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(Metro)   Average man proposes two years, 11 months and eight days after meeting the woman who will ruin his life   (metro.co.uk ) divider line 273
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14835 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Feb 2008 at 9:13 PM (7 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-02-17 10:25:14 PM  
I can count on one hand the people I know that are in happy marriages. I swear, all I hear is everyone I know biatch about being married.
 
2008-02-17 10:26:06 PM  
lh5.google.com
 
2008-02-17 10:26:06 PM  
Miss Cellania: Yeah_Right

Whadidya do... off him right after the wedding?

Ha! Not quite, we made it 9.5 years. Another few months and I would've been eligible for SS benefits. One little drawback to waiting so long to tie the knot.


Oh. OHHHHH. snap. Shiat. I'm sorry.
 
2008-02-17 10:29:37 PM  
fanbladesaresharp - 300 million people in this country, a few less in neighboring countries and you're holding out for your best friend's ex? Slacker. Go get your own pie.

Unfortunately, I live in the south, where 37 means I'm practically ancient in terms of getting married... a sizable portion of the people here get married before they even finish college. Few wait much past it.

...and in an engineering town where men seem to significantly outnumber the women, so most of the quality women (at least of an appropriate age) seem to have already been taken.

Moroever, thanks to rampant lily-pad-ing, it's tough to even find a single girl at any age.

While I was obviously (mostly) joking about wanting a crack at friend's wives, sadly it seems I'm pretty much consigned to pining for women who are already involved.

It's so bad here, I've been giving considerable thought to moving.

Though, I did have a dream earlier this week that a friend hook his wife and I up... but in the dream, they weren't married, just dating, and they had "realized they wanted different things in life" and he tought she and I would be a good match.

...and zombies were involved in the dream somehow.
 
2008-02-17 10:30:32 PM  
MIguy: I can count on one hand the people I know that are in happy marriages. I swear, all I hear is everyone I know biatch about being married.

Not every marriage is happy (or unhappy) all of the time. Marriage is not static, it's dynamic. Circumstances change, people change, kids grow up, financial situations shift, etc. Chances are if you ask all your married friends if they are happy today and record their answers, five years from now you'll get at least a few radically different answers.

It's not a fixed point; it's a continuum.
 
2008-02-17 10:32:08 PM  
MIguy I can count on one hand the people I know that are in happy marriages. I swear, all I hear is everyone I know biatch about being married.

It can be summed up in two words: unrealistic expectations.
 
2008-02-17 10:32:28 PM  
bearcats1983: I don't think guys these days are against the "ceremony" of marriage, it's that the 'modern woman' has made him so jaded against the whole thing. I don't expect a meal on the table when I get home from work or my pipe and paper to be ready for me, however I do want to know that when I get home after a long ass day I won't be nagged to death about some minute thing until I want to hang myself. The modern and independent woman thing is bullshiat...

No, what you are saying is bullshiat.

I typically have dinner on the table. That is, if I am not doing work at Planned Parenthood or something like that to attend. He got me a KitchenAid Mixer for Christmas - I bake with it all the time. And yes, I get his pipe ready for him. And it's not the tobacco one.
 
2008-02-17 10:32:39 PM  
5.5 years with my boyfriend and the state won't let us get married. Thank god for biggots!
 
2008-02-17 10:33:42 PM  
Ceqir2008-02-17 10:01:20 PM


For having such a deep and meaningful Internet handle, you sure come across as a shallow cynical bastard. Someone eat your heart and shiat it out?

Yes, although to be perfectly fair, I cheated first. In the end, she did worse, but on the bright side I got revenge.
Has it made me bitter? Somewhat. But I have always been fairly independent, and it is unlikely I would end up with someone long term anyway, because I enjoy traveling around, being alone, lots of changes, etc. Also, it is difficult for me to find women who are on my same level intellectually and who I want to fark. That was a big sticking point with my ex, she just wasn't very bright, no matter how well she screwed.
My solution is to focus on myself, get my intellectual satisfaction from work and reading, and get my sexual satisfaction by nailing as many hot young women as possible, often when I'm traveling in Latin America. So far it seems to be working out well for me.
 
