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(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)   If you recently were generous enough to make a donation of a box of grenades to Goodwill, the police think you're the bomb   (post-gazette.com) divider line 74
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6146 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Mar 2008 at 3:49 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-03-05 02:29:01 PM
+ 1
 
2008-03-05 02:34:23 PM
"You know Lois, they say life is like a box of chocolates. However, for you, life is like a box of LIVE HAND GRENADES!"
 
2008-03-05 02:35:46 PM
Police say the grenades were of a military surplus variety. They were removed from the store.

So this would mean that they were drilled out and harmless, right?
 
2008-03-05 02:39:58 PM
The store's assistant manager, Dawn Graham, says the grenades may have been in the store for days before they were discovered.

So not really a threat.
 
2008-03-05 02:40:25 PM
What?! Now it's a crime to help Goodwill lend a hand?
 
2008-03-05 02:52:21 PM
Karma Curmudgeon:What?! Now it's a crime to help Goodwill lend a hand?

I think it's the possible blowing up of the hand that's the problem.
 
2008-03-05 03:26:05 PM
pgh9fan: Karma Curmudgeon:What?! Now it's a crime to help Goodwill lend a hand?

I think it's the possible blowing up of the hand that's the problem.


Well, you know what they say: You can't make an omelette without blowing something up.
 
2008-03-05 03:29:27 PM
My Second Amendment rights are being infringed upon!
 
2008-03-05 03:52:19 PM
I saw them, But it was a green tag day, so I figured I would wait till Friday.
 
2008-03-05 03:52:30 PM
-1

Subby tried to hard this time.
 
2008-03-05 03:53:02 PM
i need those for when I LARP CoD 4!!
 
2008-03-05 03:53:14 PM
Hand grenades are very stable in even moderately severe conditions. None of those people were in any danger unless the grenades were severely damaged.
 
2008-03-05 03:53:18 PM
Are they sure this wasn't in Florida?
 
2008-03-05 03:53:22 PM
That is the worst poem I've ever read!
It doesn't even rhyme!
 
2008-03-05 03:53:29 PM
Ship 'em up to the Detroit Goodwill; they'll sell out in no time.
 
2008-03-05 03:54:12 PM
nekom: Police say the grenades were of a military surplus variety. They were removed from the store.

So this would mean that they were drilled out and harmless, right?


Probably. Otherwise they would have taken them to be blown up. Wish I could get grenades 3 for dollar
 
2008-03-05 03:55:00 PM
I call dibs.
 
2008-03-05 03:55:12 PM
Infantry Rule #3

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is no longer your friend.
 
2008-03-05 03:55:12 PM
The local Goodwill stores NEVER get the good shiat.

DNRTFA... was it Florida?
 
2008-03-05 03:56:00 PM
I_Should_Be_Working_Right_NowSubby tried to hard this time.

I_Should_Be_Working_Right_Now doesn't know too vs. to.

-1

/Subby
 
2008-03-05 03:56:49 PM
They just don't make 'em like they used to...

content.answers.com
 
2008-03-05 03:58:53 PM
First it's all Give to your community, do your part, help out.

And then I give, and it's not good enough for them.

I just wanted everyone else, even the underprivileged, know the true satisfaction that comes from watching your enemies drip off the ceiling in gooey chunks.

Is that so wrong?
 
2008-03-05 03:59:02 PM
Our Goodwill store would have already sold them as "decorative pineapples"
 
2008-03-05 03:59:38 PM
"Military surplus variety" must be newspeak for "drilled out, inert, and only a danger if used as a blunt projectile."
 
2008-03-05 03:59:52 PM
OK subby, I laughed.
 
2008-03-05 04:00:42 PM
www.cm.iparenting.com

"u da bom dawg!"
 
2008-03-05 04:02:13 PM
"Military surplus variety" must be newspeak for "drilled out, inert, and only a danger if used as a blunt projectile."

If there's one thing politicians, media, and the police have agreed on, it's that a constant state of panic is good for society.
 
2008-03-05 04:04:04 PM
freudianslipandslide: Our Goodwill store would have already sold them as "decorative pineapples"

With lamps.
 
2008-03-05 04:04:21 PM
choice and consequence: "Military surplus variety" must be newspeak for "drilled out, inert, and only a danger if used as a blunt projectile."

If there's one thing politicians, media, and the police have agreed on, it's that a constant state of panic is good for society.


If you're not referring to the grenades as "potentially dangerous", you're with the terrorists? Yeah, I'm familiar with that game.

I owned one of those drilled out grenades when I was 12 or so... it was fun to have, but it hurt like a biatch if you got smacked with it while playing war.
 
