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(CBS2Chicago.com) Weeners Chicago-area fourth graders' field trip is ruined by a naked guy masturbating while driving next to their bus. In his defense, their school is called Wood View Elementary   (cbs2chicago.com ) divider line
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7814 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Feb 2008 at 9:11 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



113 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2008-02-22 07:04:37 PM  
Ahh yes. Wood View Elementary in my hometown of Bolingbrook, IL. Alma mater of my sister.

/it always seems to be Bolingbrook. Why? WHY?
 
2008-02-22 07:11:41 PM  
Oh man, did I laugh at that headline.
 
2008-02-22 07:25:53 PM  
I hate Illinois masturbaters.
 
2008-02-22 07:36:51 PM  
hitchking: Oh man, did I laugh at that headline.

Seconded. Maybe they'll rename the school to "Knotty Pine Elementary: We Warp Young Minds"
 
2008-02-22 09:13:21 PM  
What the hell type of tag is this? is this a TF only tag normally?
 
2008-02-22 09:14:12 PM  
Damn that's a good un!
 
2008-02-22 09:14:28 PM  
Sublime_Influence: What the hell type of tag is this? is this a TF only tag normally?

You must be new here.
 
2008-02-22 09:15:51 PM  
Hold the bus for a moment. You can get arrested for that?
 
2008-02-22 09:15:58 PM  
This is a fairly common occurrence around Chicago. When i was in school there, it seemed this happened on just about every field trip.
 
2008-02-22 09:16:08 PM  
Well there's a new tag....
 
2008-02-22 09:17:29 PM  
Zulgaines: Well there's a new tag....

http://img1.fark.net/images/2002/topics/weeners.gif

Not really.
 
2008-02-22 09:17:43 PM  
as a chicagoan who likes nudity and scandalous touching, i am already getting a kick out of this thread
 
2008-02-22 09:17:57 PM  
I can tell you from personal experience that it's hard to focus on unimportant stuff like color, make, model, and size of vehicles around you while masturbating and driving. Hell it's hard enough to focus on just Masturbating and Driving.

He couldn't help the school had kids on the road during the day when they should of been in class learning anyways.
 
2008-02-22 09:18:29 PM  
InternetLOL: Zulgaines: Well there's a new tag....

http://img1.fark.net/images/2002/topics/weeners.gif

Not really.


It is quite rare though
 
2008-02-22 09:19:01 PM  
This happened to me once when my boyfriend and I were driving I80 to Sacramento. My 12 year old goddaughter was in the backseat. Some perv drove next to us and started masturbating. I saw him first, and told my goddaughter to move to the other side of the car, so she couldn't see the perv. Then my boyfriend forced him off the road and kicked his behind. The funny part was while my boyfriend beat him up, his weiner was still hangin' out his pants.

Couldn't help myself, I laughed the whole time.
 
2008-02-22 09:19:03 PM  
This thread is perfectly useful without pics.

/ Nice headline, subby.
 
2008-02-22 09:19:07 PM  
It's headlines like this that make me think the $5 would be worth it just to vote.
 
2008-02-22 09:19:19 PM  
slideaway: It is quite rare though

Which is odd considering how much of a sausage fest Fark usually is.
 
2008-02-22 09:19:48 PM  
I don't want anybody else,
When I think of busdrivers I touch myself...
 
2008-02-22 09:19:48 PM  
paranoidandroid: Sublime_Influence: What the hell type of tag is this? is this a TF only tag normally?

You must be new here.


I knew it existed, I've just never seen it.

A similar thing happened to me when my church bus was on its way to Riverside (now six flags I think). There was a couple that saw we were a church bus (written on the side), they followed next to us, flashing both his wiener and her proverbial Boobiess at us. Good times (only good part about the whole church experience if you ask me).
 
2008-02-22 09:19:56 PM  
InternetLOL: Zulgaines: Well there's a new tag....

http://img1.fark.net/images/2002/topics/weeners.gif

Not really.


I guess I missed the seminar on the dong tag.
 
2008-02-22 09:20:01 PM  
I really thought you were joking about the name of the school. But alas, no.
 
2008-02-22 09:20:15 PM  
Brilliant use of the Weeners tag, subbyKiribub: hitchking: Oh man, did I laugh at that headline.

Seconded. Maybe they'll rename the school to "Knotty Pine Elementary: We Warp Young Minds"


Thirdeded. Brilliant use of the Weeners tag, subby.
 
2008-02-22 09:20:16 PM  
Thought for a moment that fark slipped back in a time warp.
One could get some risque links back a few years ago.
 
2008-02-22 09:20:37 PM  
As an Illinoisan, a driver, and a masturbator, I would like to thank this guy for ruining it for the rest of us.
 
2008-02-22 09:20:57 PM  
Bwahahahahahahah!
 
2008-02-22 09:21:06 PM  
well, you can see where he's coming from.
 
2008-02-22 09:21:20 PM  
Zulgaines: I guess I missed the seminar on the dong tag.

