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(Chicago Breaking News)   Not news: Mother gives premature birth on train. Fark: It was in the bathroom and the baby fell throught the toilet and onto the tracks. Drew: Odds of this being completely bogus -- high   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 115
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10022 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Feb 2008 at 11:34 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-02-28 11:04:07 AM
Shenanibaby. I talked to a lady on a plane to SF once who had a 'million dollar baby' who fell out 9 weeks premature into the toilet and was still attached by the umbilical cord. This lady was very wealthy & intelligent. They called 911 and it was only moments until the EMTs came, and the baby was life-flighted to the hospital. The baby still had to be on a respirator and in NICU for 6 months.

So, Drew, I agree, this could never happen, even in India. Because the baby would still be connected by the cord.
 
2008-02-28 11:05:16 AM
I throught it was spelled through.
 
2008-02-28 11:16:32 AM
Even a premature baby would still be somewhat large, at least compared to a turd. I can't imagine that the turd hole, or whatever the hell is susposed to be called, would be very large. Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?
 
2008-02-28 11:21:23 AM
SuperCrackMonkey: Shenanibaby. I talked to a lady on a plane to SF once who had a 'million dollar baby' who fell out 9 weeks premature into the toilet and was still attached by the umbilical cord.


Worst.Kite.Evar.
 
2008-02-28 11:24:39 AM
SuperCrackMonkey: I talked to a lady on a plane to SF once who had a 'million dollar baby' who fell out 9 weeks premature into the toilet

Um, yeah. Babies don't just "fall out".
 
2008-02-28 11:37:38 AM
Jeez, starting the potty training a bit early, aren't you lady?
 
2008-02-28 11:38:35 AM
was it a brown baby?
 
2008-02-28 11:38:57 AM
Karma Curmudgeon: SuperCrackMonkey: Shenanibaby. I talked to a lady on a plane to SF once who had a 'million dollar baby' who fell out 9 weeks premature into the toilet and was still attached by the umbilical cord.


Worst.Kite.Evar.


Not kite.
Anchor.
 
2008-02-28 11:40:40 AM
Did the baby have track marks?
 
2008-02-28 11:41:16 AM
SuperCrackMonkey -

maybe she got hungry and bit through it before passing the fark out.
 
2008-02-28 11:41:23 AM
Chuck Wagon: Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?

I think this is the greatest question I have ever read on Fark.
 
2008-02-28 11:41:41 AM
Karma Curmudgeon: SuperCrackMonkey: Shenanibaby. I talked to a lady on a plane to SF once who had a 'million dollar baby' who fell out 9 weeks premature into the toilet and was still attached by the umbilical cord.


Worst.Kite.Evar.


Haha, that just made my day.
 
2008-02-28 11:42:09 AM
Sumpinlikedat: Um, yeah. Babies don't just "fall out".

Actually, my brother-in-law caught his daughter just before she went for her first 'swim'. His wife thought she'd just go to the bathroom before they left for the hospital...

/her 3rd child
//not premature
///i can haz hotdog-hallway joke?
 
2008-02-28 11:42:18 AM
I really have to ask...why was she sitting on the toilet like that? Did she think that she had to punch a grumpy? This brings new meaning to dropping the kids off!
 
2008-02-28 11:43:31 AM
It was in India. It could be hard to discern between labour pains and the gastrointestinal effects of curried lentils.
 
2008-02-28 11:43:38 AM
Chuck Wagon: Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?

Wowzer97pooh: I think this is the greatest question I have ever read on Fark.

Why we're here: the high level of scientific discussion.

But I've been on 3rd world trains and, no there's nothing between you and the tracks.
 
2008-02-28 11:43:59 AM
It's possible...i've been on trains in India where the toilet was basically a large funnel that just went right onto the tracks. I know this because I was puking my guts out, so I got a good look at the tracks zipping by.

Doesn't make the story true, cuz it sounds like the kind of thing people would make up just because they thought it could possibly happen.
 
