Uh... I declare this a Ron Paul thread!

I will never understand these articles, but I love Fark for pointing them out to me.

Also, THIS

I'm glad, because I like to avoid news articles that physically pain me. No paper cuts for this man! Suck it Hearst

Ouch!

lying son of a biatch!

Canada.com?

"This won't hurt a bit"?

Clearly we're meant to debate health-care in this thread!

(or discuss things we did to ourselves that hurt quite a bit. one time i had my fingers in the hole of a bagel that i sliced through. the doctor who stitched my fingers up had to keep stopping to chuckle over how stupid i was.)

They lied. It hurts. It hurts real bad.
/And it kind of burns

My cat's name is Mittens.

That's what I always tell em just before I jam my dick up their ass.

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

nt

am i missing something? the article is blank..

//This Won't Hurt a Bit
//Calgary Herald
//Published: Monday, January 07, 2008

//NO TEXT

//© The Calgary Herald 2008

uhh.. what? I get "NO TEXT"

FreshMexAZ: uhh.. what? I get "NO TEXT"

look at the title at the top of your browser.

-14°C? BRRRRR!

// trying to enjoy. Not real sure what to think.

Whew, thanks, canada.com. I am so relieved.

/root canal at noon today

"This won't hurt a bit"

/Right up there with "I won't C*m in your mouth"...

I was going to link to a related video but all I found was.



Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna run around and desert you
Never gonna make you cry
Never gonna say goodbye
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you


/ooooh rickroll'd
//ooooh snap

What did the man say to the baby seal?

Hooray. Now I can say "DNRTFA" and no one can get mad at me.

"NO TEXT" won't hurt a bit. How true.

I like it. Journalism Avant-garde. I hope someone is taking notes.

Where's my ricknroll?

I feel deceived.

Seinfeld thread?

JonnyBGoode: -14°C? BRRRRR!

That, on the other hand, will hurt.

more right wing propaganda

My ex-dentist told me that once when he did a root canal on a tooth with a live nerve and no novocaine.

tl;dr

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Fusce ac ante. Pellentesque quis ante quis lacus euismod cursus. Morbi non mauris laoreet lacus aliquam interdum. Donec pretium velit consequat quam. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec id lacus. Nulla commodo ornare mi. Mauris quis nibh eget risus suscipit viverra. Cum sociis natoque penatibus et magnis dis parturient montes, nascetur ridiculus mus. Donec quam massa, pretium porttitor, cursus eget, rhoncus ut, enim. Suspendisse vitae felis. Morbi imperdiet, elit non rutrum blandit, sem turpis auctor velit, at tristique orci libero consectetuer mi. Vivamus sed mauris. Aliquam vestibulum aliquam lacus.

SmitetheRighteous: My cat's name is Mittens.

ertznay: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

My cat is dead.

I don't know. It hurts a little to me...

How excellent would it be if that was all the news today. No casualties in Iraq or Afghanistan, no fallout of a stolen election in Kenya, no planet hurtling towards global warming, no kids poisoned by factory pollution, no fighting in Congo or Darfur, no murders, no bombings, no human trafficking, ... basically the world took a pass on evil and self-destruction.

Something tells me that my morning skim of the NYT and BBC news won't be much different than usual.

/Wow, ignorance really IS bliss!
//I can has igznorance for a few hourz?

SmitetheRighteous: My cat's name is Mittens.

ertznay: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Jamieboy: My cat is dead.

danny_kay: My cat doesn't exist.

I sometimes pretend my hand is a cat and pet it so I don't feel so lonely.

bobbette: //I can has igznorance for a few hourz?

No, cannot has. Not yours.

danny_kay: SmitetheRighteous: My cat's name is Mittens.

ertznay: My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Jamieboy: My cat is dead.

My cat doesn't exist.

My cat is in a box with a Geiger counter and a radioactive substance that may or may not have decayed and set off a series of event that leads to shattering a flask of hydrocyanic acid. Someone go check if he's dead.

Boobies please

TTIWWOP

Great. Another news story full of grammatical errors and misspellings. I am so sick of this shiat.

"No Text"

OK, so I backtracked (insomnia strikes again, I'm bored) to the main site to see if I could see another story with that headline. Thinking, maybe it's a duplicate story, and the real story is someplace else. Didn't see that headline. Then I went to the "city" (local news) section, and found another headline with "NO TEXT" under it here:

http://www.canada.com/calgaryherald/news/city/index.html

which, if you click on the headline, goes here:

http://www.canada.com/calgaryherald/news/city/story.html?id=83b878de-6992-46f0-8 030-f8b6365fb775

... which is another blank.

I apologize for not making it pop. (I do, however, know how to send text messages. GOML, etc.)

I need sleep.

This is the type of news story that proves all of Drew's theories about the media wrong!!!! Take that, internet website rich guy!

That was easily the best article I've ever read. I hope the author was paid by the letter.