-100 for the tired and lame "Having solved all other..." headline.

Yanks_RSJ: Hot Carl To Go: Hero tag for this guy. Even if he is from Maryland.

As a former frequent thrower-outer of the Laurel (MD) Leader, I wholeheartedly support this legislation.

Thanks, Yanks. I had no idea what that thing was called. As I walk home I dip down, scoop it up, and toss it right into the trash in one motion. I don't think I've ever taken it out of the bag.

And I have wondered before why they didn't have a 'no-call' list for that crap. Hero tag indeed.

Great idea.

Cancel the mail before going on holiday, and then return to a pile of waste paper on your driveway, just crying out 'This house is empty'

Sometimes I wonder if free newspapers are sponsored by burglars.

newspaperguy: This is a shame. People on here are actually celebrating this? A tool that could be used to end free press? Way to go Farkers. Maybe you should read the free paper before you condemn it. I understand that many times these publications are little more than ads, but think of the damage that will be done to small town independent reporting if this becomes a trend. Just because we read Fark for news doesn't mean we should chide small publications. Where would we get our links if there was no one reporting?

Yeah, stopping unwanted deliveries is the same as squelching the newspapers. Right. Look, go ahead and print your paper! Post it online, ask businesses to display it out front, whatever. No problem. But don't litter my yard with unwanted advertising.

How would you like it if your TV turned on and tuned itself to a random news show every day?

EMCGuy: I am amazed by all the people here that think this is an awesome idea. What happened to all the farkers that want less government? What about governmental creep? Creating a law for every minor nuisance is what leads to the nanny-statism that so many rail against.

Just because you don't like something doesn't mean there should be a law against it.

Maybe if the papers themselves were able to honor a request to cease delivery, such action wouldn't even be considered.

People are bombarded with the stuff. I don't need some crappy newspaper delivered to my house twice a week, especially when I asked on multiple occasions for it to stop. If they aren't capable of managing their circulation to anything more specific than "anybody with a front door" maybe this is a good thing.

newspaperguy: A tool that could be used to end free press?

Free (as in speech) press != free (as in beer) listeners. You pay for the recycling and trash pickup I have to pay for, then we can talk about leaving crap on my lawn. Until then, it's litter.

It took me 11 tries to get the local paper to stop dropping off the stuff that if I wanted, I would go and get it.

newspaperguy: People on here are actually celebrating this? A tool that could be used to end free press?

Specious argument.

Put the papers in "Honor Boxes" at places where people shop. Like the DC City Paper does. Their circulation is fine, they're turning a profit, so much so that they started stapling the fold and printing in non-smudge ink, and in color.

And they're not doing it by flinging them at those who don't want them, as the atrocious Examiner does, which I have no doubt (not having read TFA) is the irritant that set this all in motion.

/Sweet Jeebus, the Examiner sucks monkey butt!

Chewbacca_Defense: Thanks, Yanks. I had no idea what that thing was called. As I walk home I dip down, scoop it up, and toss it right into the trash in one motion. I don't think I've ever taken it out of the bag.

Yeah, that was essentially the routine. Frankly, unless you have a birdcage, I don't know why you'd actually take it out of the plastic.

Oh, and the Examiner prints not one, but two Sudokus per day that a retarded gibbon wouldn't have a hard time solving. Speaks volumes about their target audience.

Monkey butt, I say!

newspaperguy
This is a shame. People on here are actually celebrating this? A tool that could be used to end free press? Way to go Farkers. Maybe you should read the free paper before you condemn it. I understand that many times these publications are little more than ads, but think of the damage that will be done to small town independent reporting if this becomes a trend. Just because we read Fark for news doesn't mean we should chide small publications. Where would we get our links if there was no one reporting?

Non-issue. The three "free" papers weekly (x2, three at the front door, three at the rear) I receive are published by larger newspapers. All of the "news" in these adverts are reprints.

Yanks_RSJ: Frankly, unless you have a birdcage, I don't know why you'd actually take it out of the plastic.

To recycle the paper and plastic, separately?

What backwater do you guys live in that doesn't recycle?

newspaperguy: This is a shame. People on here are actually celebrating this? A tool that could be used to end free press?

