FARK.com: (3368410) Having solved all other medical problems, science tackles the most important issue of all: why we scratch

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

		Having solved all other medical problems, science tackles the most important issue of all: why we scratch (newsweek.com)		44
		More: Silly

• • •

5571 clicks; posted to Main » on 31 Jan 2008 at 7:53 PM | Favorite | share:

Share this link:

URL:

http://fark.com/go/3368410

Bookmark:

Article Comments close

44 Comments (+0 »)

Archived thread

Dead for Tax Reasons		2008-01-31 04:44:25 PM

is it 'i'm itchy' or 'i just like touching my balls'

Car_Ramrod		2008-01-31 04:59:07 PM

Told you you should've double-bagged it.

/dnrtfa

Dallymo		2008-01-31 05:16:06 PM

I know why I scratch; it's because I itch.

Now find out why I itch, and you might have something.

/it has nothing to do with your mother. or mine.

Cagey B		2008-01-31 05:22:49 PM

Because someone kept posting links to bedbug articles?

nobozo		2008-01-31 05:26:04 PM

Uchiha_Cycliste		2008-01-31 07:56:39 PM

Because we Itch.

ianjames		2008-01-31 07:57:53 PM

Thought I had a case of crabs one time. Turns out there were only 23.

/this thing on?

sombreradoraloca		2008-01-31 07:59:51 PM

'Cause we itch. Next question.

kidsizedcoffin		2008-01-31 08:00:01 PM

We just like to be reassured everything is still there.

/Now I got the world hanging from my nuts
//Damn it feels good to be a gangster

LukeA		2008-01-31 08:01:11 PM

ianjames: Thought I had a case of crabs one time. Turns out there were only 23.

/this thing on?

FTW

ObeliskToucher		2008-01-31 08:01:34 PM

Because we can...

DrForrester		2008-01-31 08:04:12 PM

I scratch because of smitty's mom.

Uchiha_Cycliste		2008-01-31 08:05:35 PM

Now for a non-smartass answer. When we have an itch, for whatever reason, it is a message telling us that something is wrong somewhere. Regardless of whether we know what the problem is or not, we must investigate in order to assure ourselves that we are not in some sort of serious danger. Scratching that itch allows us to temporarily or permanently relieve that problem because we know that we are OK; or we realize that a serious issue has arisen and we must take some other manner of drastic action.

\Or sometimes we just gotta get laid.

tatum		2008-01-31 08:07:30 PM

Why do I scratch? Cuz my balls taste terrible.

kidsizedcoffin		2008-01-31 08:07:56 PM

littlett's		2008-01-31 08:08:29 PM

"It's important to note that this was passive scratching. And these patients did not experience an itch, which was somewhat limiting. All we did was take a small brush and scratched their lower legs for about 30 seconds about five times over the course of five minutes."

These people didn't even have an itch to scratch.

Sean1000		2008-01-31 08:09:56 PM

theanti_blink		2008-01-31 08:11:01 PM

the more they scratch, the more you'll itch
its a condition we'll have to cure
dj vd, dj vd
it won't get me

/obscure
//since I asked it's not

Fluff Girl		2008-01-31 08:11:19 PM

tatum: Why do I scratch? Cuz my balls taste terrible.

You can reach? I would never leave the house.

Keystone Copout		2008-01-31 08:12:20 PM

Sabre-toothed crotch critters.

/that is all

petuniapup		2008-01-31 08:12:29 PM

This one time, at a cooperative education conference (in high school), I was giving a guy a backrub.
He asked if I scratched.
I'd just met him that weekend and thought it was a pretty weird question, but I answered anyway and stammered something about if it was in private and if it itched, probably, but probably not in public.
Then he was like, no, he meant scratching his back.

ahh, me.

bighairyguy		2008-01-31 08:14:35 PM

it....feels....good....ahhhhhhhhhhh

Purity Of Essence		2008-01-31 08:18:16 PM

Sure are fun to scratch!
Mmm! Satisfying!

chronoPilot		2008-01-31 08:24:52 PM

NEWSWEEK: Of all the medical issues plaguing mankind, why study something as seemingly innocuous as the itch and the scratch?

THEY KNEW THE HEADLINE WAS COMING!

/that is all

Oldiron_79		2008-01-31 08:31:06 PM

Dennis_Moore		2008-01-31 08:37:15 PM

/wikiwikiwikiwiki

izi ifil		2008-01-31 08:40:34 PM

Because she's a skanky hoebag and I don't need science to prove it.

Ikahoshi		2008-01-31 08:41:09 PM

Easy, because of pictures like those presented by kidsizedcoffin and Oldiron_79.

I'm going to be feeling phantom bugs all night now.

I_Can't_Believe_it's_not_Boutros		2008-01-31 08:42:31 PM

Because I can never put quite as much spin on the cue ball as I need to.

kilgorn		2008-01-31 08:56:52 PM

It helped me bat .307 last year...

/spit

hudef		2008-01-31 09:23:03 PM

Roaches		2008-01-31 09:25:48 PM

I got it from the toilet seat......them crotch crickets just jump right up I tell ya.

hilberry		2008-01-31 09:53:21 PM

Pfffft. Everyone knows you get it from riding a tractor in your swim suit!

Roaches		2008-01-31 09:59:24 PM

hilberry 2008-01-31 09:53:21 PM
Pfffft. Everyone knows you get it from riding a tractor in your swim suit!

I'll have to try that and see...I'm itching already! :-)

theorellior		2008-01-31 10:30:02 PM

Because we're mammals?

JSTACAT		2008-01-31 10:32:10 PM

Its hard not to scratch a 7 year itch

repeatedly...

sorickjames		2008-01-31 10:48:17 PM

This submission style is no longer funny. Boo to everyone expecting everyone in science to be working on stuff that is actually relevant to health, well-being, and the betterment of society.

All sarcasm aside, however, get a new submission pun. It's old.

Jeffrey.Rodriguez		2008-02-01 12:28:59 AM

sorickjames

/not subby

St. Hubbins		2008-02-01 02:25:21 AM

Anyone else get really itchy reading that?

glenlivid		2008-02-01 05:39:25 AM

Wait till "science" takes the training wheels off and starts splitting the atom...then you'll be sorry.

...whoops...

wespipes		2008-02-01 07:00:06 AM

Nothing amuses me more than a smoker doing the old 'I need a ciggie itch'.

/Nose rubbing is easy to pick a lie.

MetaCarpal		2008-02-01 10:08:04 AM

On all this "having solved all other medical problems" and "still no cure for cancer" fun, I offer you the following thought:

Not every doctor graduated at the top of their class. As with every profession, there are always those who just barely made it. They have to do something with their downtime.

Personally, I'd rather have them researching why we itch rather than sucking up cancer-study grant funds and derailing the rest of the researchers with their misbegotten theories.

mochunk		2008-02-01 01:54:21 PM

"There are about 30 million people with eczema and some patients literally scratch themselves raw."

Don't I feel special. One in 30 million. And yes, it sucks. Waking up in the middle of the night not even realizing you've scratched your leg until bloody.

For the third time that night...

Haven't worn shorts in public since I was a little kid.