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(All Africa)   Uganda turns to lizard blood for AIDS cure, curing cancer next   (allafrica.com) divider line 81
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5039 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Jan 2008 at 10:37 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-01-28 10:39:43 PM
Don't they know that having unprotected sex with virgins cures AIDS?

I thought EVERYONE knew that!
 
2008-01-28 10:40:20 PM
Well, it's a step up from farking babies.
 
2xu
2008-01-28 10:41:12 PM
All cultures are equal.

/sarcasm
 
2008-01-28 10:42:59 PM
You'll all feel stupid when it works.
 
2008-01-28 10:43:10 PM
So THAT'S why Magic Johnson cornered the market on salamanders!
 
2008-01-28 10:44:11 PM
Disapproves.

www.facade.com
 
2008-01-28 10:45:00 PM
Godzilla disapproves.
 
2008-01-28 10:45:08 PM
Does not approve
worldofwonder.net
 
2008-01-28 10:45:23 PM
We should work on eradicating THEM before we take out the Iraqis. Just eliminate the massive culture of STUPID that is brewing down there.
 
2008-01-28 10:46:33 PM
Is there any illness a little ginger ale, chicken noodle soup and white-throated monitor lizard blood CAN'T cure?
 
2008-01-28 10:48:25 PM
jackbooty: Is there any illness a little ginger ale, chicken noodle soup and white-throated monitor lizard blood CAN'T cure?

Guess what? I got a fever, and the only prescription... is more cowbell!
 
2008-01-28 10:50:52 PM
No people, the cure is farking Forest Whitaker.

/obscure now?
 
2008-01-28 10:51:43 PM
I heard North Korea is doing a lot with pine needles these days, too...
 
2008-01-28 10:56:38 PM
What? They don't know about Chuck Norris's tears?

/Too bad Chuck Norris never cries
 
2008-01-28 11:00:00 PM
I have heard of this concept dealing with the level of ammino acids and white blood cell count in certian lizzards blood. Link (new window) Along with the fact that their bodies are cold blooded and require an outside heat source to warm them and their blood. Some are known for being resistant to some forms of leukemia.

//For reals!
 
2008-01-28 11:00:59 PM
No, the cure lies within Keith Richards.
 
2008-01-28 11:02:45 PM
Melgania: What? They don't know about Chuck Norris's tears?

/Too bad Chuck Norris never cries


No, no, no, they cure cancer.

Sheesh, all that medical misinformation out there.

Check your sources, people:
http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/ (new window)
 
2008-01-28 11:10:03 PM
lake_huron: Melgania: What? They don't know about Chuck Norris's tears?

/Too bad Chuck Norris never cries

No, no, no, they cure cancer.

Sheesh, all that medical misinformation out there.

Check your sources, people:
http://www.thechucknorrisfacts.com/ (new window)


neatorama.cachefly.net
 
2008-01-28 11:10:43 PM
I wonder if they try to match blood types between the lizard donors and human recipients?
 
2008-01-28 11:10:58 PM
I recommend eating bowl after bowl of honeycomb cereal.
 
Kat [TotalFark]
2008-01-28 11:12:33 PM
I skipped around in that article a bit, but there were NOT enough sentences that said that these people are stupid and not to inject lizard blood into yourself.
 
2008-01-28 11:16:35 PM
hahah, "lizard blood cures AIDS" gets an Obvious tag. Wish I had known this before I died of AIDS three years ago (I'm getting a kick...)
 
2008-01-28 11:18:10 PM
ianjames: I have heard of this concept dealing with the level of ammino acids and white blood cell count in certian lizzards blood. Link (YT: Rick Astley - Take me to your heart) (new window)

Oooh, mixing it up. Nice.
 
2008-01-28 11:19:03 PM
Pvt Joker: I wonder if they try to match blood types between the lizard donors and human recipients?

"Hot... damn, this one's cold! Alright, next lizard"
 
EJ
2008-01-28 11:19:14 PM
I know of some parts of the world that think drinking lizard blood will help make your eyesight better.

(hint: southern mexico.)
 
2008-01-28 11:19:49 PM
Goldeneye007: We should work on eradicating THEM before we take out the Iraqis. Just eliminate the massive culture of STUPID that is brewing down there.

Hey, Uganda earned the LOWEST HIV infection rate in Africa.
In 1986 President Yoweri Museveni personally launched a campaign against AIDS. Said it was everyone's national duty to avoid infection and listed exactly what steps- abstinence, sticking with your wife, and/or condoms. Said all this PERSONALLY.

Contrast this with Reagan here in a far "smarter" nation, who didn't want to associate himself with "gay cancer" and didn't ever mention or refer to HIV/AIDS for years. Actually he finally mentions it in 1986, same time as Uganda addressed it, but we'd known about it for 4 years at that point and even still Reagan was far from addressing the social issue esp the sexual behavior aspect when Uganda jumped straight in and hit the nail right on the head.
 
2008-01-28 11:21:37 PM
50,000+ years ago, most of our ancestors were figuring out the best venison barbeque recipes. They were stitching their own clothes and making little bits of jewelry from the bones of particularly tasty venison. They were rather savage by today's measure, but at least they were learning and refining themselves.

Here in the year 2008, those guys eating barbeque venison are using laptops and driving cars to their gore-free jobs in air-conditioned buildings. They collect artwork and contemplate the nature of God. They disagree occasionally, but it's usually over something like football or governmental policies. They still enjoy venison once in awhile, but Steak & Shake isn't half bad, either.

