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(MSNBC)   Mexico actually HAS vampires   (msnbc.com ) divider line
    More: Scary  
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226 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Oct 2002 at 10:09 AM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



80 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2002-10-31 10:13:27 AM  
My uncle got bit by a vampire bat once... he didn't turn into a vampire or anything, but he turned into a yuppie.

Still a blood sucking scum of the world I guess. Same difference.
 
2002-10-31 10:13:48 AM  
I got attacked by a bat once. I was about 10 years old in my back yard and one swooped down and smacked me in the head.

Okay, I guess I wasn't really ATTAKCED, but it sounds a lot cooler when I say it that way.
 
2002-10-31 10:14:11 AM  
Besides President Fox? Horrors!

"We have documented in indigenous communities that they will feed on humans,"
 
2002-10-31 10:16:08 AM  
I'm the necromancer, I'm the necro-man.

I arise at night to seek flesh to dine...


...unfortunately mine...
 
2002-10-31 10:17:20 AM  
"We have documented in indigenous communities that they will feed on humans," said Steve Walker, executive director of Texas-based Bat Conservation International.

I'm more frightened that there really is a Walker, Texas Ranger.
 
2002-10-31 10:18:11 AM  
MEXICO HAS VAMPIRES....


......in the form of a bat...ha ha dumbasses you believed mexico had vampires and we in the press fooled you.

I hate the press.

Does anyone in the world not know of Vampire Bats?
 
2002-10-31 10:18:45 AM  
There are no such things as vampires.

This is, of course, going by the assumption that a vampire has to bite one victim a night, and that when the victim is bitten by a vampire, the victim becomes one as well.

Mathematically, this is literally impossible. I'm not sure where the formula is, if it's online, but if I'm in the mood later or have the time I'll pull it up. Essentially, just keep doubling the number of people for each night.

1
2
4
8
16
32
64
128
256
512
etc. etc. etc. If you go by this, then you are going to have the entire population of planet Earth nothing but vampires in slightly under a year.
 
2002-10-31 10:20:50 AM  
Don't forget the Chupacabras.
 
2002-10-31 10:21:32 AM  
Captain_Insano: So you're saying we only have a year to stop this??!?
 
2002-10-31 10:22:13 AM  
Captain_Insano: what of the Anne Rice method, of blood exchange. Then it could be possible to have a small population of vampires amoung us.
 
2002-10-31 10:22:23 AM  
" The vampire bats are, however, genteel enough to spit out a bit of natural anesthetic and an anticoagulant that has new medical uses."

Well, that's pretty cool, IMO.

It's a shame bats have such a bad reputation - they really do a lot of good, what with pollinating plants and eating an average of like 1000 mosquitos a night. Of course not vampire bats, though, but it wouldn't be Fark if we didn't get at least a little off-thread.
 
2002-10-31 10:22:57 AM  
Anne Rice was wrong. And not a vampire.
 
2002-10-31 10:23:13 AM  
Of course it does! Has no one seen that documentary on it, "From Dusk 'til Dawn"?

Duuur...
 
2002-10-31 10:23:53 AM  
...yawwwnn...
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
2002-10-31 10:24:09 AM  
Goatman264- Si
 
2002-10-31 10:25:44 AM  
If there really are mexican vampires why don't they just fly over the border instead of jumping fences and digging tunnels. sounds much easier.
 
2002-10-31 10:27:04 AM  
The vampires are in a bar called the "Titty Twister" in Mexico.
 
2002-10-31 10:27:07 AM  
Mexico has zombies too, ya know!? And they've infiltrated the US!
It's true!
I see them outside QuikTrip every morning!
They stand around, staring at the pretty girls, drooling, eyes glazed over! Moaning!
And they smell funny, too!
 
2002-10-31 10:28:10 AM  
I was getting some work done, I really was. Then I came over here and look at fark and all of the intelligence drained out of my head. I need a caffeine infusion if I'm going to do any more programming.
 
2002-10-31 10:28:58 AM  
Captain_Insano:

Way to ruin all our fun with MATH >:-P
 
2002-10-31 10:30:03 AM  
No kidding Goatman264. What were they thinking?

[image from hollywoodframeworks.com too old to be available]
 
2002-10-31 10:30:54 AM  
If I could get vampire bats in my bat house, I'd invite people to camp in my backyard.
 
