I wish!

I will not trust one word out of this man's mouth after hearing him say that marijuana withdrawl is worse than heroin withdrawl on Celebrity Rehab.

Drew is wrong, Britney has been dead to my eyes since day one.

I like Dr. Drew, and I think he's correct here. I don't like that he's speaking up because he's promoting a show, but as an actual medical doctor, I think he knows what he's talking about.

Now we just need Adam Carolla to weigh in for a half hour on something unrelated.

My opinion, as expert on mastubatory pornography based upon decades more experience at that than Dr. Drew at his profession, is that she is in desperate need of a group orgy sex tape internet release, possibly including some farm animals.

Funny how everybody gives a shiat about Britney while nobody cared about Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison.

In about 50 years, Britney will be as remembered as much as Mary Hopkin.

Uchiha_Cycliste: Only if a giant black man 'heals' her.

Well, he's brownish.

Britney's live, on-air suicide will get the highest ratings for that particular Tuesday night.

I'll say this much for Dr. Drew:

1) He appears to be a better doctor than Adam Corolla.
2) He's right about Britney.

I am also both of these things.

That's 2 Brit threads today.

After the 4 yesterday, we're holding @ 2 per day for 5 days now.

Come on people.. She WAY more important than that...

/not

JrBobDobbs: I will not trust one word out of this man's mouth after hearing him say that marijuana withdrawl is worse than heroin withdrawl on Celebrity Rehab.

The evidence that Dr. Drew is full of shiat just keeps piling up. No pun intended.

We only need one more article to complete the Britney/death trifecta...

"Britney Spears chokes to death on own vomit, crisco"

JrBobDobbs:

I will not trust one word out of this man's mouth after hearing him say that marijuana withdrawl is worse than heroin withdrawl on Celebrity Rehab.

He seriously said that? If so there's no way he's an actual physician.

That's how I felt watching Anna Nichole Smith's show.

She was always wasted, but nobody said a thing about it.

I have a short attention span... so if I'm expected to care, she best hurry up.

Nestea Plunge: Funny how everybody gives a shiat about Britney while nobody cared about Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison.

In about 50 years, Britney will be as remembered as much as Mary Hopkin.

Those were the days

She is being killed by her entourage. She needs good people in her life and she needs rehab. Sycophants will follow her to the grave.

/Personal responsibility if fine if you have all your marbles.

JrBobDobbs: I will not trust one word out of this man's mouth after hearing him say that marijuana withdrawl is worse than heroin withdrawl on Celebrity Rehab.

Watched the show. Didn't hear him say this.

Mary Hopkin. Mary Hopkin.

/Fred Willard FTW!

wowzer97pooh: She is being killed by her entourage. She needs good people in her life and she needs rehab. Sycophants will follow her to the grave.

/Personal responsibility if fine if you have all your marbles.

This

JrBobDobbs: I will not trust one word out of this man's mouth after hearing him say that marijuana withdrawl is worse than heroin withdrawl on Celebrity Rehab.

I believe he's probably referring to the differences between mental/physical withdrawal. Nobody is saying that heroin's less addictive than pot.

She's getting screwed just like Elvis was with the Colonel. If the Colonel wasn't around, Elvis would still be here, and thin.

Well, she's only one year away from the magical rock star age of 27...

JrBobDobbs:

I will not trust one word out of this man's mouth after hearing him say that marijuana withdrawl is worse than heroin withdrawl on Celebrity Rehab.

He said that? Really? He must have been high or something.

I'm sure I've gone through 'marijuana withdrawl' a few times in my life. The worst I felt about it was spending a week or so wishing I could get high on occassion, and maybe not falling asleep as quickly for a few nights. Other than that, I quit thinking about weed for the most part after just a few days.

Dumbass.

Mr. Jingles blogs from Mouseville, FL;

Leaf Brit-knee Uh-loan! K thnx, bye

JrBobDobbs: I will not trust one word out of this man's mouth after hearing him say that marijuana withdrawl is worse than heroin withdrawl on Celebrity Rehab.

What did he mean by "worse"? And unless you or a friend are genetically an addict who's been truly addicted to both substances (not just a "pothead"), how would you know?

CatJumpJohn: I believe he's probably referring to the differences between mental/physical withdrawal. Nobody is saying that heroin's less addictive than pot.

"What did he say? Blessed are the cheesemakers?"

"I think it was more of a metaphor, referring to all makers of dairy products."

