FARK.com: (3315291) Study demonstrates that primates pay for sex. It's not like she'd suck macaque for free

If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

Duplicate of another approved link. Great headline, though

		Study demonstrates that primates pay for sex. It's not like she'd suck macaque for free (time.com)		75
		More: Obvious

• • •

2198 clicks; Favorite

75 Comments (+0 »)

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

TeddyBallGame		2008-01-08 07:05:32 PM

I hate that I laughed at this one... but I did. It's like saying it in a New England accent.

Ghastly		2008-01-08 07:41:30 PM

+1 subby.

Artmerlyn		2008-01-08 09:07:32 PM

TeddyBallGame: I hate that I laughed at this one... but I did. It's like saying it in a New England accent.

It really is. +1

You were robbed, submitter.

/still chuckling

Venerable Bede		2008-01-08 11:00:03 PM

That was pretty golden subby.

docsigma		2008-01-09 02:37:47 PM

That this was not greenlit is ROBBERY. :(

tfm_copycat		2008-01-09 03:23:27 PM

docsigma: That this was not greenlit is ROBBERY. :(

THIS

Slash plus one

stop_the_presses		2008-01-09 09:08:30 PM

This was too good to waste.

/way late with the hate

scwewywabbit		2008-01-09 09:49:06 PM

hahahaha... see you at the 2008 award

ShaniquaDon'tLiveHereNoMo'		2008-01-09 09:49:07 PM

Why so surprising? Hell, the United States is pretty much the only western nation that bans prostitution.

Canada, UK, Australia, Germany, Holland, etc. All places where you can pay for sex, all places with lower crime rates than the U.S.

The_Sponge		2008-01-09 09:49:52 PM

How sad...turning tricks for bananas.

Witchydiva		2008-01-09 09:51:35 PM

+2 Subby! :)

The Grinch		2008-01-09 09:51:56 PM

Now THAT's how you write a headline! Early HOTY candidate, I'd say.

Wasicu		2008-01-09 09:51:57 PM

A++ headline subby. my first honest to God laugh at a headline so far this year.

libbyshome		2008-01-09 09:52:10 PM

Grooming?

Don't be silly. That's foreplay. Work on it.

aammaazzoonn		2008-01-09 09:52:22 PM

Submitter deserves a place in new-keyboard heaven.

skinink		2008-01-09 09:52:51 PM

I looked at the article headline, and it's not the Onion. Then I looked to see if it was April 1st. No go.

But then I guess it makes sense: either bribe her, or else she'll spank the monkey.

whitefalcon79		2008-01-09 09:53:46 PM

I've smiled at some headlines, I've chuckled at others. This was the first one I've actually bust a gut out loud at in a LONG time.

ElRonHubbardsBalls		2008-01-09 09:54:08 PM

Headline of the Year.

Take your bow subby.

Africanized TFer		2008-01-09 09:54:47 PM

heh, +1.

good show old chap.

fatassbastard		2008-01-09 09:56:41 PM

FTFA: "After the females were groomed by male partners, female sexual activity more than doubled, from an average of 1.5 times an hour to 3.5 times."

3.5 TIMES PER HOUR??

Dayum...

JohnBigBootay		2008-01-09 09:57:13 PM

Heh. Nice.

enkindle		2008-01-09 09:57:31 PM

I dunno, it doesn't really look like 'payment' so much as 'wooing'. Grooming is a social activity, isn't it? It's not paying someone for sex just because you hug them first/after. :P

Treygreen13		2008-01-09 09:58:48 PM

HOTY candidate. Definitely.

Hope it doesn't get lost because it's late.

hillarys strap on		2008-01-09 09:59:53 PM

who greenlights this shet?

//seriously

WillieStokes		2008-01-09 10:01:11 PM

So funny I needed rhesus citation.

LilDave		2008-01-09 10:01:48 PM

just snotted a coke ... thanks :-)

well played

Johnny the Man		2008-01-09 10:01:51 PM

libbyshome: Don't be silly. That's foreplay.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

I guess the article is more noteworthy/sensational if it talks about monkey prostitution, though.

shubai33		2008-01-09 10:02:06 PM

fatassbastard: FTFA: "After the females were groomed by male partners, female sexual activity more than doubled, from an average of 1.5 times an hour to 3.5 times."

