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(Guardian)   TUBE = "Totally Unnecessary Breast Exam"   ( guardian.co.uk) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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27952 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Feb 2008 at 9:08 PM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments     (+0 »)
 


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2008-02-03 08:42:07 PM  
No such thing. Ok maybe there are a couple of exceptions.

Personal fave: LGFD = Looks Good From the Door
 
2008-02-03 09:12:48 PM  
UFIA
 
2008-02-03 09:13:42 PM  
Yeah. I give those. Free. No waiting.

/shameless boobies troll.
 
2008-02-03 09:13:49 PM  
The internet is a plethora of B's.
 
2008-02-03 09:15:03 PM  
How could a breast exam ever be unnecessary?
 
2008-02-03 09:20:59 PM  
What's YOUR DBI?
 
2008-02-03 09:21:26 PM  
animalmagnet: How could a breast exam ever be unnecessary?

Yea, I mean that's why God invented them. Works of art are meant to be examined....and sqeezed and sucked and nibbled...
nom
 
2008-02-03 09:22:51 PM  
animalmagnet: How could a breast exam ever be unnecessary?

Oddly enough, there are apparently doctors who order a mammogram even when there's less than 1% chance, just to be sure. Though I really wouldn't be able to say if this is justifiable or paranoia.
 
2008-02-03 09:22:52 PM  
i guess it all depends on who is giving and who is receiving...
 
2008-02-03 09:25:16 PM  
some of these are getting kind of personal. TFTB is just mean.
 
2008-02-03 09:26:27 PM  
Fluid: animalmagnet: How could a breast exam ever be unnecessary?

Oddly enough, there are apparently doctors who order a mammogram even when there's less than 1% chance, just to be sure. Though I really wouldn't be able to say if this is justifiable or paranoia.


if you're worried about a lawsuit then it really isn't paranoid
 
2008-02-03 09:28:28 PM  
i get these all the time
 
2008-02-03 09:29:08 PM  
static.stickam.com
 
2008-02-03 09:29:32 PM  
So, is GLM British for MILF?
 
2008-02-03 09:29:47 PM  
Check out their feelings on second opinions. The only one that is annoyed with requests for second opinions is the g y n. And I am pretty sure from the answer to exercise that the g y n is an s h e.
 
2008-02-03 09:31:10 PM  
wyseyes: What's YOUR DBI?

Hmmm...0...however my SBI is a whopping 100.

SBI=Scumbag index 100-teeth missing-days without a bath+days without being a total biatch=

I think I added that correctly. I am horrible person. :P
 
2008-02-03 09:31:40 PM  
I am a freelance practitioner specializing in tactile mammograms. Line up ladies, keep 'em safe.
 
2008-02-03 09:34:03 PM  
Bucky Katt: some of these are getting kind of personal. TFTB is just mean.

If you have difficulty breathing, sometimes weighing as much as a small car can be a factor. People who refuse to lose weight, but come in with weight-related ailments looking for easy solutions, are basically depressing/infuriating. I can understand throwing such snarkiness out as a warning to other doctors reading the chart, as well as a way of blowing off steam and avoiding a blowup at Mrs. Orca who comes in complaining again that her oxygen tank isn't doing enough to help her gelatinous bulk attain mobility.
 
2008-02-03 09:34:12 PM  
Dr. Gynae? You know that when this story was originally conceived Dr. Gynae was known as Dr. Cnut.
 
2008-02-03 09:35:51 PM  
I'm a boobtube devotee.
 
2008-02-03 09:38:35 PM  
www.mccullagh.org
animalmagnet How could a breast exam ever be unnecessary?
 
2008-02-03 09:38:42 PM  
animalmagnet: How could a breast exam ever be unnecessary?

Agreed. I perform them all the time on my wife and I'm not even a doctor!!

FTA: In my first six months as a doctor, a young man on his honeymoon came in with a wedding ring trapped round the base of his penis.

WTF?!?
 
2008-02-03 09:38:57 PM  
Actually "GELF" is British for "MILF",

Boobies thread, excellent
 
2008-02-03 09:40:50 PM  
Drakkenmaw: Bucky Katt: some of these are getting kind of personal. TFTB is just mean.

If you have difficulty breathing, sometimes weighing as much as a small car can be a factor. People who refuse to lose weight, but come in with weight-related ailments looking for easy solutions, are basically depressing/infuriating. I can understand throwing such snarkiness out as a warning to other doctors reading the chart, as well as a way of blowing off steam and avoiding a blowup at Mrs. Orca who comes in complaining again that her oxygen tank isn't doing enough to help her gelatinous bulk attain mobility.


i resemble that remark
 
2008-02-03 09:41:30 PM  
animalmagnet: How could a breast exam ever be unnecessary?

www.makemeheal.com
How 'bout that?
 
2008-02-03 09:41:38 PM  
Bukharin's Lady Friend: i get these all the time

How you doin?
 
2008-02-03 09:42:38 PM  
Ah where I work we use FDD (fell down drunk). But not in writing!
 
2008-02-03 09:42:50 PM  
frostus: animalmagnet: How could a breast exam ever be unnecessary?

Agreed. I perform them all the time on my wife and I'm not even a doctor!!

