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(SF Signal)   Science-fiction writers asked which SF movie endings they'd change if they had the chance (spoilers)   (sfsignal.com) divider line 161
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10516 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 27 Feb 2008 at 2:31 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-02-27 11:03:45 AM  
I totally called Signs.
 
2008-02-27 11:05:11 AM  
So the "Tron Guy" counts as a "real" SF writer now?
 
2008-02-27 11:18:26 AM  
What these blurbs really demonstrate is that lacking talent, writing ability, and a real sense of wit/humor can still have some people calling you a "science fiction writer."
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2008-02-27 11:19:35 AM  
I'm certain that there are any number of possible answers, but the first to come to mind is Contact. Too many members of the audience wholly misunderstand the nature of the first encounter at the end, and believe the point of the movie is than an atheist gets heaven shoved in her face and is forced to change her mind.

That never occurred to me. I figured the events were the result of sufficiently advanced technology.
 
2008-02-27 11:29:36 AM  
Pocket Ninja: What these blurbs really demonstrate is that lacking talent, writing ability, and a real sense of wit/humor can still have some people calling you a "science fiction writer."

Considering those traits are pretty much de rigueur for 99% of science fiction, it's not that surprising.
 
2008-02-27 11:36:54 AM  
FTFA: Ivan Reitman's Evolution (2001). Having depicted tiny alien organisms that landed on Earth and rapidly generated more and more advanced creatures, up to and including primates, the film should have properly concluded with the development of intelligent humanoid aliens, who would calmly introduce themselves, apologize for all the problems caused by their more ferocious predecessors, and announce plans to gather all of the alien beings together and depart to another world that is not already inhabited by a thriving biosphere.


I don't know. I thought Orlando Jones getting stuck in the sphincter of a giant amoeba fit the rest of the movie pretty well...
 
2008-02-27 11:37:54 AM  
Someone spent entirely too much time analyzing Star Trek 5.
 
2008-02-27 11:51:02 AM  
Bah, I can't make fun of it since the link is farked.
 
2008-02-27 11:54:13 AM  
I would have to tinker with Serenity. I know I can hear the collective groans of the fans right now, because we all know that Joss Whedon is awesome and can do no wrong, but there was one thing that bugged me about the film--the death of _______. It seemed to come at the wrong time and for apparently no reason....I can maybe understand it as a mechanism to allow River full acceptance into the crew, but I still didn't like it.


Michael L. Wentz may understand science fiction, but he doesn't understand dramatic writing very well and completely missed the point. The death of an important crewmember at that point took away all assumptions that the good guys would win, and made the entire rest of the movie hold your attention tightly. For once, we had a movie climax where we didn't know for certain which of our heros--if any--would survive.
 
2008-02-27 11:58:23 AM  
So they found a bunch of C-list authors and asked them how they would change already successful movies? Why should I care?
 
2008-02-27 12:10:31 PM  
Kyosuke: Michael L. Wentz may understand science fiction, but he doesn't understand dramatic writing very well and completely missed the point. The death of an important crewmember at that point took away all assumptions that the good guys would win, and made the entire rest of the movie hold your attention tightly. For once, we had a movie climax where we didn't know for certain which of our heros--if any--would survive.

Exactly why I feel Serenity/Firefly is one of the best Sci-Fi films/series ever. I am a huge Trekkie and Whovian, but neither has ever matched the combination of excitement, character development or humor that Joss acheived.

Unfortunately, this is also why I feel that a sequel or series relaunch would be a bad idea. Let the story stay a classic, and don't muck about with it.

The Trek Franchise would have been remembered far better if they'd let it end with Star Trek II.
 
DAR [TotalFark]
2008-02-27 12:19:56 PM  
Someone get a hold of Peter Jackson and explain to him that the Burning of the Shire was not an optional ending to the Lord the of Rings.

Other then that he did petty good with the whole movie.
 
2008-02-27 12:34:47 PM  
AI should have ended with the robot kid frozen staring at the blue fairy waiting forever to become a real boy.
 
2008-02-27 12:55:56 PM  
FTFA:
Paul Di Filippo
"I want to rewrite the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey, and make the revelation
be that HAL'S AI consciousness is downloaded into the Star Child's wetware, and
the Singularity is upon us!"


Gawd, there's nothing I hate more than Singularity freaks. Bunch of wide-eyed infantile farktards.
Try studying a little logic, you palsied twits.


/with apologies to retards and palsy victims
 
2008-02-27 01:03:47 PM  
Procedural Texture: Try studying a little logic, you palsied twits.

i'm curious what logic has to do with it. can you explain?
 
