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(Wired)   So that's how Santa does it   (wired.com) divider line 32
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16344 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Dec 2007 at 2:09 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



32 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread
 
2007-12-24 08:18:18 PM  
Someone put way too much thought into that. But it is awesome.
 
2007-12-24 08:18:22 PM  
Are those scuba diving ninjas stealing the presents?
 
2007-12-24 08:29:37 PM  
I thought he just mastered time travel.
 
2007-12-24 09:36:10 PM  
Ah, but to be truly successful, there really needs to be a Q4 evaluation sometime in January to discuss the logistical problems of the previous delivery.
 
2007-12-25 02:13:16 AM  
I remember once being told by the news that santa was spotted flying over china, but I did the math and figured out it was still daylight there...and he had the same handwriting as my mother...
 
2007-12-25 02:16:10 AM  
just popping in to say wired sucks
 
2007-12-25 02:17:17 AM  
80% of children are considered nice?

I'll remember this during my next trip to Wal-Mart.
 
2007-12-25 02:31:10 AM  
I saw Santa when I was a kid.
He was Farking my momma and 9 months later the stork brought that biatch of a sister.
And then I only got half the presents.
But I showed my sister. I carefully opened a present.Removed the item and crapped in the box and rewrapped it, just for her.

/Oh the joy of that christmas.
 
2007-12-25 02:35:48 AM  
Terry Pratchett already covered this.

The rules get temporarily suspended.

Duh.

/DRTFA
 
2007-12-25 02:36:41 AM  
Get Lost: I saw Santa when I was a kid.
He was Farking my momma and 9 months later the stork brought that biatch of a sister.
And then I only got half the presents.
But I showed my sister. I carefully opened a present.Removed the item and crapped in the box and rewrapped it, just for her.

/Oh the joy of that christmas.


bro?
 
2007-12-25 02:39:10 AM  
ZemTheManiac: Terry Pratchett already covered this.

The rules get temporarily suspended.

Duh.

/DRTFA


Haha. I love pratchett.
 
2007-12-25 02:52:32 AM  
img184.imageshack.us
 
2007-12-25 02:58:52 AM  
So magic just doesn't fly anymore, does it?
 
2007-12-25 03:00:57 AM  
God bless that page that allows easy posters.
 
2007-12-25 03:04:25 AM  
I'm scared. There are Navy SEALS in my living room right now... I can hear them rustling the paper.

All these years...

/Ya'll have a Merry Christmas!
 
2007-12-25 03:04:45 AM  
It's just after 3 am on the east coast.
"Merry Christmas" everyone.

To another day and another season and another year;
WHO-DEY.

-Kygz
 
2007-12-25 03:18:22 AM  
It's 9:15 am in Spain. Santa has passed but everyone is still asleep! Ha!

Feliz Navidad a todos
 
2007-12-25 03:22:38 AM  
Santa only delivers to the US now?
 
2007-12-25 03:31:12 AM  
iammiles: Santa only delivers to the US now?

There are other countries?
 
2007-12-25 03:42:50 AM  
How does Santa do it?

With a Ho.

How does Mormon Santa do it?

With Ho Ho Ho!
 
2007-12-25 04:13:52 AM  
1:08 in San Diego, if you don't know what's wrong with Ameerican Culture, watch "The Hogfather".

Merry Christmas ya'all!


/This message brought to you from Maker's Mark and an American Fabaticist.
 
2007-12-25 04:14:57 AM  
content.answers.com
 
2007-12-25 05:09:13 AM  
The Hogfather could kick Santa's ass.
 
2007-12-25 10:06:07 AM  
image.vmixcore.com

Merry Christmas every one
 
2007-12-25 11:45:13 AM  
Santa uses satellites and can slow time. I saw it in "The Night They Saved Christmas".
 
2007-12-25 12:34:21 PM  
I like Gaimans version better, Ho Ho Ho.
 
2007-12-25 12:44:52 PM  
Every year Santa delivers gifts, but there is always a movie detailing the horrible screwup or sabotage of last year's present delivering sessions.
 
2007-12-26 02:31:04 AM  
Rolander: I like Gaimans version better, Ho Ho Ho.

Nicolas Was...

older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, tittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in their factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing andprotesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and
Judas. His punsidhment was harsher.

Ho.
Ho.
Ho.

Neil Gaiman, Smoke and Mirrors, 1999
 
2007-12-26 03:52:30 AM  
So I learned this Christmas he was originally Odin, the Norse god, riding on a flying horse, leaving candy for kids. Then the Christians co-opted him and swapped him for some Turkish bishop who bailed out some ladies dowries one time. Then some guy writes a poem where he's a jolly fat elf and later, some ad exec from Coca-Cola draw pictures of him and it sticks. As absurd and commercial as it is, the concept of Santa Claus is still kinda fun, even if it is a commercial for Coke.

//that's the song I sing
 
2007-12-26 05:44:02 PM  
cectic.com
cectic.com
cectic.com
cectic.com
 
2007-12-27 02:30:44 PM  
I'm getting a kick out of the url /st_santa_1512?lolhomeinvasionpad
 
2007-12-27 07:15:08 PM  
*scoff* Please. Everyone knows the reason he's able to do it is easily explained by particle teleportation, parallel dimensions, and quantum physics. Santa may or may not exist simultaneously in all or no places all or none of the time. "He knows when you're awake," is just layman's words for the quantum observer effect. The milk and cookies don't get drank or eaten, either, most of the particles simply become displaced and jump somewhere else (thus explaining crumbs left over). On top of that - presents? Parallel dimensions. They appear out of their own accord through pockets in this dimension with respect to the desires of the thoughts of the children. DUH.

Now Rudolph? That's a sad story...
 
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