Before the sniper attacks, I rarely watched customers pump gas - it's not the most exciting thing to witness and I'm usually too busy eyeing the stoners inside the convenience store, making sure they don't pocket any Funyuns or Doritos. But now the elusive sniper has made gas-pumping more interesting to watch than some idiot trying to interpret the strange substance on his dipstick.

You're not supposed to be peeking in the men's bathroom, ya pervy todger fancier.

But now the elusive sniper has made gas-pumping more interesting to watch than some idiot trying to interpret the strange substance on his dipstick.

i'd shiat my pants if there was a substance on my dipstick i couldn't interpret.

Other stations in the area are implementing security measures, such as hanging large tarps around the pumps or converting to full service.

my thoughts exactly, lets blind his view so his next idea is to take out a gas pump or two and blow up the whole damned block.

Just as long as they ain't the "Funky Chicken", I hate that dance.

The Funky Chicken was good enough for your parent's Wedding Party, and it's good enough for you, dammit.

makes you think of that "staying alive" song.

Firstly- The chicken dance is WAAAAYYY Too overused at wedding receptions (I work as a banquet 'houseperson/server ) and on that same issue NO not dinging the glasses but instead singing a song that includes the word 'love' is NOT as original as you first thought... jsut to inform you all.. not that you care

SECONDLY- the sniper is an asshat, and I can't wait till the police finalyl catch him (which HOPEFULLY will be soon)

THIRDLY- Whoa.. first person to use the word 'asshat' in a comments section that includes the sniper.. thats almost as up there as the f.irst p.ost

is an asshat a hat that goes over your ass?
or is it a hat shaped like an ass?

Ha GIS for dipstick..Ol English cracks me up..

The thing about the guy with the white van is familiar. In Baton Rouge we have the evil lady murderer and his small white pickup with a beat up tailgate and a blackpainted bumper. I drive a small white pickup like hundreds of other people. some crack addict stole my tailgate for two rocks a couple of months back too. Now everybody slows down and checks me out everywhere I go. Normally this wouldn't be so bad, but I remember that this is Louisiana and quickly scan for firearms before taking evasive action. Any suggestions? Somehow I don't think writing: "I didn't do it." on the back is going to help. Also I am pissed because I got that little darwin fish by mail-order. I hate this school; my bike was stolen about 50 yards away from where they struck previously. Crackheads make being a communist annoying.

"Aware of the stares, he pleaded his innocence, pointing to the police-issued orange sticker on his rear door as proof that he was not there to stake out his next victim."

What's this orange sticker all about?

Superion-X: What's this orange sticker all about?

Ever watch those Discovery Channel shows where they shoot a grizzly in the ass with a tranquilizer dart, then staple a tag to its ear so they can keep track of it?

Same idea. Only without the tranq dart. Usually.

I better get the exaust on my car replaced. It could give a few people a heart attack when I slow down...putt...putt.*boom!*

Having a sick, distorted sense of humor and a questionable grasp on reality... I found the article kinda interesting.

Im just a dancing machine.

I'm still waiting for the Winos to show up at the stations and offer to pump your gas for a buck, even they should have figured your odds of being shot are still less than hitting the Lotto.

I live in the area where the majority of the shootings have taken place. Now when I am out pumping gas I don't do the "sniper shuffle", I do the "Ethopian shim-sham sand dance".

Just do the bunny hop. Perfect protection from ANY sniper!

wooo 2 posts in a row to incorectly use a semicolon. Capital!

I prefer to use colons when I type, Apex. They make me think of you.

Baby, oh baby, boogaloo down Broadway, funky Broadway.

Awesome, a huge freakin article all about the exciting event known as pumping your gas! I wish I could read more about pumping gas, perhaps I'll check out my local library. I like the unique perspective that 'everyone is an idiot but him'. Hope you enjoy working in that gas station pal, judging by your writing you better get used to it. Christ, I want the last 10 minutes of my life back. Hell, I'd probably just blow it anyhow...

Working at a gas station for minimum wage? What a loser.

To steal a phrase from the Sarge in "Halo"--'Im too pretty to die!' Plus, I live 7,000 miles away from DC now. But I used to live there and Im panicking in support over here drinking my wine in Italy.

