If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NYPost)   Stick a forklift in him, he's done   (nypost.com) divider line 115
    More: Sad  
•       •       •

25227 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2008 at 11:06 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



115 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2008-01-20 11:48:34 PM  
Norad: Someone needs to make a forklift driving video game. Start it out with simple shiat like stacking pallets, then graduate to unloading a truck with fragile cargo and stacking it on unsteady warehouse racks.

I'd buy the shiat out of that game.


Traditionally menial labor job videogames rarely sell well, I mean I have a sweet grocery store shelf-stocking game and that one where you build barns with the Amish...

/Sadly, I'd probably play the forklift game too
//Rewards could be 15 minute union breaks, drinking at the local dive bar and wife beating.
 
2008-01-20 11:51:20 PM  
JQPublic: Kyosuke: The article headline is unintentionally funny.

FATALITY

At least Darwin got him early.

Yeah, cuz everyone who dies in an accident has got it coming, right?


/douchebag.


THIS.

Sorry, I know it's just one of those "Fark things,"
but I'm getting so sick of seeing Darwin references in response to EVERY fatal injury/accident-related story....as if it's always the victim's fault, because s/he is obviously inferior to the rest of the species.

*sigh*
but I don't know why I try to use reason here...
this is a FARK thread we're talking about.


ScubaDude1960: I thought it would be a story about the death of some super-fat guy.

Actually, I was hoping for that, too. I'd pictured something like this:
www.movie-montage.com


...except the guy'd be impaled on a forklift,
and bright pink,
roasting over a fire
(that was possibly started by the forklift accident??)
and slathered with some honey-based glaze.



what?
my imagination is just as farked up as the rest of you farkers.

...but seriously, I was disappointed when I read TFA. how sad. :-(
 
2008-01-20 11:51:52 PM  
Norad: Someone needs to make a forklift driving video game. Start it out with simple shiat like stacking pallets, then graduate to unloading a truck with fragile cargo and stacking it on unsteady warehouse racks.

I'd buy the shiat out of that game.


Yep, Shenmue.
 
2008-01-20 11:52:43 PM  
I've been driving these since I'm 17. Standup ,ride on, etc. I almost flipped one like this kid did, it was my first year driving them. It had a propane tank on the back,so if the crash didn't kill me, the explosion probably would have.

/Weighed enough to shift my weight and make it stay upright
//kids under 20 should not use hilos, too much fun, and you get stupid courage after awhile
 
2008-01-20 11:53:34 PM  
d23 2008-01-20 06:44:00 PM

♫ "He tried to kill me with a forklift" ♫
 
2008-01-20 11:53:46 PM  
phillydrifter: Lawsuit time, because you can capitalize on your kid's stupidity in this country.

Pretty much. This kid should be happy... his stupidity has made his family rich, biatch!
 
2008-01-20 11:54:23 PM  
Should be happy in purgatory, or wherever he went.
 
2008-01-20 11:55:46 PM  
You know what I want to see? A forklift lifting a ton of forks. It'd be so god-damned literal!

/probably butchered it
 
2008-01-20 11:56:52 PM  
DARWIN...i guess the kids joyride ended early.

A 13yr old should have known better. It takes some trying to flip one of those things...i know,i've driven them.
 
2008-01-20 11:57:38 PM  
CaineTheLongshot: I came for the Fugitive Alien references and was not disappointed...

As did I. Coincidentally, I'm watching MST3K's Fugitive Alien 2 right now...

/Long live the Digital Archive Project
 
2008-01-20 11:59:09 PM  
He tried to kill me with a forklift

Now with youtube goodness.
/swear it's not a Rick Roll
 
2008-01-21 12:00:40 AM  
That place is just a few blocks from my apartment- I'm amazed that there are so few accidents, given how many forklifts and other machines are busy loading trucks curbside on a very busy road with lots of heavy trucks, 3 bus lines and a fair dose of commuter traffic zipping past. Sometimes you see the fork drivers leaning through a u-turn to get clear of a speeding city bus. Very chaotic traffic environment, even if you are good at driving a fork.
 
2008-01-21 12:00:51 AM  
embrodak_luvs_strongbad:
JQPublic


The little farktard took a vehicle he knew nothing about on a joyride. How didn't he deserve it?
 
2008-01-21 12:01:37 AM  
jonthenewt: Well, I hope he got crushed immediately and didn't suffer...Coulda been worse...

My brother in Iraq, his squad got hit with an IED the other day. One of the guys in his group was trapped under his overturned truck and burned to death. As if that wasn't shiatty enough, they all wear comm. systems, and his was stuck in the on position as he was consumed by the flames. So yeah, my brother and the entire unit had to listen to this guy screaming as he slowly burned to death, as they tried in vain to flip the truck and get him.

