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(Some Guy)   A concise treatise on surviving (and winning) a fist fight   (joethepeacock.com ) divider line
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30921 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jan 2008 at 12:47 PM (8 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-01-11 01:32:04 PM  
The Grinch: Kinetocracy

1) Disengage safety.
2) Aim.
3) Squeeze trigger.

4) Be the first to complete the above.



Or
1)Carry 1911 locked and cocked
2)Draw Aim Fire
 
2008-01-11 01:32:04 PM  
IAmAGodWarrior Quote 2008-01-11 01:12:35 PM
Kimbo Slice

this is what you want to do in this situation

/guy is an animal


He's ok. More of an untrained mobber though, isn't he? If he can land a couple of serious blows in the first round, you'd probably be out. Against a trained fighter though he's probably going to get the piss knocked out of him (see Sean Gannon).

I'd be more afraid of the trained fighter you see in UFC (and the like). Mixed martial arts scares the piss out of me, because it's the chess of close combat.

I've also read the Pooty Putin is one hell of a brawler. I wonder if it's true?
 
2008-01-11 01:32:09 PM  
bighairyguy: Being a 6'2" 290 pound weightlifer usually keeps people from starting fights with me.

/Scream like a girl and run if that fails


I prefer the curl up in a fetal position and weep technique.

Last fight I was in was with my brother. I was drunk and he hit me in the face as hard as he could. When I didn't fall, it was on. When it went to the ground he tried to get me in a cradle. I reversed him and cradled him. I kept my arm across his shoulder so he couldn't punch until he calmed down enough to call it a draw.

/6'5", 240#
//I needed a good ass kicking that day.
///I deserved it.
 
2008-01-11 01:32:34 PM  
OscarTamerz: I saw the end result of fights working ERs in Detroit for 6 years and if you actually believe any of this crap you're a moron. For every broken face, mandible or zygoma we would see 20 broken hands, usually metacarpals which are known as boxer fractures for a very good reason. If you are hitting someone with a closed hand and it's not taped up and inside a boxing glove then expect it to break and you are stuck fighting one handed or even no handed although they hurt so much they're repaired under general anesthesia so it's pretty much the end of the fight for you. I did see some bilateral fractures where the second punch was thrown before the nerve impulses had been received from the first broken bone. You are going to find out who your friends are when you can't wipe your own ass for six weeks.

They're not THAT bad dude... When I was 17 I was horseback riding, and my horse stumbled and I accidentally punched my saddle horn. I got a boxer's fracture so perfectly text book that the doctor refused to believe I had gotten the injury horseback riding.

All he did was shove me in a cast for a few weeks.

/luckily it was my left hand
//I'm right handed
 
2008-01-11 01:32:36 PM  
OscarTamerz: I saw the end result of fights working ERs in Detroit for 6 years and if you actually believe any of this crap you're a moron. For every broken face, mandible or zygoma we would see 20 broken hands, usually metacarpals which are known as boxer fractures for a very good reason. If you are hitting someone with a closed hand and it's not taped up and inside a boxing glove then expect it to break and you are stuck fighting one handed or even no handed although they hurt so much they're repaired under general anesthesia so it's pretty much the end of the fight for you. I did see some bilateral fractures where the second punch was thrown before the nerve impulses had been received from the first broken bone. You are going to find out who your friends are when you can't wipe your own ass for six weeks.

so you're saying let the guy get a good punch on the thick part of your skull, break his fingers, then biatch slap him and run?

sounds like a plan :)
 
2008-01-11 01:32:40 PM  
protectyourlimbs: ALL OF YOU ARE FORGETTING THE FIRST RULE

This.
 
rpa
2008-01-11 01:32:50 PM  
PC LOAD LETTER: bighairyguy: Being a 6'2" 290 pound weightlifer usually keeps people from starting fights with me.

