Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Some Guy)   Some farker wants to know what your fondest/scariest/funniest Halloween memory is. With voting. Link goes to   ( divider line
    More: Survey  
•       •       •

63 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Oct 2002 at 6:50 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

132 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

2002-10-16 04:09:54 PM  
One year, not long ago, I dressed up as the Texas Chainsaw do0d. Even had a running chainsaw without the chain to scare the shiat outta people with. It worked well.

Same year, my friend and I went to a party, I again was Chainsaw do0d, my friend had on his girlfriend's shear white, thong back, teddy. She's also about 3/4 his size.

The party we attended ? Ended up being a 60's themed party, filled with teachers and staff from a Mormon school.
Again, note my friend's costume. I have a pic, but it's at home.... I'll have to post it in about 5 hrs.

A lady, kinda hot and older, was willing to pay us $100 (hey, it was the power bill!) for us to strip and change clothes right then and there on the back patio. Her husband wouldn't go out and get her check book she said. yeah, right. We called her bluff and she folded.

As we were leaving, walking through the house I could feel the stares. One, because we weren't dressed 60's style. Two, my friends ass and sack had been showing all night long. (he even would bend over and pick up my chainsaw with his ass at the glass sliding door when people tried to come outside. Needless to say, we were pretty much the only ones out back) Anyways, on our way out, as others stared, I fired up the chainsaw in the house and scared the shiat out of about 20 people. They didn't think it was real.

We left there and went to the Hardrock, to which I found out, security didn't think to fondly of the chainsaw running at the main bar. Night was over.

fun, fun, night. ;)
2002-10-16 04:35:41 PM  
I built a HUGE robot costume in 2000, which had me standing on two 35 gallon drums as my feet/legs, drain pipes for arms, working claw hands, the whole 9 yards. I am a freaking specticle, with people in the streets running to see and take pictures of the huge crazy robot guy.

So, in 2001, after keeping this monstrosity in my garage for a whole year, i suit up with some friends in my closed garage, who were then to open the door and watch me stagger into the glorious evening. Well, when my friend opened the big door, it rolled up and curved back alongs the tracks, slamming me right in the head, and causing me to fall over like old timber. Stunned silence was the only reaction of my friends, as they were sure I was finally* dead, only broken by my intense, nonstop laughter. Not only wasn't I dead, i wasnt even hurt. The suit had been unintentionally designed to absorb the impact of a backward fall, and I landed like a feather (inside.) Well, long story short, my wife FORBADE me to put the suit back on, and I spent the rest of the night walking around as "the guy with the drink in his hand" watching my kids trick or treat.

This year we are doing "Road Warrior" I will post pix of both on a future post.

* We are a wacky bunch, so wacky I already know it will say "death by misadventure" on my death certificate. The timing is unimportant; not looking like a total ass is the hard part.
2002-10-16 04:36:52 PM  
I hate Halloween.
Way back when, dressed up as a pirate, on a rainy night.
So there I was, filling my paper grocery sack up with plunder. Of course the paper sack was draggin on the wet sidewalk, and a hole developed and the candy fell out. But I did'nt realize it until I got home. I haven't been the same (sane?) since. Boo f'in Hoo.
2002-10-16 04:50:15 PM  
When I was maybe 6-7 years old, my dad and I both went to a Halloween party dressed as Incredible Hulks. He really went the extra mile on his costume, actually wearing green bodypaint and some old, ripped-up clothes. Turns out the gimmick was a little too good, as...

a) he proceeded to scare the daylights out of the other kids at the party, to the point where he eventually started telling them he was the Jolly Green Giant, and...

b) the bodypaint wouldn't come off after the party. And he had an important meeting the next day at work.