Only in the same way that a law stopping me from squatting down and leaving a steaming dump on your front step could be used to end free press.

timmy_the_tooth: That and all those retarded mailers I get.

Are you on good terms with your mail carrier? I explained to mine that the entire pile went straight into recycling and he stopped delivering them.

True, there are better ways to distribute a free publication, like the Metro in Philadelphia does by putting it on buses. My point is that many small communities can only have their local governments or school events covered by these free community newspapers. I hope I'm not alone on this. It's just that, many small communities would have little or no local reporting without these "nuisance" publications. Maybe unwanted home deliver is not ideal, but, when I say it could be used to end free press and without jumping to any conclusions,, I think anything that keeps a news (as in events, opinion and local happening) publication (not propaganda or sales bulletin) from getting into the hands of the community is an unnecessary hurdle.

I called and had a disco freakout on the local newspaper around here after I hit one of these fooking things with my snowblower and bent the blade when it was frozen to my driveway after a snowstorm. I told them I was going to file a report with the police for littering on my property. I never saw one of these stupid newspapers again.

newspaperguy: My point is that many small communities can only have their local governments or school events covered by these free community newspapers. I hope I'm not alone on this. It's just that, many small communities would have little or no local reporting without these "nuisance" publications. Maybe unwanted home deliver is not ideal, but, when I say it could be used to end free press and without jumping to any conclusions,, I think anything that keeps a news (as in events, opinion and local happening) publication (not propaganda or sales bulletin) from getting into the hands of the community is an unnecessary hurdle.

That's all fine, but why can't I request delivery to be ceased and have it honored?

And as someone else pointed out, it creates unnecessary waste in the form of paper and the plastic in which it's delivered.

Deucednuisance: Yanks_RSJ: Frankly, unless you have a birdcage, I don't know why you'd actually take it out of the plastic.

To recycle the paper and plastic, separately?
What backwater do you guys live in that doesn't recycle?

When it rains, the plastic wrapper does little to protect the paper. Usually, by the time I get home, the paper is pretty well soaked and the whole soggy mess just goes in the trash can. I refuse to spend my time separating and drying out someone else's litter just so I can get a big warm fuzzy about recycling.

Super Chronic: I never understood the "Having solved all other societal ills" Fark cliche. What, just because there are bigger issues in the world, all lesser issues need to be ignored?

Yeah, and all "scientists" should be curing cancer, even the ones in completely unrelated fields.

newspaperguy: My point is that many small communities can only have their local governments or school events covered by these free community newspapers. I

Bullshiat. I grew up where my graduating class was less than 50. This was a school for *5* towns. There was still a weekly paper, available in the local stores.

Deucednuisance: And they're not doing it by flinging them at those who don't want them, as the atrocious Examiner does, which I have no doubt (not having read TFA) is the irritant that set this all in motion.

/Sweet Jeebus, the Examiner sucks monkey butt!

I've got a friend who works at the Examiner. She hates it there. Says management is clueless.

/journalist
//hates junk mail and the freebie newspapers, aka, fluff wrapped around ads

Charge them with littering... one count for each paper thrown. Then charge the people who pay the guys who toss them for conspiracy to litter. Then charge the papers themselves with conspiracy to litter as well.

I will add my vote that having a "do not litter my farking driveway" list like this is a good idea. These newspapers as well as phone books and any other product of dead trees that are put in my driveway or near my front door go straight to the trash bin.

In one town here, they planted green delivery boxes (like mailboxes with no door) on stakes next to everyone's mailbox for a place to put the Shopper. If you took yours down, they'd come out and put up a new one -- man I'd love to live there just to fark with them.

Foaming Can we [add] the sheaf of random unaddressed paper the mail man is forced to cram in my mailbox every Tuesday?

Please? I have a box by the garage and all newsprint from the mail or the yard goes straight into the box. when it's full I haul it off to recycling. At least it pays for the neighborhood street dividers to be mown, but I'd rather just pay the $3 the recyclers pay.

I am a newspaper publisher. We have a both a paid and free distribution product.
The reason you have the problem with all the crap piled up in your yard is that the circulation people for that newspaper are stupid. Call and get them fired.
Newsprint is too expensive for me to continue to fill your yard with trash. There are plenty of people who read these and it behooves me to find those readers .
If you'll call the publisher of the paper (ask for the guy who makes sure people get paid), tell him you you're not going to clean any more of them up and the next time they throw one, you'll turn the newspaper in for littering your yard, that usually handles it.
Most towns have a litter ordinance and pissing off people who don't want your paper is typically a violation of it.