I knew a guy in college who was 5'3" and would pick fights with folks like you because of that.


i guess being the biggest guy in the bar (6'5", at one point i was about 350) made me a target for idiots who wanted to look tough. the nice thing about it was that they were, well, idiots. 90% of the time they would do something excessively stupid. like try a roundhouse kick to the head (with no training other than watching kung fu movies). had a guy try that once and i caught his ankle (seems amateurs can't get much speed on a high roundhouse kick) and cartwheeled him back onto the table where his buddies were. all their drinks spilled. at that point, i'm like, "shiat, one idiot i can handle but five of them would pose a serious problem". but they just looked back at me and shook their heads. one of the guys looked down at his buddy (on the floor, covered in beer) and kicked him in the ribs and was all like "what the fark is wrong with you, mike. you're such an asshole.")

heh. them days was fun.
 
2008-01-11 01:33:30 PM  
hipcheckgrl: Best advice on fighting I ever got was that if you're going to hit somebody, don't stop and wait for their reaction afterwards. If you're going to swing once, keep swinging. Who knew that less than 2 weeks later, I'd need that advice.

/girl fight
//I won


I think I saw you on Judge Judy yesterday.
 
2008-01-11 01:33:58 PM  
dj_bigbird: Yeah it is suicide if you are dealing with someone who is trained in some form of joint grappling or small circle wrestling but thankfully most people arent your adv. meat head wont know how to control you in that position to take adv. of any of the nasty possibilities that those positions offer. The real dangers when going to the ground in a reality based situation (i.e. non controlled sparring situation)are 1) getting cut or hit with something on the ground and 2) the other guys friends waiting to hit you with a bar stool. Keeping your chest to the ground is a more natural position to move in, helps get you exert more pressure and get back to your feet more quickly, and is generally safer. Granted many grapplers like to debate that fact but the classical guard position can be very unsafe in a real world combat situation. If there are multiple opponents youre basicly screwed. when youre laying on your back you cant defend from multiple angles and also (disclaimer: this could be BS but its what I was told from my instructor) the cause of death in most bar room brawls is getting you head bounced off the floor or a table. Very few people can produce the requsite force needed to do serious internal damage on their own, but combine their power with a strong resisting force like the floor is a good formula for squashed brains. So basically like the article says just dont go there and when there get the fark somewhere else.
 
2008-01-11 01:34:16 PM  
Is it weird that I've never been in a fight? In school nobody bothered me and in bars I've always been able to intellectually override the drunken fools.

Where are people hanging out that it's degenerating into fist fights on a regular basis?
 
2008-01-11 01:34:22 PM  
xaks: As someone that has a class 3 on his record from fighting, and has had to provide documentation of this at several job interviews, I would disagree with you.

That's OK though.


I'm not saying it never happens. Only that it's statistically rare. Sorry about your class 3, but no one I'm friends with has had charges pressed for fighting. I know people who have, but the fights that those things happen in are far less often then ones that end with no court involvement.

You're not disagreeing, you simply had a bad thing happen to you that doesn't happen to most people.
 
2008-01-11 01:34:53 PM  
PC LOAD LETTER: bighairyguy: Being a 6'2" 290 pound weightlifer usually keeps people from starting fights with me.

I knew a guy in college who was 5'3" and would pick fights with folks like you because of that.

Problem was that he was a Ni Dan in Aikijutsu. What an asshole.

That's the part where you start throwing nickels at him and then dimes and then quarters until he runs away.

And I don't mean money.


I was in a bar once and a bartender friend came over and told me her 6'8" husband had just left, making me the biggest guy in the bar. That made the prime target for any runt who wanted to make a name for him self. Nice of her to alert me to that.

I also knew a guy who got beat up in bar fights on a regular basis. I suggested a preventative measure, not going to bars any more, but he couldn't comprehend that. Dumbass.
 
2008-01-11 01:34:54 PM  
FarkinHostile: Don't give away a ridiculous amount of weight.

Remember: f=ma

His "m" will always trump your "a" unless you're a Golden Gloves quality boxer. And, then, you'd better be friggin' lighting.


KE = (1/2)mv2.

