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(Fark)   Fark's 2007 Headline of the Year contest, Round 3: July through September (details in thread)   ( divider line
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2941 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2007 at 1:35 PM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Smartest)

2007-12-28 01:26:29 PM  
856 votes:
Bear attack victim had 'tender heart,' according to friends, family, bear
2007-12-28 01:30:56 PM  
811 votes:
Man who beat his girlfriend with a flashlight charged with assault. Flashlight charged with battery
2007-12-28 01:26:45 PM  
354 votes:
Blind man reunited with missing seeing eye dog (as far as he knows)
2007-12-28 01:32:11 PM  
350 votes:
British spy agency spied on George Orwell for decades after fearing what he thought and said was a danger to the state. If only there was a word to describe such a concept
2007-12-28 01:29:56 PM  
341 votes:
Chinese officials say bridge collapsed "like a blade slicing bean curd". Technicians from the International Metaphor Standardization Agency have been dispatched to introduce them to hot knives and butter
2007-12-28 01:26:10 PM  
335 votes:
70 percent of teens admit to "accidentally" stumbling across pornography while surfing the internet. Submitter can't begin to count number of times he's accidentally typed "asian transformer goat panties" into GIS
2007-12-28 01:32:57 PM  
304 votes:
British teacher likes his female students the way he likes his whisky: 17 years old, and mixed with coke
2007-12-28 01:34:35 PM  
296 votes:
Boston manholes bursting into flames. Early attempts to fix the problem went through several preparations. Preparations A through G were a complete failure. But now, they finally have a working solution
2007-12-28 01:27:32 PM  
295 votes:
Baby born drunk. Doctors say his blood-alcohol count was six times the legal driving limit. Fortunately, they took his giant plastic keys
2007-12-28 01:25:56 PM  
288 votes:
Billy Graham's wife Ruth has left him to be with Jesus. Evangelist always suspected their gardener was up to no good
2007-12-28 01:27:58 PM  
272 votes:
33 high school cheerleaders get into a fight in a dorm hallway at the end of a four-day cheerleading camp. There were no arrests, but dozens of male fans who witnessed the melee were treated at the scene for priapism
2007-12-28 01:34:20 PM  
271 votes:
Canadian mob politely beats up wedding crasher who ran over a polar bear with his igloo or something. Anyways there probably was bacon served at some point in the wedding. In Canada the bacon is round like a circle
2007-12-28 01:28:46 PM  
271 votes:
House full of marijuana plants catches fire. Firefighters arrive on scene, forget what they were going to do when they got there, and then wander away in search of burritos
2007-12-28 01:30:38 PM  
260 votes:
Copyright infringement lawsuit over sanitary pads finally coming to an end after a long period
2007-12-28 01:27:13 PM  
245 votes:
Liz Claiborne unveils new Flat Line
2007-12-28 01:30:21 PM  
236 votes:
Russian region announces a National Day of Screwing. Here in the US we already have that, and it's on April 15
2007-12-28 01:33:49 PM  
223 votes:
The first rule of 1st Grade Sex Club is don't talk about 1st Grade Sex Club. Second rule: Color inside the lines
2007-12-28 01:29:23 PM  
219 votes:
Usher weds in Atlanta. Family of groom said to be furious. He was only supposed to show people to their seats
2007-12-28 01:27:45 PM  
198 votes:
Guilt can reinforce positive social behaviors. You'd know that if you would just click the link, but nooooo, you're too busy and important. I go to all this trouble to write this headline, and you can't even click on the link
2007-12-28 01:32:27 PM  
196 votes:
Billionaire Richard Branson enlists Google Earth in the search for missing adventurer Steve Fossett, hoping that his habit of wearing a giant pushpin on his head will finally pay off
2007-12-28 01:25:37 PM  
195 votes:
Editor delves into the heteroclitic and lachrymose bailiwick of the hoi polloi of public relations wordsmiths vis-a-vis marshaling his available resources and journalistic strategies to present a verbose yet viable assay of verbiage
2007-12-28 01:29:40 PM  
194 votes:
Police arrest French teen over Harry Potter translation. Will probably be sent to pound-me-in-the-Azkaban-prison
2007-12-28 01:33:30 PM  
193 votes:
Power outage hits 60 percent of Saskatchewan, plunging nearly 500 people into darkness
2007-12-28 01:29:04 PM  
186 votes:
Russian police fear "chessboard killer" has murdered 62 people as part of his own personal game. Another 2 were merely captured en passant
2007-12-28 01:28:33 PM  
174 votes:
Police find body in lake at summer camp... BUT THEY NEVER FOUND HIS HEAD
2007-12-28 01:28:12 PM  
168 votes:
Catholic priests to preach that tax evasion is a sin. Unless you're a multi-national corporation headquartered in the Vatican whose extensive properties are largely exempt from taxation. Then it's OK
2007-12-28 01:34:01 PM  
154 votes:
British Navy allows blogging aboard its ships for first time ever. But really, how interesting could it possibly be? "Day 1: Rum. Day 2: Sodomy. Day 3: The lash"
2007-12-28 01:32:41 PM  
148 votes:
Married couple divorce after pouring out their hearts to each other in online chats before discovering who they were talking to. Guess they didn't both love pina coladas and getting caught in the rain
2007-12-28 01:26:58 PM  
123 votes:
Two year old accepted to Mensa, proving that she's an equal of Stephen Hawking in terms of intelligence, incontinence
2007-12-28 01:31:08 PM  
117 votes:
There once was a man named Viener, accused of showing his wiener. Despite being a jerk, the cops botched their work, and dismissed it as a misdemeanor
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