I hope he comes back home alive first off... and second, I hope he's not entirely farked up from all the shiat he's been through. He's only 20


I hope he comes back alive too, and hope he's wise enough to not put himself in that position again.
 
2008-01-21 12:02:38 AM  
peterstork670: FINISH HIM

Well, its not Liu Kang's Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 "Drop a Mortal Kombat arcade game machine on your opponent" Fatality, but its not bad.

/actually, its quite sad.
 
2008-01-21 12:04:44 AM  
JQPublic: Yeah, cuz everyone who dies in an accident has got it coming, right...douchebag.

Really? Since when have you demonstrated compassion for anybody?
 
eno
2008-01-21 12:06:06 AM  
Dialectic: Mofo got darwined!

mofo? the 13 year old dead boy?

you sick fark. trust that the filters changed the word. I meant what i typed.
 
2008-01-21 12:07:43 AM  
ScubaDude1960: I thought it would be a story about the death of some super-fat guy.

Same here. Like, he died, and he was so fat, they had to forklift his body out.
 
2008-01-21 12:08:34 AM  
JQPublic: Kyosuke: The article headline is unintentionally funny.

FATALITY

At least Darwin got him early.

Yeah, cuz everyone who dies in an accident has got it coming, right?

/douchebag


The kid deserved it. This wasn't a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, the kid caused the accident.
 
2008-01-21 12:09:08 AM  
Oh_Enough_Already: jonthenewt: Well, I hope he got crushed immediately and didn't suffer...Coulda been worse...

My brother in Iraq, his squad got hit with an IED the other day. One of the guys in his group was trapped under his overturned truck and burned to death. As if that wasn't shiatty enough, they all wear comm. systems, and his was stuck in the on position as he was consumed by the flames. So yeah, my brother and the entire unit had to listen to this guy screaming as he slowly burned to death, as they tried in vain to flip the truck and get him.

I hope he comes back home alive first off... and second, I hope he's not entirely farked up from all the shiat he's been through. He's only 20

That's horrible and awful and sad as hell but, on the other hand, Darwin wise, why in the sweet holy fark would your brother (or anybody) join the Army these days?

On that score, any trauma your brother suffers (and I certainly hope he comes home alive but there's no guarentee he will) is, ultimately, his own fault for being dumb enough to join in the first place.


1.5/10. I've seen more provocation from Mormon missionaries on Quaaludes.
 
2008-01-21 12:13:14 AM  
Carousel Beast: embrodak_luvs_strongbad:
JQPublic

The little farktard took a vehicle he knew nothing about on a joyride. How didn't he deserve it?



Okay, I will admit that the kid should NOT have been dicking around with that kind of equipment--obviously not knowing how to properly operate it, not recognizing the hazard involved--and that is largely responsible for his own undoing...

however,

I don't agree that he deserved it.
he was only 13--how many 13 year olds execute perfect judgement 100% of the time? Maybe his father should have kept him away from that stuff, told him not to touch anything, etc...or maybe his parents should have taught him a little better not to fark with shiat like that...

either way, it's still farking SAD, for cryin' out loud.
 
2008-01-21 12:18:30 AM  
FORKLIFT FATALITY would be an awesome metal band name.

/just sayin'
 
2008-01-21 12:19:51 AM  
Norad: Someone needs to make a forklift driving video game. Start it out with simple shiat like stacking pallets, then graduate to unloading a truck with fragile cargo and stacking it on unsteady warehouse racks.

I'd buy the shiat out of that game.


I LOL'd
 
2008-01-21 12:20:02 AM  
I just came for the Rocky & Ken refs. Glad to know my fellow farkers didn't let me down.
/nerdette
/drunk nerdette
 
2008-01-21 12:20:58 AM  
That is sad.

And the "he deserved it" comments are farking stupid.
 
2008-01-21 12:21:06 AM  
jonthenewt: Well, I hope he got crushed immediately and didn't suffer...Coulda been worse...

My brother in Iraq, his squad got hit with an IED the other day. One of the guys in his group was trapped under his overturned truck and burned to death. As if that wasn't shiatty enough, they all wear comm. systems, and his was stuck in the on position as he was consumed by the flames. So yeah, my brother and the entire unit had to listen to this guy screaming as he slowly burned to death, as they tried in vain to flip the truck and get him.

I hope he comes back home alive first off... and second, I hope he's not entirely farked up from all the shiat he's been through. He's only 20



That IS some farked up shiat, dude....My ex brother-in-law, plus a lot of other people I've heard of, have tons of stories like that from their "tours of duty" (har har)...

none of us (us or the innocent civilians over there) deserve this. it's so farking pointless...a senseless waste of life.

I hope your brother makes it back in one piece (mentally and physically), newt.



So, on that note...

