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(Reuters)   Schoolgirl invents bed that tosses you on the floor if you don't wake up   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
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141 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Oct 2002 at 1:43 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

53 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-10-30 01:50:53 PM  
Didn't Pee Wee Herman have one of these beds?
2002-10-30 01:50:58 PM  
This has lawsuit written all over it for all the sue-happy people.
On a side-note, I've pondered timed electrocution for those lazy mornings.
2002-10-30 01:51:34 PM  
I'd hit it

When she fell out of bed
2002-10-30 01:53:04 PM  
I'd heard it was Iris Koser, not Iris Klose
2002-10-30 01:58:22 PM  
Okay, I'll use a German bed, but NOT the German shower.
2002-10-30 01:58:39 PM  
This is something that rules and sucks at the same time.
Very complicated.
2002-10-30 01:59:13 PM  
I noticed this link to the right: CORRECTED-Bed forces sleepyheads to get up

What needed correcting? Bed forces sleepyheads to get it up?
2002-10-30 01:59:20 PM  
All right, a 16-year-old German schoolgirl with a "merciless" bed!

Where do I sign up?
2002-10-30 02:01:28 PM  
I hate being tossed on the floor. I prefer to be in a chair, preferably with a girl doing the tossing, not a bed. geez. Is this for people with limp wrists?
2002-10-30 02:01:48 PM  
Hey! I can click the link and find the correction! me=dum
2002-10-30 02:02:03 PM  
As long as you don´t forget to turn the alarm off on saturdays and sundays, it rules.

We're almost the Jetsons, now all we need is junk food dispensers and combination floating car/briefcase
2002-10-30 02:02:12 PM  
Call now, and make sure to ask about our free TV offer.
2002-10-30 02:07:35 PM  
I find that a clock radio set to a REALLY annoying commercial station works wonders to get me up. If that ever fails, two cats loudly whining to be fed and trying to destroy everything within 2' of the floor also helps...
2002-10-30 02:08:47 PM  
Schoolgirls - I'd hit them too.
2002-10-30 02:08:47 PM  
I'm looking for a school girl that tosses salads.
2002-10-30 02:09:42 PM  
In Germany, they have vays of making you vake up!!
2002-10-30 02:10:39 PM  
Nope, sorry! That wouldn't work. I'd just go back to sleep on the floor. Try again!
2002-10-30 02:10:39 PM  
I'd rather have a bed that throws schoolgirls on me...
2002-10-30 02:10:39 PM  
Sweet, copyright infringement:
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-30 02:17:01 PM  
I can just as easily sleep on the floor.

Attention! I heard there are UCB (upright citizens brigade) VCD images somewhere for download. I need a link! I'm jonesing hard. Face it, Comedy Central will never release them.
2002-10-30 02:17:04 PM  
I have done this for years, when the schoolgirls won't wake up, I just toss them out of bed.

/buys ticket to hell
2002-10-30 02:17:14 PM  
that would be a pretty neat bed, but I am sure that I will be able to devise a way to strap myself firmly into bed using my comforters and a well placed limb. And also I don't think I have enough headroom in my bed now to do something like that. I have 22 inches between the top of my mattress and the bottom of the bed above me. Same for the guy above me and the guy above him.
2002-10-30 02:17:53 PM  
I can see the product liability lawyers all over this like flies on shiat. What happens when you get hurt as a result of unceremoniously being tossed out of bed?