:)

No, he flat out said that MJ withdrawal was worse than heroin withdrawal. I think he was trying to build rapport with an MJ user who was having a hard time putting the bong down, though.

Besides the Brian lines above, I'm also reminded of the Bob Saget scene from Half-Baked.

Go 'head on, get it over with then,
Find you a bridge and take a jump.

Grandmaster Poopypants: I'll say this much for Dr. Drew:

1) He appears to be a better doctor than Adam Corolla.
2) He's right about Britney.

I am also both of these things.

Totally. I could give out the same advice that Dr. Drew does, and probably without capitalizing on other people's misery. Does he still have his "hardcore" stance against anal sex on his radio show, or did he have to drop that to help his ratings?

"If I were to treat her, I'd put her in 4-6 weeks of an intensive program in a psychiatric hospital and a year of a residential program very much like what Lindsay Lohan did," he (Dr. Drew) said.

Yes, and we all see how well that's worked for Ms. Lohan.

Treygreen13: uff themselves out of existenc

ohh, cue the internet tough guy persona...

Nestea Plunge: She's getting screwed just like Elvis was with the Colonel. If the Colonel wasn't around, Elvis would still be here, and thin.

Then there's this. I assert that there is no justice in a world where Elvis is dead while Jerry Lee shoots bottles off his fence to this day, or where everyone knows who Ringo is, but you need to specify John Lennon.

I haven't commented in the Britney threads before but I have to say that I do find it sad that she is self-destructing and her family has not (from what I've seen) tried to help her. I'm not up on California law (or any law for that matter) but it has been reported that she has talked about suicide, why hasn't she been institutionalized for her own safety? 20 years ago, my ex-brother in-law was put away by his Mom for this type of behavior and was forced into rehab. It got him off the crack pipe. Can her family or the judge in the custody case intervene?

What did he mean by "worse"? And unless you or a friend are genetically an addict who's been truly addicted to both substances (not just a "pothead"), how would you know?

I honestly have no farking clue why I typed "worse." I had MEANT to type "as bad as" which is what he ACTUALLY said. Some chich is on the rehab show for smoking blunts. Funny, they never mention the fact that the more addictive of the substances in that would be the wrapper.

Anyways, I personally have been addicted to both substances, so I'd like to think that I would know. The physical and psychological withdrawls are far greater from H.

JrBobDobbs: Some chich is on the rehab show for smoking blunts

She openly states that she stays high 24-7 & has lead her to do things she wouldn't, namely pr0n.

Pretty bad.

Pick your poison ~ some are compelled to eat until they weigh 1000 lbs. Some know how to handle their shiat.

Well if Dr. Drew says its so then, yep Britneys dying. I wonder what Adam Carola thinks. Britney should have called love line than all her problems would have been solved.

I'm stuck on 3 greens for several months, now.

From now on, it's Britney, Britney, Britney.

She openly states that she stays high 24-7 & has lead her to do things she wouldn't, namely pr0n.

Yes, but her mother saying she thinks here daughter will die within the YEAR because of it? Come the fark ON...

/I WILL preview before post...
//I WILL preview before post...
///I WILL preview before post...

JrBobDobbs: Anyways, I personally have been addicted to both substances, so I'd like to think that I would know. The physical and psychological withdrawls are far greater from H.

Well, if you truly are an addict with a family history of addiction, and not just someone who got hooked on heroin and also happened to used pot, then I'll defer to your firsthand experience.

He's just using his influence to have a better shot at winning the Playstation 3.

Oh man. Now I want her to live and get better just so all of these television doctors can eat shiat.

Treygreen13: s at the railroad track and gets plo

well, unlike YOU when some of these people leave the world, they take beautiful gifts with them. we don't always personalize about the tragedy of it all as a personal affliction, no one mentions the family's griefs, but rather the loss of the potential gifts of greatness they had to offer the world..

Yankees Team Gynecologist: JrBobDobbs: Anyways, I personally have been addicted to both substances, so I'd like to think that I would know. The physical and psychological withdrawls are far greater from H.

Well, if you truly are an addict with a family history of addiction, and not just someone who got hooked on heroin and also happened to used pot, then I'll defer to your firsthand experience.

what if you are both? what if you just happen to be smart enough to know what to DO and what NOT to do?

do you have any preconceived bias based on that? what sort of life skills are you bringing to the table anyway?

