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(   Explosion at winery leaves workers weak bodied with a rich red hue, containing discernible hints of charred debris and strong character best described as dead   ( divider line
    More: Sad  
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5151 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2008 at 1:12 AM (11 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

57 Comments     (+0 »)

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2008-01-17 01:15:46 AM  
2008-01-17 01:16:36 AM  
this story is dead, time to put a cork in it.
2008-01-17 01:17:58 AM  
Subby is going to hell.

And so am I, 'cos that was funny.
2008-01-17 01:19:32 AM  
Ethanol? In MY winery? It's more likely than you think.
2008-01-17 01:20:04 AM  
What will they serve at the funeral?
2008-01-17 01:20:24 AM  
Heroic Poser: What will they serve at the funeral?

Dead arm noble rot?
2008-01-17 01:20:28 AM  
A big +1 to you, Subby.
2008-01-17 01:21:26 AM  
I've decided to write in my will that I want to be blown to bits in my own winery - seems like a good way to die as long as I've downed a good portion of a cask.

Cheers! Kaaablooie!

/RIP, wine guy
2008-01-17 01:21:52 AM  
nice finish subby. golf clap.
2008-01-17 01:24:05 AM  
+1 subby!
/This bus is full
2008-01-17 01:24:58 AM  
Nothing missing but the fava beans.
2008-01-17 01:27:00 AM  
i159.photobucket.comView Full Size
2008-01-17 01:31:30 AM  
Oenophiles. When will they learn?

2008-01-17 01:33:26 AM  
submitter, you wouldn't happen to be The Joker, would you.

That's the evilest headline I've ever read here.

And it's awesome.
2008-01-17 01:34:36 AM  
I'd like to chime in with the amazing headline bunch.
2008-01-17 01:34:52 AM  
[image from too old to be available]

Pours some out for Wine Guy

/+1 Subby
2008-01-17 01:46:19 AM  
A word to the wise. The alcohol fumes in the air are not in your product. So for both your safety and your pocketbook, be careful out there.
2008-01-17 01:50:04 AM  
Madame DeFarge?
2008-01-17 01:51:08 AM  
I feel so terrible for laughing at that headline. I really do.
2008-01-17 01:53:01 AM  
I was thinking that perhaps the character was a bit flat, myself. Possibly the body was a bit murky.
2008-01-17 01:54:19 AM  
I tip my glass of wine to you, Subby.

2008-01-17 01:54:42 AM  
goodnight funnyman.
2008-01-17 02:00:09 AM  
i didnt laugh at the headline but laughed out loud when i imagined the icons of wine making being killed in a wine making explosion.
reminds me of gasoline drinking horse head man's tombstone:
2008-01-17 02:02:00 AM  
Nuances of toast?
2008-01-17 02:06:01 AM  
Just one thing makes me forget this story

[image from too old to be available]
2008-01-17 02:10:43 AM  
Heroic Poser: What will they serve at the funeral?

Dude, that is so wrong. You win.

/ I was drinking wine when I read it.
// Shot out my nose
/// One ticket please.
2008-01-17 02:25:10 AM  
Even though it's early I throw my hat in the ring for this being a Headline of the Year nomination.

/quite drunk
/ not on wine
2008-01-17 02:28:28 AM  
FTA: "His family started winemaking in the 1850s and that certainly makes them one of the real pioneers."

The explosion - heard up to five kilometres away - blew the roof from the winery's main shed and damaged the cellar door, sending up a fireball seen by workers at neighbouring vineyards.

I'm going to take an Ozzy Shot in the Dark here and say that in the process of making wine, typically, absolutely nothing blows up.

Meth lab+winery= everything tastes like ass
2008-01-17 02:46:03 AM  
The least we could do is send a nice bouquet.
2008-01-17 02:55:42 AM  
Dances with beers: The least we could do is send a nice bouquet.


/Screw the bus, I'm DRIVING this train to hell.
2008-01-17 02:58:15 AM  
got nuttin
/sipping some Columbia Crest Chard
2008-01-17 03:00:26 AM  
Its good to finally see some green after having so many red whines this year.

2008-01-17 03:08:10 AM  
"... a wine best known for its taste, as well as its lingering afterburn."
2008-01-17 03:14:45 AM  

img156.imageshack.usView Full Size

Well done.