A smaller, faster object has more kinetic energy than a bigger, slower one.


In practical matters, the speed of human punches is going to be a wash. Cassius Clay clocked Cleveland Williams ~7 times in a second, but most people can't manage anything like that. A 200 lb schlemiel is going to stomp a 150 lb schlemiel.
 
2008-01-11 01:35:04 PM  
To the people commenting on how some of the advice is wrong, keep in mind he's aiming this at people with absolutely no training whatsoever. His advice of keeping your strong arm and leg forward is consistent with his later advice of only throwing straight punches if you don't know what you're doing. RTFA.
 
2008-01-11 01:35:23 PM  
DaShredda: Article is BS

1. Keep Your Strong Foot Back

2. So You Can Kick With It

3. Getting kicked hurts 100 times more than getting punched

/will take 4 punches to the face to get in one good body kick
//MMA snob
///I trained and got my ass beat


Ya I wasn't MMA but I did karate and thought I would win a fight against a wrestler. I lost after kicking him in the face and bloodying him pretty well. It looked good for me until he tackled me and got full mount. Then it got bad.
 
2008-01-11 01:35:32 PM  
I'm in a fight right now so I'm really getting a kick... OUCH!!! OH GOD! PLEASE HELP
 
2008-01-11 01:35:55 PM  
OscarTamerz: I saw the end result of fights working ERs in Detroit for 6 years and if you actually believe any of this crap you're a moron. For every broken face, mandible or zygoma we would see 20 broken hands, usually metacarpals which are known as boxer fractures for a very good reason. If you are hitting someone with a closed hand and it's not taped up and inside a boxing glove then expect it to break and you are stuck fighting one handed or even no handed although they hurt so much they're repaired under general anesthesia so it's pretty much the end of the fight for you. I did see some bilateral fractures where the second punch was thrown before the nerve impulses had been received from the first broken bone. You are going to find out who your friends are when you can't wipe your own ass for six weeks.

What if you lead with the ulna? I heard that lining up your pinky and fourth finger with your ulna will be the safest in terms of not breaking bones.

/now come here and let me punch you in the face and try it
//i keed
 
2008-01-11 01:36:35 PM  
CycloneArmageddon: DaShredda:ALWAYS look down so your throat isnt open.

No. Keep your head tilted down and keep your eyes on your opponent.

/but hey, you want to stare at his shoes while he nails you it's your headache


My bad, I didn't know we need 100% instruction.

Keep your 'head' looking down, but keep your eyes focused on your opponent.

I thought that was assumed.
 
2008-01-11 01:36:39 PM  
I would just hit them in the nose with my palm and send the cartilage into their brain.

/yeshuh it works
//happened to a friend of a friend of mine
 
2008-01-11 01:37:08 PM  
OscarTamerz

I saw the end result of fights working ERs in Detroit for 6 years and if you actually believe any of this crap you're a moron. For every broken face, mandible or zygoma we would see 20 broken hands, usually metacarpals which are known as boxer fractures for a very good reason. If you are hitting someone with a closed hand and it's not taped up and inside a boxing glove then expect it to break and you are stuck fighting one handed or even no handed although they hurt so much they're repaired under general anesthesia so it's pretty much the end of the fight for you. I did see some bilateral fractures where the second punch was thrown before the nerve impulses had been received from the first broken bone. You are going to find out who your friends are when you can't wipe your own ass for six weeks.

Happened to Mike Tyson and he was never the same after that. Forget who he was fighting in the parking lot.
 
2008-01-11 01:37:16 PM  
k00k: there is no object so benign it cannot become a weapon

What about marshmallows?

there is no fight so winnable you do not want a weapon

I can tell YOU never beat up a 5 year old..


I like the way you think.

*Imaginging using marshmallows to beat up a five year old.*
 
2008-01-11 01:37:46 PM  
I've also read the Pooty Putin is one hell of a brawler. I wonder if it's true?