To make a long story short he was smart enough to concentrate on scrubbing it off his face and hands, and the meeting went off without a hitch. He always liked to joke that he was peeing green for weeks and weeks afterwards though. ;)
2002-10-16 04:50:51 PM  
hmmmm.. usually an emptying bag gets LIGHTER !
2002-10-16 06:07:02 PM  
When I was 12, I had these really biatchy rich neigbors. The kind that hate everybody who doesn't have as much money as them. Their house was about 200 feet from ours (in the middle of a redwood forest, so there's barely any visibility) and about 50' lower elevation... Anyway, this one year I was particularly pissed off at the m for some reason and decided to get revenge. I went to our local party supply store and bought this HUGE inflatable plastic pumpkin( 3 1/2' diameter or so ) for 25$. On halloween night I got over on their roof, stuck the pumpkin on top of their chimney and filled it with water from the hose on their back porch. So this huge orange pumpkin was sitting on top of their chimney, almost about to burst, they come home and start a fire. As soon as the chimney heats up a bit, the bottom of the pumpkin bursts,sending 30+ gallons of water straight down onto the fire and into their house. I could hear the screams from my porch..

I *really* wish I could've seen what that looked like from the inside..
2002-10-16 06:54:37 PM  
Uh isnt Halloween in like two weeks. Kinda gettin a lil excited arent we with the Halloween articles and the like.

That chick is one stupid fellow though.
2002-10-16 06:55:24 PM  
walking in on my parents in my room on my bed with my CANDY,
2002-10-16 06:55:28 PM  
When I was a kid we had this big ass 6ft long Burmese Python. So on Halloween my old man would have it hang over his shoulders while he answered the door to give candy to the kiddies. Every now and again one would run away screaming, good stuff.
2002-10-16 06:55:45 PM  
Well, this didn't happen to ME, but it's still pretty funny! (Check out the video, too!)
2002-10-16 06:56:06 PM  
Halloween is the biggest piece of crap holiday ever.

1. No day off.
2. I cant go Trick-or-Treating anymore... umm..
3. I dont see what's so cool with scaring stuff.
4. Happy Ghost/Witches/Dracula decorations are lame and stupid.
2002-10-16 06:56:28 PM  
2002-10-16 06:57:35 PM  
2002-10-16 06:58:07 PM  
One year I left a bowl of candy out and sprayed the kids that 'took more than one' with a hose.
2002-10-16 06:58:45 PM  
When I was young and had a little brother a bit younger than me, my parents thought it would be safer to go to CHUCK E. CHEESES for Halloween than to go Trick Or we did. I went dressed as a giant pumpkin. Now I was sitting in a racing game and REALLY had to pee...but I paid good money and didn't feel like getting I simply held it and held it till the inevitable...I pissed myself and all over the inside of the racing game. While at the same time, my younger brother put his finger into one of the skeeball chutes...and ended up getting a broken finger. Yeah mom and dad, one pissed kid and one broken finger later CHUCK E. CHEESES is a lot safer than trick or treating. (By the way, we went trick or treating ever year after)
2002-10-16 07:01:09 PM  
I was at a halloween party with an ex of mine. She was pretty wasted and went in the bathroom to splash some water on her face to help sober up a bit. She bent down towards the sink and her long hair fell into a candle and...FOOF!!! (She had to get a bob cut the next day." Pretty darn funny. Then, on the way home she decided to digitally manipulate herself in the car while I was driving and then took care of me in an oral way after she was finished.

Good memories. REAL GOOD MEMORIES!!!!!!
2002-10-16 07:02:04 PM  
I was at a halloween party with an ex of mine. She was pretty wasted and went in the bathroom to splash some water on her face to help sober up a bit. She bent down towards the sink and her long hair fell into a candle and...FOOF!!! (She had to get a bob cut the next day." Pretty darn funny. Then, on the way home she decided to digitally manipulate herself in the car while I was driving and then took care of me in an oral way after she was finished.

Good memories. REAL GOOD MEMORIES!!!!!!

With improved voting!!!
2002-10-16 07:02:56 PM  
I could tell my scariest story, but it would really put a damper on the subject.

