There are people out there who hate motorcycles and when provoked by one, they'll target their rage at any biker they see. Not unlike the hate for SUV drivers.

When I was living in L.A., I'd commute to downtown everyday on an old Suzuki. One day I was pulling past a Ryder truck on the 5 and the driver started to swerve into my lane. I started honking and he kept coming into my lane. I managed to get past him before he moved in, and as I looked him he gave me an evil grin. No reason, no provocation. Just a jerk.

Much more recently someone in a mustang was trying to ram motorcyclists on the bay bridge. I think one provoked him early on and for the rest of the bridge span he was gunning for other bikes and yelling obsenities at the riders.

Well I use Mac/Linux...: When the H2 first came out I almost got side swiped by one when the driver "merged" onto the highway I was on by cutting across 3 lanes and forcing me into the median. Yes he was on his phone. If I had a gun, I really think I would have made the news that night.

Another time I was almost hit making a right turn on green, by a man in an SUV who ran a red light to turn left across 4 lanes. When he almost hit me he had the nerve to lay on the horn like it was my fault. We both had our windows down so I told him "I had the green light asshole" and blasted him with an epic middle finger.

Still, nothing is worse than people who ride bicycles on major roadways. That shiat makes me want to punch a baby.

For several years, my motorcycle was my sole means of transportation. I'd ring up about 30k miles\yr. Being nearly run off the road was about a biweekly occurrence. You really can't dispute lane ownership with a vehicle that is several times your mass. Getting angry or upset only makes you more prone to making a potentially fatal mistake.

If you really feel the need to express yourself however, remember that you have vastly greater acceleration and maneuverability and that hand gestures are vastly more visible on a motorcycle. I've also knocked politely on a driver's window at 65mph before when I've been cut off. You'd be amazed how quickly they move back over.

flaming99: ahh, motorcycle riders...people who don't think the rules apply to them - unless it's convienent.

Ahh, idiots who make sweeping generalizations about people they don't know based on their own prejudices.

flaming99: OK:
Ride double
Ride without a helmet (in helmet law states)
Pass in no passing zones
Weave in and out of traffic doing 100Mph
Ride in between lanes of traffic

Yes, because every motorcyclist does that. I guess with a name like flaming, we can't expect much... I like your justification for violence. Does that mean as a "jackass" motorcyclist I can shoot the next person that cuts me off while on their phone?

Oh and if by riding double, you mean two bikes side by side, thats legal in most states, check your laws before you speak. There are actually some places that allow you to ride between lanes of traffic too.

flaming99: ahh, motorcycle riders...people who don't think the rules apply to them - unless it's convienent.

OK:
Ride double
Ride without a helmet (in helmet law states)
Pass in no passing zones
Weave in and out of traffic doing 100Mph
Ride in between lanes of traffic

NOT OK:
Running their dumb ass over for acting like a jackass on a bike


I think I understand now.

I think the rest of us would be more willing to share the road with you if you stopped being a douchebag and learn to follow the rules.

Not all motorcyclists are like this. I know plenty of motorcyclists who don't weave in and out of traffic, wear helmets, etc. My ex-boyfriend is one of them. And his ass almost got smeared across Dodge Street (the busiest city street in Omaha besides the interstate systems) by some SUV driving soccer mom who was too busy on her cell phone to notice she just cut him off.

/I've rode with him on his motorcycle and didn't feel like I was in danger
//you are probably referring to the crotch rocket douchebags who dodge between traffic on the freeway going 95

themetalking: Oh and if by riding double, you mean two bikes side by side, thats legal in most states, check your laws before you speak. There are actually some places that allow you to ride between lanes of traffic too.

So those bumper stickers about giving a motorcycle just as much space as a car are wrong then?

cubsfan07: Can't we just agree that EVERYONE drives like an asshole?

If you have an SUV or anything bigger, you basically drive like you are bigger and better than everything else on the road and act like everyone should just get out of your way.

If you have a tiny shiatbox like a Civic, Mini, etc, you zip around and act like you can speed up and squeeze through anything.

If you have a motorcycle, you act like any spot on the entire road wide enough for you to get through is your own personal lane, and you'll do 120mph through it to prove so.