Actually hes a very well trained and instructing Judo/Sambo master. Hes reased a few dvds and training books in Europe and Amerca but none of them can be found in Russia because hes worried about his reputation.

http://www.amazon.com/Judo-History-Practice-Vladamir-Putin/dp/15564344​56
 
rpa
2008-01-11 01:37:48 PM  
Begoggle: I'm in a fight right now so I'm really getting a kick... OUCH!!! OH GOD! PLEASE HELP

i can't stand your bastards and your iPhones. seriously. you don't need to be surfing the internets all the time, do you?

/knows a few people who would probably txt their friends in the middle of a fight or search the web for advice.
//there's gotta be a cheat guide or walkthrough for this around here somewheres.
 
2008-01-11 01:37:56 PM  
Never been in a "real" fight in my life, unless you count sparring.Anyone who tries to start one with me eventually changes their mind and i'm just not the type to start one.

Ok. This is my favorite of all the posts.

You've never been in a real fight, but they should be scared of you!...Because?

You brought your dad and your big brother...and you'll tell if they hit you?
 
2008-01-11 01:38:56 PM  
Watch the show "Human Weapon" on History Channel if you want to under stand how body mechanics effect the way punches and kick are thrown. Seriously, tons of very scientific, and accurate advice and technique in that show.
 
2008-01-11 01:39:14 PM  
mantoast: To the people commenting on how some of the advice is wrong, keep in mind he's aiming this at people with absolutely no training whatsoever. His advice of keeping your strong arm and leg forward is consistent with his later advice of only throwing straight punches if you don't know what you're doing. RTFA.

With your strong foot back its harder to get knocked off your balance. No matter how he says it, it's wrong. Proper stance is the first thing anyone learns.
 
2008-01-11 01:39:29 PM  
If you really want to win a fight be a left handed person and fight a right handed person.
 
2008-01-11 01:39:37 PM  
fatal_exception: k00k: there is no object so benign it cannot become a weapon

What about marshmallows?

there is no fight so winnable you do not want a weapon

I can tell YOU never beat up a 5 year old..

I like the way you think.

*Imaginging using marshmallows to beat up a five year old.*


If you shove enough marshmallows in someone's mouth/throat they would choke and die.

Obviously none of you know my friend's 5 year old daughter; that little girl could make Satan cry.
 
2008-01-11 01:39:42 PM  
Bowen: Is it weird that I've never been in a fight? In school nobody bothered me and in bars I've always been able to intellectually override the drunken fools.

Where are people hanging out that it's degenerating into fist fights on a regular basis?


No, I don't think it's weird. I think that's actually pretty common. For me, I played a lot of hockey for one thing. And I also dated a crazy chick for some time who'd start stuff on purpose at bars and clubs that would result in me fighting.
 
2008-01-11 01:40:05 PM  
yakmans_dad: FarkinHostile: Don't give away a ridiculous amount of weight.

Remember: f=ma

His "m" will always trump your "a" unless you're a Golden Gloves quality boxer. And, then, you'd better be friggin' lighting.


KE = (1/2)mv2.

A smaller, faster object has more kinetic energy than a bigger, slower one.


And what about the big Mo?

Momentum = mass * velocity

All that momentum from a huge, slow-moving fist has to go somewhere. It probably would end up buried somewhere in my nose.
 
rpa
2008-01-11 01:40:11 PM  
Drakuun: Watch the show "Human Weapon" on History Channel if you want to under stand how body mechanics effect the way punches and kick are thrown. Seriously, tons of very scientific, and accurate advice and technique in that show.

bah, i learnt all my fightin' techniques from mah granpappy. he wuz golden gloves back in tha war.
 