2008-02-17 10:34:44 PM  
december:

Life contains enough small and large misery as it is ... why be in a relationship which makes you unhappy?


That's what hobbies are for. Fill the gaps between the good and bad, or just the bad.
 
2008-02-17 10:34:53 PM  
sparticle:
Not every marriage is happy (or unhappy) all of the time. Marriage is not static, it's dynamic. Circumstances change, people change, kids grow up, financial situations shift, etc. Chances are if you ask all your married friends if they are happy today and record their answers, five years from now you'll get at least a few radically different answers.

It's not a fixed point; it's a continuum.


My mother told me, "Marriage is like jumping off a cliff together." I said, "Well, that's nice mom, but I don't jump off cliffs."
 
2008-02-17 10:35:03 PM  
Anyone hear Penn Gillete's interview on Stern a week or two ago? Was a great story. He said that he'd always felt that unless he found someone who he thought was perfect for him, he was fine never getting married.

Even shared how one of the last things his mother told him before she died was that if he didn't lower his standards, he'd end up alone.

He refused to lower his standards, and low and behold found the woman of his dreams, who he thought was perfect, married her, and now they have 2 kids.

/that's how you do it
 
2008-02-17 10:35:21 PM  
FarksResidentFeminist I get his pipe ready for him. And it's not the tobacco one.

Tobacco pie, Lucy..???
 
2008-02-17 10:36:20 PM  
FarksResidentFeminist: bearcats1983: I don't think guys these days are against the "ceremony" of marriage, it's that the 'modern woman' has made him so jaded against the whole thing. I don't expect a meal on the table when I get home from work or my pipe and paper to be ready for me, however I do want to know that when I get home after a long ass day I won't be nagged to death about some minute thing until I want to hang myself. The modern and independent woman thing is bullshiat...

No, what you are saying is bullshiat.

I typically have dinner on the table. That is, if I am not doing work at Planned Parenthood or something like that to attend. He got me a KitchenAid Mixer for Christmas - I bake with it all the time. And yes, I get his pipe ready for him. And it's not the tobacco one.


Oh, and let me say.. we aren't married. There's no need for us to get married. We don't have sprogs (just a cat), and I sure as hell ain't ready, and neither is he.
 
2008-02-17 10:36:38 PM  
DulceEtDecorumEst: My solution is to focus on myself, get my intellectual satisfaction from work and reading, and get my sexual satisfaction by nailing as many hot young women as possible, often when I'm traveling in Latin America. So far it seems to be working out well for me.

I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter and/or e-zine.
 
2008-02-17 10:38:35 PM  
MrSteve007

That is awesome.
 
2008-02-17 10:38:53 PM  
Sparticle It's not a fixed point; it's a continuum.

true. There are sometimes bad times, but as long as the good times outway them, everything should be fine.

Last year i married a guy i fell in love with in 9th grade. He didn't know i existed for the first two years, and we were dating other people for the next 8 years. finally when we were 24 we got together, and we haven't looked back. It did take about 2 years for him to be sure...about 10 years behind me. :)

slow learner? cautious? who knows. but i couldn't be happier and i let him know every day. (actions, not just words.) i think that's the most important part of a marriage. Show them every day how much you appreciate it.
 
2008-02-17 10:39:24 PM  
itsdan - Even shared how one of the last things his mother told him before she died was that if he didn't lower his standards, he'd end up alone.

He refused to lower his standards, and low and behold found the woman of his dreams, who he thought was perfect, married her, and now they have 2 kids.

/that's how you do it


Indeed... as much as it sometimes sucks, and I miss not having someone, I could never just settle for SOMEone. It's gotta be right.

I'd rather be alone than sucking it up with someone I'm not really into. That just makes me miserable.
 
2008-02-17 10:39:34 PM  
technicolor-misfit: fanbladesaresharp--

Unfortunately, I live in the south, where 37 means I'm practically ancient in terms of getting married... a sizable portion of the people here get married before they even finish college. Few wait much past it.


It's not impossible. And I'm the same age. Just got re-married down here a year and a half ago. Although an Iowa girl, not a suthern' Belle. Crap, I passed over states of people on my way here to be together. Not even my ex could inspire me to make such a leap like the new gal does.

