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(Fox News)   Bin Laden's will found?   ( divider line
    More: Interesting  
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98 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Oct 2002 at 5:57 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

57 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-10-26 07:31:30 PM  
No way this is the earliest comment...
2002-10-26 07:32:21 PM  
What? No death certificate?
2002-10-26 07:33:49 PM  
i bet he died when a rouge bomb blew up his diayalisis (sp)machine
2002-10-26 07:33:58 PM  
Who cares anymore?
2002-10-26 07:34:31 PM  
WTF? How is this even remotely "proof" that he is dead? Goddammed Faux.
2002-10-26 07:35:16 PM  
He died from a maroon-colored bomb, Kennyc?

Or do you mean "rogue" bomb?
2002-10-26 07:35:48 PM  
Did anyone read the article on CNN? The will's calling for arabs to shun Al-Qaeda and for the holy war to take a rest? Rrrright. There's no way in hell that's his will. Quite an enterprising propagandist out there who's thinking "it's so crazy it just might work."
2002-10-26 07:37:37 PM  
yea thats right a marron coloured bomb....... oh god what have i done
2002-10-26 07:38:22 PM  
Yeah, I'm having a hard time with the "we we're a bunch of pussies" part. Not something you say when you want to stir the loyal into a mode of war.
2002-10-26 07:38:26 PM  
marron? ah cwap i cant speel at al toddy
2002-10-26 07:38:55 PM  
A rouge bomb was the next logical extension from Homer Simpson's makeup gun.

Marge: "I think you have it set on whore!"
2002-10-26 07:38:58 PM  
Andwarf: fark has been dead for about 1.5 hours. Some 133+ d0oD must've been pissed his article wasn't posted.
2002-10-26 07:39:20 PM  
we're = were

damn beer
2002-10-26 07:40:13 PM  
thanks for that DoctorCal that was a good episode, i think i might have ruined this whole thread before it even took off
2002-10-26 07:42:56 PM  
Other demands in the will.
Al-Qaeda, Islamic Jihad, and Hamas not only allow, but encourage the US to invade Iraq to topple its secular dictator.
Arabs are to embrace ascetic living and thus, give away all their oil for free.
They should eat at McDonalds; it is truly the will of Allah.
2002-10-26 07:43:29 PM  
Said it before...and I'll say it again. Even if he IS dead, the powers that be will keep it secret.

If he died at the hands of his enemy, he's a martyr and that's the last thing the Gov needs.

Now, if he's still at large, it's easier to get funding for black ops and covert activities.

I can see it now, "the will" is a sting operation to get the rest of the Al Quaeda.
2002-10-26 07:46:12 PM  
Him advising they back off of the nastiness isn't THAT hard to believe. IF this is real, he wrote it while the righteous wrath of America was pounding his mountain into dust. This might have tipped him off to the fact that pissing off the US is not a good way of staying alive. The holy war would hardly be a success if all it does is convince us to turn the entire mid-east into glass. (which, regardless on your feelings on the matter, is exactly what the current administration would do)
2002-10-26 07:49:28 PM  
Him dead then who big jujumon now.
2002-10-26 07:50:27 PM  
"We saw the cowardly crusaders and the lowly Jews hold fast while fighting us, while soldiers of our nation raised the white flag and surrendered to their enemies," bin Laden wrote.

Awww...Poor liddle Bin-Laden wasnt too happy! Quick, someone get him a bottle!
2002-10-26 07:52:46 PM  
holy war would hardly be a success if all it does is convince us to turn the entire mid-east into glass. (which, regardless on your feelings on the matter, is exactly what the current administration would do)

Not unless they can figure out how to get to all of that oil through the sheet of radioactive glass.

2002-10-26 08:12:19 PM  
A purported "last will" written by Usama bin Laden -- in which he complains of betrayal by his terror gang in Afghanistan -- may be a sign the world's most wanted man is dead.

hahahhahahahaha yup Bin Laden is dead time to kill Saddam... man the propaganda coming out of your country these days is priceless.
2002-10-26 08:12:35 PM  
10-26-02 07:43:29 PM DarkJohnson
Said it before...and I'll say it again. Even if he IS dead, the powers that be will keep it secret.