2008-02-27 02:14:12 PM  
ZAZ: I'm certain that there are any number of possible answers, but the first to come to mind is Contact. Too many members of the audience wholly misunderstand the nature of the first encounter at the end, and believe the point of the movie is than an atheist gets heaven shoved in her face and is forced to change her mind.

That never occurred to me. I figured the events were the result of sufficiently advanced technology.


I watched that farking movie for more than an hour to see the alien and it was her god damn father!
 
2008-02-27 02:16:03 PM  
albo: Procedural Texture: Try studying a little logic, you palsied twits.

i'm curious what logic has to do with it. can you explain?


Yeah, I second that. While I doubt we'll ever live to see it happen outselves, I don't see any failure in the logic of "If we can build a computer smart enough to improve itself, there would be nothing stopping it from continuing to improve."
 
2008-02-27 02:31:52 PM  
Raiden333: If we can build a computer smart enough to improve itself, there would be nothing stopping it from continuing to improve."

..and at some point the improvement curve would naturally approach a singularity, after which point none of us can predict what will happen.

the key hurtle has always been the first, and it's a big one: achieving true AI
 
2008-02-27 02:34:53 PM  
They all should have died at the end of Total Recall. I'm a terrible person.
 
2008-02-27 02:34:59 PM  
I'd like to see hundreds of tiny E.T. larva erupt from a fevered, swollen cyst on Elliot's shoulder.
 
2008-02-27 02:35:48 PM  
I thought it was interesting how Alan Dean Foster interpreted the ending to The Black Hole for the novelization.

Movie: good guys go to heaven, bad guys go to hell

ADF: they get disintegrated and their molecules scattered across the universe
 
2008-02-27 02:41:37 PM  
sigdiamond2000: So the "Tron Guy" counts as a "real" SF writer now?

Most of the others were REVIEW writers also, with a couple of people who wrote what i assume to be obscure pulp science fiction novels.

They made some good suggestions though, regardless of how they were introduced.
 
2008-02-27 02:44:57 PM  
Contact.
 
2008-02-27 02:46:07 PM  
Starship Troopers: The bimbo pilot chick (Denise Richards) should have died and the hot redhead (Dina Meyer) was still alive and just badly injured by the bug.
 
2008-02-27 02:49:09 PM  
A.I.

Maybe if it had ended an hour earlier.
 
2008-02-27 02:49:31 PM  
Matrix trilogy

find out its a Matrix within a Matrix.. and its running on some old Mainframe called...... SKYNET!!
 
2008-02-27 02:49:44 PM  
Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan: no more Star Trek movies after this one.
 
2008-02-27 02:49:50 PM  
The Last Starfighter, the trailer trash chick gets naked, main character bends her over the arcade machine.


/God damn that kid was stupid, she wants you, idiot, release the joystick and let her work it for awhile
 
2008-02-27 02:50:53 PM  
Kyosuke: Michael L. Wentz may understand science fiction, but he doesn't understand dramatic writing very well and completely missed the point. The death of an important crewmember at that point took away all assumptions that the good guys would win, and made the entire rest of the movie hold your attention tightly. For once, we had a movie climax where we didn't know for certain which of our heros--if any--would survive.

Amen. In fact it makes me like that death scene even more, knowing that it bothered him so much. There was no buildup. Just suddenly, *boom* dead. It was tragic, and fast, and no time to mourn, and things were about to get much worse. The fact that it was senseless and unheroic made it seem all that much more real.
 
2008-02-27 02:51:31 PM  
Mike Brotherton
Mike Brotherton is the author of the hard science fiction novels Spider Star (2008) and Star Dragon (2003), the latter being a finalist for the Campbell award


Ok...do they just have your ass on speed-dial or what? :D
 
2008-02-27 02:51:41 PM  
Just so long as the godless heathens leave Battlefield Earth alone.

/don't mes with perfection.
 
2008-02-27 02:52:26 PM  
Boritom: Kyosuke: Michael L. Wentz may understand science fiction, but he doesn't understand dramatic writing very well and completely missed the point. The death of an important crewmember at that point took away all assumptions that the good guys would win, and made the entire rest of the movie hold your attention tightly. For once, we had a movie climax where we didn't know for certain which of our heros--if any--would survive.

Exactly why I feel Serenity/Firefly is one of the best Sci-Fi films/series ever. I am a huge Trekkie and Whovian, but neither has ever matched the combination of excitement, character development or humor that Joss acheived.