2002-10-31 10:32:31 AM  
Mexico has bats
 
2002-10-31 10:33:35 AM  
[image from digitalnaturalist.com too old to be available]

Rat bat blue- duhm da da duhm da dumh da
 
2002-10-31 10:36:08 AM  
Do you think Mexican farmers are genteel enough not to sell rabid beef?
 
2002-10-31 10:36:16 AM  
bats are awesome. i see them flying around once in a while at dusk. here's a little known fact, one not totally known even by me. the girl on the wonder years who had a pet bat is a somewhat more famous actress today, but damn if I can remember who she is. oh well.
 
2002-10-31 10:36:29 AM  
The farmers should just leave them alone. I bet they're really cute with their Romanian accents and tiny little tuxedos.
 
2002-10-31 10:38:48 AM  
Ese Loco "Bat-a-Boi"!
[image from weeklyworldnews.com too old to be available]
 
2002-10-31 10:39:27 AM  
Hats for bats.... keep bats warm!!!
 
Mex
2002-10-31 10:40:36 AM  
Yeah, we have vampires!

The worst part is they're supposedly elected by the majority.
 
2002-10-31 10:41:44 AM  
:)

[image from freepages.family.rootsweb.com too old to be available]
 
2002-10-31 10:47:21 AM  
stubbyhead: Don't Bogart that joint my freind...
 
DB
2002-10-31 10:47:45 AM  
stubblyhead

her name is lindsay fisher & she was on "roseanne" for a while.

if you're talking wonder years girls, give me olivia d'abo. mmm.

oh yeah, something about vampires.
 
2002-10-31 10:48:05 AM  
I can't believe somebody hasn't yet posted about the Bon Jovi Blockbuster "Vampires 2 : Los Muertos". Starring Darius "The Son on Family Matters " McCrary. He would put a stop to these bloodsuckers.
 
2002-10-31 10:48:25 AM  
We have vampire bats down in the islands. They don't turn you into a vampire, but they have been known to carry rabies. Rabies makes you want to go out and bite people as if you were a wild animal. And whoever you bit could also get t3h rabies.

Possibly where the whole vampire legend got started.
 
2002-10-31 10:51:28 AM  
Spiritauthor,

You have a good eye for spotting a person suffering from acute discombobulation.
 
2002-10-31 10:51:33 AM  
I don't think they're vampires. I think a moulage casting would help make a better identification.

[image from x-philia.co.uk too old to be available]

Moulage casting. That's a good idea.
 
2002-10-31 10:52:19 AM  
hmm, true enough, DB, but I thought that she was someone totally different, like someone who's hot and famous today. wonder where I dreamed that up...
 
2002-10-31 10:53:52 AM  
Yeah but El Chupacabres only drink blood from goats, so we're safe
 
2002-10-31 10:54:50 AM  
[image from cs.rose-hulman.edu too old to be available]
 
2002-10-31 10:55:14 AM  
And here I thought it'd be a stupid article about chupacabra... it's just an equally stupid article about vampire bats.
 
2002-10-31 10:56:42 AM  
I saw a vampire once - 'twas a tiny little white thing, with tiny little paws, and a snuffly nose. Squeaked a lot.
 
2002-10-31 10:58:36 AM  
El Chupacabres,

I was trying to remember his name. Scary monster who terroizes the good peyote chomping people of Quintana Roo.

I am a crow, the crow is a river, aaahahahahahahahaha.

Apologies to Carlos Castenada.
 
2002-10-31 10:58:44 AM  
I don't fear El Chupicaricaturas or whatever they are - my horns are like a SHIELD OF... er... steel?
 
2002-10-31 11:00:52 AM  
[image from fearnloathing.com too old to be available]
This is bat country.
 
2002-10-31 11:02:59 AM  
You sure it isn't El Chupacabra
[image from qtm.net too old to be available]
 
2002-10-31 11:03:13 AM  
Speaking about necromancers..

Do they have dyingrooms rather than livingrooms?
 
2002-10-31 11:06:45 AM  
nice one, billdarryl, that was an awesome x-files.
 
2002-10-31 11:13:52 AM  
vampires suck
 
DB
2002-10-31 11:15:53 AM  
sternerverse,

bite me.
 
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