2008-01-11 01:40:47 PM  
OscarTamerz: I saw the end result of fights working ERs in Detroit for 6 years and if you actually believe any of this crap you're a moron. For every broken face, mandible or zygoma we would see 20 broken hands, usually metacarpals which are known as boxer fractures for a very good reason. If you are hitting someone with a closed hand and it's not taped up and inside a boxing glove then expect it to break and you are stuck fighting one handed or even no handed although they hurt so much they're repaired under general anesthesia so it's pretty much the end of the fight for you. I did see some bilateral fractures where the second punch was thrown before the nerve impulses had been received from the first broken bone. You are going to find out who your friends are when you can't wipe your own ass for six weeks.

lol, I pulled this one in the only fight I've ever been in. Didn't break, but sure felt like it. Thank god the guy quit after that.
 
2008-01-11 01:41:03 PM  
Pilikia: OscarTamerz

I saw the end result of fights working ERs in Detroit for 6 years and if you actually believe any of this crap you're a moron. For every broken face, mandible or zygoma we would see 20 broken hands, usually metacarpals which are known as boxer fractures for a very good reason. If you are hitting someone with a closed hand and it's not taped up and inside a boxing glove then expect it to break and you are stuck fighting one handed or even no handed although they hurt so much they're repaired under general anesthesia so it's pretty much the end of the fight for you. I did see some bilateral fractures where the second punch was thrown before the nerve impulses had been received from the first broken bone. You are going to find out who your friends are when you can't wipe your own ass for six weeks.

Happened to Mike Tyson and he was never the same after that. Forget who he was fighting in the parking lot.


Exactly I would reccommend only closed fists to the mody and use open hand attacks when possible, it is also easier to defend/block, grapple, and use the environment around you fighting open hand. You also should use your point bits like elbows and knees.
 
2008-01-11 01:41:32 PM  
1) Only pick on little kids.

2) If you still get your arse served, exact revenge on very small animals.
 
2008-01-11 01:42:28 PM  
It's been a while since I've been in a fight but the ones I ended up in escalated into a fight so quickly there wasn't time to talk your way out or decide to run. Two guys jawing Yeah YEAH oh YEAH YEAH at each other rarely ended up in a knuckle drill
 
2008-01-11 01:42:52 PM  
fatal_exception: And I also dated a crazy chick for some time who'd start stuff on purpose at bars and clubs that would result in me fighting.

i think maybe i'd fight to defend her once.

the second time, i'd turn around and slap the shiat out of her and probably get a high five from the guy she'd pissed off.
 
2008-01-11 01:42:55 PM  
I've also read the Pooty Putin is one hell of a brawler. I wonder if it's true?


Ex-KGB, judo black belt.

I wouldn't mess with him.
 
2008-01-11 01:43:03 PM  
bruegel: If you really want to win a fight be a left handed person and fight a right handed person.

I'm left handed, and in my experience, at least 95% of the ass kickings I've taken have come from righties.
 
2008-01-11 01:43:26 PM  
I'm not sure I've ever seen a thread that demanded this image as much as this one.
www.bee-bee-baby.com
 
2008-01-11 01:43:27 PM  
DaShredda: My bad, I didn't know we need 100% instruction.

Keep your 'head' looking down, but keep your eyes focused on your opponent.

I thought that was assumed.


No worries. The poster I was originally respinding to had asked if it was necessary. I don't know anything abut fighting but I agree with you it seems an important tactic.
 
2008-01-11 01:44:41 PM  
How to win a fist fight? That's easy.

1. Pull gun
2. Shoot assailant in chest twice
3. Fight over

/CCW FTW
//People would start less fights if their were more people with guns.
 
2008-01-11 01:44:52 PM  
If you outlaw fists, only outlaws will have fists
 
2008-01-11 01:44:56 PM  
I am 6'2, 250 and strong, had my fair share of bar fights in younger days. I tend to wrestle because I don't like to really hurt people and it works for me.

I have a brother who is a freak, 6'10 and 375 and very quick for his weight. Knocked me out cold one night with a jab. I woke up with blood streaming out of my brow and never knew what hit me.

Want to win a fight? Never fight with somone who weighs 100 pounds or more than you, and had a ten foot reach and is angry. Oddest thing is, everytime he goes to a bar there is some 175 pound moron who thinks they can take him. They bleed.
 
