Moist von Lipwig unavailable for comment.

/Deliver Us!

Cliff Claven unavailable for comment!!

SusanIvanova: Moist von Lipwig unavailable for comment.

/Deliver Us!

lol, ever since I read Going Postal I read "gloom of night" as "glom of..." I forget how "night" appeared on their sign.

I really want to read Making Money, but I think I'll wait till it's in paperback so I don't pay nearly twenty bucks for one book.

/i'm a cheapskate.

Gloom of night

FTFY

Hope he doesn't go postal

FTFA, his parents and gf died. I'd be farked up too for a bit. Boo for Dumbass tag subby

As a former postal carrier, I am getting a big kick out of these replies...

Seriously, it was a learning experience. I learned 'going postal' was a perfectly rational, reasoned response to the hideous conditions postal carriers get shafted with on a regular basis.

On the other hand, there is no job on the planet that can scare me now. Long hours? Shiatty conditions? Filthy, backbreaking labor? The stupidest regulations EVAR? I sneer at them!

I'VE WORKED FOR THE US POST OFFICE! BBBWWWAAAHHAAAHHHAA!

Fear Me.

unavailable for comment.

And since his pic wasn't the first one in the thread, perhaps this is just a tad...
/obscure?

I guess the mail wasn't sent Paxil Post.

Yeah, and don't ask about Mrs. Cake.

NuttierThanEver: And yet, it's perfectly legal to take a man's soul and crush it out like a stale Pall Mall.

Newman...

Got beaten to the Going Postal reference...I wonder, could he hear the letters speaking to him too?

//Words have power, you know

Hey, Tallykat can you enlighten me a little? I don't doubt that being a postal worker could be extremely aggravating, but I don't know any specifics. (I.E. This is not a stupid attempt at trolling!)

I'm a teacher in a shiatty-ass school district, so I know how farktabulous (my newly coined word) working in a humongous bureaucracy can be, but I don't know about the USPS, except that here in "Charm City" they routinely lose mail and magazine subscriptions. For a while I contemplated a career in the mail carrying business, so I'm curious about what I missed out on.

Well, shiat. I just looked up the un-filtered version of "farktabulous" at UrbanDictionary.com and, as it turns out, people seem to agree that it means "so awesome it's as good as (or better than) sex." Clearly, I meant that in a scathingly sarcastic way.

doesn't rhyme

Tallykat: As a former postal carrier, I am getting a big kick out of these replies...

Seriously, it was a learning experience. I learned 'going postal' was a perfectly rational, reasoned response to the hideous conditions postal carriers get shafted with on a regular basis.

On the other hand, there is no job on the planet that can scare me now. Long hours? Shiatty conditions? Filthy, backbreaking labor? The stupidest regulations EVAR? I sneer at them!

I'VE WORKED FOR THE US POST OFFICE! BBBWWWAAAHHAAAHHHAA!

Fear Me.

I had a coworker who used to work for the post office. He wasn't a carrier, but worked at one of the distribution centers, I guess you would call it. From his description, it seemed just awful. Like working in a prison camp, practically. The pay and benefits were good, but the work environment was just miserable.

Dumbass tag? Subby fails.

Shouldn't that read "glom of nit?"

ElegantGoose: Hey, Tallykat can you enlighten me a little? I don't doubt that being a postal worker could be extremely aggravating, but I don't know any specifics. (I.E. This is not a stupid attempt at trolling!)

I'm a teacher in a shiatty-ass school district, so I know how farktabulous (my newly coined word) working in a humongous bureaucracy can be, but I don't know about the USPS, except that here in "Charm City" they routinely lose mail and magazine subscriptions. For a while I contemplated a career in the mail carrying business, so I'm curious about what I missed out on.

Well for starters, it is truly a filthy, filthy job. Ten minutes after sorting mail and hauling flat trays around and your arms are black to the elbows, your cuticles and fingers are constantly slashed and cut from the sharp paper edges, and give up on your nails- they'll be peeling stumps after a week and they'll never quite heal.