JrBobDobbs: Anyways, I personally have been addicted to both substances, so I'd like to think that I would know. The physical and psychological withdrawls are far greater from H.


Dr. Drew is currently the Medical Director for the Department of Chemical Dependency Services at Las Encinas Hospital in Pasadena (among other things). He's helped many patients through detox and recovery. While you know your personal experience (and I'm sure they all differ to some degree), he knows the experience of many (including success rates, etc.). I'm gonna trust the guy that does it every day.

Aren't we all, Doc?

I think he's right.

I think that drugs have done good things for us. I do. If you don't think that drugs have done good things, then I want you to go home, take all your CDs and all your Albums and cassettes and burn 'em.

Because all of them artists that made all that great music that enhanced our lives throughout the years......rrrrrrrrrreeeeeaal farking high on drugs.
\

\ilove britney
\\i love britney.

Mr. Xhin

That will be a close one, especially if it's up against American Idol :)

Yankees Team Gynecologist: JrBobDobbs: I will not trust one word out of this man's mouth after hearing him say that marijuana withdrawl is worse than heroin withdrawl on Celebrity Rehab.

What did he mean by "worse"? And unless you or a friend are genetically an addict who's been truly addicted to both substances (not just a "pothead"), how would you know?

What if you spent a few years medicating and treating both? What if you know that there are specific protocols like subutex, methadone, rapid detoxing for opiates (like heroin), while there is no specific medical protocol for treating "marijuana" addiction. What if you understand the biology behind the addictions (such as the physiological changes that occur at a molecular level with opiate addiction versus no phsyiological addictive mechanism for cannaboids.)? What if you understand the differences between the terms "addiction" and "dependence"? No, I guess we should take some jonesing pothead's word over that of an objective observer who has seen vomiting, diaphoresis, tachhycardia, cramps, etc in opiate withdrawal, yet no farking physiological symptoms beyond a bit of insomnia and crankiness in marijuana dependence. Trust me, I know... That you really sound pretty stupid when making biased and incorrect determinations on who is and isn't qualified to speak on withdrawal symptoms.

I wish I were her friend. I don't give a shiat about the money and fame, people like her just can't see how toxic the people around her are. They are in it for a free ride and will ride her to the grave.

Hmm, I wanna see celebrity rehab.

Nestea Plunge: Funny how everybody gives a shiat about Britney while nobody cared about Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison.

In about 50 years, Britney will be as remembered as much as Mary Hopkin.

Are you seriously comparing her situation to the situation of people who died over 30 years ago? The internet alone (not to mention cable television, and an expanded celeb culture) is responsible for seeing how many people care. Mass communication = mass awareness

Suicidal Writer: Are you seriously comparing her situation to the situation of people who died over 30 years ago? The internet alone (not to mention cable television, and an expanded celeb culture) is responsible for seeing how many people care. Mass communication = mass awareness

Tempered with short attention spa...hey, a bunny!

Fark U: what if you are both?

Then you qualify as the former. That should've been clear, unless you lack basic logic skills.

do you have any preconceived bias based on that? what sort of life skills are you bringing to the table anyway?

I am not an addict, but I know several addicts very well.

Bender The Offender: What if you spent a few years medicating and treating both? What if you know that there are specific protocols like subutex, methadone, rapid detoxing for opiates (like heroin), while there is no specific medical protocol for treating "marijuana" addiction. What if you understand the biology behind the addictions (such as the physiological changes that occur at a molecular level with opiate addiction versus no phsyiological addictive mechanism for cannaboids.)? What if you understand the differences between the terms "addiction" and "dependence"?

Then you're still 10+ years short of Dr. Drew.

JrBobDobbs: I will not trust one word out of this man's mouth after hearing him say that marijuana withdrawl is worse than heroin withdrawl on Celebrity Rehab.

You are mischaracterizing his position (I watched the first episode). He has been speaking about the issue for a long time.


...

GUPTA: Let's get to another e-mail on topic here. Tracy from Texas wants to know, "How addictive is marijuana when compared to heroin? How about when compared to tobacco and alcohol?"

Dr. Pinsky, marijuana's the most commonly used illegal drug.

PINSKY: Yes.

GUPTA: And there's a perception that it's not dangerous and not really addictive.

PINSKY: Right.

GUPTA: What's the comparison?