Oh and I'll say it first! Cougar!!!!!! ROAWR!
 
2008-02-17 10:40:35 PM  
MrSteve007: Just to toot my own horn, here's how I proposed to my wife (pops).

This isn't anything personal, but, I detest your type. DIAF.
 
2008-02-17 10:42:28 PM  
Looks like I'll be ahead of the curve by the time my friends get around to their eventual divorces.
 
2008-02-17 10:43:02 PM  
img169.imageshack.us
 
2008-02-17 10:44:43 PM  
dangelder: MrSteve007: Just to toot my own horn, here's how I proposed to my wife (pops).

This isn't anything personal, but, I detest your type. DIAF.


Thats cool. Although I'd like to know what is at the root of your hatred towards 'my type.'
 
2008-02-17 10:46:18 PM  
MrSteve007: dangelder: MrSteve007: Just to toot my own horn, here's how I proposed to my wife (pops).

This isn't anything personal, but, I detest your type. DIAF.

Thats cool. Although I'd like to know what is at the root of your hatred towards 'my type.'


I'm thinking it's the type of men that have sex with women.
 
2008-02-17 10:46:40 PM  
MrSteve007: Thats cool. Although I'd like to know what is at the root of your hatred towards 'my type.'

You're furthering a culture of unrealistic expectation. Still not as bad as 'I wrote my wife a song on the lute' guy though...
 
2008-02-17 10:54:46 PM  
MrSteve007: dangelder: MrSteve007: Just to toot my own horn, here's how I proposed to my wife (pops).

This isn't anything personal, but, I detest your type. DIAF.

Thats cool. Although I'd like to know what is at the root of your hatred towards 'my type.'


Because the manner in which you act, and the words that you say, suggest that you hold an outlook which is shudderingly annoying. But like I said, it's not personal, so keep it up if it works for you.
 
2008-02-17 10:56:50 PM  
At about 1 month she's already ruined it. It just takes marriage before it really sinks in.
 
2008-02-17 10:57:18 PM  
worlddan: sparticle:
Not every marriage is happy (or unhappy) all of the time. Marriage is not static, it's dynamic. Circumstances change, people change, kids grow up, financial situations shift, etc. Chances are if you ask all your married friends if they are happy today and record their answers, five years from now you'll get at least a few radically different answers.

It's not a fixed point; it's a continuum.

My mother told me, "Marriage is like jumping off a cliff together." I said, "Well, that's nice mom, but I don't jump off cliffs."


I've never understood the whole 'taking the plunge' thing. When I got married it was like okay now I can finally talk to people on your behalf without them saying I can't talk to you because "I'm his girlfriend" for some reason doesn't have enough authority behind it. That was the only thing that changed in our marriage. Everything else stayed the same.

We were best friends before we got married, and we are still best friends. Meh I don't know is there some secret club you are supposed to join, or is something life altering supposed to happen when you get married cause I've never experienced it.

Oh yeah guys a tip for you... if she is not willing to for go the 'big wedding' and just to a little court house ceremony if you insist... she's not into you, and your wedding will most likely fail. I mean of course you can have the big wedding but if you insist and she's like hell no or the wedding will be off... then I say that is the time to let her go. Seriously.

/Court house wedding... only people there were his parents, and it was still the happiest day of my life.
 
2008-02-17 10:57:39 PM  
cowsspinach
Im at an age where almost everyone my age is getting married and having kids.
Havent heard of anyone getting a divorce yet...Im sure in 5 years I will hear "Im getting divorced" instead of "Im getting married!"


I watched a number of my friends have three year marriages (including my sister). It always worked out to:
A year of marriage
A year of fighting
A year of divorce
 
2008-02-17 10:57:54 PM  
So...they propose before they even hit puberty?
 
2008-02-17 10:58:59 PM  
Daddakamabb: worlddan: sparticle:
Not every marriage is happy (or unhappy) all of the time. Marriage is not static, it's dynamic. Circumstances change, people change, kids grow up, financial situations shift, etc. Chances are if you ask all your married friends if they are happy today and record their answers, five years from now you'll get at least a few radically different answers.

It's not a fixed point; it's a continuum.