3.5 TIMES PER HOUR??

Dayum...

That beats even my quality fap sessions per hour in the critical six hour window after an Alizee thread hits Fark!

antron		2008-01-09 10:03:11 PM

sillypuppy		2008-01-09 10:03:27 PM

Bravo, Subby!

I laughed out loud, for real.

/Even made my hubby look.

Valdes		2008-01-09 10:04:44 PM

Mine was:

Monkeys offer potential mates banannas for their banannas

the_colonel		2008-01-09 10:05:41 PM

I guess the world's oldest profession is older than we thought. If I ever get busted with a hooker I can blame evolution.

/that's my story and I'm sticking to it

Scutter		2008-01-09 10:07:05 PM

A++++++++++ headline. Would definitely read again!

Richard Saunders		2008-01-09 10:07:12 PM

+2 Subby

CanadianKnight		2008-01-09 10:10:54 PM

*HNORK!*

Thanks Subby! I just fired beer out my left nostril. That was a true LOL!

/gonna giggle all night
//macaque!

Melgania		2008-01-09 10:11:26 PM

shubai33:
That beats even my quality fap sessions per hour in the critical six hour window after an Alizee thread hits Fark!

I missed that thread. Thanks for the link.

And no, I did not just go and bookmark it to look at it again later. At home. In private. With the curtains drawn.

/not at all

empres77		2008-01-09 10:12:18 PM

HEADLINE of the YEAR

I guffaw'd

Seit_N_Zounde		2008-01-09 10:12:33 PM

Good 1+ Subby

First: I laughed.
Next: I cried
Then: I kissed my keyboard goodbye.

/Seriously it is covered in Bailey's and Coffee.

doyner		2008-01-09 10:12:42 PM

scwewywabbit: hahahaha... see you at the 2008 award

This.

*golf clap*

Out yourself, Subby. Even if you're 40Below, I shall bow to your greatness.

Dil Doe		2008-01-09 10:12:42 PM

Valdes: Mine was:

Monkeys offer potential mates banannas for their banannas

And that's why yours was not greenlit.

Poppa Boner		2008-01-09 10:12:55 PM

Headline rocked. Article was an absolute peice of crap. OMG grooming b4 mating!!!1! It must be prostimitution!!!11

walnuts55		2008-01-09 10:13:45 PM

Nice work LOL

AcornMan		2008-01-09 10:14:02 PM

You know what would REALLY be funny? Finding out that bevets is the submitter.

Roger Wilco		2008-01-09 10:14:42 PM

Ha!

Choestoe		2008-01-09 10:15:06 PM

Cracking good headline ol' boy! Simply smashing! Who would have thought one could get such humor out of monkeys rogering each other?

LukeA		2008-01-09 10:15:27 PM

<Italian accent>Suck a macaque</Italian accent>

Falcc		2008-01-09 10:17:08 PM

I'm lost here. It looks like a word similar to cock. Where's the huge laugh? Somebody fill me in so I can mourn the far superior joke I missed.

Would it help if I looked it up?

TeddyBallGame		2008-01-09 10:22:03 PM

Falcc: I'm lost here.

A macaque is a monkey... Get it now?

Bucky Katt		2008-01-09 10:23:09 PM

you always have to pay, one way or another...

bdsterne		2008-01-09 10:23:12 PM

Falcc: I'm lost here. It looks like a word similar to cock. Where's the huge laugh? Somebody fill me in so I can mourn the far superior joke I missed.

Would it help if I looked it up?

It's ok. I had to have an online dictionary with a .wav file of the pronunciation to help me understand why it was funny. The best part is it was like a 1 second clip and my player was on repeat.

/+1 subby
//glad I wasn't the only one who didn't get it at first

Displayed 50 of 75 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

Redisplay/refresh comments

This thread is closed to new comments.