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(Google)   Farker hack4good's roommate had friends over last night, and they puked all over the room. Suggestions on how to get him back? Voting enabled   (fark.com) divider line 251
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157 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Oct 2002 at 12:04 PM (12 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



251 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2002-10-26 07:52:55 PM  
Buy them a bunch of sugar gliders.
 
2002-10-26 08:12:47 PM  
Kill his mom.
 
2002-10-26 08:15:43 PM  
Cock and ball torture.
 
2002-10-26 08:17:51 PM  
Chicken time bomb.

That is all.
 
2002-10-26 08:29:24 PM  
Is this in a dorm? Sneak a small piece of raw meat into their room and hide it behind a piece of furniture. In a day or so you'll be even on the smell scale.

Works faster near a radiator or heater, but not in one (it cooks then).

Only do this if there are no pets, otherwise that meat will be gone in seconds.
 
2002-10-26 08:32:31 PM  
Skunk 'im, then ape 'im. I suppose you could ape 'im first, but that's not quite the same.
 
2002-10-26 08:55:47 PM  
break the light in his bathroom, then crap on the toilet seat! nice suprise for the latenight dump.
 
2002-10-26 09:00:37 PM  
Put itching powder in his underwear drawer, and his bed.
 
2002-10-26 09:03:33 PM  
Use his favroite shirt to clean up the puke.
 
2002-10-26 09:04:34 PM  
I can't spell.
 
2002-10-26 09:06:01 PM  
carve his hart out with a spoon.
 
2002-10-26 09:07:42 PM  
get EX-lax, and use the only restroom right before he goes in. put supperglue on the seat, remove all things that could be used as toliot paper or means of escape (including all communication to the outside world). go to the movies (jackass:the movie)
 
2002-10-26 09:09:12 PM  
Sleep with his grilfreind.
 
2002-10-26 09:40:06 PM  
Donkey-punch him.
 
2002-10-26 10:06:04 PM  
Stab him in the face with a soldering iron.
 
2002-10-26 10:46:15 PM  
If you're really pissed, when he passes out, shave off his eyebrows. The gift that keeps on giving, every time he looks in the mirror....
 
2002-10-26 11:18:43 PM  
Release a bunch of crickets into their house(s). You could also stick a piece of meat somewhere in a vehicle that will be driven by one of the puking morons. Then the smell gets worse and worse until they puke some more.

I just noticed Atrial already suggested the meat thing. It's a good idea, though.
 
2002-10-26 11:19:04 PM  
Naw, shave off ONE eyebrow. Make him decide whether he wants to keep one or shave it off himself.
 
2002-10-27 08:15:15 AM  
Puke on his floor. What's good for the goose is good for the goose. Unless that goose is in a noose.
 
2002-10-27 11:40:36 AM  
Take the sheets off his bed, piss on his mattress, put the sheets back on.
It kind of works like the delayed smell/meat in the car thing.
 
2002-10-27 12:08:16 PM  
watch 'jackass' .. plenty of ideas
 
2002-10-27 12:09:10 PM  
48 hour "Swept Away" marathon showing.
 
2002-10-27 12:09:27 PM  
Simple:
shiat in the middle of his bed. Place comforter on top. Wait.

Or:
Clean up puke. Take dirty rags/mop/water/large chunkies and pour them into the trunk of his car. Wait.
 
OBB
2002-10-27 12:09:45 PM  
Take a can of shaving cream, put it inside a condom, tie it closed, and jam the top so the can stays open, and throw it into his bedroom. Guaranteed hilarity.
 
2002-10-27 12:10:17 PM  
scotchguard all of his towels then plug all drains and leave the water running full on.
 
2002-10-27 12:10:32 PM  
Peanut Butter in their Underwear
 
2002-10-27 12:11:09 PM  
Take the puke and mix it with egg nog, put it in their fridge...
 
OBB
2002-10-27 12:11:29 PM  
Alternately, you could fill a plastic bag with baby powder, stick the open end under his bedroom door, and drop a stack of textbooks on the unopened end from outside his door. The entire room will be covered with baby powder.
 