My mother told me, "Marriage is like jumping off a cliff together." I said, "Well, that's nice mom, but I don't jump off cliffs."

I've never understood the whole 'taking the plunge' thing. When I got married it was like okay now I can finally talk to people on your behalf without them saying I can't talk to you because "I'm his girlfriend" for some reason doesn't have enough authority behind it. That was the only thing that changed in our marriage. Everything else stayed the same.

We were best friends before we got married, and we are still best friends. Meh I don't know is there some secret club you are supposed to join, or is something life altering supposed to happen when you get married cause I've never experienced it.

Oh yeah guys a tip for you... if she is not willing to for go the 'big wedding' and just to a little court house ceremony if you insist... she's not into you, and your wedding marriage will most likely fail. I mean of course you can have the big wedding but if you insist and she's like hell no or the wedding will be off... then I say that is the time to let her go. Seriously.

/Court house wedding... only people there were his parents, and it was still the happiest day of my life.


FTFM
 
2008-02-17 11:01:31 PM  
DulceEtDecorumEst: Marriage is for stupid men who cave into their biatchy girlfriends. I have no sympathy for all the married farkers who complain about how they get no sex.
It really makes no sense at all to me.
Get some self confidence and realize that if you take care of yourself, and have a good job, you can just trade in for a younger better girlfriend when you get tired of your current one...
and...
-no messy divorce
-no losing your money
-no custody fights
-plenty of freedom to travel
-hot venezuelan and brazilian pussy


And you'll start your first record label at 29, get involved with some hot young 29-something, and end up marrying her mother after a series of heart attacks.
 
2008-02-17 11:02:53 PM  
flaming99: That's ok, us married people enjoy watching your antics - it's like real-life reality TV to us.

I am pretty sure it's because you have no lives anymore.
 
2008-02-17 11:04:21 PM  
I'm late 30's, 15-20 lbs. overweight, pasty white dork, and socially awkward in general.
I don't bother with cooking, laundry, shopping,etc...and get sex a few times per week with a woman who is definitely hotter than me.
Someone tell me again why I shouldn't have gotten married 12 yrs. ago?

(You studs that can pull the "brazillian puzzy" at will from week to week, more power to ya!)
 
2008-02-17 11:06:41 PM  
You have to be ready for marriage, and so does the other person. It has nothing to do with whether you're "right" for each other, or what your differences are, or any of that bullshiat.

You have to be ready. You have to be accepting, be patient, and know how to fight fair; how to forgive and forget.

Some people are like that when they're 15, some people are when they're 35, some people will never be ready. In this age of "gimme now", most are in the latter category, which explains the divorce rate.
 
2008-02-17 11:08:23 PM  
This thread is depressing.
If you want it, go get it. If you no longer want it, get a divorce.
Enough with complaining about your spouses and marriage. Anything you're complaining about is a result of your poor choices.

/going to pull the crazy stick out of my ass now...
 
2008-02-17 11:08:53 PM  
Shaggy_C: MrSteve007: Thats cool. Although I'd like to know what is at the root of your hatred towards 'my type.'

You're furthering a culture of unrealistic expectation. Still not as bad as 'I wrote my wife a song on the lute' guy though...


I went across the country and primed her at an art museum. Care to take some pot shots at me too? Or is that unrealistic? Oh hai honey, love the Monet, will You marry me?

/quietly and subtlely without any fanfare.
//actually we went to the museum first, then asked at home.
 
2008-02-17 11:09:41 PM  
Dream Sniper: cowsspinach
Im at an age where almost everyone my age is getting married and having kids.
Havent heard of anyone getting a divorce yet...Im sure in 5 years I will hear "Im getting divorced" instead of "Im getting married!"

I watched a number of my friends have three year marriages (including my sister). It always worked out to:
A year of marriage
A year of fighting
A year of divorce


Wow.. my sister totally skipped the first step. They just 'celebrated' their first anniversary this weekend which was like a major milestone neither of them thought they'd reach.

Maybe this year will be better...
 