PINSKY: Let me -- I'm -- it would take too long, I think, to compare to each of those drugs. The fact it is addictive. And it seems to be an opioid mechanism, very much like heroin, very much like the Percocet you just had in the previous piece.

GUPTA: Right.

PINSKY: And the marijuana, I should go through the syndrome, because it's the same in all people. It's someone with a family history of alcoholism about 85 percent of the time, who initially doesn't think much of pot, but somewhere on the third or fourth exposure, as though there's some priming effect on the brain, they suddenly get this intense euphoria. Oh my God, I love this stuff. And that is what they preoccupy about.

From that day forth, they will use every day for somewhere between one and 30 years. During that time, the effects will wear off. They'll start getting depressed. They'll smoke more to try to compensate. And they'll slip into a depression.

At that point, they either come to treatment or they switch to another drug. Typically, amphetamine.

GUPTA: That is remarkable.

PINSKY: And amphetamine reverses the depression. So most of my amphetamine addicts and nearly all are actually marijuana addicts for whom the marijuana stopped working.

GUPTA: Initially they were marijuana addicts and now amphetamine. Really interesting stuff. We're talking with Dr. Drew Pinsky.

Coming up, drugs and alcohol not a problem. What about food and gambling? Stay tuned to HOUSECALL for help.


CNN (new window)

I guess we didn't get enough Britney Shiat yesterday.

Really, another greenlight for Britney.

Fark you mods, fark you

I actually kinda like Dr. Dew, but i gotta say teh orange one sucks. Code Red and the original Green/yellow are the only way to go. Didn't they make a purple/grape one too at one point?

secularsage: I like Dr. Drew, and I think he's correct here. I don't like that he's speaking up because he's promoting a show, but as an actual medical doctor, I think he knows what he's talking about.

Now we just need Adam Carolla to weigh in for a half hour on something unrelated.on how much he masturbates.

FTFY.

Between Dr. Drew trying to provide some semblance of medical advice against Adam's inane rambling in the most nasal of all Annoying Voices, all the while fielding the most ignorant calls imaginable from kids who should read a farking book before farking in the first place (e.g., "Dr Drew, I had unprotected anal sex with this girl who I found out later had anal sex with four other guys. Should I get tested for AIDS?"), I'm amazed the show is still on the air.

/Would still take Dr. Drew's advice over Dr. PFhail's any day.
//Britney dead by March 2008
///What's the over/under?
////Can we get a positive HIV test for Paris and a coke OD on Lindsay for the trifecta?

Yankees Team Gynecologist:
Bender The Offender: What if you spent a few years medicating and treating both? What if you know that there are specific protocols like subutex, methadone, rapid detoxing for opiates (like heroin), while there is no specific medical protocol for treating "marijuana" addiction. What if you understand the biology behind the addictions (such as the physiological changes that occur at a molecular level with opiate addiction versus no phsyiological addictive mechanism for cannaboids.)? What if you understand the differences between the terms "addiction" and "dependence"?

Then you're still 10+ years short of Dr. Drew.

Ask your addict buddies how much time the doctor spends with them. Ask your addict buddies how many hours a day a doctor was even in the facility. I like how you ignore everything but the number of years. So I take it you concede you have absolutely no clue about the physiology behind addiction and dependence and were just talking out of your ass? Great! glad we could clear that up. For the record, any doctor that claims marijuana "withdrawal" (hey, ask Dr. Drew how many insurance companies pay for marijuana detox... The answer would be ZERO) is comparable to opiate withdrawal is a quack. Hey, maybe you can cite Dr. Phil as your next expert.

Britney Spears, ma'am - like the weapon only spelt the same way.

I heard that asshole talking on his radio show one night denying the medical benefits of marijuana. What a doooooooooooSH.

mandyer: We only need one more article to complete the Britney/death trifecta...

"Britney Spears chokes to death on own vomit, crisco"

But we dont know who's vomit, because you cant, you know, dust for vomit.

Ok so here's the plan.... We gather up everyone and vomit into a "collective" vomit bucket.

Then we vomit board her.

She won't die, just simulate drowning in vomit. Then she will know what she has put us through.

/Too far?

Treygreen13: Wasn't Dr. Drew just calling Dr. Phil a media whore for capitalizing on Britney?

How is someone a media whore for answering an interview?
And ya, I agree with him. I think he gives out too many prescriptions, but I still think he's smarter than anyone in this thread who's being armchair doctors.

The only thing missing from this are some long telephoto lens pics of her running around nekkid someplace.