I don't celebrate Halloween anymore.
2002-10-16 07:03:26 PM  
Late '60's, I was 11, my best friend's sister was a real mean biatch who was the leader of the "Greaser" type group in the high school - meanest biatch in the valley for sure. It was just about dark, I was trick'or'treating alone (I always had 3 costume changes so I could go back to the good houses for extra candy, was only on the second costume, dammit!)and I saw her and her girlies out looking for trouble. I said something crude and 11-ish about her face, and they chased me through the neighborhood. I had to hide. Finally got into someone's house and asked them to call my mom to come get me, and didn't get any more farking candy that night. That girl would have killed me under cover of dark (hell, she said that she would if she caught me!) and left me in a sewer to rot - she was that mean and I knew it.

wonder where she is now. It was St. Louis/Crestwood and she was Carol Miller. And I read her diary and still remember stuff from it. Nyah nyah.
2002-10-16 07:04:20 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Vaginas can be funny and sometimes scary, but nearly always a fond memory.
2002-10-16 07:05:06 PM  
Back during "Zippergate" I dressed up as Clinton and the girl I was dating at the time dressed as Monica complete to the stained blue dress. We added a beret and kneepads to her outfit and I carried a huge cigar in my pocket. Anway we went bar hopping and got really drunk. Ended up re-enacting the whole shibang. Cigar got a little soggy, but damn it was fun. I ended up leaving the cigar at some bar. Too this day I've wondered if anybody smoked it. Heh heh.
2002-10-16 07:05:49 PM  
My mom made me a Casper costume. I looked like the Grande Wizard of the KKK. I lived in Detroit. Need I say more?
2002-10-16 07:06:43 PM  
My mom made me a Casper costume. I looked like the Grande Wizard of the KKK. I lived in Detroit. Need I say more?
2002-10-16 07:06:44 PM  
Probably the scariest Halloween for the trick-or-treaters in my neighborhood was about 6 or 7 years ago. My grandmother was living with us after coming home from the hospital (ironically she went in on a Friday the 13th). Well, we knew that she was gonna go soon, we just didn't know when. Halloween rolls around and I'm getting my costume together to go T&Ting in my friend's neighborhood where the candy was good. About 5pm, my mom comes upstairs and tells me that my grandma's dead. I was sad, but when I went to see her, she wasn't totally dead yet. Well, she was by the time the kids came around ringin the doorbell. And so did the hearse (sp?). So we ended up wheeling my dead grandma out to the driveway and loading her into the hearse in front of a neighborhood full of kids. They were all like "OOOH, that's the scariest house yet." No one realized it as a REAL dead person. hehe kinda funny in hindsight, but it wasn't at the time.
2002-10-16 07:08:12 PM  
Funnest experience of Halloween: I lived in Alaska when I was growing up, and we would always seem to get a nice sheet of freezing rain just before Halloween. Me and my friends one year were trick-or-treating in this nasty weather and came to a house full of people that wouldn't open their door, not even to tell us if they didn't have candy. Finally we decided to trick them.
My friend found a house on the side of their porch and detached it, and then turned on the water. And then we ran like hell, both of us slipping on the ice and falling. When they finally got out the front door to chase after us, their porch was either too wet to walk on or frozen already, because they slipped and fell down their porch stairs. "That's why it's called trick-or-treating!!!"
2002-10-16 07:08:50 PM  
Last year on Oct 31. I did something really scary . I got married.

[image from too old to be available]

One year anniversary is even more terrifying.
2002-10-16 07:09:44 PM  
My Mom was a selfish drunk and grounded me over petty shiat for 3 years in a row, so she did not have to take me out. That's not the funny part...the funny part will be in about 20 years when she's dressed up for the Halloween party at her STATE-RUN nursing home!!! HA HA HA
2002-10-16 07:10:06 PM  
I'll never forget that dark autumn night when the Bad Man took me behind the bushes at the schoolyard and made me play with his puppet until it spit at me. It's wasn't even Halloween.
2002-10-16 07:12:54 PM  
Jiroe53 wins already. Maybe.
2002-10-16 07:14:09 PM  
Eatting a candy bar that had a tiny fish hook in it. It got lodged in my throght and I had to have emergency sergery. I lost my voice and never caught the person who did it.