Some routes I worked didn't have pushcarts, so I was hauling around 50 to 60 pounds of mail in my mailbag and walking literally miles a day in 95+ degree heat. (Southern Cali in high summer.) Just a sheer backbreaking amount of weight to haul around, every day. Every pro carrier I knew had back problems, knee problems, etc., just from the sheer amount of hard labor you do everyday because you are doing more in a working day than is remotely practical or healthy.

In addition, carriers are allowed a set amount of time per day to finish your route, and your supervisors will ALWAYS not give you enough 'hours' on your paperwork to finish your route each day on time. Therefore, when you can't finish in the time allotted, it is not their fault, it is yours. Never mind what you're being asked to do is not actually physically possible.

FYI: being a mail carrier first involves being a 'casual' or temporary carrier for 6 months to a year and pass the postal exam; if you survive that you get a year or two of being a 'PTF', part-time flex carrier; if you survive THAT, you might make it to full carrier and get a route of your own, but you better be prepared to be EVERYBODY'S Toby for at least 2 years, probably 3.

And as a probationary carrier, if you are involved in any kind of vehicular accident you are immediately fired; WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE AT FAULT FOR CAUSING THE ACCIDENT. Some idiot hits you- you're fired. If you are bit by a dog, you're fired. If you get hurt, YOU'RE FIRED.

Lousy equipment, often broken and UNBELIEVABLY hard to get replacements when it breaks beyond fixing. Scary trucks to drive... I complained to my supervisor for a week about the truck I was driving; when she finally called in a maintenance check for it, the repair guy nearly fainted in terror after driving it around the parking garage, pronounced it 'undrivable' and said it was a miracle I hadn't been killed.

The worst part of it is the seniority system, however. As a new carrier you are treated appallingly badly, and when the regular carriers can't finish their routes in time, they bring mail back to the station and the casuals and PTFs get to go out and deliver it AFTER they've finished their routes for the day.

And by the time 50% of them make it to a full carrier, they are as hardened, cynical and cover-my-ass-and-fark-the-rest-of-you as you could imagine. They will screw you over viciously without a thought because hey, they have the power to do that now.

Trust me, you aren't missing a thing and be GLAD you didn't go that job route.

Oh, and that wet grinding noise my knees make when I climb stairs now? That just CAN'T be good...

Tallykat: Well for starters...That just CAN'T be good...

As the girlfriend of a letter carrier, I must say

THAT!
ALL OF IT!
THAT!

A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn't receive some divine intervention.

The worker organizes a collection amongst the other postal workers, who dig deep and come up with 96 dollars. They get it to her by special courier the same morning.

A week later, the same postal worker recognizes the same hand on another envelope. He opens it and reads: "Dear God, Thank you for the 100 dollars. This month would have been so bleak otherwise. P.S. It was four dollars short but that was probably those thieving bastards at the Post Office."

No wonder I haven't received my Night of the Comet DVD yet.

It's noon now and all the mailboxes have been emptied
And all the letters are inside
He counts them, he checks them, he looks for clues and finds
The ones with hearts on the outside

Some postman is grooving to all our love letters
Some postman is gonna cry
Some postman is grooving to all out love letters
Some postman is gonna cry
Gonna cry
Gonna cry
Gonna cry yeah yeah

Nineteen ninety threeeeee
ooh ooh ooh ooh
ooh ooh ooh ooh

Holding onto a package meant for a distant lover
Thought it would be there overnight
She waits and she cries and she thinks he does not love her
The postman holds on oh so tight

Danger Avoid Death: A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn't receive some divine intervention.

The worker organizes a collection amongst the other postal workers, who dig deep and come up with 96 dollars. They get it to her by special courier the same morning.

A week later, the same postal worker recognizes the same hand on another envelope. He opens it and reads: "Dear God, Thank you for the 100 dollars. This month would have been so bleak otherwise. P.S. It was four dollars short but that was probably those thieving bastards at the Post Office."

*ROFL* A Xerox copy of that was posted above the time clock at my station. I laughed myself sick the first time I read it and it's still bloody hilarious now. But in truth, we've passed the hat for folks on our routes who we KNEW needed help- you just can't let the supervisors "officially" find out about it.

I've never gotten a USPS package if it is raining or snowing in my life.

Holy crap...this is the longest that I've ever had an "/obscure" go unanswered...

Sweet.

Can I get the stamps with cabbage taste?