I drive a minivan, so I'm getting a kick out of this reply.

sarahelizabeth: /I've rode with him on his motorcycle and didn't feel like I was in danger
//you are probably referring to the crotch rocket douchebags who dodge between traffic on the freeway going 95

While texting...

I saw that one this summer.

Thrag: flaming99: ahh, motorcycle riders...people who don't think the rules apply to them - unless it's convienent.

Ahh, idiots who make sweeping generalizations about people they don't know based on their own prejudices Fark.com.

Now with more truthiness.

/your favorite band sucks!
//People from your state are ass backward morans!
///No one on the road knows how to drive but me!

You don't have to be a motorist to be an asshole. I live in a city with lots of bicycle traffic. It's not unusual for me to be crossing with the light and almost get run into by a bike because a lot of cyclists think that traffic laws don't apply to them. They think riding on busy sidewalks is okay, even when the street has a bike lane. They think lights don't apply to them, I almost ran over a guy who turned the corner on a busy street and joined up with traffic without slowing down. He was probably 6 inches from my passenger side.

Of course we also have assholes on motorcycles who think they should pass in traffic in city streets. We have SUV drivers on cellphones not watching pedestrians or traffic signals. Yesterday a guy in a sedan who had been parked illegally on the corner almost backed over me while I crossed the street. And in addition to all of that, we have idiot pedestrians. There is an insanely busy Trader Joe's I sometimes go to after work with very limited parking. At that time of day the traffic is ridiculous on the three lane street its on. I've seen a dozen or more idiots jaywalking with toddlers because they parked across the street, dodging traffic the entire time.

Everyone is an asshole, regardless of their mode of transportation.

tweekster: themetalking: Oh and if by riding double, you mean two bikes side by side, thats legal in most states, check your laws before you speak. There are actually some places that allow you to ride between lanes of traffic too.

So those bumper stickers about giving a motorcycle just as much space as a car are wrong then?

Motorcyclists can choose to double up in a lane but drivers in a car don't have the right to force a motorcyclist out of a lane its in.

sarahelizabeth:
Not all motorcyclists are like this. I know plenty of motorcyclists who don't weave in and out of traffic, wear helmets, etc. My ex-boyfriend is one of them. And his ass almost got smeared across Dodge Street (the busiest city street in Omaha besides the interstate systems) by some SUV driving soccer mom who was too busy on her cell phone to notice she just cut him off.

/I've rode with him on his motorcycle and didn't feel like I was in danger
//you are probably referring to the crotch rocket douchebags who dodge between traffic on the freeway going 95

Nice generalization in a post about not generalizing.

themetalking: tweekster: themetalking: Oh and if by riding double, you mean two bikes side by side, thats legal in most states, check your laws before you speak. There are actually some places that allow you to ride between lanes of traffic too.

So those bumper stickers about giving a motorcycle just as much space as a car are wrong then?

Motorcyclists can choose to double up in a lane but drivers in a car don't have the right to force a motorcyclist out of a lane its in.

Can I atleast throw water bottles and misc garbage at them?

Beatlefreak, thanks for the Totalfark (in case you haven't viewed my profile).

Minivans with children and a driver talking on the cellphone are one of my worst enemies on the road. The order of priority for them is:

1. The phone conversation
2. Kids and keeping them quiet in order to maintain the phone conversation
3. Paying attention to driving, maybe.

tweekster: So those bumper stickers about giving a motorcycle just as much space as a car are wrong then?

Your dichotomy, it is false.

FTFA:...striking Mr Wisdom with a mallet and driving his car, described in court as a red Daihatsu jeep, into his motorcycle injuring the men to the danger of life.

It's getting to where the undead aren't even safe on the roads anymore!

Gunny Highway
Happens to me more often than you would think. That is why i carry a gun.

No need to do that when you know people...

anti-nescience

//you are probably referring to the crotch rocket douchebags who dodge between traffic on the freeway going 95

Nice generalization in a post about not generalizing.


That person referred to a very specific group of people. Ride a crotch rocket but don't do 95 through traffic? You're not in the group. Don't make me draw a Venn diagram.