Do we blame our brave "heroes" in Iraq for their fatalities and injuries?
Do we greet the news of a fallen soldier with a snarky comment like, "Darw-owned LOL! the dumbass shoulda never joined the army anyway" or "stupid farker got what he had comin'...practically just asked them towel-heads to blow 'em up." ??


/food for thought
//hmm?
 
2008-01-21 12:23:30 AM  
 
2008-01-21 12:27:52 AM  
JQPublic: Kyosuke: The article headline is unintentionally funny.

FATALITY

At least Darwin got him early.

Yeah, cuz everyone who dies in an accident has got it coming, right?

/douchebag.


Hardly.

Sometimes when people do STUPID shiat, they die. Fact of life.

Saying that this is Darwin at work and that he deserved it are two entirely different things.
 
2008-01-21 12:32:02 AM  
jogiff: JQPublic: Kyosuke: The article headline is unintentionally funny.

FATALITY

At least Darwin got him early.

Yeah, cuz everyone who dies in an accident has got it coming, right?

/douchebag

The kid deserved it. This wasn't a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, the kid caused the accident.


There's no such thing as an accident, as the person who left the keys in will shortly find out.
 
2008-01-21 12:32:39 AM  
I am shocked, SHOCKED, that nobody has referenced that actor guy getting killed by a forklift in that one Metalocalypse episode yet.
 
2008-01-21 12:43:30 AM  
Oh_Enough_Already:
That's horrible and awful and sad as hell but, on the other hand, Darwin wise, why in the sweet holy fark would your brother (or anybody) join the Army these days?

On that score, any trauma your brother suffers (and I certainly hope he comes home alive but there's no guarentee he will) is, ultimately, his own fault for being dumb enough to join in the first place.


Yeah, he knows he's stupid for joining...Right now, he wants nothing more than to get out of there and get out of the army as soon as he can.

It was partly his own stupidity for joining, and partly the pressure from our father, who is a retired Lt. Col. career military type who embedded in us the thought that in order to be a man, you must serve your country, no matter what. I think once my brother got over there, it took less than a month for him to realize exactly what he'd done...
 
2008-01-21 12:48:44 AM  
I can't believe no one has mentioned that GTA: San Andreas has a couple forklift missions involving picking up pallets and loading trucks (and getting out and shooting guys occasionally). They were pretty fun.
 
2008-01-21 12:55:18 AM  
This story makes me not want to do donuts in my forklift/cherry picker at full elevation again.

Too bad its in my blood.
 
2008-01-21 12:55:55 AM  
embrodak_luvs_strongbad:
That IS some farked up shiat, dude....My ex brother-in-law, plus a lot of other people I've heard of, have tons of stories like that from their "tours of duty" (har har)...

none of us (us or the innocent civilians over there) deserve this. it's so farking pointless...a senseless waste of life.


Couldn't agree more.

I hope your brother makes it back in one piece (mentally and physically), newt.

Thanks man, me too...I'm sure he'll be fine. He's home in Feb. But because no one is stupid enough to join the army now, and he's stuck in it for the next 5 years or he's a deserter, I'm sure he'll have to go back. He'll be paying for this mistake for a while...I just hope it doesn't cost his life. If it does, I'm going to personally kick G. Bush in the nuts.
 
2008-01-21 12:59:19 AM  
Hrcka' way to die there pal.
 
2008-01-21 01:00:16 AM  
This also makes the "safety meetings" at my warehouse where we all just get together and hit the bong a little more silly than witty.
 
2008-01-21 01:00:55 AM  
This is why you always start kids off on a sporklift.
 
2008-01-21 01:12:25 AM  
"Do we blame our brave "heroes" in Iraq for their fatalities and injuries?"

Of course not, you blame the ones who bear false witness to put them in danger.
Dubya and all his lil gang....

PS: before someone brings it up, from thesaurus.reference.com
"bear is to hold up, support, transport - or an animal"
 
2008-01-21 01:20:08 AM  
burrgrinder: I was hoping for a forklift impalement story, instead I get a heavy vehicle flips over story.

/sad


Same. I know a guy who got impaled by a forklift. He got addicted to pain pills, became a drug dealer, and he wears sweatpants, moccasins, and a cowboy hat all over town now.
 
2008-01-21 01:27:14 AM  
A 13-year-old does not have the mental faculties or judgement of an adult. Neither do most Farkers: perfect angels who sat still and listened intently in class, getting straight A's, captained the football team and never making any mistakes. This is why you are all boring and have to resort to LOL DARWIN'D!!111! comments to get other people to notice you.
 
2008-01-21 01:31:47 AM  
zagadka: Props on getting a 2.5 ton forklift to completely flip over

no, those things aren't exactly the sturdiest pieces of equipment. it's incredibly easy to topple a forklift, especially if you've got the forks up.
 