UtileDysfunktion: Usually, by the time I get home, the paper is pretty well soaked and the whole soggy mess just goes in the trash can.

What backwater do you live in where it "usually" is raining?

I keed, I keed.

/What, no love for Monkey Butt? My friends will be so disappointed.

The town where I live has a town-enforced "no circulars" rule that works extremely well. Violators get slapped with as much as $100 per incident.

The mailperson delivers the free crap to my house on Tuesday. I put out the garbage can Tuesday night for pick up the next morning. The free crap goes directly from the "box" to the "can". It's quite convenient.

kbarham: And the 5-6 phone books I receive every year. I hate that stuff, especially since I haven't used a local phone book in who knows when. It annoys me to come home after a trip to find one of those has been sitting at the end of the driveway for days.

Q.F.T.

I was in an abandoned building recently and found a four foot high by five foot deep stack of 1994 phone books, still shrink wrapped. They were so old, they were published by Southern Bell (now BellSouth AT&T)

These days, I assume 90% of the produced phone books go from the printer to the landfill without being opened.

In the Baltimore area, where I live, this targets The Examiner. It's a reasonably good paper with local stuff, not the typical free rag distributed around Ft. Meade or Columbia. That paper is mostly ads and fluff from wire services.

The Examiner has been more balanced, and perhaps critical, of the new tax increases. It has published pieces against firing the State Superintendent of Public Schools. The political establishment wants to take it out. The subscription rags have lost subscribers to it (me included).

Most folks who pay for newspapers don't always pick them up either. Doesn't look like this will make a big difference there. Maybe it's just me, but I seem to have extremely lazy neighbors. One of the worst offenders still has a red bow on their post light. Can we get a law passed to make people take down their outdoor Christmas decorations?

If they screw with this, I can still get The Examiner from a free box. They can't shove their crap down my throat by taking the free paper away.

/The Sun sux
//The Gazette sux
///The Capitol sux

mar19: I am a newspaper publisher. We have a both a paid and free distribution product.
The reason you have the problem with all the crap piled up in your yard is that the circulation people for that newspaper are stupid. Call and get them fired.
Newsprint is too expensive for me to continue to fill your yard with trash. There are plenty of people who read these and it behooves me to find those readers...

Don't know. I had someone dump around a dozen of the same edition in my yard once. It was probably an honest mistake, but it motivated me to gather them up and drive over to the local publisher. I talked to the guy responsible for circulation and asked that they cease and desist. He explained to me that they had no way system of distinquishing between customers who wanted the freebies and those that didn't, and that they had no plans to institute such a system as it would be too expensive to maintain (considering the slim advertising revenues).

Can we also sign up to not get the goddamn supermarket flyers in the goddamn mail every goddamn day?

In fairness, I live in Baltimore, and every day I get the "East County Times" (Formally the Essex Times) and "The Avenue" delivered to my home (which is in Essex, a small town in Baltimore County) and specifically had to find someone to watch my place when I went on vacation because I don't mind getting them, but there would have been 12 of each of them piled up. Plus, I also got them to watch my dog, so it helped out I guess.

And also, it's cool to get them, cause it's a FREE NEWSPAPER! Makes me feel rich.

My neighor never picks her stupid damn free papers up. They just pile up in her driveway, the street, the grass... pretty much everywhere. Somehow most of them end up moving into my yard where I get the fun job of dealing with a soggy pile of 2 week old papers.

I had to call The Oregonian twice, twice and convince them to knock it off. I don't want their crap, even when it is free. You would think that the recycling bin full of untouched papers would be a clue.

/HUGE waste of resources. Paper, ink, energy, gas to deliver it, plastic to wrap it in.

//also phonebooks. enough with the phonebooks. trees will thank you! who uses phonebooks these days anyway?!

The Atlanta Farking Journal Constitution ruined about half of my front yard with their free "paper" a few years ago.

