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(dayton daily news)   Val Kilmer doing radio ads for advanced weapons and radar systems giant Northrop Grumman   ( divider line
    More: Strange  
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68 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2002 at 11:29 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

51 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-10-31 10:28:22 AM  
I'm sure that this will be a thread ripping on Val Kilmer's recent box-office flops in the past few years - but I was pleasantly surprised by 2001's The Salton Sea which was very good. Czech. It. Out.

And you can't beat the one-liners from MadMartigan in Willow.

"Give me some water, peck!!!!"
2002-10-31 10:38:03 AM  
'I don't like to fly with you because you're dangerous'
2002-10-31 11:33:31 AM  
Warranty Registration Card

----------------------------------------------------------------------​-------- --

Lockheed Martin Tactical Aircraft Systems

----------------------------------------------------------------------​-------- --

Important! Important!

Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase

Thank you for purchasing a Lockheed Martin military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other

First Name____________________ Initial____ Last Name_______________________

Latitude______________________ Longitude_________________________________

Altitude______________________ Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________

2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?

_F-16A Falcon _F-16B Falcon _F-16C Falcon _F-16D Falcon _F-22 _Classified

3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________

4. Serial Number:____________________

5.Please check where this product was purchased:

_Received as Gift/Aid Package
_Sleazy Arms Broker
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_Discount Store
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6. Please check how you became aware of the Lockheed Martinproduct you have just purchased:

_Heard loud noise, looked up
_Store Display
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by Manufacturer
_Was attacked by one

7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your decision to purchase this Lockheed Martin product:

_Recommended by salesperson
_Lockheed Martins Reputation
_Advanced Weapons Systems
_Back-Room Politics
_Negative experience opposing one in combat

8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:

_North America
_Central/South America
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2002-10-31 11:34:53 AM  
Cloudy days stopping you from killing evil-doers?
Not any more, thanks to Northrop Grumman. Now you can have fun bombing the s--t out of everyone even on a rainy day.

Thank you Northrop Grumman!
2002-10-31 11:36:15 AM  
Ah, Real Genius

Kent Torokvei: You're all a bunch of degenerates!
Chris Knight: Oh, really? Well, what about that time I found you naked with that bowl of Jell-O?
Kent Torokvei: You did not!
Chris Knight: [To Mitch] This is true.
Kent Torokvei: Yeah, well it was hot and I was hungry!
2002-10-31 11:36:17 AM  
I'm gonna vote for Hagan. (note the link at the top of the article)
2002-10-31 11:36:48 AM  
You can be my wingman, anytime!
2002-10-31 11:38:47 AM  
The surrealism just thickens the farther you get from 9/11/01.
2002-10-31 11:38:58 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-31 11:40:17 AM  
"I'm Batman!"
2002-10-31 11:40:24 AM

"WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The United States has sued a military contractor for installing parts the government alleged it knew were defective in manufacturing target drones for the Navy, the Department of Justice said.

Assistant Attorney General Frank Hunger of the Civil Division said the Department intervened and filed an amended complaint Thursday in a qui tam suit originally brought against Northrop Grumman of Los Angeles in U.S. District Court in Los Angeles by a Northrop employee.

"This lawsuit demonstrates the government's commitment to pursue contractors who are alleged to have knowingly used parts substantially inferior than what the government paid for," said Hunger.

Under the qui tam provisions of the False Claims Act, a private citizen can sue on behalf of the United States and may share in any recovery.

The suit, which alleged violations of the False Claims Act, said Northrop, in selling the drones to the Navy, knew they contained substandard parts that failed to meet contract specifications and were faultily manufactured by Northrop's suppliers.

The faulty parts included vertical stabilizers, gyros, converter voltage regulators, engines, bulkheads, horizontal stabilizers and other equipment, the suit said.

In 1991, Northrop transferred its target drone operation from Newbury Park, California, to Hawthorne, California, and began acquiring parts from outside vendors instead of manufacturing the parts in-house as it had done previously, the suit said.

A government investigation confirmed that 32 target drones failed during operations at the Navy's Point Mugu, California, firing range from 1993 through 1995. Northrop, the suit said, had warranted that its target drones would be free from all defects in material and workmanship for 12 months.

Target drones are used by the Navy to provide realistic aerial targets that simulate enemy air threats for gunnery and missile training exercises. The drones can be launched from ships, aircraft or land-based installations.

The Naval Criminal Investigative Service's office in Upland, California, investigated the case.
2002-10-31 11:42:28 AM  
This is clearly promotion for his next flick
Top Secret 2 1/4 starring him, Anna Nicole Smith, Leslie Neilsen and Georger Kennedy. He's an undercover spy in this one.
2002-10-31 11:43:35 AM  
Harmonia - that was a lot of effort for a FARK post, pretty funny though.

