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(earthtimes.org)   Airport security finds 34 marijuana joints in man's underwear when cop who "frisked him during a routine body check felt something on his buttocks"   (earthtimes.org ) divider line
    More: Dumbass  
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6934 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Jan 2008 at 7:39 AM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-01-14 02:02:54 AM  
That's some stinky weed,yo.
 
2008-01-14 02:29:40 AM  
Okay so we know what won't work.
 
2008-01-14 02:39:34 AM  
Remember, kids, go with the crack, not across it.
 
2008-01-14 02:57:16 AM  
Weed + buttocks. = ?
 
2008-01-14 02:58:14 AM  
Amateur.
 
2008-01-14 03:15:45 AM  
It was a Japanese man arrested at the Manila airport.

US airport "security" would have biatched about something petty like a water bottle, and would have missed the pot entirely.
 
2008-01-14 03:19:24 AM  
AntiNorm:
You don't mind if I light a smoke, do you?
 
2008-01-14 03:24:45 AM  
"I had to follow the dog around for 3 days to get it back, man."

/Got nothin'
 
2008-01-14 06:41:39 AM  
Well thank God they stopped this dangerous man before he devastated Manila's snack food supply.
 
2008-01-14 07:27:18 AM  
tbn0.google.com

They solved Phase 2.
 
2008-01-14 07:44:43 AM  
this is why you never buy it pre-rolled.
 
2008-01-14 07:46:06 AM  
www.nyc.gov
 
2008-01-14 07:46:15 AM  
Only Forrest Gump says "buttocks" anymore.
 
2008-01-14 07:46:25 AM  
naveline Weed + buttocks. = ?


www.mikelive.us
 
2008-01-14 07:47:12 AM  
I like subby's headline more than the one from the article. The article headline makes me want to start harvesting Japanese mens underwear.
 
2008-01-14 07:47:21 AM  
Since weed is not a threat to airline travel, why the Hell did they care?
 
2008-01-14 07:50:49 AM  
the only place to put weed when traveling is in your pocket.

follow it up with prayer.
 
2008-01-14 07:51:16 AM  
cynispasm: Since weed is not a threat to airline travel, why the Hell did they care?

They don't want the pilots to be drunk and high at the same time.
 
2008-01-14 07:53:24 AM  
so . . . he rolls these joints. Then just shoves them in his pants? Breaks them open, gets them all sweaty? And then gets on a plane to a country with some of the toughest drugs laws around.

Never was the dumbass tag more deserved.
 
2008-01-14 07:53:31 AM  
cynispasm: Since weed is not a threat to airline travel, why the Hell did they care?

Uhhh....cause its a crime?
 
2008-01-14 07:57:54 AM  
From another article;
Under current Philippine law, possession of 500 grams (a little more than one pound) of marijuana is punishable by death, while possession of between five and 499 grams merits a life sentence. The law goes easier on small-time offenders: Those who possess less than five grams face only a 12-year prison sentence.

/his ass is grass in more ways than one
 
2008-01-14 07:58:55 AM  
TheGreyPiper: cynispasm: Since weed is not a threat to airline travel, why the Hell did they care?

Uhhh....cause its a crime?


Uhhh...I bet when you say 'uhhh', it looks very natural on your face.
 
2008-01-14 08:01:35 AM  
Barton Fink: the only place to put weed when traveling is in your pocket.

follow it up with prayer.


nah, you roll it in emptied cigarettes like my mom did.
what you DONT do is forget you have one left over when you're in line at customs, and light it up thinking it's a marlboro.

*sniff*sniff* what's that smell? luckily (or maybe just less interestingly) she caught herself before the man did.

what you DONT do is what i did when i was a kid (25?) and carry a small amount thru TSA in a METAL ring box (it was covered in velvet but that's no excuse for being a dumbass). I thought for some reason it would escape detection easier than if it had been in my backpack (not as low key as leaving it in the car would have been, sure.) I wasn't even catching a flight, just going to meet someone at the hanger (back when you were allowed to).

*beep! BEEP!* "ma'am can you step to the side?"

luckily it was crowded, luckily the young buck wanding me was out of earshot of his seniors. When he opened the ring box, i pulled every ounce of jedi power i had, made eyecontact and said very softly "It's not a bomb, dude. Just let me go through" He looks at me, the box, his superiors behind him, and motions me thru. Like the dumbass youth i was, i tried for the weed too. na-hah. "i can't do THAT" he says, putting it in his pocket. You know what? enjoy that on me man. no worries.
 
2008-01-14 08:05:17 AM  
TheGreyPiper
Uhhh....cause its a crime?
Baaaa, baaaaa ... gubmint say marijuana bad ... must obey police and gubmint ... evil drugs ... is crime ... must oppose it because gubmint say so

You're just the kind of sheep this country needs! Well done.
 