/"We will sell no wine before its time."
2008-01-17 03:17:08 AM  
The tragic crash of engine 113 cast a dark shadow on the thriving Guasti winery back in 1903. Thirty-two men, all friends of Secundo Guasti, were hard at work in the fields that autumn morning when the locomotive suddenly derailed and took their lives in a twisted fiery wreck. In honor of his fallen friends and their dedication to his families business, Secundo had his workers build a memorial cemetery upon the premises to ensure that he and his family could always be close to their departed loved ones...

......Many years past and Secundo and his family worked harder than ever. Once again the winery thrived. The demand for the Guasti wine was growing fast and so were the fields of grapes. The beautiful cemetery that they had so frequently visited became neglected and was soon consumed by the creeping vines. No one seemed to notice, that is no one except for the dead. The ravenous roots of the vines burrowed deep into the graves disturbing those that longed for eternal rest. That power which the vines awoke was wholly evil, filling the vines with vengeful life. The plants grew fuller, the grapes sweeter, and the wine that they produced was to die for!

......The neighboring communities began to frenzy, thirsting for the Guasti wine. The intoxicating power of the wine soon had control of Secundo and his family, who began to hoard every last drop of the supernatural nectar to satisfy their own unquenchable thirsts. Distribution of Guasti wine to the public was halted spurring a backlash of anger and rebellion. The days that followed were darkened by an onslaught of gruesome murders and crime as the public tried desperately to satisfy their horrific craving for the wine. Every living creature that consumed the fruit roamed through the foothills, transformed, demented, and craving that, which they had been denied!

......Fifty years have passed and the vines have long since diminished. The winery, no longer able to produce the horrid nectar has since shut down and the once proud Guasti family has all but vanished. It seemed as though the creeping evil had been scourged from the land. But a foul wind blows this autumn, awakening those who wish to rest. The vines are returning and the new harvest is upon us. If you ask the locals, they will swear to you that Secundo and his creatures of the night dwell once again within the vineyard, searching and thirsting for their Fruit of the Vine!
2008-01-17 03:23:40 AM  
i232.photobucket.comView Full Size

"Quaffable. But far from transcendent."
2008-01-17 03:56:06 AM  
Nightmaretony: [friggin' awesome wine-related story]

That was really good. Not to be impertinent, but did you write that? If so, I tip my hat to you, sir.

/fellow writer
//by the way, subby...
[image from too old to be available]
2008-01-17 05:22:08 AM  
It's hot where I'm headed. So hot. And hilarious.

/ticket, please
2008-01-17 05:39:24 AM  
That article is full of sour grapes.
Or are they grapes of wrath?
2008-01-17 05:40:57 AM  
Excellent. Gallo laughs from Hell and welcomes the newcomers, screaming "Well that's one for you, and two for me!"

/I love that stuff.
2008-01-17 05:43:39 AM  
Tried not to laugh, but subby is [a cask] full of win.

/I'm worried there won't be a seat left and I'll have to stand all the way.
2008-01-17 06:16:49 AM  
Die_ Ubermensch: Nightmaretony: [friggin' awesome wine-related story]

That was really good. Not to be impertinent, but did you write that? If so, I tip my hat to you, sir.

/fellow writer
//by the way, subby...

Unfortunately, he did not write it. (new window)
2008-01-17 06:24:48 AM  
gmupps: Dances with beers: The least we could do is send a nice bouquet.


/Screw the bus, I'm DRIVING this train to hell.

In this case I think it would be appropriate to take a CAB.
2008-01-17 06:36:55 AM  
The Grapes of Wrath?
2008-01-17 09:04:36 AM  
Admiral Nelson laughs at your vintage.

/yo-ho-ho and a cask of Nelson Rum
//that rum had great body!!
2008-01-17 09:10:21 AM  
win and god

/this thread is made of it
2008-01-17 09:14:57 AM  
filmsite.orgView Full Size

2008-01-17 09:52:43 AM  
Hmmm...vegetabley but fruity...
2008-01-17 10:03:43 AM  
Well just as long as it is red, well you can set 'em up until we're dead...

/ Come for the UB40 and GnR
/ Stay for the Replacements
// Good form, subby.
2008-01-17 10:05:18 AM  
THAT was clever, subby.

+1 and a '73 Bordeaux to you
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