This used to be funny but now it's just kinda pathetic.

LonMead: "If I were to treat her, I'd put her in 4-6 weeks of an intensive program in a psychiatric hospital and a year of a residential program very much like what Lindsay Lohan did," he (Dr. Drew) said.

WTF? Lindsey Lohan didn't do a year anywhere, and she's not still in a residential program, because that's saying that she lives at the place. And she did time at a rehab facility, which is nothing like a real "psychiatric hospital." Especially the high-dollar places she pranced into.

And being addicted and needing to get off the shiat, plus getting some counseling, is nothing like the help you need when you're completely batshiat crazy.

I've never even heard of this guy, but you've convinced me--he's a moron.

cryinoutloud: I've never even heard of this guy, but you've convinced me--he's a moron.


Credentials
* BA Amherst College
* MD University of Southern California, *Keck School of Medicine of USC
* Residency Internal Medicine, *Huntington Memorial Hospital, *USC Affiliate
* Chief Resident Internal Medicine, *Huntington Memorial Hospital
* Board Certified Internal Medicine, *American Board of Internal Medicine
* Board Certified Addiction Medicine, *American Society of Addiction Medicine
* Member of American College of Physicians

Current Positions

* Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, *Keck School of Medicine of USC
* Medical Director of the Department of Chemical Dependency Services, *Las Encinas Hospital
* Active Staff Huntington Memorial Hospital


You're probably right.

Bender The Offender: Ask your addict buddies how much time the doctor spends with them. Ask your addict buddies how many hours a day a doctor was even in the facility. I like how you ignore everything but the number of years. So I take it you concede you have absolutely no clue about the physiology behind addiction and dependence and were just talking out of your ass? Great! glad we could clear that up. For the record, any doctor that claims marijuana "withdrawal" (hey, ask Dr. Drew how many insurance companies pay for marijuana detox... The answer would be ZERO) is comparable to opiate withdrawal is a quack. Hey, maybe you can cite Dr. Phil as your next expert.

No, I am not an addiction medicine specialist. No, I am not a physician. I take it you aren't either, given that your poor grammar wouldn't get you into medical school, let alone past it, at least not in the US. However, I know more about Dr. Drew's credentials than I do yours. Who should I trust:

a) a board-certified addiction medicine specialist with 20 years of training, or
b) some angry anonymous guy on the internet, credentials unknown?

I'll trust you more than I trust myself as soon as you provide some credentials. I'll trust you more than I trust Dr. Drew if and when your credentials match or exceed his. And obviously, feel free to trust yourself more than you trust me. Just don't expect me to trust you more than I do Dr. Drew, or the three addiction medicine specialists I know personally.

Bender The Offender: Ask your addict buddies how much time the doctor spends with them... BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH... Hey, maybe you can cite Dr. Phil as your next expert.


Wow. You're a douchebag. Personally, when it comes to nearly any topic in the world, I would believe the guy with the credentials listed in hazeleyedwolff's post over some cockwaffle-blowhard's rantings on an internet discussion thread.

But that's just me. You know, your druggie friends might disagree.

Dr. Drew: "You know, I think Britney is dying right before our eyes."

Adam C.: "You know, I thought I was dying the other night after I had that -- what was it, microwave burrito? I tell ya, I haven't had a case of the squirts like that since I came back from Cancun. I ate at a little Mexican restaurant down there, and it's an odd thing -- Mexican restaurants in Mexico. They should just call them 'restaurants.' You know, you don't go down here on Wilshire and Sunset to an 'American restaurant' -- it's a f*ckin' Carl's Jr."

Dr. Drew: "You don't understand! I think people need to realize that this poor girl needs some serious help!"

Adam C.: "You know, what I think people realize is that if you're in as bad a shape as she is, and granted -- I haven't had my best moments either. There were many times that I would leave a bar or a club or something fall down drunk, and I'd wake up somewhere where I didn't know where I was. That actually happened the other night, as a matter of fact. I think I might've already mentioned it, but you know...whatever. I think the world is a messed up place, and you know you do what you can to...you know... Next caller!"

EMPulse_of_KC: Dr. Drew: "You know, I think Britney is dying right before our eyes."

Having had listened to Loveline ever since Ricky Rathman was on I remember all of Adam's antics that would drive Drew up the wall especially when he was trying to be serious. Your dialogue was so right on the target that I could actually hear their voices saying it. Scary. And good jorb.