This is 100% true.
2002-10-16 07:15:06 PM  
Eatting a candy bar that had a tiny fish hook in it. It got lodged in my throght and I had to have emergency sergery. I lost my voice and never caught the person who did it.

This is 100% true.

(this time with voting)
2002-10-16 07:16:26 PM  
When I was a little kid, my friend's dad painted his head gray and green like a zombie. He sat inside a cardboard box from a large appliance with a hole cut in the top and a tablecloth over it, so the whole thing looked like it was a severed head on a table. They placed a bowl of candy in front of him with a small sign that said "Please only take one". He was bald, and with all of that makeup on he didn't look real. Kids would come up, laugh at the sign and start to fill their bags - and at that point he'd open his eyes and say "ONLY TAKE ONE!" Kids would drop their bags and run off screaming. It was great.
2002-10-16 07:17:20 PM  
Halloween is my anniversary! 3 years ago i whinned to my (now) boyfriend on the phone and told him to ditch his geeky star trek/goth costumed friends and meet me at a sports bar cuz i was lookin cute. That night was our first date...and now we live happily ever after :)
(ps...this is my Boobies on fark! hiya guys!)
2002-10-16 07:17:47 PM  
I was about 10, and was out Trick or Treating when I went up to this one house, and the guy who answered was wearing a Grim Reaper costume, one of those ones with black mesh over the face and two glowing red lights where the eyes are... are just saw the two red eyes coming down the hall, and the guy answered the door and I just took off... I was afraid of everything back in the day, though.
2002-10-16 07:17:49 PM  
My sister was BIG on Halloween. She was invited to a party and asked if I'd babysit. I was in 10th grade and got Julie with the great tits to stay with me. Doorbell kept ringing, I put sign on the door" out of candy, sorry" and macked on the couch to that great moment when she says "do you have protection?" I slip it on, slip it in and 27 seconds later when my 27cc load was erupted, I looked down and NSFW cried. [EDITOR'S NOTE: she eventually got her period...phew!]
2002-10-16 07:17:55 PM  
eh, This isn't THAT funny.. but every year I dress up as a zombie to hand out candy.. I must admit I do a pretty good job with the make-up.. and my creepers add a few inches to my height. I deck the house out in cobwebs and graves and whatnot... and behind the bushes I put on the obligatory tape of scary sound effects.. Which means that every 45 minutes I have to go out behind the bushes and flip the tape over (hey, its a cheap boom box).

So at around 10:00pm or so I was resetting the tape, and as I stood up I saw a girl walking towards me.. as I rose up out of the shadows in front of her she let out the most bloodchilling scream I'd ever heard in my life.. I almost fell backwards because I wasn't expecting it.

I started freaking out and apologizing profusely, all the while her father is standing in the street cracking up.. I felt terible.. so I gave her like three handfulls of candy..
2002-10-16 07:18:31 PM  
We also had a Belgian couple on the block who gave out ice cream cones every year. Very weird.
2002-10-16 07:19:48 PM  
"* We are a wacky bunch, so wacky I already know it will say 'death by misadventure' on my death certificate. The timing is unimportant; not looking like a total ass is the hard part."

Tell ya what HamsterBoy, everybody looks pretty stupid when they're dead.
2002-10-16 07:20:42 PM  
SAPPIEST AND LAMEST STORY EVER (don't say I didn't warn you):

I was dating my soon-to-be-wife and another girl, and I invited both to our Halloween bash (college, 6 roommates, insane). I was not a wholesome guy. In fact, I dressed up as a pimp with silver shoes (my buddies dressed as "ho's" and we took a picture - Funniest.Idiocy.Ever).

Well, I hadn't dated a single person in the 3 years prior to that. And here I was with two. And I was a jackass and invited BOTH to a party, where I was dressed like a pimp. I thought I was *stylin*.

Well, at one point, my wife took me aside and asked me who the other girl was, and well... She wasn't happy, because I told her the whole truth. But we had this incredible, non-judgemental, odd-ball conversation that let me know. She was it.

I took her out back where it was private, and I somehow managed to stammer out that I wanted her to be the only person that mattered to me. I asked her to "go out" with me. Dumb, huh? But, she thought it was great. Don't ask me why.