I'll just get up the old-fashioned way - alarm clock, TV turning on, cats finding things to play with that make noise, etc. Now with daylight savings time over I'm finding it much easier to get out of bed in the a.m. although this morning was kinda rough due to partying the night before...
2002-10-30 02:17:56 PM  
I'm looking for a bed that prevents girls from tossing me from off top of them.
2002-10-30 02:19:57 PM  
By the time she's in college, she'll have invented the His-n-Hers version that gives an oh-so-subtle hint to person you brought home last night.
2002-10-30 02:21:12 PM  
This invention was cool in the 1800's when John Muir first thought of it.
2002-10-30 02:22:06 PM  
Hopefully you land face up. Morning wood is a common occurance. Ouch!
2002-10-30 02:24:45 PM  
She forgot the one key point missing from her invention: I'm waiting on the floor.
2002-10-30 02:24:55 PM  
This is the reason why I had to get a waveless waterbed.
2002-10-30 02:25:24 PM  
Bucket of Truth:

I don't know where the VCD images are but I have all the episodes from all 3 seasons in AVI files. If I find out where the VCD are I'll be sure to tell you.
2002-10-30 02:27:50 PM  
Kinda sucks if your girlfriend has to get up an hour before you.
2002-10-30 02:29:16 PM  

Cool to know that I'm not the only one who has heard about the 'early rising machine' from 1860.
2002-10-30 02:34:17 PM  
Drunken Sloth: Strap yourself into the bed. I'm on the floor, waitin for the gf. Make sure its her, not you.
2002-10-30 02:37:41 PM  
One word: Lawsuit.
2002-10-30 02:37:43 PM  
16 year old german school girl. Merciless bed. Happy thoughts for the next hour and a half :-)
2002-10-30 02:42:19 PM  
Damn, someone beat me to the John Muir reference.
2002-10-30 02:57:51 PM  
I'm looking for a bed that prevents girls from tossing me from off top of them.

You're supposed to teach them to lock their ankles behind your butt. You know what they say about the horse that throws you... just get up and get back on.
2002-10-30 02:57:55 PM  
oh come on, Wallace and Gromit did this like ten years ago. (and that bed vaulted you right into the kitchen where breakfast was waiting)

She's gonna get sued, I hear Wallace can be really vicious...
2002-10-30 03:14:05 PM  
But toss you out of bed in five minutes by raising one side a centimetre a minute? I'm a little more lumpy than that.
2002-10-30 03:18:30 PM  
I'm gonna get grandma one of these for christmas!
2002-10-30 03:20:49 PM  
I could sleep right through that. It raises itself too slow...

I want someone that will SLAM me out of bed onto the floor...preferably with a bounce.
2002-10-30 03:21:01 PM  
And if you go to bed drunk, it automatically rips your panties off.
2002-10-30 03:40:28 PM  
In America, bed wakes you!

2002-10-30 04:04:52 PM  
"Invented" my ass. I could have sworn I read about this in an old RPG called Paranoia several years back.

[image from too old to be available]

Of course, they also had beds that used high-pressure water hoses, air horns, and electric shocks to wake unwary Troubleshooters.

Don't forget to fill out your Pre-emptive Excuse/Alibi Declaration Form!
2002-10-30 04:38:45 PM  
This would be bad for me... I have a loft bed, and falling from 6 feet up might hurt a little.
2002-10-30 05:16:15 PM  
Wicked Wanda: "You're supposed to teach them to lock their ankles behind your butt."

Or you can reach underneath, stick a thumb in her butt, and hold on for dear life. (don't do this with cold hands.)
2002-10-30 05:21:19 PM  
I think John Muir invented one of these things over a hundred years back. Its nothing that creative, I'm sure there are expired patents that cover the idea.
2002-10-30 06:11:18 PM  
*sigh* One of these days, I'll find some girl that won't mind waking me up in the morning by kicking me out of bed and laughing as I plop down onto the floor, her endearing chuckles making my annoyance dissipate and making my mischievous side awaken with vigor...

If I'm gonna be kicked out of bed, that would be the only way I could accept it.
And I wouldn't really mind at all.
Unless I ended up getting injured. Then I'd mind a bit.
2002-10-30 06:45:26 PM  
Dean Martin had such a bed in his old MATT HELM movies, except it carried him into the other rooom and dropped him into the swimming pool.
2002-10-30 08:20:31 PM  
I suppose this is better than being awoken by Daddy's Meat Missile!!!
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