-11 03:34:44 PM  
Adam Baum: LeiaFest - semi-SFW (new window)

The tall blonde directly in front of Jabba obviously got lost on her way to the hot girl convention.
 
2008-03-11 03:35:57 PM  
WarningMayContainPeanuts: What the hell is a Daghoba?

Well, let's break it down. Dag, now that's easy. Everyone knows about Dagwood sandwiches. Ho, well, everyone needs a little ho every now and then. Ba? Hmm, Baa, must be a sheep. Okay, I think I've got it, It's a Sammich threesome with you inbetween a ho and a sheep. I think the sheep's ramming.
 
2008-03-11 03:36:35 PM  
rocinante721: I hosted a TFD on this.

Either Luke trained for about a week, or it took the Falcon about 6 months without Hyperdrive to get from detaching from the Imperial Cruiser to Cloud City, with the Fett in tow.


I favor the idea of it being maybe a week or two, for two reasons. One, when the gang arrived at Bespin, Han's hair and beard weren't significantly grown, and they were wearing the same clothes. Sure, maybe Leia could have cut Han and Chewie's hair along the way, and Han could have kept shaving and all, but if they were wearing the same clothes for 6 months, it would have tears, and sweat stains and whatnot. Han may have had spare clothes on board, but Leia certainly didn't.


The latter would explain the time needed for Luke's proficiency to back-flip over logs & levitate crap, as well as to explain the decent pre-planning Vader had in order to ambush Han & Leia at Bespin.


Consider that Luke already had an innate talent with the force, as evidenced by his performance with the training ball. Yoda merely taught him to focus it. When it comes down to it, all we really saw was Luke doing some parlor tricks. He didn't learn anything significant like force mind trick, and he wasn't able to lift the X-Wing. I liken it to if you have a person who's able to add double digit numbers together, it doesn't take so much effort to teach them to add 7-digit numbers together. As such, I don't think it would take him so long to learn to do the things we saw him do on Degobah.

I don't think the empire would have needed too much of a head start to ambush Han and company. Once Boba had a idea of where they were heading, he could send a signal to Vader, and a Star Destroyer would get there at warp light speed and be ready. The empire wouldn't wait 6 months to wait in ambush, when if they knew were the falcon was, they would just ambush it in space. Lastly, consider that the gang regrouped with the rebel fleet at the end of the movie. If they were really 6 months out from the evacuation of Hoth, the fleet would have moved on. Sure, they would have eventually found it again, but they couldn't have gone there directly.
 
2008-03-11 03:36:39 PM  
Even more pressing question: How long was Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru's corpses smoldering in the sand before Luke arrived back home with Obi Wan?
 
2008-03-11 03:37:06 PM  
mtman900: Man, a lot of people joking, but I'm going to assume someone doesn't know.

The Kessel Run is where one gets spice from the space mines of Kessel and hurries it back to somewhere else. Unfortunately, Kessel is surrounded by an unusual number of black holes.

In order to get out of Kessel, one must be able to skirt the edges of thes black holes and do their best to cut a straight line out of there. The faster your ship runs, the closer you can skirt to a black hole's rim, the straighter your path can be. Therefore, describing how short the distance of Solo's trip was did shed light as to how fast the Falcon could go.


Ding! Anddddddddddd this is why I will never really be able to participate as deeply as I want to in one of these threads. Even on the anonymous internets I'm afraid that I may just reveal that I am/was this steeped in nerd fiction.

But if I was to guess about Skywalker's time on Daghoba, I'd say a month or two tops. Lucas proved with 1-3 that a deep backstory isn't really something he has in mind. He probably didn't have a clue himself when he wrote Empire.
 
2008-03-11 03:37:23 PM  
George Lucas and continuity is like a politician and the truth. Both species are just not capable of grasping the concepts. My thoughts about Mr. Lucas have always been he really just pulled the whole nine-episode story arc out of his arse when Star Wars became a hit. Sure there were things he probably wanted to have put in Star Wars that he couldn't due to time and budget constraints, but really...c'mon a full nine episode arc. To many inconsistencies for me. Loved the movies but methinks he added a whole bunch of mythmaking about his "vision".....
 
2008-03-11 03:37:42 PM  
i216.photobucket.com
 
2008-03-11 03:38:37 PM  
And moreover, to go back to topic, in RETURN OF THE JEDI Luke comes back to complete his training , after getting so much grief for leaving in the first place, and basically he is told he's done!

WTF?
 
2008-03-11 03:38:55 PM  
For christs sake, it's Dagobah. If you're going to analyze this so in depth, SPELL THE NAME RIGHT.
 
2008-03-11 03:39:27 PM  
vid
One thing I would like explained is how a sword made of light, which is intense enough to effortlessly cut through steel support beams, occasionally knocks people over instead of slicing through them. Is there a "flat side" to the blade?

To prevent Return of the Jedi from getting a PG-13 or R-rating for containing repeated scenes in which creatures get cut in half.

Seriously, that's how.
 
2008-03-11 03:39:45 PM  
HappyHarryHardOn: And moreover, to go back to topic, in RETURN OF THE JEDI Luke comes back to complete his training , after getting so much grief for leaving in the first place, and basically he is told he's done!

That always did piss me off.
 
2008-03-11 03:39:57 PM  
nanded: Han may have had spare clothes on board, but Leia certainly didn't.

I always thought that Lando hooked her up with some pimp Bespin dresses and whatnot.
 
2008-03-11 03:40:05 PM  
WarningMayContainPeanuts: What the hell is a Daghoba?

Where the Italians go to drink?
 
2008-03-11 03:40:12 PM  
And moreover, to go back to topic, in RETURN OF THE JEDI Luke comes back to complete his training , after getting so much grief for leaving in the first place, and basically he is told he's done!

WTF?

Maybe he took the rest of it by correspondance?
 
2008-03-11 03:40:53 PM  
samimgreen: WarningMayContainPeanuts: What the hell is a Daghoba?

Well, let's break it down. Dag, now that's easy. Everyone knows about Dagwood sandwiches. Ho, well, everyone needs a little ho every now and then. Ba? Hmm, Baa, must be a sheep. Okay, I think I've got it, It's a Sammich threesome with you inbetween a ho and a sheep. I think the sheep's ramming.


I thought it was something you said after an Italian leaves the room.
 
2008-03-11 03:41:16 PM  
RegDunlop: And moreover, to go back to topic, in RETURN OF THE JEDI Luke comes back to complete his training , after getting so much grief for leaving in the first place, and basically he is told he's done!

WTF?

Maybe he took the rest of it by correspondance?


OJT
 
2008-03-11 03:41:41 PM  
He would have learned more if he did a montage.

Montage!
 
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