Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(CNN)   If you are going to kill your girlfriend, stuff her mumified remains in the closet, and hide out in Europe for 17 years, don't blame it on on the CIA and a secret mind control weapon   ( divider line
    More: Followup  
•       •       •

227 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Oct 2002 at 5:45 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

67 Comments     (+0 »)

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-10-17 05:48:50 PM  
Dammit my headline was short and to the point! :)
2002-10-17 05:49:02 PM  
Justice finally served...the world has seen few asshats bigger than Einhorn...
2002-10-17 05:49:19 PM  
I would agree, but they would come and get me.
2002-10-17 05:50:15 PM  
damn the secret of the CIA mind control weapon is out!
2002-10-17 05:50:34 PM  
"Mister Einhorn, meet Bubba, your new cellmate."

"Bubba, meet your new biatch!"
2002-10-17 05:51:07 PM  
That Lynne Abraham lady looks alot like the miserable old cow lady on that bus.
2002-10-17 05:53:34 PM  
It seems that celebrities have always been stupid. And here I thought it was just the ats of today like Baldwin (pick one), Barbra Streisand, and the like.

I predict that a hippie/liberal/socalist vs normal people flamewar will comence in under 25 posts.
2002-10-17 05:54:33 PM  
I seem to remember reading something somewhere that made a fairly good case for him...
Ahh.. screw it, give'im the chair.
2002-10-17 05:54:42 PM  
I didn't kill her you fools! I had knowledge of a secret mind control weapon! I was silenced by the CIA! I cried OSAMA WHERE ART THOU?

/cut to: the final scene in Angelheart, when he's in the elevator going down...
2002-10-17 05:55:37 PM  
by the way, ats = asshats in Timbernease
2002-10-17 05:57:39 PM  
He is a shiatbag. I hope that he gets gang raped twice daily.
2002-10-17 05:57:45 PM  
It took years for the French to extradite this dickwad. If I'm not mistaken, we had to take the death penalty off the table for them to do it.
2002-10-17 06:00:34 PM  
Here's a mugshot of that guy. Just screaming photoshop....

[image from too old to be available]
2002-10-17 06:00:43 PM  
(in monotone voice) He is guilty. The CIA has no such device as a mind control weapon. That is all.

*shakes head*

Huh? Wha?

2002-10-17 06:01:02 PM  
Come on now, the CIA doesn't have a mind control device like that, and if they did, they wouldn't use it on citizens, and if they did they would tell us, right?

Stop it you're scaring me!
2002-10-17 06:04:57 PM  
Thank God this headline stopped me from killing my girlfriend, stuffing her mummified body in a closet, hide in Europe for 17 years,and then blaming it on the CIA and thier mind control device...
2002-10-17 06:05:02 PM  
I am so glad they finally got him. I grew up in the Philly suburbs and as long as I can remember the DA Lynn Abraham was busting her ass to find him, then when they did, to get the stoooopid french asshats to extradite him. And yes, I think htey had to take the death penalty off the table to get him, even though he had been tried in absentia and convicted and sentenced to death.

Each year in Phila. a local radio station has a tomato growing contest. After the judging, participants get to pelt a huge billboard featuring this monster's likeness with their killer tomatoes, as well as a billboard of Philly's other notorious justice-evader Mumia Abu Jamal. It's a fun time.
2002-10-17 06:06:23 PM  
"It took years for the French to extradite this dickwad. If I'm not mistaken, we had to take the death penalty off the table for them to do it."

Actually, the sticking point wasn't the death penalty, but rather the fact that he was tried in abstentia in 1993(?). Since the French (go screw yourselves, you goddam frogs) don't approve of such things, the Pennsylvania legislature had to pass a special law granting him a new trial. Then the French decided to hand him over.

I have no idea if the death penalty was an issue prior to 1993.
2002-10-17 06:06:23 PM  
Ladies and gentlemen,

Ira Einhorn's Yahoo Profile complete with his email address:
2002-10-17 06:07:13 PM  
I stand by my oft-repeated statement that Fark needs a "scumbag" tag. I'm glad they finally got him, though, asswipe that he is.

Besides, if he knew CIA secrets that They Don't Want You To Know, wouldn't it be a lot easier just to kill him?
2002-10-17 06:07:44 PM  
Oh yeah, Ebell is right on, that's how it went down.
2002-10-17 06:07:47 PM  
I read about this case in one of John Walsh's books. One sick motherfarker. Kinda ironic 'cause hippies were supposedly for peace and everything, and this guy believes in domestic violence.

Hope he enjoys Bubba!
2002-10-17 06:08:08 PM  
Einhorn will go into protective custody and most likely won't be released into general pop. Because of his education, he'll get a decent job (better than the laundry) and he'll end up as some guard's lap dog. (Think Shawshank) His time will be easy by comparison to the trauma Holly suffered.
2002-10-17 06:08:32 PM  
(in same monotone voice) Of course they would not use a mind control device on the general public, and if they would, they would tell us.

