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(CBS News)   Tips to prevent you from being a sniper target (but exposing you to every other crime)   (cbsnews.com) divider line 90
    More: Ironic  
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53 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Oct 2002 at 4:24 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



90 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2002-10-22 05:27:10 PM
But in the dark, you're MUCH more likely to be eaten by a grue. Who the hell cares about the sniper with those odds.
 
2002-10-22 05:31:33 PM
Supahl33t:

For a hacker, you don't even code HTML well.

dammit.. HERE it is!
[img]http://www.magnumresearch.com/images/gun_new.jpg[/img]


Try using real HTML tags, not message-board equivalents.

Oh, and get a better gun -- the Desert Eagle (look here: big gun) jams a lot, and isn't really reliable. When you need it to shoot and it doesn't, it ain't real impressive.

This'll serve you better:

A nice, reliable .45
 
2002-10-22 05:31:51 PM
MrVeach

If you take all 38 years of my life and add up all the hair I've ever had, it won't ammount to that. Also, I have a daughter, and my wife is a brunette with bobbed hair.
 
2002-10-22 05:41:21 PM
Colt 1911 is a nice gun.. but my DE hasnt jammed yet. ;)

And I did use the img tags and they didnt come through... I dunno why..
 
2002-10-22 05:49:58 PM
here's another tip:

Make sure you go out with a lot of friends. The inverse of the number of friends + yourself are directly related to the chances of you being shot. For example..2 friends + 1 (yourself) = 1/3 chance of being shot...
 
2002-10-22 05:53:35 PM
Colt 1911 is a nice gun..

That's actually a Kimber, not a Colt.

They make nice stuff. And I like the slim grips -- fits my hand real well.

but my DE hasnt jammed yet. ;)

Which caliber you got?

Folks at two different ranges have told me they got so many complaints about misfires with the Desert Eagle that they quit having them available to rent. The Baby Eagle was fine, tho'.

And I did use the img tags and they didnt come through... I dunno why..

I don't ask that. Sometimes this site eats tags.
 
2002-10-22 06:05:46 PM
lol.. ya, it happens..

I shoot with a DE .50 - I've heard that it jams, mine doesnt. Just lucky I guess.
 
2002-10-22 06:06:58 PM
They left some tips out...

Travelling by sewer is quite effective. If you must move above ground, do so by running a zig-zag pattern in short dashes to and from cover, while yelling "Serpentine!"

If you need to use, say, an ATM, CBS News recommends popping a smoke grenade for concealment.
 
2002-10-22 06:21:51 PM
"Serpentine, Shel! Serpentine!"
 
2002-10-22 06:22:37 PM
All you gun nutz should go up to DC and try to hunt down the sniper. Make yourselves useful.
 
2002-10-22 06:35:28 PM
I would think running in crowds is safer than by yourself. Chances you will get picked?
 
2002-10-22 06:42:12 PM
All you gun nutz should go up to DC and try to hunt down the sniper. Make yourselves useful.

All idiots who use the phrase "gun nutz" should go back to third grade until they learn to make a coherent argument.

Kuta has yet to advance that far, but the rest of you need to return. It's just down the hall to your left.
 
2002-10-22 06:44:44 PM
THose were pretty stupid.........
 
2002-10-22 06:49:18 PM
If you are home alone, hide under the sofa.
Do not answer the door or the telephone.
Keep all drapes and shutters fully closed.
In an emergency, you may crawl to the bathroom.
Watch the television news continuously, until we tell you it's safe. Trust only our network.
 
2002-10-22 06:53:32 PM
the problem with giving tips on how to not get shot will just make you look like a more reliable target in the first place. If you are zigging and ducking all over the place, you will end up attracting the attention of the human eye. the human eye is attracted to all kinds of movement so just be a nice little sheeple and walk straight lines and get your gas whereever the hell you want to.....the only way to get out of being a target is to travel underground or above ground in an APC....boy am I glad I live 3000 miles away from you nut cases in the big cities!!
 
2002-10-22 06:59:04 PM
Pedantic

what has your gun ever done for you, other than boost your ego?

just curious...
 
2002-10-22 07:09:22 PM
what has your gun ever done for you, other than boost your ego?

Actually, it doesn't boost my ego. I simply enjoy firing it.

I enjoy many things where concentration and skill matter, and I enjoy improving those skills.

just curious...

No, I doubt honest curiosity is on your list. It was a loaded question from the beginning.
 
