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(Chicago Breaking News)   New York Police Department says no to facial hair such as goatees, quickly solving its evil twin problem   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 136
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6643 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2008 at 7:46 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-01-14 05:15:55 PM  
Lt. Burns: Sipowicz, get rid of those sideburns.
Sipowicz: What sideburns?
Lt. Burns: You heard me, hippie
 
2008-01-14 05:30:37 PM  
No, because the facial hair is what helps us determine which twin is the evil one. If neither of them have facial hair, we will have no clue which is which. It'll be chaos!
 
2008-01-14 05:33:16 PM  
Car_Ramrod: No, because the facial hair is what helps us determine which twin is the evil one. If neither of them have facial hair, we will have no clue which is which. It'll be chaos!

EXACTLY what I was thinking. Except I wonder if there needs to be a distinction between EVIL police department twins and BIZZARO police department twins.

Clarification might be in order.
 
2008-01-14 05:34:31 PM  
Well, there go all of the gay cops...
 
2008-01-14 05:43:47 PM  
bah bah bah super troopers bah bah
 
2008-01-14 05:50:28 PM  
CtrlAltDelete: Except I wonder if there needs to be a distinction between EVIL police department twins and BIZZARO police department twins.

Clarification might be in order.


I would assume the bizarro cops would actually help the public. Like instead of taking people's money for no reason, they would return your wallet if you dropped it. Or, I don't know, at least attempt to find out who burgled my apartment 2 days after I moved in.

That, or they'd be born via eggs:
img143.imageshack.us
 
2008-01-14 05:50:51 PM  
Heh
 
2008-01-14 05:56:57 PM  
Evil Spock does not approve..

i3.tinypic.com
 
2008-01-14 06:06:05 PM  
Wil img1.fark.net gets the last word on this.
 
2008-01-14 06:21:09 PM  
Detective Tutuola is not amused.
 
2008-01-14 06:32:59 PM  
But goatees can be so slimming for those vets with a few too many visits to the donut shop under(and above) their belts.

/no they can't
 
2008-01-14 06:45:11 PM  
Obligatory (pops)
 
2008-01-14 07:13:39 PM  
Don't shave me, bro!
 
2008-01-14 07:17:50 PM  
Hell, between the hair itself and the donut crumbs, some cops could lose 5 lbs!
 
2008-01-14 07:30:18 PM  
bitteroldman: Obligatory (pops)

Awesome.

\long-haired hippy freak
 
2008-01-14 07:53:38 PM  
Of course, the "cop stash" is still allowed.

Most of the male population has abandoned the mustache only look, but it still thrives in the cop culture. Fascinating.
 
2008-01-14 07:53:58 PM  
...and they think THIS will help people have respect for them???
 
2008-01-14 07:54:56 PM  
In other words, no goatees, no chin strap beards (think Barry White)

Take my beard? Ah, hell no children...
img140.imageshack.us
 
2008-01-14 07:55:32 PM  
www.nriinternet.com
 
2008-01-14 07:56:07 PM  
tvmedia.ign.com

Evil or good? Can you judge?
 
2008-01-14 07:56:59 PM  
and undercovers can pretty much do whatever they want when it comes to facial hair.

I use my goatee while undercover

/As it should be
 
2008-01-14 07:57:16 PM  
The department also allows officers to grow beards if they suffer from Pseudofolliculitis barbae

I'm so tired of Pseudofolliculitis barbaeites getting preferential treatment.
 
2008-01-14 07:57:18 PM  
there goes my trying to be the youngest person ever to win a goatee................if i'ma be in the NYPD
 
2008-01-14 07:57:37 PM  
No idea if its for respect, as Firelick mentioned. But I do know, in the fire department, we don't allow much of it because of the fact that it is sometimes known to interrupt with the seal on the air mask.

Or so they say. They've always fit for me when I've let mine grow and tried it out. /shrug
 
2008-01-14 07:58:03 PM  
I googled "worlds largest sideburns" and got "worlds most horniest animal"

/not relevent, but oh so good

neatorama.cachefly.net
 
2008-01-14 07:58:31 PM  
I have a goatee so I'm not getting a kick...
 
2008-01-14 07:58:50 PM  
usuarios.lycos.es
Bender approves. Flexo does not.


/Both the sum of two cubes!
 
2008-01-14 07:59:25 PM  
archive.southcoasttoday.com

Hasidic cop is outraged.
 
2008-01-14 08:00:16 PM  
Boobies!!!: The department also allows officers to grow beards if they suffer from Pseudofolliculitis barbae

I'm so tired of Pseudofolliculitis barbaeites getting preferential treatment.


The less fortunate get all the breaks!
 
2008-01-14 08:00:25 PM  
Do not approve...

homepage.mac.com
 
2008-01-14 08:00:45 PM  
img147.imageshack.us

(since everyone seems to be posting images of "men with beards"...)
 
2008-01-14 08:00:59 PM  
Wow. A "Mountie" towelhead. Just, wow.
 
2008-01-14 08:01:31 PM  
I have a goatee, so I'm getting a kick out of the NYPD.
 
2008-01-14 08:01:32 PM  
i5.photobucket.com


I call shenanigans
 
2008-01-14 08:01:53 PM  
www.79waky.com

www1.istockphoto.com

They have a point.
 
2008-01-14 08:03:07 PM  
Now when they outlaw tatoos.
 
2008-01-14 08:03:22 PM  
dammit Flederman, 67 seconds.
 
2008-01-14 08:03:29 PM  
You know who else liked moustaches?
 
2008-01-14 08:04:10 PM  
img143.imageshack.us

I can't dig that order sir
 
2008-01-14 08:04:34 PM  
Bill_Wick's_Friend: (since everyone seems to be posting images of "men with beards"...)

AWSOME! that's Jeff Gordon right?
 
2008-01-14 08:04:41 PM  
www.sptimes.com
 
2008-01-14 08:04:57 PM  
AbnerJenkins: You know who else liked moustaches?

zee Germans?
 
2008-01-14 08:06:01 PM  
www.vw.vccs.edu

Does not approve. Who wants a mustache ride?
 
2008-01-14 08:06:53 PM  
Guess which twin is never going to work for the NYPD?

www.lookydaddy.com
 
2008-01-14 08:08:21 PM  
The NYPD can't have facial hair? Next thing you know the NY Yankees won't be allowed to have any either!

/Cats and Dogs living together, mass hysteria!
 
2008-01-14 08:10:12 PM  
www.stonewallvets.org
 
2008-01-14 08:10:35 PM  
This happened in August when Chief Giannelli sent a memo re: "military sharp" hair, patent leather shoes, buffed motorcycle boots, etc. Recent memo was an update on beard length for the medical exceptions.

Beard policy started in both FDNY and NYPD for MASK SEAL reasons.

/pushbroom soupstrainers ok
 
2008-01-14 08:12:20 PM  
www.thames.org

/Does not approve
//Until you tip him
 
2008-01-14 08:13:10 PM  

"The department also allows officers to grow beards if they suffer from Pseudofolliculitis barbae, a dermatological condition better known as PFB that is common among black men and afflicts those who shave with rashes and scarring, mostly on and under their chins, as well as on their cheeks and necks."


That's racist!!!! They're saying that a black man is too weak to deal with a skin condition? Somebody call Jesse and Sharpton on the bat phone.

 
2008-01-14 08:14:00 PM  
codymacdaddy: I call shenanigans

I came here for the Super Troopers references.

Anyone have that line about authority emanating from the lip?

/lazy
 
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