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(   Uri Gellar to use psychic powers and helicopter to pinpoint location of Braveheart battle   ( divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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508 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Oct 2002 at 3:26 AM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

56 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-10-23 04:55:48 PM  
Him and the Amazing Randi need to go head-to-head on Larry King again. That was funny. Unless I made it up, and it never happened.
2002-10-23 08:18:24 PM  
What the hell?

I'm in the wrong line of work.
2002-10-23 11:13:14 PM  
If these moron psychics had an ounce of credibility, then why don't they pool their karma and find this sniper?
2002-10-24 12:37:55 AM  
He is most famous for claims to be able to bend spoons and keys with his mind - an ability he says may be attributable to extraterrestrials.
There will be no digging. Instead, Geller hopes to utilise dowsing to reveal the presence of the dead as he passes over their unmarked graves.

"It's a talent to do with intuitive forces in your mind," he explains. "I will be visualising a battle, trying to see colours and masses of people. I'll be looking down at the area, holding the map in my hand. If I feel a very strong pull, very powerful, like two magnets fighting each other, creating an energy field - that's the feeling that will tell me it is there."

riiiiight. I would put lot a faith in this guy.
2002-10-24 12:41:08 AM  
still can't type apparently - did fine on the copy and paste.
2002-10-24 03:29:41 AM  
He needs to try visualising the sniper.
2002-10-24 03:32:08 AM  
I really wish I had the charisma necessary to part fools with their money like this guy does.
2002-10-24 03:35:11 AM  
He doesn't call it charisma QuietSound, he calls it a gift.
2002-10-24 03:35:57 AM  
BTW, Exeter FC are languishing near the bottom of the lowest division in the UK Football League.
2002-10-24 03:37:31 AM  
Sure is easy to "find" a battle location when nobody knows where it was and there is no corroboration.
2002-10-24 03:41:10 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Yeah well I'd like to see him bend spoons as well as I can.
2002-10-24 03:41:10 AM  
Why doesn't he find the sniper?
2002-10-24 03:42:29 AM  
Reminds me of that funny psychic dude on the X-Files... what was his name? The great something....?
2002-10-24 03:43:39 AM  
Maybe we could send him to find OBL...
2002-10-24 03:44:03 AM  
Yeah but can this fool find my keyes!

Where are my keys!

Damn you Tequila!
2002-10-24 03:44:51 AM  
P.S. I aint talkin' bout Alan KEYES.

I'm lookin' for my KEYS.
2002-10-24 03:52:42 AM  
You know what's funny? while I am sitting here, fantasizing about my girlfriend who is many miles away, there are microscopic organisms having sex on me. I can't get any, but there is an orgy all over my skin, not to mention the billions of bacteria that live inside of me.

That holds true for all human kind.

/Nothing to do with psychics, just wanna freak out somebody
2002-10-24 03:53:32 AM  
Hrmph. I don't need psychic powers to tell me that the Battle of Falkirk occured in a public toilet in Watseka, Illinois four hours after I ingested a pound of liverwurst and two quarts of beer. Soiled me kilt I did.
2002-10-24 03:58:01 AM  
Why isnt he putting his psychic skillz to better use like finding where the sniper, Osama and the Bali bombers are.
2002-10-24 04:02:22 AM  
Reno- look like 5 replies up
2002-10-24 04:06:21 AM  
My. Rosy. Red. Arse.
2002-10-24 04:06:36 AM  
Ah, darn.
2002-10-24 04:09:20 AM  
2002-10-24 04:10:23 AM  
To paraphrase Penn & Teller, do not mock Uri Gellar's power, for he will litigate.

Why hasn't a psychic one the last 10,000 lottery prizes?
2002-10-24 04:37:52 AM  
For ages james Randl has been offering $1m to anyone who can demonstrate psychic, supernatural or paranormal ability under satisfactory observing conditions. Nobody has yet claimed it. Not even the great Uri Geller. Wonder why? Could it be that it's all stupid bullshiat believed by gullible morons? You decide.
2002-10-24 04:54:54 AM  
It's one of the great mysteries of science. When he rubs things, they tend to go bendy so how on earth does Uri manage a swift one off the wrist?
2002-10-24 05:01:30 AM  

He uses his mind to stroke it with psychokinesis. I've heard the chicks really dig it.
2002-10-24 05:13:06 AM  

As Uri said to his jizz mopper, thanks for clearing that up.
2002-10-24 05:18:48 AM  
Uri Gellar's still around. Funny, I thought he went out with pet rocks. Maybe he and John Edwards and Silvia Brown will tour the world: "The Fraud Never Stops" tour, that is. Mr. Gellar did get a brief mention in an Incubus song. ("Better than watching Gellar bending silver spoons.")