2002-10-22 07:24:06 PM
it wasn't a loaded question.

so your gun has never done anything for you.
don't fool yourself with that "Actually, it doesn't boost my ego" B.S. changing something from a distance is a machismo thing, similar to the male domination of the remote control.

I suffer from that symptom myself though I'm not pig headed enough to make excusses defending it
 
2002-10-22 07:24:06 PM
They missed a tip: MOVE TO BRITAIN!
 
2002-10-22 07:56:36 PM
I take Pendantic's comment to mean that he enjoys the deep sense of concentration that comes when you are trying to hit a target with a gun or anything ranged. Does the same machismo apply to the archers in the Japanese Imperial House that use Zen to put the arrow on target? I don't see it as much different, when someone is shooting there is definitely a zone of concentration they enter that can be harnessed for other tasks that require intense concentration. If I own a sword, does it mean that the only reason I have it is to kill someone, not because I enjoy using it or looking at it? Swords and guns were made for the same purpose, but they have many other uses too.
 
2002-10-22 08:12:17 PM
I keep waiting for the revelation that these "TIPS" are really a bad prank. Or possibly someone on the CBS site found a humerous Onion list and reposted without thinking.
 
2002-10-22 08:14:23 PM
Just remember one thing. Snipers dont kill people, I do!
 
2002-10-22 09:13:37 PM
The half assed attempt at a flame war on this thread is pathetic. Here are some tips that haven't been brought up. Cut holes through yourself- it will be more likely that the bullet will travel through these holes and miss you. Remove your vital organs, thereby making a kill shot much less likely. Spin in circles everywhere you go, this will allow you to see 360 degrees and before long you should fall on the ground making you a much less convinient target. Last, become a sniper, because what are the odds that the sniper's victim would actually be another sniper. Man that would be weird.
 
2002-10-22 09:23:02 PM
Step 5: Bend over.

Step 6: Kiss your ass goodbye.

And, with apologies and credit to TheRapy,
Step 7: Tremble before the Dragon.
 
2002-10-22 11:39:12 PM
Another Arsehole: To answer your question...

What has a gun ever done for me?

Allowed me to avoid a carjacking one night in Tampa WHEN MY CHILDREN WERE IN THE CAR WITH ME.

There is no counter to this. Don't bother.

A gun is a TOOL. No different and no more dangerous than a hammer, or a computer, or a car. All have a specific use, all can be used to help OR harm others. If this guy was running people down with his Caddy Escalade (a MUCH more likely occurrence than getting tagged by the sniper), would you be saying any of this?

Take your clever attempts to 'trap' a gun nut into saying..."Oh, why NOTHING! Say, I should get rid of my gun!"...and JAM IT.

Make yourself useful. Go see A Michael Moore movie, and tell yourself and all your friends how smart and cool you are.

My gun: 1943 Remington Rand 1911A1.

You guys wanna shoot a REAL pistol? Try a Ruger .454 Casull. Makes DE shooters cry and run away.

Love,

Skink
 
2002-10-23 02:46:11 AM
Just remember:"guns dont attract the ladies people"
 
2002-10-23 03:45:42 AM
Not Ironic. MOronic!

Now watch that sniper asshat head for those kinds of places!
 
2002-10-23 03:49:19 AM
Oh and whatever idiot is spouting gun control crap is forgetting one teeny-tiny teensy-weensy little detail:

CRIMINALS DON'T GIVE A FARK ABOUT THE LAW!!!

/rant
 
2002-10-23 10:39:38 AM
my buddy has a .454 - HUGE ASS revolver... kicks like a biatch. BUT - I havent had my .50 DE jam so I'll take that over a casull anysay.

Besides, I bought my DE long before most people knew what they were.
 
2002-10-23 11:09:34 AM
it wasn't a loaded question.

You then go on to show it was, with:

so your gun has never done anything for you.

That's nothing at all like what I said. Several others got it -- you decided to spout off the reply you had in mind, no matter what.

That's the definition of loaded question.

Thanks for playing.

don't fool yourself with that "Actually, it doesn't boost my ego" B.S. changing something from a distance is a machismo thing, similar to the male domination of the remote control.

Quit playing psychologist, and go back to Tinkertoys (tm). They're more your speed.

I'm sorry you have a control fetish and ego problem, but projecting it onto others doesn't solve your obvious problems.