Meanhile, these people in Uganda are drinking lizard blood because they think it's magical.

Similarly, think of some of the ancient animals you learned about as a kid; sabre-toothed tigers, giant sloths and such. Most dinosaurs. Do you suppose it's a tragedy that so many of life's iterations have disappeared?

If there is one constant in the evolution of life, it's that not everybody gets to have a future. So maybe it would be a smart move to just back away and let some people guzzle their magical lizard juice. After all, you've got a future to think about.
 
2008-01-28 11:24:02 PM
Wait... Wasn't farking with animals what started this whole mess?
 
Kat [TotalFark]
2008-01-28 11:25:17 PM
^^THIS. thisthisthisthisthis.


Why can't we just let idiots die?
 
2008-01-28 11:29:53 PM
Kat: ^^THIS. thisthisthisthisthis.


Why can't we just let idiots die?


Because they must be studied. We shouldn't close ourselves off from the rest of the dumb world. If we just ignore these people, their cultural idiocy will vanish with them, leaving us less amused.
 
2008-01-28 11:30:41 PM
Uganda get better real soon.
 
2008-01-28 11:31:57 PM
That's why black people are so successful the world over. They're so farking SMART.
 
Kat [TotalFark]
2008-01-28 11:32:45 PM
fiiiiine.
 
2008-01-28 11:35:03 PM
Kenya get me some lizard blood?
 
2008-01-28 11:35:05 PM
serial_crusher: ianjames: I have heard of this concept dealing with the level of ammino acids and white blood cell count in certian lizzards blood. Link (YT: Rick Astley - Take me to your heart) (new window)

Oooh, mixing it up. Nice.


Nothing to see here,... move along
now.....
 
2008-01-28 11:39:14 PM
Oznog:
Hey, Uganda earned the LOWEST HIV infection rate in Africa.
In 1986 President Yoweri Museveni personally launched a campaign against AIDS. Said it was everyone's national duty to avoid infection and listed exactly what steps- abstinence, sticking with your wife, and/or condoms. Said all this PERSONALLY.


Uganda has the 29th highest prevalence of AIDS in the world, approximately 4.1%. Not as catastrophically high as many of her African neighbors but still high by any measure.

Among black African nations, the Muslim Sudan and Somalia are doing comparatively well, with 2.3% and approx. 1% respectively. For all the faults of these two countries, they seem to have avoided the worst of the AIDS pandemic.
 
2008-01-28 11:43:57 PM
ultraholland: If we just ignore these people, their cultural idiocy will vanish with them, leaving us less amused.

You make a good point, but consider the alternative. If we let them go, it will effectively raise the bar on what we find amusing to begin with. Sure, jokes about dark matter and relativity might seem too dry, but we'll always have Alabamans to laugh at. At least most people in Alabama can hold jobs and only lightly sip the occasional lizard squeezins.
 
2008-01-28 11:47:47 PM
Wow...who knew you could cure AIDS simply by draining the lizard?
 
2008-01-28 11:48:32 PM
geektard: Kenya get me some lizard blood?

Niger, please.
 
2008-01-28 11:49:27 PM
I watched an interesting PBS special where their theory about technology and industry is directly tied to nutrition. The model of hunting/gathering took too much time and resources to focus on developing society, and poor crops don't yield much excess protein (energy) given the work required to cultivate and grow said crops. Basically, if you don't have good nutrition from easy food, you simply stagnate with what you know and what works to sustain.
 
rpm
2008-01-28 11:51:07 PM
Wulfhardt: Meanhile, these people in Uganda are drinking lizard blood because they think it's magical

Yah, swigging lizard's blood is useless an old wives, as is something silly like chewing tree bark or blood letting with leeches
 
Kat [TotalFark]
2008-01-28 11:55:48 PM
these people in uganda are not drinking the blood. there are probably some health/nutritional benefits to drinking any sort of blood. They are INJECTING IT INTO THEIR VEINS. Totally different ball game.
 
Kat [TotalFark]
2008-01-28 11:56:32 PM
that last post was for rpm and Wulfhardt
 
2008-01-28 11:57:04 PM
DESPERATE people living with the HIV/Aids virus in Yumbe district, northwestern Uganda, have resorted to an ominous therapy - that of injecting themselves with blood drawn from an uncommon type of lizard.

As long as they don't share the needles...
 
2008-01-29 12:01:44 AM
The racism is strong in this thread.
 
2008-01-29 12:05:56 AM
Aliens may invade Antartica, but Darwin OWNS Uganda, and much of Africa.
 
2008-01-29 12:09:14 AM
This idea might catch on...

in the us...

Poor lizards..
theyre being chased by ...
needles!
 
2008-01-29 12:16:05 AM
FTA:
Treatment origin

Initial reports indicated that a woman in Yumbe, who thought the reptile was poisonous, had cooked and served it for her daughter who was critically ill with Aids so that she dies quickly. In what Prof. Baguma described as a "happy accident", the targeted victim instead made a confounding recovery.""

// catchy!
 
2008-01-29 12:20:52 AM
What, no jars full of gypsy tears?
 
2008-01-29 12:23:48 AM
Kat: that last post was for rpm and Wulfhardt

Mainlining lizard blood instead of pounding shots of it at the local Ugandan night club IS a totally different thing altogether. It means the magic is stronger.
 
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