2002-10-27 12:11:32 PM  
First, I need the answer to the following question: does he own a shotgun and a butcher's apron?
 
2002-10-27 12:11:51 PM  
Napalm.
 
2002-10-27 12:11:56 PM  
I think what must be done is pretty obvious: find something that he cherishes, and destroy it.

Failing that, go to the mall or sex shop and have them print gay porno on his bed sheets, pillow cases, and all the clothes you can carry.
 
2002-10-27 12:11:59 PM  
Go to his house and drop a few dead fishes into places that are difficult to reach, like inside the walls.
 
2002-10-27 12:12:15 PM  
Sh*t in a paper bag and set it on the guy's doorstep. Light it on fire, knock on the door, and wait for him to open it. When he opens the door, he'll see the flaming bag and try to stomp it out with his foot. But before he gets the chance to do that, grab the bag and start slapping him across the face with it.
 
2002-10-27 12:12:35 PM  
--I say we kill him!
Yeahhhh!
--I say we hang him then we kill him!
Yeahhhh!
--I say we stomp him!
Yehh!
--Then we Tattoo him!
Yeah!
--Then we hang him!
Yeah!
--And then we kill him!
Yeahhhh!
--I say we let him go!
Noooooooo!
 
OBB
2002-10-27 12:12:41 PM  
Or, since you're at Queen's, convince him to visit Wally's because it's cheap drink night. Ditch him immediately.
 
2002-10-27 12:12:46 PM  
Shove an umbrella up his ass and open it!
 
OBB
2002-10-27 12:13:52 PM  
Wait until he falls asleep, and strew all his clothes around City Park. If the cold doesn't get him, the perverts will.
 
OBB
2002-10-27 12:14:48 PM  
Host a Kingston Fark party on his bed.... we'll all mess the place up.
 
2002-10-27 12:15:25 PM  
were his friends cats with hairballs?
 
2002-10-27 12:15:56 PM  
Go into his room about 4 hours after he goes to sleep, then very, very quietly, cover his eyes (and eyebrows) in duct tape. Then pull down his pants, and cover his CROTCH in duct tape. Then yank one of the pieces off his crotch.
 
2002-10-27 12:16:07 PM  
Shove an umbrella up his ass and open it!

Or, wait till he's asleep, find a hamster and shove it up his ass, hilarity will ensue!
 
2002-10-27 12:16:52 PM  
1) Plant terrorist manuals and leaflets in their room. Be sure to put trace amounts of plastc explosives on the paper.

2) Call the FBI.

3) Wait.
 
OBB
2002-10-27 12:17:15 PM  
Wait - room-mate... means you share a room. hehe, my stuff would fark up both your living-spaces.

You could always do what I did with my room-mate first year, and have an incriminating ICQ conversatiopn with him, then post it in the hall for all to laugh at. For instance, my room-mate threatened to inject me with HIV, and everyone on the floor knew it!
 
2002-10-27 12:17:18 PM  
SNIPE HIM!!!
WORD IS BOND!
 
2002-10-27 12:17:19 PM  
go to his room, fill a garbage can with water, and tilt it against the door.
 
2002-10-27 12:17:59 PM  
OBB: That reminds me of the scene from Drop Dead Fred when Fred messes up the house with dog poo on his feet.
 
2002-10-27 12:18:20 PM  
Shoot him in the face with a shotgun.
 
2002-10-27 12:18:48 PM  
Buy a box of powdered donuts
put as many donuts on your Dick as you can
take a polaroid
after flipping out on your "friends" invite them to eat donuts, make sure you leave the polaroid in the box under the donuts.

this time they'll vomit with ENTHUSIASM
 
2002-10-27 12:18:52 PM  
Deer pee from the hunting store down the air vent of his car.
 
2002-10-27 12:19:02 PM  
Phone Ashcroft. Report his terrorist ties. Wait for fun FBI antics with hidden camera.
 
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