Unfortunately, this is also why I feel that a sequel or series relaunch would be a bad idea. Let the story stay a classic, and don't muck about with it.

The Trek Franchise would have been remembered far better if they'd let it end with Star Trek II.



THESE.

That death shocked me so much that I was totally convinced all the characters I loved so much were also going to die. That was the most uncomfortable I've been watching the ending of a sci-movie since Star Trek II.
 
2008-02-27 02:52:30 PM  
Kyosuke: I would have to tinker with Serenity. I know I can hear the collective groans of the fans right now, because we all know that Joss Whedon is awesome and can do no wrong, but there was one thing that bugged me about the film--the death of _______. It seemed to come at the wrong time and for apparently no reason....I can maybe understand it as a mechanism to allow River full acceptance into the crew, but I still didn't like it.

Michael L. Wentz may understand science fiction, but he doesn't understand dramatic writing very well and completely missed the point. The death of an important crewmember at that point took away all assumptions that the good guys would win, and made the entire rest of the movie hold your attention tightly. For once, we had a movie climax where we didn't know for certain which of our heros--if any--would survive.


You are absolutely correct, but I have to admit that I had the same reaction to that moment as he did. I had to go see the movie twice more before I could fully settle down and enjoy it; after that first screening I was pissed off not just for the rest of the movie, but the rest of the night.

In the shocked silence that followed that moment, a lot of people heard me call Joss Whedon a bastard.
 
2008-02-27 02:54:24 PM  
Mega Steve: Starship Troopers: The bimbo pilot chick (Denise Richards) should have died and the hot redhead (Dina Meyer) was still alive and just badly injured by the bug.

Or at least, change Dina Meyer's last words from "at least I got to have you" to "I joined to the infantry because of you. You were cold, sometimes hostile, towards me, and always kept me at arm's length. Hell, you didn't even turn to me for rebound sex after Denise Richards' dumped you in front of the entire platoon because she'd rather shag your old rival instead. But nooooo, it took Michael Ironside to point out the farking obvious before you finally deigned me worthy of a quickie. So, no, I am not thankful that as I lay here dying, that you threw me a crumb. Actually, I'm pissed off on how I wasted my life. I hope you die a painful death. No, wait. I hope your dick gets blown off first, and then, after a few months of living without a dick (not that you ever had much use for it anyway) then you die a painful death".

That would have been a crowd pleasing moment. I'd have cheered.
 
2008-02-27 02:56:24 PM  
Mart Laar's beard shaver :

That was the most uncomfortable I've been watching the ending of a sci-movie since Star Trek II.


Agreed--see above comment.
 
2008-02-27 03:00:10 PM  
The ending of Star Wars III was least of the problems with the movie. The whole prequal series was a nonstarter from the beginning.

Anakin should have been presented to us from the beginning as a young man who despite his confidence in the cockpit was some what shy and timid. Padme should have been the Han Solo type pursuing Anakin as Han Solo pursued Leia in Empire Strikes Back. Anakin should have never been a whiny brat and certainly George Lucas should have presented Obi-Wan and Anakin as less a father son dynamic and more a blood brothers dynamic. The clones in the Clone Wars should have been the "BAD GUYS"

Its how I have imagined writing it since I was ten years old.
 
2008-02-27 03:02:04 PM  
Total Morselization: AI should have ended with the robot kid frozen staring at the blue fairy waiting forever to become a real boy.

Completely agree! Did anyone happen to read the comments in the article? One poster said that people misunderstood AI and that those were not Aliens....but post-humans. Excuse my lack of sci-fi IQ, but WTF does that mean?
 
2008-02-27 03:03:13 PM  
Luke turns to the Dark Side and kills the Emperor. Joins with his father and together they rule the Empire with iron fists (or whatever their mechanical fists are made of). Then they go to Naboo and exterminate the Gungans.
 
2008-02-27 03:03:45 PM  
HellblazerPrime: You are absolutely correct, but I have to admit that I had the same reaction to that moment as he did. I had to go see the movie twice more before I could fully settle down and enjoy it; after that first screening I was pissed off not just for the rest of the movie, but the rest of the night.

In the shocked silence that followed that moment, a lot of people heard me call Joss Whedon a bastard.



If you were in the theater with me that night you'd have heard me - within that same shocked moment after he got offed - literally shout "NO!" I couldn't help it, it just came out of me, and I think I pretty much spoke for everyone.

Great movie, great ending... Whedon's a bastard for playing with our emotions like that, but damn, it worked.
 