Further, generalizations are only an issue when they are inaccurate. How else would you describe someone on a crotch rocket that weaves through traffic at 95mph?

Perhaps I can help some of the cagers (car drivers) out there help understand the whole speeding and weaving thing...

On a motorcycle, you're practically invisible and it's much easier to avoid what's ahead of you than someone who might not see you coming up behind you going faster than you. It is actually safer to move faster than the flow of traffic by 10-20mph on a motorcycle.

ALL your safety on a motorcycle is active safety, dependent on you - your ability to see any dangers and be able to react to them. You have no airbags, no roll cage, no seat belt, and only two wheels. All it takes is a gentle tap at higher speeds and you're going to be dead, or at least in very bad shape. On the plus side, you're much more maneuverable, have more acceleration than most cars that cost under 6 figures, and you can fit into spaces that a car simply can't in order to escape a bad situation.

/ok, the helmet and moon suit are a touch of passive safety
//and yes, there are plenty of squids that are doing it wrong
///and yes, they do have hats that look suspiciously like asses.

Englebert Slaptyback: anti-nescience

//you are probably referring to the crotch rocket douchebags who dodge between traffic on the freeway going 95

Nice generalization in a post about not generalizing.


That person referred to a very specific group of people. Ride a crotch rocket but don't do 95 through traffic? You're not in the group. Don't make me draw a Venn diagram.

Further, generalizations are only an issue when they are inaccurate. How else would you describe someone on a crotch rocket that weaves through traffic at 95mph?

But not all people who ride crotch rockets are douchebags. Let me see that diagram.

Overheard conversation between two bikers:

"Where can I get one of those cellphone jammers? I'm sick of drivers talking on their phone and nearly hitting me."

"Use a sledgehammer, never needs batteries."

tweekster: themetalking: tweekster: themetalking: Oh and if by riding double, you mean two bikes side by side, thats legal in most states, check your laws before you speak. There are actually some places that allow you to ride between lanes of traffic too.

So those bumper stickers about giving a motorcycle just as much space as a car are wrong then?

Motorcyclists can choose to double up in a lane but drivers in a car don't have the right to force a motorcyclist out of a lane its in.

Can I atleast throw water bottles and misc garbage at them?

This why I carry a pocket full of dead 9volt batteries. Motorist cuts me off, toss it over the shoulder. Instant attention getter if it his the windshield just right ;)

tweekster: themetalking: tweekster: themetalking: Oh and if by riding double, you mean two bikes side by side, thats legal in most states, check your laws before you speak. There are actually some places that allow you to ride between lanes of traffic too.

So those bumper stickers about giving a motorcycle just as much space as a car are wrong then?

Motorcyclists can choose to double up in a lane but drivers in a car don't have the right to force a motorcyclist out of a lane its in.

Can I atleast throw water bottles and misc garbage at them?

Only if you don't mind us pulling in front of you and tossing coins, screws, and ball bearings at your windshield.

/Not that I would, but I know plenty of riders who keep such things in their tankbags for that very purpose.

cubsfan07: Can't we just agree that EVERYONE drives like an asshole?

If you have an SUV or anything bigger, you basically drive like you are bigger and better than everything else on the road and act like everyone should just get out of your way.

If you have a tiny shiatbox like a Civic, Mini, etc, you zip around and act like you can speed up and squeeze through anything.

If you have a motorcycle, you act like any spot on the entire road wide enough for you to get through is your own personal lane, and you'll do 120mph through it to prove so.

/asshole driver
//proud

VR6Rattles: Having lived in cities where the knuckle-draggers with no mufflers would cruise till all hours of the night...I'm going to have to side with the SUV guy on this one.

Loud pipes don't save lives, it just pisses off the non-motorcyclists who could kill you with a flick of the wrist.

I hate people who drive SUV's and loud motorcycles (live near a bar where Harley farkers like to show off their ride at 2am)

I wish they had both beaten each other to death.

bigjnsa: This why I carry a pocket full of dead 9volt batteries. Motorist cuts me off, toss it over the shoulder. Instant attention getter if it his the windshield just right ;)

Congratulations, you can be charged with attempted murder or assault with a deadly weapon.