I suffer from that symptom myself though I'm not pig headed enough to make excusses defending it

No, your defense mechanism is pretending that everyone else has the same problem, and you're superior because you "admit" to it.

That's nothing but arrogance in a cheap suit. Take it elsewhere.

Now, please go back and learn something. The rest of us will appreciate it.
 
2002-10-23 11:14:04 AM
I was desperately hoping that this link was a prank. Nope, you can get to it straight from the cbsnews.com front page. Source was AP? Next question is: who sent this item to the AP?

Dear Lord, let this be a bad joke somewhere along the line. I'd hate to find out that reporters really are as stupid as I've thought in the past.
 
2002-10-23 11:18:42 AM
Wait. If it is a prank, then there is a long line of incredibly stupid from whoever catches the AP feed, to whoever decides what items get published, to the person or persons who actually put items on the site.

No wonder I feel better informed from fark than from the news. That's kinda sad.
 
2002-10-23 11:19:32 AM
... that would be "incredibly stupid people" ...

/me hangs his head in shame and incredible stupidity
 
2002-10-23 02:25:16 PM
wow, sorry I missed that...

you gun freaks are always willing to prove yourselves to be bigger morons than the norm.

here I am making arguements which have been spouted thousands of times before, to no successful end & your still willing to bother answering them, with no real come backs, just personal attacks & your own lame attempts at "playing psychologist"

your as bad as scientologists

dont feed the trolls
 
2002-10-23 02:34:42 PM
you gun freaks are always willing to prove yourselves to be bigger morons than the norm.

You're always willing to prove you're an idiot with personal shots.

here I am making arguements

Spouting nonsense != making arguments

which have been spouted thousands of times before, to no successful end

Actually, the crap you spout has been used as the basis of many of our moronic laws in this area.

You're just massively uninformed. That isn't news.

& your still willing to bother answering them, with no real come backs,

Thus do the clueless ignore the fact that their "arguments" have been ripped to shreds.

just personal attacks

You give, you get. Simple as that.

& your own lame attempts at "playing psychologist"

Ibid.

Guess you don't like the game when you're beaten at it. Too bad.

dont feed the trolls

Ah, the last refuge of the Internet incompetent: "I was only trolling."

Go wake your parents now and tell them you've been a bad boy for using their net connection again. Then have your cookies and milk and lay down for a nap.

The adults are tired of your whinging.
 
2002-10-23 02:38:21 PM
wow your a dog with a bone when you get riled
 
2002-10-23 03:19:53 PM
You're always willing to prove you're an idiot with personal shots.

well you were the catalyst for the personal shots, anyone that dosn't agree with you is apparently uneducated... way to look stupid there smart guy

Spouting nonsense != making arguments

true, I have never put alot of thought into any spout of nonsence here.

Actually, the crap you spout has been used as the basis of many of our moronic laws in this area.

You're just massively uninformed. That isn't news.


wow thats cool, I can think of stupid laws the same as politicians can. I hear they get payed pretty good, thanks for bringing this avenue of employment to my attention.


Thus do the clueless ignore the fact that their "arguments" have been ripped to shreds.


when did that happen, I must have missed the ripping to shreds part what with all the insults & jerking off over what kind of gun was less likely to jam

Ibid.

Guess you don't like the game when you're beaten at it. Too bad.


again I missed that, what ground breaking insights did you give to the human psyche. not claiming I did but you really havn't done anything but try to build yourself up at the expense of others.

Ah, the last refuge of the Internet incompetent: "I was only trolling."

Go wake your parents now and tell them you've been a bad boy for using their net connection again. Then have your cookies and milk and lay down for a nap.

The adults are tired of your whinging.


for what originated from such a blatant flamebait, (which you seemed perfectly able to pick up on in your original responce to me) I am amazed that someone so competent with the internet would bother continuing this thread

thanks for entertaining me.

HUGS HAND
 
2002-10-23 03:25:59 PM
And the arsehole has to reply *twice*.

Here's a hint: trolls don't outpost the people they supposedly "caught".

All I'm doing is keeping a dead thread alive to watch you make more of an ass of yourself. And you'll reply, because you can't not reply.

Have fun. You're not so much entertaining as you are a lab experiment.

HUGS HAND

And tell your date "Hi" from me, too.
 
2002-10-23 10:29:20 PM
And the judges come back with a 24 to 7 ruling in favor of:

Padantic.
 
2002-10-23 10:30:04 PM
The end.
 
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