You didn't get the memo about that?
 
2008-02-22 09:21:23 PM  
The wheels on the bus go fap fap fap ...
 
2008-02-22 09:21:25 PM  
I haven't seen the weener tag in ages
 
2008-02-22 09:21:45 PM  
I wouldn't have had to do it myself if one of those girl would've given me a hand...
 
2008-02-22 09:24:18 PM  
We had a guy who used to drive around Penn State's main campus and whack off while looking at people.
3 frats, actually did something cool.
They figured out where he lived and stalked him long enough to figure out his perverted pattern.
Then, instead of going all vigelante, went to the police, and backed off while the cops did their job of vetting the accusing party's accusations.
He got pulled over fapping on main street and was not a problem again.
/we were going to super glue his pecker to a fire hydrant/ duct tape him in his car/ cover the car with bees/ let loose a bunch of bees in the car with im duct taped up and covered with honey, but let it slide so we could drink beer and see what happened.
Pretty boring what happened, but less boring than being busted for super glueing his pecker to a fire hydrant/ duct tape him in his car/ cover the car with bees/ let loose a bunch of bees in the car with im duct taped up and covered with honey, or watching him fark some co-ed or frat boy in the bugger hole, so it's all good.
 
2008-02-22 09:25:10 PM  
sexy-fetus: I haven't seen the weener tag in ages

Main page used to thrive with boobies and weeners for all
 
2008-02-22 09:26:56 PM  
Deez Nutz: Brilliant use of the Weeners tag, subbyKiribub: hitchking: Oh man, did I laugh at that headline.

Seconded. Maybe they'll rename the school to "Knotty Pine Elementary: We Warp Young Minds"

Thirdeded. Brilliant use of the Weeners tag, subby.


Fourthed(ed). Awesome.
 
2008-02-22 09:27:58 PM  
Richard Pye: Zulgaines: I guess I missed the seminar on the dong tag.

You didn't get the memo about that?


It had the wrong cover sheet.
 
2008-02-22 09:28:15 PM  
Just here to congratulate subby.
 
2008-02-22 09:29:04 PM  
The bus driver called 911 and updated police on the situation as both vehicles drove into downtown Joliet....

911 operator: "what's he doing now?"
driver: "he's still fapping!"
911 operator: "does he have a big one?"
driver: "wtf??"
 
2008-02-22 09:29:37 PM  
To top it off was he watching a DVD of Crash?
 
2008-02-22 09:32:11 PM  
Back when I was in 4th grade my whole grade took a field trip somewhere. All the boys got on one bus and all the girls on the other bus. Coming home in the afternoon, a convertible with two guys and two girls (all about college-age) pulled up alongside us. They must have been coming from the beach, because they were all in bikinis and bathing suits.

One of the girls noticed us, and for some reason she decided to flash us, at which point every one of us on that side of the bus went crazy. Within seconds every boy on the bus was on that side, noses pressed to the windows. The other girl then flashed us, and the first girl flashed us again. The teachers on board yelled at us, and the bus driver had to pull over until we settled down.

Later that day, I overheard the teachers on our bus tell the other teachers what happened. They all laughed about it, and one of them said something along the lines of "lucky kids".

Best field trip ever.
 
2008-02-22 09:32:40 PM  
There's a school here in Virginia called Spotswood Elementary. That would have been more appropriate since wood is what they spotted.
 
2008-02-22 09:32:40 PM  
i251.photobucket.com
 
2008-02-22 09:33:14 PM  
Hmmph... It's illegal to masturbate and drive?

Glad I read this article now instead of later.
 
2008-02-22 09:35:21 PM  
Hope he enjoys being a registered sex offender for the rest of his life.
 
2008-02-22 09:35:34 PM  
In all fairness, this happened in Joliet. There's a lot of freaky stuff going on in that town that I want no part of.
 
2008-02-22 09:35:56 PM  
Telephone Sanitizer Second Class: The wheels on the bus go fap fap fap ...

*golf clap*

I LMAO'd
 
2008-02-22 09:36:26 PM  
"Hey there paper boy. I got some change in my pocket for ya. You come right over here and get it out."
 
2008-02-22 09:36:54 PM  
xBIGxEASYx Hmmph... It's illegal to masturbate and drive?
Glad I read this article now instead of later.


Seconded, but not going to stop me
 
2008-02-22 09:37:37 PM  
k_46r_a: Richard Pye: Zulgaines: I guess I missed the seminar on the dong tag.

You didn't get the memo about that?

It had the wrong cover sheet.


*scoff* Animals.
 
2008-02-22 09:38:06 PM  
In Enid OK at the Enid State School ( Home for retards) this one waterhead stands out by the street next to a tree every morning and flaps at the cars as they drive by the fence in front of the place. year round.
 
2008-02-22 09:38:14 PM  
Maybe he was tired...

It's a great way to stay awake, so long as you don't ahem, finish.
 
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