2008-02-17 11:09:49 PM  
itsdan: l-to-tha-ind-say: /can't wait to spend the rest of my life with the most wonderful man in the world :0)

What I don't get is, don't you feel like that now? If you don't, what is some paperwork and a ceremony going to change?



of course i feel like that now...im thankful all the time for having met him and for him being as in love with me as i am with him...i can't really explain it, but there's just a different feeling about being/getting married...call me quixotic, but i can't wait to officially call him my husband

if he didn't want to get married, i'd still love him, but i'd have to wonder why he didn't want to get married, if it was a bitter previous divorce or something, that would be something i'd understand and we could work through, but i just don't see the problem with getting married...so many (jaded?) people villify it, claiming it's the woman's way of imprisoning the man...but it doesn't have to be, not if it's with the right person...it's one of the most wonderful things of all

the marriage ceremony is more than just paper and words...it's sharing with your family and friends your love for this person and celebrating those feelings

if the traditional wedding 'ceremony' was merely the two of us going off somewhere secluded and saying 'i do' or something i'd still want to do it...it's not about the money spent, the presents received, or the honeymoon afterwards, i just love him and it's something we both want to do
 
2008-02-17 11:12:04 PM  
Daddakamabb:
... if she is not willing to for go the 'big wedding' and just to a little court house ceremony if you insist... she's not into you, and your wedding will most likely fail. .

/Court house wedding... only people there were his parents, and it was still the happiest day of my life.


How do you "fail" a binding courthouse legal proceeding? It's not like they serve cake with an open bar at them. Saves time AND money if you're both OK with it. You can always have a party later.
 
2008-02-17 11:12:54 PM  
I will always be grateful I didn't get married when I was 19 as was planned. I'm even more grateful now that I've lived with two of my sisters (at differing times in their relationships with their boyfriends/husbands) and I've seen more than enough.

Marriage is a sham. If you can't live together but by some contract on paper then why do it? And if you can live together without that contract on paper, then why not?

/will never understand these things
//people cling to tradition like there's no tomorrow
 
2008-02-17 11:14:18 PM  
Two years from engagement to wedding? What takes so long? How long can a wedding take to prepare? And you know most women have it half planned out before they even meet the guy. I don't understand those long engagement people. Then again, I don't want a very big wedding and I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years so maybe I'm getting kind of antsy.

/high school sweethearts
//went to look at rings today
 
2008-02-17 11:14:24 PM  
Daddakamabb: I mean of course you can have the big wedding but if you insist and she's like hell no or the wedding will be off... then I say that is the time to let her go.

Just went through this. Her insistence on a big wedding was indeed the clear signal that she wasn't in it for the right reasons. There were many others, and I ignored them for far too long. Being single again is far more refreshing than I even imagined.
 
2008-02-17 11:14:35 PM  
Phosphorus: Hot Bride Thread?

images.amazon.com

/yeah I know, sharp knees, too fat, wouldn't hit, yada, yada yada
 
2008-02-17 11:14:57 PM  
Met Feb 5, 1976.
Proposed July 4, 1976.
Married July 9, 1977.
Anniversary #31 coming up.
 
2008-02-17 11:15:20 PM  
DrForrester: where do I find "hot venezuelan and brazilian pussy"?

Venezuala or Brazil, I would assume.
 
2008-02-17 11:18:18 PM  
Crap. So now I'm going to be 40 before I even get married...
 
2008-02-17 11:19:50 PM  
DrForrester: where do I find "hot venezuelan and brazilian pussy"?

Same place DulceEtDecorumEst does, in your dreams.
 
2008-02-17 11:21:33 PM  
fanbladesaresharp: Daddakamabb:
... if she is not willing to for go the 'big wedding' and just to a little court house ceremony if you insist... she's not into you, and your wedding will most likely fail. .

/Court house wedding... only people there were his parents, and it was still the happiest day of my life.

How do you "fail" a binding courthouse legal proceeding? It's not like they serve cake with an open bar at them. Saves time AND money if you're both OK with it. You can always have a party later.


Hi if you pay attention you will see that I corrected myself. Pay attention.
 
2008-02-17 11:23:11 PM  
PeeOnYou:Marriage is a sham. If you can't live together but by some contract on paper then why do it? And if you can live together without that contract on paper, then why not?
Health insurance?
j/k, I felt the same way years ago. If my wife had turned out to be a cold fish, I'd be right there with you. Lucked out (for now).
 
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