2008-03-05 04:04:40 PM
Sabalo: "Military surplus variety" must be newspeak for "drilled out, inert, and only a danger if used as a blunt projectile."

Oh-- then, no story. Shame, though-- those are GREAT fun. First time my roommate pulled the pin on his dummy frag in our dorm room and let the spoon fly-- YES, I knew it was a dummy, even so... from the exercises I guess.... a little pee came out.

Yup. Jus' a little.

Not so funny on college campuses anymore, ROTC or no. But back in the 90s that thing was the SHI'ITE.
 
2008-03-05 04:06:22 PM
img181.imageshack.us

Well now we know where he got that hand grenade.
 
2008-03-05 04:06:43 PM
Sabalo:

I owned one of those drilled out grenades when I was 12 or so... it was fun to have, but it hurt like a biatch if you got smacked with it while playing war.


Hey, we just used rocks.
Turns out they hurt too.

Crap, I think I'm a terrier now!

/ or something like that.
 
2008-03-05 04:07:28 PM
Smasho-

Shi'ite? I'm so calling Homeland Security.

Mine actually came with a broken spring so you couldn't reset the spoon. Me, being an enterprising little shiat, found a used smoke grenade on the local base's training field and replaced the top with a good spring.

Dropping the grenade in the street + other kids around = a moment of abject terror and new sprint speed records.
 
2008-03-05 04:09:18 PM
Oh, dangerous fruit!

/Let the Dog Drive
 
2008-03-05 04:09:23 PM
Its the Salvation Army right? Why dont they counter-attack?
 
2008-03-05 04:09:27 PM
JUSTONEMORELATTE: Sabalo:

I owned one of those drilled out grenades when I was 12 or so... it was fun to have, but it hurt like a biatch if you got smacked with it while playing war.

Hey, we just used rocks.
Turns out they hurt too.

Crap, I think I'm a terrier now!

/ or something like that.


But rocks are less awesome... plus, the sharp edges can cause bleeding. We tried to avoid the bleeding thing, as we once got in trouble for using hard green pinecones are grenades. Who knew that the pinecone, when thrown like a football, could shred leg flesh?

After that point, we developed cardboard body armor. Evolution of child warfare.
 
2008-03-05 04:11:27 PM
Sabalo: Dropping the grenade in the street + other kids around = a moment of abject terror and new sprint speed records.

Yeah... then came (insert tragedy here) and all the fun got sapped right out of that little gag.

You know, I don't know if Rob ever got that spoon to reset... hell, he might still have the thing.
 
2008-03-05 04:11:49 PM
I hate you all. Now I want to play war. I hear that the U.S Army has a pretty good team, but they play too rough. I don't dig the permanent mutilation.
 
2008-03-05 04:11:54 PM
Manfred J. Hattan 2008-03-05 03:53:29 PM
Ship 'em up to the Detroit Goodwill; they'll sell out in no time.


DETROIT!!! NOT DETROIT!!!!!

tuna fingers 2008-03-05 03:53:22 PM
That is the worst poem I've ever read!
It doesn't even rhyme!


/SUPER FUNNY.
/I think i feel a 150 lb tortoise head poking out.
 
2008-03-05 04:12:00 PM
It's a stupid stunt even if they were neutralized. Whoever did it oughta be beat around the head with them.


/Any Army lads about? How many people have been buried after fooling around with unloaded guns and dud ordnance?
 
2008-03-05 04:12:12 PM
Imagine if those things would have exploded. There could have been tens of dollars worth of damage.
 
2008-03-05 04:14:33 PM
smasho: Sabalo: Dropping the grenade in the street + other kids around = a moment of abject terror and new sprint speed records.

Yeah... then came (insert tragedy here) and all the fun got sapped right out of that little gag.

You know, I don't know if Rob ever got that spoon to reset... hell, he might still have the thing.


Maybe if more kids dropped fake grenades in the street to scare the piss out of their pals, we'd have less real violence. After all, it is hard to shoot your fellow children when you're laughing so hard that you can't breathe.

*based on no science, there*

A small screwdriver and some careful maneuvering should reset it. Bonus points if you put a paper cap in the top to make it spark when the trigger strikes.
 
2008-03-05 04:15:33 PM
Sabalo 2008-03-05 04:09:27 PM
JUSTONEMORELATTE: Sabalo:

I owned one of those drilled out grenades when I was 12 or so... it was fun to have, but it hurt like a biatch if you got smacked with it while playing war.

Hey, we just used rocks.
Turns out they hurt too.

Crap, I think I'm a terrier now!

/ or something like that.