*shakes head again*

Ack! Is anyone else having these weird blackouts?
2002-10-17 06:08:59 PM  
Oh and he represents himself as the unicorn because his name means one-horn. I hope his cellmates know this stuff ...
2002-10-17 06:10:13 PM  
Wait, hold everything! Didn't you all read the Yahoo profile Coelacanth posted! In the "Latest News" section?

Latest News: On trial for murder I did not commit.

That's good enough for me! Let the man go!
2002-10-17 06:10:28 PM  
Thanks for the clarification Ebell.

The French still suck.
2002-10-17 06:13:09 PM  
Sheesh, just because his girlfriend's body was found all hacked up in his suitcase in the closet of his apartment, and he was on the run for the law for almost 20 years, people automatically assume he's guilty.

How typical
2002-10-17 06:13:56 PM  
Didnt this guy try to slit his own througt when he was being extradited and then gave an interview to press while bleeding?
2002-10-17 06:14:10 PM  

Yeah, I blacked out for a second. It couldn't have been my sweet self that bludgeoned my girlfriend muttering 'Nixon' under my breath. It just couldn't be. I think I'll take the stand in my own defense.
2002-10-17 06:15:23 PM  
We should have threatened to invade France. They would have surrendered much quicker.
2002-10-17 06:16:11 PM  
Oh and he represents himself as the unicorn because his name means one-horn.

Emotionless killer.
Mind control?

Memories... you're talking about memories!

2002-10-17 06:17:08 PM  
I always knew we could count on the French to surrender . . him.
2002-10-17 06:21:23 PM  
Ah, good. At least I'm not the only one, then.

Whelp... time to don my trusty tinfoil helm of righteousness once again...
2002-10-17 06:21:35 PM  
10-17-02 06:13:56 PM Tjohnson
Didnt this guy try to slit his own througt when he was being extradited and then gave an interview to press while bleeding?

Yes, he did. It was a pu55y attempt tho - just a flesh wound.
2002-10-17 06:22:11 PM  
wait... you might be conspiring to find out what I know..

I'm onto you, you know!

2002-10-17 06:22:40 PM  
They're not your memories, they're someone else's -- Tyrell's niece.

Nice, MorePeasPlease.
2002-10-17 06:24:51 PM  
Ebell - right on. Of course, if the jerk hadn't illegally fled the country, he wouldn't have been tried in absentia, which seemed lost on the asshats in France.

Tjohnson - he cut his throat very superficially before being flown over from France. Always the drama queen, he is...
2002-10-17 06:26:46 PM  
And he'd have gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids and their tinfoil hats!
2002-10-17 06:32:11 PM  
Guess France just wanted to prove that they DON'T surrender quickly.

I've always hated that whole extradition crap.
2002-10-17 06:32:16 PM  
Seriously, can you imagine being a juror on this trial? OK, time to deliberate. Anybody buy that mind control crap? Didn't think so. Wanna play cards?
2002-10-17 06:37:01 PM  
His story falls to pieces because he claims that "Einhorn said he last saw the 30-year-old Maddux on September 11, 1977. He was taking a bath in the Philadelphia apartment they shared."

Everyone knows that Hippies like Einhorn don't take baths.
2002-10-17 06:38:50 PM  
I've taken the stand in my own defense to tell you the things I know about the C.I.A.

hilarity insues
2002-10-17 06:39:28 PM  

Yeah, you'd like to think so.
You just KNOW there was one person who said, "Hey everybody, how DO WE KNOW there isn't a mind control device?" (Therefore extending deliberations an extra 3 hours)
2002-10-17 06:47:05 PM  
Then again when I sent an IM about this to a colleague, he replied "well, imagine this guy, his wife dies, his DNA's all over the place, his gloves are covered in blood, he has no alibi and he's a known wife beater on top of all that."

I guess The Unicorn didn't have enough dosh to afford Johnny Cochran & the Dream Team.
2002-10-17 06:48:21 PM  


"Einhorn Murdered Holly M., Doo-dah, Doo-dah. Don't trust hippie scum again, oh-dee-doo-dah-day."


Oh well. At least this dried up old dicklicker is about to spend the rest of his miserable life being ass-raped in the shower. Sayonara, douchebag!
2002-10-17 06:51:13 PM  
How do you save fifty hippies from drowning in a river?

Throw a bar of soap in.
2002-10-17 06:54:06 PM  
Dear Mr. Einhorn,

You're going to be raped in the ass by men on a daily basis. You'll be forced to wear lipstick and women's underwear. Your life is now worth precisely one carton of cigarettes.


Life's sense of black humor.
2002-10-17 07:09:13 PM  
"Finkle... is Einhorn... Einhorn is Finkle... Einhorn... IS A MAN!"

I can't believe I made the first reference to this movie...
2002-10-17 07:30:23 PM  
i'm a Pa. guy, too, and i've been following this for years. Einhorn is so guilty he's gone beyond guilty to not guilty. wait....

seriously, he is a dangerously psycotic svengali-type asshat who deserves all he's getting.

Challenge to farkers with HTML skillz: post the photo of Einhorn nekkid that appeared in Esquire a year or two back.
Displayed 50 of 67 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.