A case just occurred in milwaukee that was similar, some kid threw a ball bearing off of an overpass and killed a driver.

bigjnsa: tweekster: themetalking: tweekster: themetalking: Oh and if by riding double, you mean two bikes side by side, thats legal in most states, check your laws before you speak. There are actually some places that allow you to ride between lanes of traffic too.

So those bumper stickers about giving a motorcycle just as much space as a car are wrong then?

Motorcyclists can choose to double up in a lane but drivers in a car don't have the right to force a motorcyclist out of a lane its in.

Can I atleast throw water bottles and misc garbage at them?

This why I carry a pocket full of dead 9volt batteries. Motorist cuts me off, toss it over the shoulder. Instant attention getter if it his the windshield just right ;)

If you really want to get vindictive, a spark plug will shatter glass like you wouldn't believe. I've seen it done, and while I don't approve, the Lincoln Navigator driver kinda had it coming.

I tap on their driver-side window after they force me out of my lane, they glance over while saying "something just hit my window" to whomever is on the other end of the cell-phone conversation. Their eyes get really wide as they see me, then see the .40 on my hip, then I get my lane back.

I hate those crotch rocket douchebags who weave through traffic at 105 too (cant say 95, 95 wouldn't even pass 90% of traffic on the freeway in my city). I ride a crotch rocket, I wear a full-face helmet and armored jacket even when it's 115 out...but those squids pissing cagers off make my ride much more difficult.

Beatlefreak: You made me laugh, so you got the prize! If you keep making me laugh, I'll renew it.

That's very cool of you, thanks.

anti-nescience

But not all people who ride crotch rockets are douchebags. Let me see that diagram.


Okay, now it's on... :-)

*rolls up sleeves*


[---motorcyclists---[crotch-rocket-riders---[---through_traffic---[d-bags---[95m ph ]--------]--------]- -------]--------]


That only worked (??) because it is possible to be a d-bag in traffic without going 95mph.


I think it will work better using Boolean operators and pseudocode:


IF (motorcyclist && crotch-rocket && 95mph && through_traffic)
THEN d-bag == TRUE

The_Sponge: I don't really care what you drive, as long as you're not one of those jerks who goes EXACTLY the speed limit. Don't be a wuss....it's okay to do 5-10 mph over the limit.

/Except that one time a CHP officer gave me a ticket for doing 75 in a 70 on I-5.

Yeah. What a bunch of jerks, obeying the law and shiat. farking assholes, I hope they die of cancer.

/you know who I hate more than asshole drivers and motorcyclists?
//People that biatch about other people practicing safe and legal driving habits
///Speed limits? Blinkers? Brakelights? What a bunch of assholes.

crevans: tweekster: themetalking: tweekster: themetalking: Oh and if by riding double, you mean two bikes side by side, thats legal in most states, check your laws before you speak. There are actually some places that allow you to ride between lanes of traffic too.

So those bumper stickers about giving a motorcycle just as much space as a car are wrong then?

Motorcyclists can choose to double up in a lane but drivers in a car don't have the right to force a motorcyclist out of a lane its in.

Can I atleast throw water bottles and misc garbage at them?

Only if you don't mind us pulling in front of you and tossing coins, screws, and ball bearings at your windshield.

/Not that I would, but I know plenty of riders who keep such things in their tankbags for that very purpose.

This works for car drivers as well. Sunroof + AA batteries + faster than average acceleration = sweet sweet revenge.

Beatlefreak: tweekster: bigjnsa: This why I carry a pocket full of dead 9volt batteries. Motorist cuts me off, toss it over the shoulder. Instant attention getter if it his the windshield just right ;)

Congratulations, you can be charged with attempted murder or assault with a deadly weapon.

A case just occurred in milwaukee that was similar, some kid threw a ball bearing off of an overpass and killed a driver.

My state had the bowling ball off the bridge.

HA!

Well that's different. I don't ride an overpass.

Beatlefreak: TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Beatlefreak: You made me laugh, so you got the prize! If you keep making me laugh, I'll renew it.

That's very cool of you, thanks.