If he died at the hands of his enemy, he's a martyr and that's the last thing the Gov needs.

Now, if he's still at large, it's easier to get funding for black ops and covert activities.

Au contraire, mein freund. The powers that be who will keep it a secret are Islamic fundies, NOT the U.S. government. I predict numerous Bin Laden "sightings" a la Elvis, 2 AM at the 7-11 or Circle K, for the next 20, 30 years or more. The fundies have a need to keep the dream alive: the David who dared to stick it to a corpulent American Goliath -- and the U.S. never, ever caught him. They will never admit that we smacked him flat like a mosquito.

If the U.S. really did have confirmation of his death, the administration would be sure to get film footage of his head being carried around on a stick by the Northern Alliance. Bush has an upcoming election to think of, after all. Can you think of better P.R. for a sitting prez?
2002-10-26 08:17:22 PM  
What country are you speaking of?
2002-10-26 08:24:37 PM  
DrToast: Iceland
2002-10-26 08:25:52 PM  
WTF does bin Laden have to will away?
2002-10-26 08:27:26 PM  
That's so cool, It helps me forget that Democrats are bribing the ret*rded with cookies and quarters to vote.

Quarter for your vote?
2002-10-26 08:27:40 PM  
I Osama Bin Laden

Being of sound mind......(!!!)

At one point in the document he apolgizes to his children for not being there for the more formative moments in their lives - what with the campaign against the Crusaders and Jews and all...

Who witnessed the document? Mullah Omar and the Spiders from Mars?
2002-10-26 08:29:28 PM  
Elevation - You have to register to see the article, and its a WSJ opinion piece. Find a news story.
2002-10-26 08:32:11 PM  
Heh, seems not alot of people here either 1) read the article or 2) Comprehend the article

1) he does not say for a stop to the holy war or Al Q. He advises his kids not to get involved in it (who wants the sons and daughters getting killed for ideals...hell, you think the parents of rich kids let there kids goto war?) he is just being daddy there.

2) He is pissed and insulting the actions of the muslims...that would make one become more rallied (I am a great muslim fighter and I will prove it!)

3) This came from Afganistan to other mid-eastern nations...and reported in London. everyone buys it...except, for now, the US...we are not sure what to think.

so...basically, another example of way too many farkers with the toya syndrome
(talking out your arse)

so, yay for you (you know whom you are), you are certified retards.
2002-10-26 08:33:16 PM  
It references a news story:(I forget I had registered at that site)
Why is a clean state suddenly beset by dirty elections?

Saturday, October 26, 2002 12:01 a.m. EDT

The progressive citizens of Wisconsin have reason to worry that Chicago-style vote-buying is creeping north from Illinois. The NBC affiliate in Milwaukee has just filmed Democratic campaign workers handing out small amounts of money and free food to residents at a home for the mentally ill in Kenosha after which the patients were shepherded into a separate room and given absentee ballots. One of the Democratic Party workers fled when she saw the NBC camera. The local district attorney is investigating.

Traditionally a clean government state, Wisconsin is now paying for its loose election laws. In 2000 its same-day voter-registration law was abused by Connie Milstein, a New York Democratic activist, who was caught on camera bribing the homeless with cigarettes to vote for Al Gore. She was later fined $5,000. (Several Wisconsin politicians were also recently charged with violating state campaign laws.)

Absentee ballots pose another difficulty. Along with the states listed nearby, Wisconsin allows anyone to obtain an absentee ballot for any reason. A flood of such requests is now overwhelming clerks in many states, with some being mishandled by the parties that forward them in bulk to election officials. "Voter beware," says Kevin Kennedy of Wisconsin's election board.
The mentally ill in Kenosha have a right to vote, but Wisconsin Common Cause director Jay Heck says the NBC footage showed Democratic workers engaged in "manipulative" behavior with a group that was "clearly developmentally disabled." The center ordered absentee ballots on behalf of all the residents and then allowed Democratic workers to run a bingo game there. The residents were induced to vote with free refreshments and quarters as bingo prizes.