Look at this persons idea about gas stations and snipers Clicky this

Having finished filling up they jump into their cars in relief and light up a smoke now they are safe.

Or not. 120 people will die in the US just TODAY from road traffic accidents, and 1,100 people will die TODAY from smoking.

If the sniper walked through a city with a machine gun he wouldn't even come close.

I don't understand the paranoia around this guy. Maybe somebody can explain it to me.

The_3rd_Man Where do you live?

Anti_Freak_Machine

Actully I think his opinion DOES matter, in fact I think this guy's observations are one of the best accounts of the 'sniper effect' I've read.

It's all about perspective, the rest of the media is telling you "ZIG! ZAG! FEAR! FEAR! SENSATIONALIZE!" and then they provide one modest account that takes a step back, and realizes something along the lines of "You are all making fools of yourself".

I think there needs to be more accounts of people poking fun and those that are buying into the hysteria.

Yes it sucks, yes there is a very, very, very slim chance you could die, no that does not mean you should let your life be ruled by it. That is just foolish.

Shucking an Jiving at the pump will only serve to make you look like the fool you are are, for not being reasonable about what is happening.

Somehow I don't think writing: "I didn't do it." on the back is going to help.

Actually, it would. Aside from a few thin-skinned Louisana police officers, you'll get more laughs than anything else. People are comforted by finding humor in tragic situations. It's a human flaw. One of our worst, I might add. It leaves us (as human beings) vulnerable to more depth and attacks as well as shows our weaknesses in regards to certain situations.

Captain_Insano "one of our worst"? Is there something wrong with pitch-black humor? :)

"All those dumbshiat customers are so paranoid, its fun to watch 'em cower. Oh - I shiat myself when I busted the coffee machine, and piss my pants when a car backfires, but hey - I'm only human..."

I may be bit off topic, but in regards to the media, I was watching some news show (can't remember which one, cuz they are all the same) after the late local news and the anchor mentioned how the sniper was "so blatantly using the media" a couple of times. I just about shiat a brick. As if shooting a dozen plus people wasn't that bad, but now he is using the media to communicate with the police! That is just so wrong, he has gone too far now!!

Imscared
I hope you're happy. I just spit coffee all over my keyboard. Thats the best thing I've seen today!

I hope you cleaned up your keyboard before you typed that message...=)
seriously, is that just a cliche that people say all the time ("I just spit X all over my keyboard")... or are there really people who load a funny page in their browser, then take a sip of their drink, hold it in their mouth, and then read the page, and find it so funny that they spew their drink >on their keyboard<?
I guess it's just a cliche. Never mind. =)

On topic, I found the article interesting..people are terrible statisticians when it comes to estimating danger (as The_3rd_Man points out) -- yes, 4 of the 13 shootings were at gas stations, but that's 4 gas stations out of thousands and 4 people out of millions.

why are you people knockin the guy who works at a gas station? hes a student, makin money for school. you want him to be a doctor right outa high school? i myself work in a gas station and i know its not an attrative job, but i dont care. i earn money. thats all. what other jobs are students supposed to get. i live in canada and the only thing people dance for at the pumps is to stay warm from all the friggin snow. that and at my station you are unable to pump your gas unless you stand at the pump its self.

Where do you live? - Imscared

I'm a Brit. Maybe its familiarity that gets things into perspective. As a kid I went shopping in London just after the IRA bombs went off each Christmas in London in the hope the crowds would be less (they weren't). My family have never been put off going on holiday to countries that have just had terrorist incidents. Indeed that's when prices are cheapest and security is tightest.

I realise I'll get flamed for this but my theory is that terrorism (ie I mean acts designed to cause terror) on American soil is relatively new to the USA and you haven't got it in perspective yet. The sniper seems to be getting equal press to 9/11. They are universes apart.

If you don't believe me then ask somebody who lives in N.Ireland or Israel for their opinion.

Damn, I'm getting much too serious these days. Maybe it's the booze. Right I'm off to find some trivial link I can make some safe inane comments in.

Imscared - I should have checked out your link before posting.

I love it.