FTA: In my first six months as a doctor, a young man on his honeymoon came in with a wedding ring trapped round the base of his penis.

WTF?!?


"cock ring" taken just a little too literally
 
2008-02-03 09:44:23 PM  
Note to self:
Find out what sites naparyaq is surfing and have them blocked from my computer.
 
Kat [TotalFark]
2008-02-03 09:45:10 PM  
Are patients not allowed to see their charts in england? These types of notes could get you fired/sued/jumped in a state-side hospital/clinic/doctor's office.
 
2008-02-03 09:46:44 PM  
Danger Avoid Death: Note to self:
Find out what sites naparyaq is surfing and have them blocked from my computer.


Yea. If it were possible, I would be chewing out my own eyeballs right now.
 
2008-02-03 09:51:30 PM  
Kat: Are patients not allowed to see their charts in england? These types of notes could get you fired/sued/jumped in a state-side hospital/clinic/doctor's office.

The average patient doesn't even blink at the charts.
 
2008-02-03 09:54:08 PM  
lightscameracaption.files.wordpress.com

DBI = two missing teeth x eight tats = WARSH YERSELF OFF, GYRL!
 
2008-02-03 09:54:15 PM  
Fluid: Kat: Are patients not allowed to see their charts in england? These types of notes could get you fired/sued/jumped in a state-side hospital/clinic/doctor's office.

The average patient doesn't even blink at the charts.


And if they did look, they probably couldn't read the writing anyway.
 
2008-02-03 09:56:25 PM  
I know that some doctors make notes. I was unwell and since my doctor was on holiday I visited a clinic. These notes were forewarded to my doctor. The note said "looks rough".
 
2008-02-03 09:56:32 PM  
TFA: "Dr Mind: In my first six months as a doctor, a young man on his honeymoon came in with a wedding ring trapped round the base of his penis. In the end we got the dentist to drill it off and we saved the penis."

No matter WHAT I manage to get stuck on it, a dentist's drill isn't getting anywhere near me.
 
2008-02-03 09:57:36 PM  
How small do you have to be in order to fit a wedding ring around your penis?
 
Kat [TotalFark]
2008-02-03 09:59:28 PM  
peachfish: Fluid: Kat: Are patients not allowed to see their charts in england? These types of notes could get you fired/sued/jumped in a state-side hospital/clinic/doctor's office.

The average patient doesn't even blink at the charts.

And if they did look, they probably couldn't read the writing anyway.


perhaps, until you leave something in a patient, or someone wasn't ready for grammy to die and launches an investigation.

then you're acronyms are going to bite you in the ass. You're better off charting "pt. states, 'i eat four thousand calories a day, smoke two packs, and only get off the sofa to take a shiat, please give me an inhaler, because i obviously have asthma and i'm not just morbidly obese."

or whatever exactly they said that made you decided that they are a TFTB PITA.
 
2008-02-03 10:00:02 PM  
EvilBobRoss: How small do you have to be in order to fit a wedding ring around your penis?

fat fingers, small dick... you do the math
 
2008-02-03 10:00:09 PM  
T.he U.ltra-Fark B.arium E.nema

They do some weird stuff in Ultr+++CONNECTION CLOSED+++
 
2008-02-03 10:00:19 PM  
EvilBobRoss: How small do you have to be in order to fit a wedding ring around your penis?

How fat was the wife's finger?
 
2008-02-03 10:02:03 PM  
Bucky Katt

Do I have to?
 
2008-02-03 10:04:57 PM  
Bucky Katt: EvilBobRoss: How small do you have to be in order to fit a wedding ring around your penis?

fat fingers, small dick... you do the math


And given those components, you could even do it in base 11.
 
2008-02-03 10:05:05 PM  
TALLY-WHACKER
 
2008-02-03 10:10:04 PM  
The internet comprises these? That's awesome.
 
2008-02-03 10:16:44 PM  
RoyBatty: Check out their feelings on second opinions. The only one that is annoyed with requests for second opinions is the g y n. And I am pretty sure from the answer to exercise that the g y n is an s h e.

what's your point?
 
2008-02-03 10:16:55 PM  
This reminds me of CNN's annual "Learn what your kids are saying!" article that defines internet acronyms like LOL and ROTF, and also obviously made-up ones, like POS (Parent Over Shoulder) and WCIGSCDAH (Where Can I Get Some Cheap Drugs And Hookers?).
 
2008-02-03 10:23:24 PM  
This thread is useless withou--OH GOD DELETE THAT!
 
2008-02-03 10:31:01 PM  
TheGreatZarquon: TFA: "Dr Mind: In my first six months as a doctor, a young man on his honeymoon came in with a wedding ring trapped round the base of his penis. In the end we got the dentist to drill it off and we saved the penis."

No matter WHAT I manage to get stuck on it, a dentist's drill isn't getting anywhere near me.


Skip that part, 'and we saved the penis.' has to be the funniest thing I've read in ages.
 
2008-02-03 10:31:42 PM  
libbyshome: I know that some doctors make notes. I was unwell and since my doctor was on holiday I visited a clinic. These notes were forewarded to my doctor. The note said "looks rough".

Well sweety...

You left that one open.

/I kid because I love
 
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