We were on vacation and they threw one of these onto my lawn, where the plastic bag evidently trapped moisture and started mold. By the time we got back, there was a two foot ring of rot around their worthless bag of coupons disguised as a newspaper.

It eventually spread all over the front yard and cost hundreds to have fixed. The AJC monkeys couldn't/wouldn't help and despite their constant promises - never had the delivery of the damned things stopped.

I ended up having to narrow down the time window they were chucking this crap onto my lawn, stake it out (at 5am) and try to stop the cocksucker from doing it again. He told me that the "law" said they could deliver them anywhere and I couldn't stop him. I threw that one at his Explorer (complete with "gold" accents and spinners) as he drove off. The next week, I got four.

The third week I called the cops when he did it, followed him and gave the cops vectors so they could pull him over. I never got another one and found out where he lives because he went there while I was following him. So I left a nice turkey carcass on his lawn the next Thanksgiving.

The Marietta Daily Journal, on the other hand, stopped their deliveries after one phone call.

subby: don't mock a good idea.

I full support this man and his efforts to rid me of little blue bagged pennysaver papers that I invariably forget to throw out, and then the wind catches them off my doorknob and makes the blue bag all twisty and then I'm out on my front lawn with a knife trying to release that little blue bagged farker from my door. And then I cut myself.

/I can make the run on sentence happen people, believe me

I sent a letter to the paper telling them that if they continue to throw their trash on my lawn, I will charge them $1000 as a cleanup fee and contact the DA to have them fined for littering.

I stopped getting papers.

Ikki: I don't know anyone that reads these things and I'm tired of picking them up/throwing them out. Can these idiots be fined for littering? That's a valid argument/complaint, right??

THIS!

They're free because they're worth it.

FarkBench: If they screw with this, I can still get The Examiner from a free box. They can't shove their crap down my throat by taking the free paper away.

Or you could not join the registry for "People who don't want the paper", given that you want the paper. Removing yourself from the list is an opt-in process.

We get 3 a week. When we moved into our house last Spring one of the first things our neighbors said was, "Don't even bother trying to stop them, it's impossible." She was right, there's no way to do it.

Straight to the recycle bin. Every one of them. Farking waste.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

This is why they legally can't do anything about lawn newspapers. Srsly. There have been similar attempts to regulate free newspaper racks, and the cities have lost.

Over half my outgoing trash is junk mail, crap stuck to my front door and phone books. Its ridiculously stupid.

mbillips: This is why they legally can't do anything about lawn newspapers. Srsly. There have been similar attempts to regulate free newspaper racks, and the cities have lost.

Free newspaper racks are (generally) on public property. I'd think delivery to homes is a different animal. I don't have to let you give sermons or hold meetings in my home, for example. But I'm not a lawyer, and no one says these things have to be intuitive.

sasquatchologist: Feds won't institute a "Do Not Mail" list though, because, according to them, too many postal workers would lose their jobs.

I am about to give you a beautiful secret. All I ask is that you use your power wisely.

The law (pops) says that you can have the Postal Service demand that anyone, on pain of terrible penalties, stop sending you mail. To do that, you fill out Form 1500 and request a Prohibitory Order. It's designed to prevent getting obscene or indecent mailings, but the (good) catch is that "obscene" is something you get to decide, and they have zero discretion over whether to enforce it.

I had a charity that would mail me monthly beg letters, despite repeated efforts to get them to stop. I got a prohibitory order. They sent me more stuff. I forwarded it to the postal inspectors with a copy of the prohibitory order, and a couple weeks later, I got back a letter that said, essentially, "thanks for the information; this appears to be a violation, and we'll follow up on it."

I haven't heard from the charity since, and it's over three years now. So it does work.

chimp_ninja: mbillips: This is why they legally can't do anything about lawn newspapers. Srsly. There have been similar attempts to regulate free newspaper racks, and the cities have lost.

Free newspaper racks are (generally) on public property. I'd think delivery to homes is a different animal. I don't have to let you give sermons or hold meetings in my home, for example. But I'm not a lawyer, and no one says these things have to be intuitive.

Nope. Those of us who live in the sidewalkless burbs don't often know it, but the first few feet of "your" lawn is actually in the public right of way (often twice as wide as the paved part of the street). As long as they don't lob the paper up on your porch, you're screwn.