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(Weekly World News)   Scientists find tiny alien space probe, may hail from a tiny planet   ( divider line
    More: Unlikely  
•       •       •

1716 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Oct 2002 at 8:58 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

33 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-10-18 02:03:19 PM  
What planet is the small probe from?

Wait for it....

Uranus! Thank you, I'll be here all week.
2002-10-18 02:09:09 PM  
I suspect Klingons.

I like how they were able to snap a pic of it in some random guy's hand before it was "whisked away to Area 51."
2002-10-18 03:27:18 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-18 05:26:54 PM  
Yawn. Going back to reading the National Enquirer. Seems to be a bit more believable.
2002-10-18 07:40:27 PM  
At least we don't have to worry about these aliens anally probing us.

Unless they have some sort of buttplug star cruiser or something.
2002-10-18 09:03:38 PM  
Please sir, if you will, draw me a sheep!
2002-10-18 09:04:54 PM  
And the Uranus {spelled that wrong I think} will begin in...Oh, wait, there's one now...!
2002-10-18 09:06:12 PM  
This was in an old EC comic.. they ended up eating the alien ship because it landed in a hot-dog... (yawn..)
2002-10-18 09:08:36 PM  
ummm 60,000 miles isnt that far at all....the circumfrence of the earth is 27,000 miles, so if there really was an alien space insect/ship it would of came from somewhere on the earth or the area directly around the earth, maybe they should of thought about that a little more
2002-10-18 09:10:37 PM  
HEY! That's my toothpick!
2002-10-18 09:13:35 PM  
The other space ships were eaten by a small dog. This type of thing happens all the time. But we are powerless to do anything about it.
2002-10-18 09:24:34 PM  
So when is it going to become illegal on Fark for WWN articles to be labelled as anything other than SATIRE? It's driving me up a wall. It's Satire. Label it as such.
2002-10-18 09:25:22 PM  
Not if the dog has already been given a cheese sandwich, though. A dog that has met its sandwich will safely ignore a passing microscopic space fleet.
2002-10-18 09:28:46 PM  
The UFO was discovered over Washington after triggering a highly classified new defense system. Air Force planes quickly took to the air to escort the damaged craft as it gradually lost power and fell to the ground on the lawn in front of the White House
Now, that's funny.
2002-10-18 09:31:07 PM  
That's pretty funny, and original (at least for me).
2002-10-18 09:50:28 PM  
From another WWN article.

Here are 10 new ways terrorists plan to kill innocent civilians like you:

1. Knock on the door. When you answer, they shoot you.
2. Approach you on a crowded street and ask for directions. When you turn your back, they stab you with an ice pick.
2. Visit you on the job, claiming to be an inspector. When you show them your work space, they shoot you.
4. As you nap outside curled up on your lawn chair, they pour molten wax over your face.
5. Disguise themselves as pizza deliverymen and serve you poison pizzas.
6. Stand behind you in an elevator and slit your throat.
7. Set fire to your house as you and your family sleep at night.
8. When you're in a darkened movie theater, strangle you from behind.
9. As you drive on the highway, run you off the road so you crash in the most violent way possible.
10. Wait until you're doing your Christmas shopping at the mall. Open fire with an assault rifle and kill you and everyone else in sight.
2002-10-18 10:10:45 PM  
I've seen better Photoshops than that on this site. Every day. Several times a day.
2002-10-18 10:34:45 PM  
Farkley_crusher- my top ten is much more imaginative I think:(reverse order for the suspense factor)
1: set up a nationwide super secret organisation(SSO) like the Free Masons(TM) to manipulate governmental policies.
2: let all members and everyone else know that the SSO has your name on their list(NOTL).
3: Accomplish step two by planting hidden web cameras connected to a central office(CO) that connect to a central server(CS)that will only allow connections to an approved ISP(AISP).
4: Allow connections to the video feed(VF) from the AISP to selected members of the SSO connected to the CO.
5: require that feed back to the specified name on the list be done only in metaphors.
6: Tell them(NOTL) to get off the phone and quit jamming the phone line.