2008-01-11 01:44:58 PM  
A short, strong kick to the knee from almost any angle can disable an opponent. A simple reap is an excellent way to send an opponent head-first into the floor. Move quickly abreast of him on the right after he's thrown a punch, placing your left foot slightly past his right foot; drive your upper body and right arm into his upper body to bring him off balance, and strike the back of his knees with your right leg. You can also grab his neck, pushing the chin upwards, with your right hand and drive him into the floor. You might get hit moving in, but it's worth it. Most folks don't know how to fall; odds are he probably won't get up.
 
2008-01-11 01:45:05 PM  
OscarTamerz: I saw the end result of fights working ERs in Detroit for 6 years and if you actually believe any of this crap you're a moron. For every broken face, mandible or zygoma we would see 20 broken hands, usually metacarpals which are known as boxer fractures for a very good reason. If you are hitting someone with a closed hand and it's not taped up and inside a boxing glove then expect it to break and you are stuck fighting one handed or even no handed although they hurt so much they're repaired under general anesthesia so it's pretty much the end of the fight for you. I did see some bilateral fractures where the second punch was thrown before the nerve impulses had been received from the first broken bone. You are going to find out who your friends are when you can't wipe your own ass for six weeks.

The reason for this is boxers don't hit with a bare knuckle style. Under the gloves, wraps, and tape they are maximizing the punch with the idea that they have that protection.

In 25 years of fighting and hitting things I have never broken a bone in my hand. It is because I started off learning to hit things barehanded. Sorry ITG story, I can break boards and bricks without even having to clinch my fist, and I knocked somebody out with a loose fist pretty easily once. However, I know how the bones align and what knuckles to use in whatever position I am hitting from.

I think it was Sugar Ray Robison who met Mas Oyama (founder of Kyokushin Karate, which is a bare knuckle style, called God Hand by many) and marvelled at the strength of his hands and wished he had that training and experience to compliment his boxing.

However, my wife sees lots of broken hands at her clinic after the weekend, just like you show. It is all in the training. But, then people fighting in bars over the weekend are usually idiots.

I haven't fought outside a ring since I was 19. I am 38 now.
 
2008-01-11 01:46:03 PM  
CycloneArmageddon:
DNo worries. The poster I was originally respinding to had asked if it was necessary. I don't know anything abut fighting but I agree with you it seems an important tactic.

One thing we learned was if you are fighting someone who doesn't have their head down, just stick your hand in their face.

They'll grab to pull it away.

That's when you punch them with your strong arm in the throat.
 
2008-01-11 01:46:06 PM  
plutoniumblond.files.wordpress.com
"Bow to your sensei!!!"
 
2008-01-11 01:46:07 PM  
overlord_mike: A random comment - a friend of mine taught me (and proved to me by doing it) that when grappling, if you poke at your opponent's rectum, he will let go of you to get away from your fingers/thumb. I don't know how well this would work in an actual fight, but it seems like a reflex.

The comment section has some funny remarks


yea but what if your opponent has tey ghey?
 
2008-01-11 01:46:18 PM  
Thunderpipes: Oddest thing is, everytime he goes to a bar there is some 175 pound moron who thinks they can take him. They bleed.


That time of the month can be biatch.
 
2008-01-11 01:46:20 PM  
rpa: Drakuun: Watch the show "Human Weapon" on History Channel if you want to under stand how body mechanics effect the way punches and kick are thrown. Seriously, tons of very scientific, and accurate advice and technique in that show.

bah, i learnt all my fightin' techniques from mah granpappy. he wuz golden gloves back in tha war.


I saw a clip once of a Brit youth going beserk running around in public assualting anyone he ran up on. Women, teens, it didn't matter who he hit. The last person he ran up to hit was an old man who couldn't have weighed 120 pounds. You could watch this old guy set himself, get his feet right then throw one punch that absolutely deflated the kid. Turns out the old guy was a boxing champion for the British Navy during WWII.
 
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