You know, for the life of me, I can't remember what psychic it was that appeared on Johnny Carson and was pretty much exposed (the great Mr. Carson, a magician). Let me know when his obituary comes up, I'll actually read that.
2002-10-24 07:14:07 AM  
Rubber spoon rubber spoon rubber spoon rubber spoon yes

My psychowhat'sitpowers

Darn your non metal body!

Where are the sealab references??
2002-10-24 07:41:52 AM  
Uri Gellar is a fraud and a fake.
2002-10-24 07:46:14 AM  
The reporter is obviously biased. Anyone can bend spoons or keys, also, Uri is a well known cheater, and has yet to succesfully defend himself in court. On the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson, Randi switched Uri's fake, bending spoons for real spoons, and Uri evaded the question about when he was going to bend the spoons as promised, and did not perform. What a loser. He also failed to find a kidnapped girl, a rather high profile case. The kidnappers evaded the authorities while the attention was drawn to Uri. Gee Uri, I guess we can all see where human value is in your world, but I suppose the press was good for your bank account.
2002-10-24 07:59:41 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

I. Bend. Spoons.
2002-10-24 08:03:16 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Yeah, and this answers a few questions, as well.
2002-10-24 08:22:50 AM  
I'd make some nasty comment about the king of all fakes, Uri Geller, but it's not worth the effort.
2002-10-24 08:32:00 AM  
The best thing about this was he was meant to do it on Monday (I think) but the fabulous psychic and spoonbender didn't manage to forecast that it would be pashing it down with rain so it had to be cancelled. I say give Sian Lloyd a spoon and see if she can bend it as she is able to forecast the weather better
2002-10-24 08:55:21 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-24 09:08:44 AM  
Maybe he should team up with the Amazing Kreskin.

[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-24 09:39:48 AM  
Psychic powers and a helicopter, eh? I think he should just use a pin.
2002-10-24 09:47:31 AM  
Why didnt they just ask Mel Gibson? He was there I seen it on TV.
2002-10-24 10:33:07 AM  
not to be too pedantic about the headline BUT the battle in Braveheart was fought in Ireland, this is about the actual battle in Falkirk, Scotland, without an Australian/American with an appaling that film was terrible and perpetuated myth and stereotype further than before.

sorry mid afternoon/skive rant must get back to some work.
2002-10-24 10:37:43 AM  
wow.. that headline is just downright random.. who knew uri gellar was a braveheart buff...
2002-10-24 10:58:25 AM  
Dimator, I think the X-files character was the "Stupendous Yappi"...

Has anyone else heard Uri Geller's album? I just bought it... it's so cheesy! You can sample an mp3 from it at

[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-24 11:34:35 AM  
I know where the battlefield is. I watched "The Making of Braveheart." It was filmed in Ireland, and not even Scotland, if I recall. You'll never find it in Hastings, Geller!
Oh, and Mtman900: most of the bacteria on you are reproducing asexually, if that makes you feel any better.
2002-10-24 12:02:40 PM  
"The Battle of Falkirk".
The clue is in the name.
2002-10-24 12:07:06 PM  
2002-10-24 12:45:54 PM  

"He has the lowest Midiclorian count I've seen in a lifeform."
2002-10-24 01:05:05 PM  
That article is total crap. It's a bunch of malarky...

Everyone knows if you want to find something, call Miss Cleo.

2002-10-24 01:52:03 PM  
Maybe Uri Geller is a shyster, maybe he isn't. But I know someone who isn't, who is a friend of Uri Geller's.

I have seen with my own eyes the healing abilities of Matthew Manning. My friend is suffering from terminal cancer and on the recommendation of a friend, made appointments to see Mr Manning and I went along with him to support him. James was pretty sceptical before the first appointment, but as James said to me at the time, when you're suffering from terminal cancer, you'll try anything to slow the cancer down.

James said that during the actual laying on of hands, he could feel something like a thick needle poking into his neck tumour and was amazed afterwards to discover he wasn't bleeding. I sat and observed Mr Manning's hands at all times during the appointment, and at no time was there anything in his hands other than the remote control for the CD player. In the sessions since, James' neck tumour has shrunk drastically and remained at it's current manageable size. We're looking forward to Christmas which, at the time of his terminal diagnosis in May, seemed very distant.

I'm not asking you to believe me, but consider this. Maybe there's more things in heaven and earth than which we can see with our own eyes...
2002-10-24 05:49:14 PM  
This is utter crap! What a farking fake.
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