all right my idea sucks...
2002-10-18 10:46:10 PM  
On second thought, I think I will patent the idea aforementioned.Assuming the ET aliens haven't already.....
2002-10-18 10:55:18 PM  
ya... this from a newspaper that said a bat boy existed and that it matured from a very young freak to a teenager freak within like, a year? The newspaper that said the same bat boy supported a politician...? KOOL!!!!!! Where do I sign up? Errr... I mean, OH NEVERMIND lol
2002-10-18 10:55:22 PM  
Death Zero

It's not always satire.. it's hillbilly logic/research, weird truth (sometimes it is true) and sometimes it's just bizarre. In fact... I don't think they think it's satire.
2002-10-18 11:05:16 PM  
Okay, so, a spaceship shaped like a bottle top lands in your yard (*zung-zung-zung-zung*) and a ramp extends (*vrrrtttttt*) and six aliens shaped like coke cans (with arms and legs and such) troop out and form a six-pack. An alien shaped like a sixteen-ounce bottle strides out and walks up to you, tips his cap and says, "Take me to your liter."
2002-10-18 11:07:18 PM  
area 51 is supposed to be in new mexico, not nevada.
2002-10-18 11:16:56 PM  
It's not satire, it's a tabloid. Some are obviously false, some are clearly made just for laughs. Some are believed by people.

For example, the guy who believes we never landed on the moon (or rather, the leader of the many guys like that) thanked Weekly World News for being the only paper to publish his research without any alterations. He seems to honestly believe his theory.

Weekly World News is really a favorite of mine. It has some crappy writers, but it has a few good stories from time to time.

None of it is real though... Except for Batboy. He really is out there, and he really does have a crush on our president's daughter.
2002-10-18 11:32:13 PM  
i think i remember seeing a weekly world news show on tv a while back
i want to think it was on discovery but i think i'm probabily wrong

any body remember the show?
2002-10-18 11:46:10 PM  
Yup... I think I've seen that on Teli-Tubbies.

Little itsy bitsy probe, from an itsy bitsy planet for itsey bitsy people. Bend over Jerry F.
2002-10-19 12:06:47 AM  
Batboy endorsed Al Gore in 2000.
In 2001 he joined the marines and was sent on a hush-hush mission to seek out Bin Laden...

...later that month the American Media building (WWN HQ)in Florida tested positve for anthrax...

Truth is always stranger than fiction.
2002-10-19 02:29:11 AM  
Actually Area-51 is supposed to be in northern nevada, not new mexico.

Weekly world news show was on the USA network. For like maybe 4 episodes before it tanked.

There is no Batboy, he is not in my marine corps, we did land on the moon and WWN should just all have a STUPID tag on it.
2002-10-19 02:58:01 AM  
Riiight. And Spirit should have a "My sense of humor is equivalent to that of a Nazi storm trooper who was beaten up by clowns and stand-up comics when he was a child." tag.

Of farking course there is no Batboy, Einstein! Of course he didn't join the marines! Have a sense of humor or an imagination for god's sake!

The only thing worst then people who honestly believe tabloids are people who feel the urge to scream that obviously faked stories aren't real and are stupid. People who yell "There's no Batboy" deserve to be kicked in the leg, or possibly the arm.
2002-10-19 03:10:56 AM  
WOW! I mean, WOW! Tiny aliens! I KNEW it!

And, you poor, foolish, doubting ones, Batboy most certainly exists -- he used to live right next door to me until the publicity got too much for him.

Its idiots like you that refuse to believe the world is flat.

I pity you all.
2002-10-19 03:37:11 AM  
I think I read this in 'The Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe' but my dog ate it ... :)
2002-10-19 06:49:25 AM  
What's not to believe? I saw the same kind of stuff on that documentary. What was it called? Oh yeah. Men In Black
2002-10-19 03:58:49 PM  
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