I kissed her in front of the other girl. Not intentionally, mind you, I was trying to be cool about it. But the other girl stormed off.

And I married the girl that I chose.


Morals of the story:
1. Halloween is awesome. We got married the 28th of October, because it was the closest day possible without looking like freaks.

2. Somehow, I managed to get a girl. Hell, TWO.

3. My wife would tell this story completely differently, and I don't care. $5 says she'd say that she didn't know about this other girl until after the party. To which I say B.S.

4. We do "it".

Thank you.
2002-10-16 07:21:41 PM  
What the hell, if you want to vote for my story, vote for this comment.
2002-10-16 07:22:44 PM  
When i was a lil younger i would wear all black and hide in the bushes armed with a floodlight. Then when the lil kids walked by, I would jump out, flash the floodlight at them, and scare the hell outta them. Eventually I felt sorry for all the kids who threw their candy in the air though, and grew out of it. But it was fun while it lasted.
2002-10-16 07:23:24 PM  
ok...thats not cool...i didnt say to look @ boobies...whose the wise guy. :P
2002-10-16 07:26:33 PM  
watch this farker take a good idea, and turn it into a Blair Witch project type crpa film...

2002-10-16 07:26:58 PM  
Friend from work came over. She was kinda keen on my. She had on a black sheer witch's thing outfit. She liked Halloween, I did too... later that night, we played Circle Jerks on the stereo and on the couch in between answering the door and drinking beer. Life was good...
2002-10-16 07:29:49 PM  
Funniest has to have been when we were tricker treating with my younger cousin Mike. We went to a house that had a couple huge Saint Bernards. When they answered the door, a woman came to the door, and so did one of the Bernards. Mike, who was 6 or 7 at the time stuck his hand out to pet the Bernard. It let out the loudest bark I have ever heard, and Mike not only shot his hand back, but also took off running. We got our candy, and had to track him down. 15 minutes later, we finally found him. We were still laughing our asses off, and he was still scared as shiite.
2002-10-16 07:30:42 PM  
Not a fond memory but a memory indeed, one halloween I decided to be Batman so I got a batman costume and since he had the bat bike I dressed my schwin bike up as the bat-bike (figured I could do more trick-or-treating that way). Well the cape that was supplied didn't work the way I wanted it to (not long enough) so my mother made a longer cape. As I was riding around from house to house the cape got tangeled in the rear tire and pulled me off my bike backwards and tightened around my neck, I could still breath but could not get the cape off so someone had to cut it off. It was a good idea though, up until that point I was making a killing in candy by using my bike.
2002-10-16 07:30:57 PM  
Don't really have "scary moments" as a kid for Halloween,I found a needle in my snickers bar once though.
Also when I was about 12 or so,I was living with my asshat father,I decided to go as a prostitute that year,(always had big boobies,hehe) well,he got pissed that his friend checked me out and grounded me....Needless to say,didnt go no candy that year..trick of that night is that he went off and married some chick,but the treat was she left him a week later..AHHH Sweet Sweet Bliss!!!!
2002-10-16 07:35:13 PM  
My other favorite halloween: A bunch of us dressed up like Kiss. I got to be Gene Simmons since I had long hair and the tongue. I wish I was at home so I could scan the pics for you guys. Maybe I'll get a chance in a few hours.
2002-10-16 07:36:03 PM  
I was about 15 and my best friend and I were at her parents house. It wasn't dark yet, so we didn't expect anyone to come trick or treating. In the kitchen we each lit a joint and needless to say there was plenty of smoke around. Well, DAD came walking up with my little sister!!!! The front door was open and I had to lay on the floor to avoid being seen. My friend gave alot of candy and closed the door.

THAT was scary.
2002-10-16 07:37:59 PM  
Kids down the street from me create a house of horror's and have a guy chase people down the street with a real chaisaw (saw blade removed) it is a riot to sit outside and watch people running down the street screaming their heads off.
Displayed 50 of 132 comments

Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Newest | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter

Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.