Nobody sends in those things anymore anyway, I bet they spam you and want you to buy all sorts of other surplus military hardware.
2002-10-31 11:45:48 AM  
Oh, and "Real Genius" is one of my favorite movies! Which reminds me, taht he is considering doing the sequel "Son of Real Genius 3-D Extravaganza"
2002-10-31 11:46:42 AM  
Can't put a price on effective advertising. I'll take two.
2002-10-31 11:46:57 AM  
Well, he did portray an F14* pilot in the excerable Top Gun, so it makes a degree of twisted sense...

*F14's were originally built by Grumman.
2002-10-31 11:48:22 AM  
Folks, this is a good thing. It's either this, or he does more movies..
2002-10-31 11:49:11 AM  
Ice is Nice!!
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-31 11:52:09 AM  
"I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates, when he said: 'I drank what?'"
2002-10-31 11:55:02 AM  
This makes about as much sense as Sean Connery convincing Brits to start working for MI6.
2002-10-31 11:55:42 AM  
"Northrop Grumman - defining the future - a big glass parking lot"
2002-10-31 11:56:21 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

2002-10-31 11:57:40 AM  
I guess Kent got the Darlington job...

"these military people are so untrusting."
- Lazlo
2002-10-31 12:00:52 PM  
Northrop Grumman... Keeping the World Safe for Exxo... er , um, Democracy.
2002-10-31 12:02:54 PM  
I stole it Mad

2002-10-31 12:20:46 PM  
Val Kilmer also has a tumor on his elbow. Really, check it out:

[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-31 12:21:09 PM  
Mitch Taylor would never shill for the defense industry. I believe it's all a ploy to get in on the inside. I'd say once you found out what Laslo was up to, you'd find out what is really going on.
2002-10-31 12:21:22 PM  
Did they finally get the voltage problem corrected for the "Anal Intruder" ?
2002-10-31 12:26:52 PM  

All this time, I thought Kilmer was a mellow, peace-loving hippie dude living out in Santa Fe, perhaps getting all stymied and staring at the mountains.

Stymie is confused by this.
2002-10-31 12:34:23 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

The killer awoke before dawn
He put his boots on
He took a face from the ancient gallery
And he walked on down the hall
He went to into the room where his sister lived
And then he paid a visit to his brother
And then he, he walked on down the hall
And he came to a door, and he looked inside
Father?-Yes, son?-I want to kill you,
Mother, I want to...

2002-10-31 12:37:19 PM  

do you have to be a total fark to get your links posted? has anyone who is not part of the total fark crowd actually had links posted before?
2002-10-31 12:49:25 PM  

I kinda noticed that, too.
2002-10-31 12:57:52 PM  
"Was it a dream where you see yourself standng in sort of Sun God robes on a pyrimid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickels at you?"
2002-10-31 12:57:57 PM  
What I never understood about the whole Real Genius plot line was: Why was the fact that the laser was intended to be a weapon such a bad thing?

Really, when you think about it, a weapon so precise and so clean is a MUCH better way of removing "undesireables" than say INVADING AN ENTIRE COUNTRY to try the exact same thing. Less collateral damage, and fewer friendly casulties.
2002-10-31 01:01:12 PM  
Worst... Batman... Ever.
2002-10-31 01:06:57 PM  
Real Genius, Top Gun, and The Doors--all the other movies are crap.
2002-10-31 01:10:23 PM  
Yes, yes. Let's build multi-million dollar missile silos in Alaska to defend ourselves against some nomad in the desert with a camel and an assault rifle and call it "missile defense."

I think according to the DOD, we're still in a Cold War with the Commies.

2002-10-31 01:59:16 PM  
Millay: Heat?
2002-10-31 01:59:58 PM  
Carolyn99: No. Yes.
2002-10-31 02:25:18 PM  
I've only been farking for about five months and haven't had any submissions posted.

I've also noticed that many successful submissions suck .

But I'll keep trying...
2002-10-31 02:58:39 PM  
Thanks. Crazed (other) made my day.
2002-10-31 04:30:23 PM  
I'm pretty sure this deserves the "who farking cares" tag.
2002-10-31 04:50:40 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-31 04:57:57 PM  
Real Genius - one of my all time favorite 80's flicks. I even have the soundtrack.

The use of a laser is better than invading, as BDShap00 pointed out. Just find their location and zap them from orbit. Cheaper and quicker, too.
2002-10-31 05:31:45 PM  
*hides Northrop Grumman employee badge*
2002-10-31 06:05:54 PM  
He is not!
2002-10-31 06:15:54 PM  
I'm your huckleberry.
2002-10-31 06:16:38 PM  
is killing me as usual...
2002-11-01 12:53:57 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Possibly the coolest character in any movie, ever.

To me, at least.

(Kilmer as Doc Holliday in Tombstone.)
2002-11-01 03:24:35 AM  

I totally agree with you Gold_phinger. Tombstone is one of my favorite movies and Val Kilmer definitely made it what it was.

I would have to actually say that Kilmer is one of the most talented actors around, from comedy to action to drama, he can do it all.

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