No problem. I just suddenly got the urge to make someone's day better than mine has been, and better than the next few days will be. (long story.)

Well, I appreciate it very much.

Englebert Slaptyback: anti-nescience

But not all people who ride crotch rockets are douchebags. Let me see that diagram.


Okay, now it's on... :-)

*rolls up sleeves*


[---motorcyclists---[crotch-rocket-riders---[---through_traffic---[d-bags---[95 m ph ]--------]--------]- -------]--------]


That only worked (??) because it is possible to be a d-bag in traffic without going 95mph.


I think it will work better using Boolean operators and pseudocode:


IF (motorcyclist && crotch-rocket && 95mph && through_traffic)
THEN d-bag == TRUE

must add the following:
d-bag = ((motorcyclist)&&(crotch-rocket)&&(95mph)&&(through_traffic)&&(traffic < 80mph) )

there are many parameters to douchebaggery.

sarahelizabeth: flaming99: ahh, motorcycle riders...people who don't think the rules apply to them - unless it's convienent.

OK:
Ride double
Ride without a helmet (in helmet law states)
Pass in no passing zones
Weave in and out of traffic doing 100Mph
Ride in between lanes of traffic

NOT OK:
Running their dumb ass over for acting like a jackass on a bike


I think I understand now.

I think the rest of us would be more willing to share the road with you if you stopped being a douchebag and learn to follow the rules.

Not all motorcyclists are like this. I know plenty of motorcyclists who don't weave in and out of traffic, wear helmets, etc. My ex-boyfriend is one of them. And his ass almost got smeared across Dodge Street (the busiest city street in Omaha besides the interstate systems) by some SUV driving soccer mom who was too busy on her cell phone to notice she just cut him off.

/I've rode with him on his motorcycle and didn't feel like I was in danger
//you are probably referring to the crotch rocket douchebags who dodge between traffic on the freeway going 95


And not ALL SUV drivers are bad.
Why don't we just admit there are asshole drivers of every vehicle available?

I had a deal with an idiot driver of a tour bus. He was mostly in the left lane, so I passed on the right. This was in town, and my apartments were about two blocks farther.

Idiot bus driver decided that I'd offended him somehow, so he acted like he was going to hit me, and laid on the horn as he passed. He didn't clear me by much.

Well, this wasn't the US, but I am. This was Colombia and many things are different there. So I fired my little bike back up and caught up with the bus. The road follows the river and there aren't any good place to turn off or alternate routes.

I got the ID number of the bus, and tried to get a face ID on the driver. So he tried to push me into the oncoming traffic.

I missed whatever cars there were (don't remember really) pulled off on the wrong side of this two lane backtop highway.

I called a friend in Bogotá, because she knows how to deal with the police. She called in and reported everything. Twenty minutes up the highway, the bus had to pass through a small village that had a police station. They knew the brand of bus to look for. They collected all of his id and provided it to my friend, as well and the license and tregistration info on the bus. They also fined him something around 3 million pesos($1000), on the spot. They charged him with reckless driving, excess of speed and something else.

No witnesses apparently were required. My friend might have storied and said I was employed by the US embassy, instead of contract TO the embassy...

M4CARBINE:


And not ALL SUV drivers are bad.
Why don't we just admit there are asshole drivers of every vehicle available?

What fun would that be?

Sounds like the exact opposite of the US.

Pantload: They also fined him something around 3 million pesos($1000), on the spot. They charged him with reckless driving, excess of speed and something else.

They have pesos in Colombia? I thought they used bolivars.

/or maybe that's Venezuela...

VR6Rattles: crevans

Yeah, but we're a much much smaller target and a smart motorcyclist can and will change directions the second your hand goes out the window. Plus the aerodynamics of your car is going to suck whatever you toss towards the middle of your car's draft to varying degrees.

But seriously, enough with all the hostility on the roads folks. Just be aware that you're moving a couple tons of potentially lethal metal down the road at a high rate of speed and pay due attention to it. That's all I ask. I'd be really happy if y'all could wait till you get where you're going to drop off your trash too, but one step at a time.

/has dodged more cigarette butts and plastic cups than you'd imagine.