Robert Jambois, the Kenosha County District Attorney, says the case is a headache for him because he has endorsed Jim Doyle, the Democratic candidate for governor, and because the Democratic worker who fled the scene was an intern in his own office. He will decide later if he needs to recuse himself. He's also candid enough to concede that it's a "good policy question" whether the laws against electioneering and intimidation at polling places are now being circumvented as more and more absentee ballots are circulated by party workers in nursing homes and other facilities.

There's little question that absentee-ballot abuses are growing. Austin Murphy, a former Democratic congressman from Pennsylvania, pleaded guilty in 1999 to improperly filling out the ballot of a nursing home resident. In Texas, prosecutors say "vote brokers" often accost seniors to "aid" them in filling out ballots.

Early ballots are also problematic, with 15 states permitting voters to cast their ballots as early as a month before Election Day. Two decades ago absentee and early ballots were only 5% of all votes cast. This year political parties pushing those ballots on voters may drive the total up to 30% of all votes cast in as many as 20 states.

Unless the laws are tightened and enforced, incidents such as the manipulation in Wisconsin will become more common and will undermine confidence in the outcome of more and more elections.

Registration required:
2002-10-26 08:35:39 PM  
I don't know if this is real, but I could believe it. A lot of people who terrorize others are actually cowards. Bin Laden could very likely say stuff like this while he was being bombed into oblivion.
2002-10-26 08:36:45 PM  
Ya, it should better read:
I, Osama Bin Laden, being of one loopy mind and a farked up body, sitting in a damn wet cave in bfe with a fragment of a daisy cutter sticking up my ass, hereby pass down one big pain in the ass to my kids...sorry bout having all my cash seized right at the end, but hey, if you break your legs or something you can be good beggers...anyhow, look on the bright side, least the western world is now paying attention to the middle east...I am sure my plan worked wonderful...if not, then blame it all on Uncle Omar...say he brainwashed me...or something...donno, good luck

Love Daddy O.
2002-10-26 08:40:09 PM  
Ya Bin Laden wrote his will in a cave with his laptop while hooked up to his dialysis machine.
2002-10-26 08:41:58 PM  
Osama, we hardly knew ya.
2002-10-26 08:44:21 PM  
You might want to read the article again.
2002-10-26 08:44:47 PM  
Osama who?
2002-10-26 08:47:56 PM  
Starlight_Phoenix,/b., that's easy: his goat.
2002-10-26 08:48:43 PM  
Goddamnit, I farked up.
2002-10-26 08:50:48 PM  

I read it I know where it originated from. What I meant is most of your major news sources seem to have it on their main pages. So in a way it is coming out of your country (US).

If you don't see the humour in the article well hehe oh well.
2002-10-26 09:00:56 PM  
so, do you think he's gonna be jelous of the poor sap who inherits his goat? I mean, he must have been pretty fond of that goat. Really, really fond.
2002-10-26 09:41:43 PM  
Not unless they can figure out how to get to all of that oil through the sheet of radioactive glass.

Use all the fatties and people detained unlawfully in the name of national security to work the land. duh!
2002-10-26 09:53:08 PM  
Oh yeah, I forgot... Human resources

2002-10-26 09:54:10 PM  
Those are the best kind of resources
2002-10-26 10:45:48 PM  
"...and to my goat I leave my Timex watch, season tickets to "The Producers" and my autographed photo of Sean Penn."
2002-10-26 10:56:33 PM  
Hoooray! We can end the War on Terror now.

Can have my civil rights back now?
2002-10-26 11:17:03 PM  
Actually it doesn't seem that farfetched to condemn a cause in one's will, especially if one feels he has been betrayed by it.

Rouge bomb? :-)
2002-10-26 11:39:55 PM  
Just wait 'til we whip out our super-secret mascara gun.
2002-10-27 12:07:57 AM  
Homer it's stuck on whore!

[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-27 12:51:31 AM  
Besides, if a bomb did exactly what it was dropped to accomplish, it's not really a rogue bomb...
2002-10-27 01:15:56 AM  
Dibs on his sleeping bag and mess-kit!
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