But rocks are less awesome... plus, the sharp edges can cause bleeding. We tried to avoid the bleeding thing, as we once got in trouble for using hard green pinecones are grenades. Who knew that the pinecone, when thrown like a football, could shred leg flesh?

After that point, we developed cardboard body armor. Evolution of child warfare.


We used garbage top shields and those Sweetgum balls loaded into the tubes of holiday/birthday paper, hurt like hell...
img246.imageshack.us
 
2008-03-05 04:15:40 PM
Sabalo: Smasho-

Shi'ite? I'm so calling Homeland Security.

Mine actually came with a broken spring so you couldn't reset the spoon. Me, being an enterprising little shiat, found a used smoke grenade on the local base's training field and replaced the top with a good spring.

Dropping the grenade in the street + other kids around = a moment of abject terror and new sprint speed records.


I like it when, in Gunsmith Cats, Minnie May turns around slowly, hands in the air as the bad guys have ordered, and has a grenade in her teeth by the pin--which slowly, almost erotically, slips out, panics the bad guys of course, and gives MM and Rally a beautiful explosion for getaway cover.
 
2008-03-05 04:15:59 PM
Sabalo: I owned one of those drilled out grenades when I was 12 or so... it was fun to have, but it hurt like a biatch if you got smacked with it while playing war.

I owned a few of these as a kid. Their battlefield utility quickly diminished after I got in trouble for nailing my brother in the back with one. Whats the big deal? He didnt blow up. Also, I got my finger stuck in the bottom hole one time. It took an hour to get the thing off. After that mom wouldnt fork for any more of them so we fell back on the more accurate but less cool looking dirt-clod.
 
2008-03-05 04:16:50 PM
TheGreyPiper: It's a stupid stunt even if they were neutralized. Whoever did it oughta be beat around the head with them.


/Any Army lads about? How many people have been buried after fooling around with unloaded guns and dud ordnance?


Not dud ordinance... the metal shell of a grenade, which could in no case explode. Leaving unexploded ordinance would be a whole different issue.

You'd have as much of a chance of the hollowed out grenade exploding as you'd have of your stapler exploding.
 
2008-03-05 04:18:01 PM
Dirtybird971: Sabalo 2008-03-05 04:09:27 PM
JUSTONEMORELATTE: Sabalo:

I owned one of those drilled out grenades when I was 12 or so... it was fun to have, but it hurt like a biatch if you got smacked with it while playing war.

Hey, we just used rocks.
Turns out they hurt too.

Crap, I think I'm a terrier now!

/ or something like that.

But rocks are less awesome... plus, the sharp edges can cause bleeding. We tried to avoid the bleeding thing, as we once got in trouble for using hard green pinecones are grenades. Who knew that the pinecone, when thrown like a football, could shred leg flesh?

After that point, we developed cardboard body armor. Evolution of child warfare.

We used garbage top shields and those Sweetgum balls loaded into the tubes of holiday/birthday paper, hurt like hell...


Iiiiiinteresting use of the sweetgum balls. We generally ignored them as too light for real damage.
 
2008-03-05 04:18:35 PM
Not surprising, I used to work for a company that held the Household hazardous Waste pickup site, I was stuck in charge of the "explosives" - Read that as me and 2 55 gal drums off by myself in a field! -
Had quite a few strange items show up.

2 live mortars
8 WW2 hand grenades (all there, not drilled and pin with ring in place)
120 rounds of armor piercing 30.06
4 sticks of Dynamite
And hundreds of rounds of mixed ammo
23 different guns (had to make the people take them back)
1 explosive cannonball

None of that scared me, but when two of the local Deputies arrived and were out in that area smoking and leaning on the drums. . . THAT scared the heck out of me.

/funny what you find when you look
//Always lookout for what you might find
 
2008-03-05 04:19:26 PM
TheGreyPiper: Sabalo: Smasho-

Shi'ite? I'm so calling Homeland Security.

Mine actually came with a broken spring so you couldn't reset the spoon. Me, being an enterprising little shiat, found a used smoke grenade on the local base's training field and replaced the top with a good spring.

Dropping the grenade in the street + other kids around = a moment of abject terror and new sprint speed records.

I like it when, in Gunsmith Cats, Minnie May turns around slowly, hands in the air as the bad guys have ordered, and has a grenade in her teeth by the pin--which slowly, almost erotically, slips out, panics the bad guys of course, and gives MM and Rally a beautiful explosion for getaway cover.


You know... it sounds cool, but I'm not letting anything erotic happen with reference to me if I'm warring it up. ;-)
 
2008-03-05 04:20:22 PM
Remember, 5 second grenade fuses aren't.
 
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