2008-01-14 08:13:18 AM  
Guess he learned the origins of the phrase cop a feel.
 
2008-01-14 08:14:16 AM  
mister aj: Baaaa, baaaaa ... gubmint say marijuana bad ... must obey police and gubmint ... evil drugs ... is crime ... must oppose it because gubmint say so

You're just the kind of sheep this country needs! Well done.


Nice analysis there, genius.

Whether you agree that possessing weed should be a crime (I don't), the fact is that right now, it *is* a crime. So maybe he should've done a better job of smuggling. Right, Sparky?
 
2008-01-14 08:25:52 AM  
cynispasm: Since weed is not a threat to airline travel, why the Hell did they care?

Uhhh....cause its a crime?


"Prohibition will work great injury to the cause of temperance. It is a species of intemperance within itself, for it goes beyond the bounds of reason in that it attempts to control a man's appetite by legislation, and makes a crime out of things that are not crimes. A Prohibition law strikes a blow at the very principles upon which our government was founded." - Abraham Lincoln

Not usually one to agree with or quote those of the (R) persuasion, but this has to be the best thing that has ever been said about prohibition laws. It's too bad that what used to be a party of reason and minimal government intrusion into people's lives is now the Neo-Prohibitionist Nanny Party.

Hey! NPNP! That would make a good campaign acronym, eh, Repubs?
 
2008-01-14 08:27:57 AM  
naveline: Weed + buttocks. = ?

Buttweed?
 
2008-01-14 08:39:33 AM  
Now someone just tell me why the guy was subjected to a frisking.

Difficulty: Don't use the word terrorist. It means nothing now.
 
2008-01-14 08:41:24 AM  
If security hadn't stopped there, they would have found a couple cigars.

/Hey-o!
 
2008-01-14 08:41:25 AM  
crossthread

so just because the law says something we should all obey it?

It is the duty of every moral man to break unjust laws.
 
2008-01-14 08:44:50 AM  
"No officer, thats my hemerroids."

/Would not have been searched.
//Would be getting high on a beach rather than getting many more "friskings", in jail.
 
2008-01-14 08:57:12 AM  
pot is fun
 
2008-01-14 08:58:07 AM  
LavenderWolf: so just because the law says something we should all obey it?

Show me where I said he should obey it. I believe I said he should've done a better job smuggling it. Sounds like I was condoning breaking the law, hmmm?
 
2008-01-14 09:00:49 AM  
RU_Rules: naveline: Weed + buttocks. = ?

Buttweed?


Jenkem?

/Oh wait...
//That's butt-hash.
 
2008-01-14 09:02:21 AM  
People, this is not difficult. Once again:

step 1. Get two vacuum sealed plastic bags.
step 2. Carefully compact your drugs and place them in the first bag.
step 3. Wash your hands, and the bag, with soap and warm water.
step 4. Coat the outside of the first bag with vaseline.
step 5. Seal the first bag inside of the second bag.
step 6. For good measure, rewash your hands, and the outside of the second bag.
step 7. Proceed to hide said contraband, which is now completely undetectable to k-9 units, in your checked luggage in the manner that seems best to you. If you are transporting relatively small quantities for personal use, this is extremely easy. A favorite of mine has always been a shampoo bottle.
 
2008-01-14 09:28:16 AM  
LavenderWolf: crossthread

so just because the law says something we should all obey it?

It is the duty of every moral man to break unjust laws.


Is it to the duty of every man to fly to hardline islamic countries to do so, ensuring that his action will be the last thing he does breathing free air (or at all)?

Drug laws are stupid, but that doesn't mean intelligent people should flaunt them without at least trying to not get caught.
 
2008-01-14 09:39:49 AM  
DulceEtDecorumEst: People, this is not difficult. Once again:

step 1. Get two vacuum sealed plastic bags.
step 2. Carefully compact your drugs and place them in the first bag.
step 3. Wash your hands, and the bag, with soap and warm water.
step 4. Coat the outside of the first bag with vaseline.
step 5. Seal the first bag inside of the second bag.
step 6. For good measure, rewash your hands, and the outside of the second bag.
step 7. Proceed to hide said contraband, which is now completely undetectable to k-9 units, in your checked luggage in the manner that seems best to you. If you are transporting relatively small quantities for personal use, this is extremely easy. A favorite of mine has always been a shampoo bottle.


good advice, except for step 4. that is making things needlessly messy.
 
2008-01-14 09:48:47 AM  
crossthread

Winnar, then.
 
2008-01-14 09:50:56 AM  
cynispasm: TheGreyPiper: cynispasm: Since weed is not a threat to airline travel, why the Hell did they care?