2008-02-27 03:03:52 PM  
gunga galunga

Very true. Were I the main character, I would have gone right for Dina, not only because she's a gorgeous redhead, but because she was cool. Denise was a vapid twit.
 
2008-02-27 03:03:58 PM  
Grinchy00: Total Morselization: AI should have ended with the robot kid frozen staring at the blue fairy waiting forever to become a real boy.

Completely agree! Did anyone happen to read the comments in the article? One poster said that people misunderstood AI and that those were not Aliens....but post-humans. Excuse my lack of sci-fi IQ, but WTF does that mean?


I bet if Kubrick had actually directed it instead of Spielberg that is how it would have ended....Kubrick would have also had the hot robot chick at the beginning of the movie completely disrobe and have her standing naked throughout the entire scene.
 
2008-02-27 03:05:27 PM  
UberDave: I don't know. I thought Orlando Jones getting stuck in the sphincter of a giant amoeba fit the rest of the movie pretty well...

Yeah. While I like the IDEA of the ending proposed, I don't think it would have fit the movie.
 
2008-02-27 03:05:51 PM  
Jakevol2: The ending of Star Wars III was least of the problems with the movie. The whole prequal series was a nonstarter from the beginning.

Anakin should have been presented to us from the beginning as a young man who despite his confidence in the cockpit was some what shy and timid. Padme should have been the Han Solo type pursuing Anakin as Han Solo pursued Leia in Empire Strikes Back. Anakin should have never been a whiny brat and certainly George Lucas should have presented Obi-Wan and Anakin as less a father son dynamic and more a blood brothers dynamic. The clones in the Clone Wars should have been the "BAD GUYS"

Its how I have imagined writing it since I was ten years old.


The one thing I will never forgive Lucas for is giving Jac Ass Binks about 20 minutes of screen time and Darth Maul roughly 90 seconds of actual screen time. For this alone, he should be banished. Oh yea, not really jazzed about Indiana Jones: the Search for my Walker>

//please forgive the Harrison bashing...he is still a bad a$$
 
2008-02-27 03:07:02 PM  
I like the suggested ending for Evolution. In hindsight it's obvious. Wishiathought of it.
 
2008-02-27 03:09:11 PM  
Grinchy00: The one thing I will never forgive Lucas for is giving Jac Ass Binks about 20 minutes of screen time and Darth Maul roughly 90 seconds of actual screen time. For this alone, he should be banished. Oh yea, not really jazzed about Indiana Jones: the Search for my Walker>

JarJar needed a death scene. A messy, painful death scene.
 
2008-02-27 03:11:39 PM  
"But...the way Padmé dies was a real letdown. What do you mean, she lost her will to live? What kind of limp fish way is that to go out?"

She lost her will the live because she sensed Anakin's transformation to the dark side was complete. At least that was my take.

I would have gotten rid of the retarded reaction of Vader though. I think they should have just gone with the Emperor telling Vader she had died, then slowly zoom into Vaders mask, stopping at his human eye at which point a tear would be shed. It would have gotten across his personal pain, yet outwardly he would have still seemed cold.
 
2008-02-27 03:11:48 PM  
Total Morselization: AI should have ended with the robot kid frozen staring at the blue fairy waiting forever to become a real boy.

Agreed. All that Steven Spielberg tacked-on bullshiat ruined the movie for me.
 
2008-02-27 03:16:40 PM  
Does anyone know why the ending of sign was so incredibly stupid? Was there indeed a reason for it to be so insanely moronic. I remember watching that movie and enjoying it until the ending, which completely pissed me off because of its stupidity.
 
kth
2008-02-27 03:18:34 PM  
Mart Laar's beard shaver: That death shocked me so much that I was totally convinced all the characters I loved so much were also going to die. That was the most uncomfortable I've been watching the ending of a sci-movie since Star Trek II.

So much this. I just watched the movie for the first time. I was spoiled, knew it was coming, in fact knew almost for certain when it was going to happen, and had time to prepare. I also figured if it was such a big deal that this one character died, then probably the rest of them were fine.

This did not stop me from being absolutely certain that the rest of them were going to die once they barricaded themselves in that room.

Also, one needs to remind me not to watch anything having to do with Reavers before bedtime. *shudder* What kind of weird m-fer comes up with such a villain. I do not want that in my subconscious.

I'd much rather have Jayne in my subconscious.

*add fark cliche here*
 
2008-02-27 03:19:00 PM  
All these responses, and not a single mention of Sunshine? (pops)
 
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