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(BBC)   People over 50 increasingly at risk for STDs because they shun condom use, preferring instead to rely on the onions worn on their belts   (news.bbc.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Stupid  
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517 clicks; posted to Geek » on 31 Jan 2008 at 3:43 AM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



23 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2008-01-31 03:29:39 AM  
This reminds me of the time I did a hooker over in Shelbyville. I wanted one without gonorrhea, because Mildred, bless her heart, the only hooker in Springfield, had the clap, or what we used to call "Moses pox". So, I went to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my penis, which was the style at the time. Oh, how it stung when you first put one on. When I first tried it in nineteen-ought-twelve, why, my privates were so red, they called me Harold Grange! Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my penis, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
 
2008-01-31 04:01:30 AM  
Honestly, I was gonna post, but I don't think that there's anyway I could top Ral315.

So I'll just throw this out there..

z.about.com
 
2008-01-31 04:09:00 AM  
In rest homes there is a term. "Condo Cowboys". It refers to older men having a lot of sex with the older women. The women can't get pregnant and probably do not have a venereal disease. Likewise, the men also probably do not have a VD. So you have a community of older people who are safely sexually active humans. And everyone's happy.
 
2008-01-31 04:36:37 AM  
ral315: This reminds me of the time I did a hooker over in Shelbyville. I wanted one without gonorrhea, because Mildred, bless her heart, the only hooker in Springfield, had the clap, or what we used to call "Moses pox". So, I went to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my penis, which was the style at the time. Oh, how it stung when you first put one on. When I first tried it in nineteen-ought-twelve, why, my privates were so red, they called me Harold Grange! Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now where were we? Oh yeah -- the important thing was that I had an onion on my penis, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...

My car gets 12 rods to the hogshead, and that's the way I like it!
 
2008-01-31 04:40:33 AM  
Use a sheepskin.
 
2008-01-31 05:18:32 AM  
Sun God: In rest homes there is a term. "Condo Cowboys". It refers to older men having a lot of sex with the older women. The women can't get pregnant and probably do not have a venereal disease. Likewise, the men also probably do not have a VD. So you have a community of older people who are safely sexually active humans. And everyone's happy.

My ex worked in an STD clinic several years ago. She had a few seniors who would come in on Thursday nights to get tested. One guy was 82. He had "soreness" once so they called the doc in to look at him. Ex said that they guy was raw, the doc asked and he was getting it 4 to 5 times *per day*. Dude was 82 and still getting it daily. Apparently the "rest home" wasn't rest for him. I wanted to high 5 the guy.
 
2008-01-31 06:05:57 AM  
they're doing it wrong
 
2008-01-31 06:19:51 AM  
Makes sense, I mean herpes - even though you are stuck with it for life - really isn't that huge a problem and most of the STDs that were around in the 50's, 60's and 70's were quickly fixed with a shot of Penicilan(sic).

Now I guess a lot of them figure what's one more pill more or less.
 
2008-01-31 06:51:56 AM  
Fifty's not looking that old to me anymore, so I'm getting a kick out of these replies.

Eighty, OTOH, still looks pretty old.
 
2008-01-31 07:21:10 AM  
Sun God: So you have a community of older people who are safely sexually active humans. And everyone's happy.

Not me, after that visual.
 
2008-01-31 07:45:24 AM  
http://www.local6.com/news/9283707/detail.html (new window)


Doctors said sexually transmitted diseases among senior citizens are running rampant at a popular Central Florida retirement community, according to a Local 6 News report.

A gynecologist at The Villages community near Orlando, Fla., said she treats more cases of herpes and the human papilloma virus in the retirement community than she did in the city of Miami.

"Yeah, they are very shocked (to hear the diagnosis)," gynecologist Dr. Colleen McQuade said. "I had a patient in her 80s."

"More and more senior citizens are ending up in the gynecologist office, and their diagnosis is a sexually transmitted disease," Local 6 reporter Vanessa Medina said.


Local 6 featured Louis Franklin, who used to date in the community at least three times a week.

"I have had a better dating life since I have been here than I have ever had," Franklin said. "I know there are things going around."

A doctor blamed Viagra, a lack of sex education and no risk for pregnancy for the spike in sexually transmitted diseases at The Villages.

"All I can repeat are the things I have heard which are things like, 'Should I bring the little blue pills over tonight?'" community singles group president Richard Matwyshen said.

Watch Local 6 News for more on this story.
 
2008-01-31 07:51:03 AM  
It was bad enough when I opened the medicine cabinet and found that my grandmother and her boyfriend use the same brand of lube that I do ... if I find out they use Durex too, I'm switching brands.
 
2008-01-31 07:55:33 AM  
So I can hit Christie Brinkley bareback?
 
2008-01-31 08:13:31 AM  
Resonant

So granny uses Anal-Eze too?
 
2008-01-31 08:15:38 AM  
Resonant: if I find out they use Durex too, I'm switching brands.

Wouldn't you be impressed if he used Titans?
 
2008-01-31 08:21:15 AM  
That was the style at the time...
 
2008-01-31 09:15:18 AM  
How's that summer of love working out for you now, baby boomers?
 
2008-01-31 10:08:00 AM  
Yet one more reason to only have sex with young hotties.
 
2008-01-31 10:20:11 AM  
Rubbers are for sailors.
 
2008-01-31 10:44:29 AM  
I bet some older guys get more ass than a toilet seat. As you get older there are a lot more women than men (Romero 217). Hell, I'm betting that there are more than a few of them that figure that even if they get a virus they'll have for the rest of their life, how long can that be?

Works Cited:

Romero, Rick. Rick Romero's Big Book of Obviousness. 1st. Los Angeles: Kinkos, 2005.
 
2008-01-31 01:45:59 PM  
Dammit!! Why is everyone screwing up sex!? It's supposed to be FUN!
 
2008-01-31 05:56:05 PM  
I have found that rubbing the end of my cock into a freshly cut onion does prevent me from fathering any children.
 
2008-01-31 06:33:18 PM  
ral315:

You have won FARK for the day!
 
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