Uhhh....cause its a crime?

Uhhh...I bet when you say 'uhhh', it looks very natural on your face.


I lawled.
 
2008-01-14 09:55:04 AM  
lilplatinum

Well, it's legal here now precisely because of people like me who smoke it in the open and attend rallies. So I'm gonna disagree with you.

And wtf was that about hardline Islamic countries? Are you smoking crack?
 
2008-01-14 10:00:05 AM  
LavenderWolf: Winnar, then.

*Shakes tiny fists in the air*
*coughs, passes out*
 
2008-01-14 10:08:20 AM  
Ah yes, remember, airport security is for people's safety only, it will never be abused!
 
2008-01-14 10:25:00 AM  
DulceEtDecorumEst: step 7. Proceed to hide said contraband, which is now completely undetectable to k-9 units, in your checked luggage in the manner that seems best to you. If you are transporting relatively small quantities for personal use, this is extremely easy. A favorite of mine has always been a shampoo bottle.

An empty shampoo bottle? Or should it have some in it?
/still prolly to puss to try
 
2008-01-14 10:36:58 AM  
dcjones


It depends. The best thing is to empty out the shampoo bottle halfway, and then put whatever you want in it. Next, refill the shampoo bottle so that it looks like it is brand new. After that, it doesn't hurt to dab a bit of superglue around the top, so that it can't be screwed off again. If worst comes to worst, and someone actually takes the time to physically inspect the shampoo bottle, they will see that it is full, might even squirt a bit of shampoo out, and if they were to try to remove the top, they would just assume that it does not come off.

As an aside, I should note that this is quite a bit of overkill for my purposes, since I am just a pot smoker. However, I have had k9 dogs pass within feet of my bags and they have done nothing. Furthermore, here's an extra bit of info for you - while a given k9 may be trained to detect several different kinds of drugs/explosives, it will only go into "search" mode when ordered to do so by its handler, and the handler, for obvious reasons, tells the dog to search for one particular thing at a time, 95% of the time for coke. If a dog is looking only for coke, you could stroll by it with 100 lbs of pot falling onto the floor out of overstuffed duffle bags and it would do absolutely nothing.

As a last bit of advice, just don't carry anything at all when going to, or transiting certain asian countries, namely singapore and the phillipines and thailand. Even if you reduce the liklihood of getting caught to something like 1/10,000 - 1/100,000 the penalties there are so severe, that you just don't need the hassle. Better to mail it to yourself in one of those countries. Just carefully pack your shipment, and address it to John Doe or current resident.
 
2008-01-14 10:41:20 AM  
DulceEtDecorumEst

You should be a columnist at High Times
 
2008-01-14 10:45:35 AM  
Ah, airport security. A dream come true for the reverse frotteur.
 
2008-01-14 10:48:28 AM  
DulceEtDecorumEst
Thnx 4 da info!
i202.photobucket.com
Righ on!

/fist raised
 
2008-01-14 11:11:22 AM  
img2.timeinc.net
"Would you like to buy some marijuana, ma'am? I gots some here, taped directly to my buttocks."
 
2008-01-14 11:22:32 AM  
DulceEtDecorumEst: dcjones


It depends. The best thing is to empty out the shampoo bottle halfway, and then put whatever you want in it. Next, refill the shampoo bottle so that it looks like it is brand new. After that, it doesn't hurt to dab a bit of superglue around the top, so that it can't be screwed off again. If worst comes to worst, and someone actually takes the time to physically inspect the shampoo bottle, they will see that it is full, might even squirt a bit of shampoo out, and if they were to try to remove the top, they would just assume that it does not come off.

As an aside, I should note that this is quite a bit of overkill for my purposes, since I am just a pot smoker. However, I have had k9 dogs pass within feet of my bags and they have done nothing. Furthermore, here's an extra bit of info for you - while a given k9 may be trained to detect several different kinds of drugs/explosives, it will only go into "search" mode when ordered to do so by its handler, and the handler, for obvious reasons, tells the dog to search for one particular thing at a time, 95% of the time for coke. If a dog is looking only for coke, you could stroll by it with 100 lbs of pot falling onto the floor out of overstuffed duffle bags and it would do absolutely nothing.

As a last bit of advice, just don't carry anything at all when going to, or transiting certain asian countries, namely singapore and the phillipines and thailand. Even if you reduce the liklihood of getting caught to something like 1/10,000 - 1/100,000 the penalties there are so severe, that you just don't need the hassle. Better to mail it to yourself in one of those countries. Just carefully pack your shipment, and address it to John Doe or current resident.


Would a bald guy's shampoo bottle be suspect?
 
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