As a person who believes in your right to end your life however you choose I support whatever craziness Brit-Brit decides to follow through with.

I just hope someone made her set up a trust fund for her vagina-droppings.

/So glad that Loveline no longer has Adam on it.

EMPulse_of_KC

Wow, just wow. I haven't been this impressed since someone did a rant in a Dennis Miller thread that I could hear him saying in my head. I am seriously impressed.

Suicidial Writings

I wish I were her friend. I don't give a shiat about the money and fame, people like her just can't see how toxic the people around her are. They are in it for a free ride and will ride her to the grave.

I hate Fark cliches but...

This.

Britney's best chance would be to first of all, move to Bumfark, South Dakota and live with Mamma and Papa Corn Britches for two years while she got professional help all the meanwhile.

What happens a lot of times is that the lifestyle itself and the people around it become a cancerous parasite that only grow in strength the more she hangs around "the scene".

Trying to get your shiat straight in your head while living in the Hollywood lifestyle is like trying to feel full and satisifed on vanilla waffers when your body wants a steak and veggies.

scruffy1: EMPulse_of_KC: Dr. Drew: "You know, I think Britney is dying right before our eyes."

Having had listened to Loveline ever since Ricky Rathman was on I remember all of Adam's antics that would drive Drew up the wall especially when he was trying to be serious. Your dialogue was so right on the target that I could actually hear their voices saying it. Scary. And good jorb.

Suprman37: EMPulse_of_KC

Wow, just wow. I haven't been this impressed since someone did a rant in a Dennis Miller thread that I could hear him saying in my head. I am seriously impressed.

/ty
//not as scary as hearing Adam's voice in my head actually saying that stuff

" Britney is dying right before our eyes"......uhm,SO?

The funny thing about the marijuana talk with Dr.Drew is that I've heard him support legalization on some of his past shows. He also thinks second hand smoke damage is negligible.

Instead of Dr. Drew, I thought it said "Dr. Dre."

I was disappointed.

Also, isn't everyone technically dying before our eyes?

Once upon a time there was a tavern
Where we used to raise a glass or two
Remember how we'd laugh away the hours
Think of all the great things we would do

/I remember her!

EMPulse_of_KC:

If you could manage the voice, you could replace him without anybody noticing. You just need to add something about him paying 8 bajillion in taxes and how he was sucking off Kimmel the other night.

JrBobDobbs: I will not trust one word out of this man's mouth after hearing him say that marijuana withdrawl is worse than heroin withdrawl on Celebrity Rehab.

I don't know. Every pot smoker I've ever known tells me over and over how great weed is because it's not harmful and it's not addicting. But what is it they do and talk about constantly? Getting high. And when they're not, they're turning everything into a weed joke. Yeah, heroin is probably worse, but I really think marijuana addiction is worse than many people think.

EMPulse_of_KC: Dr. Drew: "You know, I think Britney is dying right before our eyes."

Adam C.: "You know, I thought I was dying the other night after I had that -- what was it, microwave burrito? I tell ya, I haven't had a case of the squirts like that since I came back from Cancun. I ate at a little Mexican restaurant down there, and it's an odd thing -- Mexican restaurants in Mexico. They should just call them 'restaurants.' You know, you don't go down here on Wilshire and Sunset to an 'American restaurant' -- it's a f*ckin' Carl's Jr."

Dr. Drew: "You don't understand! I think people need to realize that this poor girl needs some serious help!"

Adam C.: "You know, what I think people realize is that if you're in as bad a shape as she is, and granted -- I haven't had my best moments either. There were many times that I would leave a bar or a club or something fall down drunk, and I'd wake up somewhere where I didn't know where I was. That actually happened the other night, as a matter of fact. I think I might've already mentioned it, but you know...whatever. I think the world is a messed up place, and you know you do what you can to...you know... Next caller!"

Wow. Accurate. Very good job.

DrMcNinja: EMPulse_of_KC:

If you could manage the voice, you could replace him without anybody noticing. You just need to add something about him paying 8 bajillion in taxes and how he was sucking off Kimmel the other night.

Not surprising considering it was Kimmel who discovered him and pretty much brought him to fame.

Adam will probably have you on his show now, as his fans and only publicists.

Atypical Person Reading Fark: Adam will probably have you on his show now, as his fans and only publicists.

Hell only if he helps me fix the roof on my house and reshingle my garage.