2008-02-28 11:44:05 AM
I'm envisioning an infant hanging under a moving train from the umbilical cord still coming from the mother... and that's not an image I needed. Whether it could happen or no... surely there are limits to that cord. O_o
 
2008-02-28 11:45:02 AM
Chuck Wagon: Even a premature baby would still be somewhat large, at least compared to a turd. I can't imagine that the turd hole, or whatever the hell is susposed to be called, would be very large. Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?


Unless EVERYTHING pulled out and down the hole. Including the ever-so-yummy placenta. The reason they stopped the train was to pick up the kid AND lunch.
Those train toilet holes are probably stainless, at least 4" across and do respond well to lubed excrement falling through.
 
2008-02-28 11:46:27 AM
Chuck Wagon: Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?

Why this is making me laugh is beyond me. It's probably the word equal of those wonky-eye Garfield comics.
 
2008-02-28 11:47:13 AM
wowzer97pooh

Chuck Wagon: Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?

I think this is the greatest question I have ever read on Fark.


This

/can somebody please get me a towel and a new monitor
 
2008-02-28 11:49:08 AM
Chuck Wagon: Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?

To put it in sports terms that most people will relate to, the toilet opening ("turd hole") is closer to the size of a basketball than a softball. Most babies would fit through, esp. a premature one.
 
2008-02-28 11:49:17 AM
SuperCrackMonkey: Shenanibaby. I talked to a lady on a plane to SF once who had a 'million dollar baby' who fell out 9 weeks premature into the toilet and was still attached by the umbilical cord. This lady was very wealthy & intelligent. They called 911 and it was only moments until the EMTs came, and the baby was life-flighted to the hospital. The baby still had to be on a respirator and in NICU for 6 months.

So, Drew, I agree, this could never happen, even in India. Because the baby would still be connected by the cord.


This is true, however, the cord is connected to the placenta which comes out during labor as well. If this woman was contracting, the placenta may have separated and gone through the crapper, too.

/is a nurse
//still agrees this story is bogus
 
2008-02-28 11:51:11 AM
Omnivorous: But I've been on 3rd world trains and, no there's nothing between you and the tracks.

Really? Not even a "turd hole"?
 
2008-02-28 11:52:17 AM
I am just picturing the baby being dragged along the tracks by the umbilical cord for a mile or two...
 
2008-02-28 11:52:48 AM
Just for the record, the umbilical cord is not attached to the mother. It is attached to the placenta, which also is expelled during childbirth. So, no, the baby wouldn't have been dangling from the mother.

And having given birth twice, I can certainly vouch that labor pains are not as portrayed on TV. It is certainly possible that the mother thought it was time to pinch a loaf.

My biggest gripe with the story is how the baby fell without any injury and then lived for 2 hours.
 
2008-02-28 11:54:44 AM
Who gives birth on a toilet?? Couldn't the woman tell the difference between the need to shiat and the need to give birth? Or was it just a combination of the two??
 
2008-02-28 11:55:24 AM
I keep picturing a scene out of Dudley Do-Right.
 
2008-02-28 11:56:38 AM
Jon iz teh kewl: Who gives birth on a toilet?? Couldn't the woman tell the difference between the need to shiat and the need to give birth? Or was it just a combination of the two??

Great, now I've got this mental image of a baby hanging by the umbilical cord and having poo fall down on to them.
 
2008-02-28 11:56:57 AM
FTFA: Toilets on Indian trains usually have holes that open directly onto the tracks,

Note to anyone traveling in India: STAY AWAY FROM THE RAILROAD TRACKS!


//if the story is true, I'm surprised the baby survived
///whackity whackity whack
 
2008-02-28 11:57:19 AM
Compulsive Liar 1986
was it a brown baby?
static.flickr.com
 
2008-02-28 11:57:48 AM
these visuals....all i can say is wow...

and the turd hole statements is just getting better with farker enlightenment
 
2008-02-28 11:57:53 AM
cheezeburgermama: Just for the record, the umbilical cord is not attached to the mother. It is attached to the placenta, which also is expelled during childbirth. So, no, the baby wouldn't have been dangling from the mother.