2008-01-21 01:34:47 AM  
I was sad, and then I realized that he was old enough to know better and he could have killed someone else who was innocently minding their own business. Then I thought: "HAW!"
 
2008-01-21 01:42:08 AM  
I lol'd
 
2008-01-21 01:54:20 AM  
Kurmudgeon: "Do we blame our brave "heroes" in Iraq for their fatalities and injuries?"

Of course not, you blame the ones who bear false witness to put them in danger.
Dubya and all his lil gang....

PS: before someone brings it up, from thesaurus.reference.com
"bear is to hold up, support, transport - or an animal"



I heartily agree.

I just wondered how many farkers would claim that military service (fulfilling your patriotic duty!) provides an exemption from being DARWIN'D!! ...or some shiat...like the United States Military is some untouchable sacred cow.
*eye roll*


/my HS/hometown was at least 50% young, manipulated and miseld poor folk
//and 49% were white, lower-middle class blind patriots and "proper" Christian Americans
///the remaining 1% or so was a mix of other races, intelligent people with a wider world view, and dissenters like myself

////Dubya and the rest of his lying, scum-sucking gang of fools can just DIAF.
 
2008-01-21 02:02:44 AM  
Oh_Enough_Already:...

In this war - which was an obvious lie from moment one - anybody who joined up after it started doesn't deserve any sympathy really for whatever fate befalls them any more so than would somebody who peed on a wire that said "DANGER!! HIGH VOLTAGE!!!"

These folks were essentially "Darw-owned LOL" the moment they entered the recruiting office.

I'd have to question the sanity of anybody who enlisted any time after we invaded Iraq.

/And feel sorry for them for being so easily manipulated by patriotic jingosim that they were willing to sacrafice their very lives simply so that people who couldn't care less about them or their families could make more $$$.



oh, I do agree...

again, I don't think any of them deserve/d to be killed, and the DARWIN'D references still piss me off....but I also pity those desperate, impressionable minds that feed the war machine.

and I also despise anyone who knowingly and happily takes advantage of those poor suckers, including GW, all the lying bastards in his administration, the people in charge of starting/continuing this war, the entire military-industrial complex, AND the dumbasses who will defend those people and justify this whole farking mess.

...yeah. see previous post.
 
2008-01-21 02:32:20 AM  
moulding god: jogiff: JQPublic: Kyosuke: The article headline is unintentionally funny.

FATALITY

At least Darwin got him early.

Yeah, cuz everyone who dies in an accident has got it coming, right?

/douchebag

The kid deserved it. This wasn't a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, the kid caused the accident.

There's no such thing as an accident, as the person who left the keys in will shortly find out.


Doubt it. It's standard practice in a lot of places to leave the keys in the ignitions.
 
2008-01-21 02:48:26 AM  
supertoad: zagadka: Props on getting a 2.5 ton forklift to completely flip over

no, those things aren't exactly the sturdiest pieces of equipment. it's incredibly easy to topple a forklift, especially if you've got the forks up.


I've seen some pretty crazy bastards driving forklifts, never seen one roll/flip. Never driven one, mind you, due to the German training video. Contrary to what you might think, most of the weight of the lift is located very low, making them difficult to flip.

My guess is this kid drove it off a loading dock or something. He was watching too much Knight Rider.

/KITT is a Mustang? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!
 
2008-01-21 03:28:52 AM  
I'm not shedding any tears over this one. FARK can be an overly cruel place, but he was plenty old enough to know better and could have hurt someone else. Also, this kid's dad should have known the kids was an idiot, and his employer's newly increased insurance premiums should be deducted from his paycheck.
 
2008-01-21 03:35:25 AM  
embrodak_luvs_strongbad: JQPublic: Kyosuke: The article headline is unintentionally funny.

FATALITY

At least Darwin got him early.

Yeah, cuz everyone who dies in an accident has got it coming, right?

/douchebag.

THIS.

Sorry, I know it's just one of those "Fark things,"
but I'm getting so sick of seeing Darwin references in response to EVERY fatal injury/accident-related story....as if it's always the victim's fault, because s/he is obviously inferior to the rest of the species.


No, it was the victim's fault because he hijacked a vehicle he had no idea how to operate.
 
2008-01-21 03:53:22 AM  
it was only a 5000 pound lift? damn that's small, I used to drive an 8000 pounder, and that's pretty much as small as I'd care to drive, it's about the size of a golf cart. Only taller, and with a cast-iron counterweight strapped to its ass.

/also drove a 20000 pound lift too, but that was a huge motherfarker, like the size of a Sherman tank!
//please note that my comparisons are based on size, not weight.
///was suspended once for starting a forklift racing league
////slashies!
 
Displayed 50 of 115 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report