And having given birth twice, I can certainly vouch that labor pains are not as portrayed on TV. It is certainly possible that the mother thought it was time to pinch a loaf.

My biggest gripe with the story is how the baby fell without any injury and then lived for 2 hours.


I realize that... but the reason for disbelief that people kept giving did grant a very odd image.
Actually... that grants an even odder thought. If some don't realize that the cord will come out... what do they think happens to what's left on the mother's side after the cut?
I'm not even going to describe that image... hilarious, but I'm sure others would not appreciate it.
 
2008-02-28 11:58:51 AM
Toilets emptying straight onto the tracks? These people are savages. Here in the US they wait until they're crossing a bridge and dump the contents into a river.

/will never forget the story about the Burlington Northern workers repairing a bridge...
 
2008-02-28 11:59:08 AM
Okay... changed my mind.
Two words:
Slurp. Spaghetti.
 
2008-02-28 12:00:53 PM
indian trains dont even have 'toilets'. They just have holes cut in the floor.
 
2008-02-28 12:00:57 PM
Sumpinlikedat: Um, yeah. Babies don't just "fall out".


Britney Spears OB/GYN would like to have a word with you.
 
2008-02-28 12:02:55 PM
The only way to top this is for a baby to come crashing through my roof the next time a plane flies over our house.
 
2008-02-28 12:05:12 PM
CNN has posted the story on their main page, So maybe the story is true that have a photo of said baby also
Said Page
 
2008-02-28 12:05:50 PM
Chuck Wagon: Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?

No...that's why she can't get pregnant when you stick it there.
 
2008-02-28 12:06:19 PM
wowzer97pooh: Chuck Wagon: Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?

I think this is the greatest question I have ever read on Fark.


The last Indian train toilet I saw was literally a whole in the floor. You would squat and go on the tracks. I didn't use it but I can imagine what the wind must feel like coming up through that thing. I have seen one that was a bit nicer though, It was raised up and gave you the option of sitting on a seat or climbing up and squatting on the seat. The seat actually had little feet impressions to let you know you could do this.

I have pictures of these toilets at home, but I'm at work now.
 
2008-02-28 12:06:26 PM
What's the burlington northern story?
 
2008-02-28 12:06:42 PM
Christian Bale: Chuck Wagon: Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?

To put it in sports terms that most people will relate to, the toilet opening ("turd hole") is closer to the size of a basketball than a softball. Most babies would fit through, esp. a premature one.


Is there just a hole right below the seat or is there some sort of turd chute?
 
2008-02-28 12:07:16 PM
FTFA - "We do not expect such children to survive," Jain said


Maybe it happens a lot...


Get back down that hole, you little bastard
 
2008-02-28 12:07:39 PM
Sumpinlikedat: Um, yeah. Babies don't just "fall out".

Actually she said she felt like she pooped and she looked down and there was the baby. She thought it was dead and it made a little sound and they called 911.
 
2008-02-28 12:09:17 PM
Weidbrewer: Chuck Wagon: Would a baby even fit through a turd hole?

No...that's why she can't get pregnant when you stick it there.



Butt babies don't live.
 
2008-02-28 12:09:36 PM
friendinpa

Britney Spears OB/GYN would like to have a word with you.

My friend, I think you just hit upon the medical drama idea of the century.

"Britney Spears, OB/GYN"
 
2008-02-28 12:10:03 PM
Karma Curmudgeon: Worst.Kite.Evar.

WIN!

/i'm gonna have to eat my lunch a second time...
 
2008-02-28 12:10:38 PM
BS. There is no place in the toilet to boil water.
 
2008-02-28 12:11:23 PM
cheezeburgermama: Just for the record, the umbilical cord is not attached to the mother. It is attached to the placenta, which also is expelled during childbirth. So, no, the baby wouldn't have been dangling from the mother.

Not true. I've also given birth twice and the placenta took a good 30 minutes to expel each time. It didn't come flying out right with the baby. So it is entirely possible--probable, actually--that the baby would be 'dangling' there for a while before the placenta came out.
 
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